Reddit mentions of The ABC's of LGBT+: (Gender Identity Book for Teens)

So, telling your mom that you're something that doesn't exist ("queer", trans and now non-binary) is "beautiful"? All in 2 years. Is she going through all the labels she wrote about in her book, which she calls "super-gay"? How old is she, for crying out loud? [edit] 26? Really? Acts like 12 and sounds like 6.

Using that pollyanna personality to blog her life and get "fans". What normal person does that if they have little or no talent?

If I were her mom, I'd take her to a decent therapist and find out what issue(s) is involved in her disordered thinking. Mom already knew because she read the book that her daughter wrote:

The ABC's of LGBT+ Paperback – September 25, 2016

https://www.amazon.com/ABCs-LGBT-Ashley-Mardell/dp/163353409X/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&keywords=abcs%20of%20lgbt%2B&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&psc=1&qid=1519424208&ref_=mp_s_a_1_1&sr=8-1-spons

Mom: "Whatever."

> Are there any agreed-upon definitions for what those two identities mean with regards to sexual attraction?

Yes and no. What everyone can agree on is that bisexuality and pansexuality (and omnisexuality and polysexuality) are not monosexualities and not asexuality (this relationship holds if you replace all instances of "sexuality" with "romanticism"). Bisexuality and pansexuality (and omni and poly) are all about being attracted to people of two or more genders. So everything else, how many genders they're attracted to, how their attraction manifests, their preferences as they relate to gender, are not shared.

Because of this core shared element (at least 2 genders) and various differing periphery elements, there is lots of overlap and lots of disagreement. This is because 1) words are difficult, and 2) identity (what we decide to call ourselves and how we frame our understanding of ourselves) do not deterministically lead to the names we use.

> Is it fair to say that pansexuality falls under the umbrella of bisexuality?

This touches on the natural languages problems I mentioned earlier. There are may pan people (and omni and poly) who do also identify as bi, either for convenience or solidarity/community, but there are also lots of pan (and omni and poly) people who do not. Once again, this is all dependent on how the individual identifies.

For example: I'm pan (or omni, I'm still figuring that out). I like people regardless of gender (or of any gender. Again, still trying to figure out my feelings). However, I also identify as bi. This is because 1) it's often more convenient when I (rarely) try to explain to people what the hell I am, 2) I find my experiences match up fairly well with people who identify as bi (but not as much as people who identify as pan/omni), and 3) we face lots of the same issues (bi/pan/omni/poly erasure, bi/pan/omni/poly phobia). This operates in the same way that some bi people identify also as gay/lesbian. I personally think these overlapping, nested, and "inclusive" definitions are beneficial (especially for people still trying to figure things out), but there is also a desire from some people to be very discrete and exclusive with their identity.

> This would more or less be aligned with the notion that nonbinary folks (including myself) are part of the broader transgender community, but not all trans folks are nonbinary, right?

Yeah. Again, we have to remember that individual's identities come before any generalized categories.

> how come there is so much infighting over this?

Because these people often face erasure, we feel the need to, well, fight for our existence. This manifests in infighting whenever someone else uses your identity in a way that you don't use it.

> Does anyone know what the consensus is amongst gender/sexuality/LGBT scholars?

I have absolutely no idea. I imagine any scholarly works are 1) sparse, 2) new, and 3) still under investigation because of 1) and 2). I'll add an edit if I find anything.

EDIT: I remembered that some of my understanding is informed by Ash Hardell's The ABC's of LGBT, which covers a lot more of what I said starting from a place of descriptivism and exploration as opposed to prescriptivism. Might be worth a look for everyone else?

Misc. Thoughts

> Phrases similar to "bisexuality is so binary" were also used in that dialogue

I don't watch Big Head so I don't have the full context, but there are plenty of nonbinary people who identify as bisexual while attracted to more than two genders. The artist Meiko is an example of this. So again, bisexuality can be an umbrella for other identities (like pan, omni, poly, etc). However, you need only take a trip over to transphobic bisexual subreddits (that I really don't want to link) to discover that some bisexuals are restricted to the binary.

> Some viewers have taken to social media to voice their concerns over how the show's presentation of pansexuality versus bisexuality isn't nuanced enough.

Looking at the segment you linked, it seems basic but passable. It can get the general idea across, but obviously isn't some college lecture on the etymology, usage, and history of these terms.

A quick reminder of roots
I used lots of overlapping terms in this, so I'll just place the roots of those real quick and my own personal understandings of those. The roots are etymological, but the definitions that follow are my own personal interpretations that are useful for me. Other people will have other definitions, which, as you've already read, makes this challenging.

1. Monosexual/monoromantic: The prefix "mono-" meaning "one." Someone sexually/romantically attracted to one gender.
   
2. Asexual/aromantic: The prefix "a-" meaning "none." Someone who lacks/has a very low sexual/romantic attraction
   
3. Bisexual/biromantic. "Bi-" is the latin prefix for "two," with the greek counterpart being "di-." Some takes bisexuality/biromanticism to mean sexually/romantically attracted to exactly two genders. Others (including myself) take it to mean sexually/romantically attracted to two or more genders.
   
   
4. Pansexual/panromantic: from the greek prefix "pan-" meaning "all". This is usually used to mean people who are sexually/romantically attracted to people of any gender, but specifically regardless of gender. This bolded part is important because...
   
   
5. Omniseuxal/omniromantic: from the roman prefix "omni-" meaning "all." You'll notice this, etymologically, is semantically identical to "pan-." However, most people who identify as omni use it to mean people who are sexually/romantically attracted to people of any gender, but not necessarily regardless of gender. For pan and omni people, this can be an important distinction because, for those who identify as omni, it can allow for preferences/different specific attractions depending on gender.
   
   
6. Polysexual/polyromantic: From the greek prefix "poly-" meaning "many." Don't get this confused with polygamy or polyamory. Polysexual/romantic people usually identify this way because they are sexually/romantically attracted to more than two genders, but not necessarily people of any gender identity.

Haven't read it, any good?

You can definitely be a mix of everything if you want, gender has no specific rules and a lot of what we consider to be "masculine things" vs "feminine things" are just social constructs.

It's also perfectly fine to be a cis-gendered man who feels like and identifies as a cis-gendered man, but wants to look like what society thinks girls look like some days. The great thing about personal identity is, is that it's personal...it's yours and you can choose to express what you feel however you want.

There are a LOT of labels out there - genderfluid, genderqueer, nonbinary, etc... A lot of people don't feel comfortable labeling themselves, but some people definitely do feel that labels can help them to better discover their identity and find community in shared experience, and either way is OK too.

I'd recommend getting a copy of the book, The ABC's of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardell - it does a really good job of examining sex, gender, and LGBTQ+ identity and might help you find some clarity.

It's on Amazon at the link above, but you might also be able to find it at your local library.

Just do your best to be a general nice person and know that there might be times you'll have to correct yourself and do so gracefully and you should be fine. The internet naturally brings out the worst in a lot of people and it is not a true reflection of the world. If you're really interested in learning more and you're not opposed to some reading I recommend taking a look at the book that helped me: The ABC's of LGBT+ by Ashley Mardell

Ash Hardell's "The ABCs of LGBT+"