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Reddit mentions of The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide

Sentiment score: 5
Reddit mentions: 6

We found 6 Reddit mentions of The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide. Here are the top ones.

The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide
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  • Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find-and Keep-Love
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Release dateSeptember 2015

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Found 6 comments on The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide:

u/Pentacat · 17 pointsr/ENFP

Actually I have been feeling the same for a few months as well, probably even for half a year. I wasn't really sure what triggered it as well, I just became quite moody and frustrated. There are only very brief moments when I return to the "good days me" like you.

But I think I might have some idea why. What's happening is the inferior cognitive functions of the ENFP taking over (I recommend reading Heide's book on ENFP). This is a result of certain stress that forces us to shun away from our primary cognitive functions - the instrumental parts that make up ENFPs like you said.

I attribute my stresses to the accumulation of my anxiety of the uncertainty, of the worry I have about what the future holds for me. I'm just entering this adulting thing and it is a pretty rough entry. So maybe you could think if there are any worry or stresses you have with your current life. But I mean, stress is inevitable in our daily lives, so you (we) must try to find to work around it so we don't feel so stressed and still get shit done. Is there anything you are holding back? - The fear of certain failures, not meeting certain expectations, not giving yourself enough space and alone time.

I feel like I need a breather, a respite from all of what I have lived with for the past 21 years of my life. And that is why I decided to take a 50 day backpacking trip like a true ENFP and meet people and hear stories from other people about their lives and share mine. I am really hoping that would help me; even if it doesn't, at least I come back with great experiences and even more stories to tell.

I know this travelling to "find yourself" thing is getting very popular and losing its meaning, but I'm sure I can learn a lot more about myself compared to just staying here at home doing the same things I have been doing.

This is getting long, but I really have to thank you for allowing a place for me to finally write down how I feel about myself right now, seeing that there are other ENFPs out there feeling the same thing as me. I hope I have been of help and perhaps you can share some of your insights with me as well :)

u/Byeka · 11 pointsr/ENFP

I'm going to suggest reading this book. I just got it last week and have been going through it. Just read the chapter on ENFP dating and it was a tremendous insight into some of the problems I've encountered, which are similar to yours.

The gist is that we are excitable and that's a good thing. We just need to find someone who can appreciate it. The other thing is we have "the grass is always greener" symptom, where we're always on the lookout for the next best thing, which can make it hard to commit.

Our enthusiasm is one of our best assets and the right person will appreciate that. There is a difference between a "healthy" and "unhealthy" ENFP though, and how we focus our energy and enthusiasm.

u/Ineverdrankcoffee · 7 pointsr/ENFP

Haha, I guess it was because all the girls were just jealous of me having longer hair than all of them (until last summer)...

On a serious note: percentually there are simply more female ENFP’s than male ENFP’s. The most prevalent male personalities are also S/T, and on average there seem to be more introverted men than extraverted men. So ENFP is almost the complete opposite of the male archetype.

Second question: I have a few female friends/acquinances that I get along with very well without wanting anything ‘more’ from them. Why do you think that is a typical ENFP thing by the way? I also have male friends who have female friends that they’re not into, and they’re not ENFP...

Third question: If I try to read between the lines of your post, you don’t really like the idea of the ‘classic male’, as I understand you apperently do/like things others would rather not see you doing/liking. That smells like inferior Si, aka “how everybody does things is exactly what I won’t be doing”. That would thus mean you’re more of an ENFP than an INFP. Another way to know is if you often do things without thinking them through first. That’s more of an ENFP thing, because we lead with a perceiving function instead of a judging function. Also remember that Ne is in many ways an ambiverted function. Your intuition is aimed ‘outwards’, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be around people to do it. I can sit in complete silence and still think up crazy ideas and plans. That’s the reason ENFP’s are ‘the most introverted extraverts’. When I read through r/infp I can actually relate to a lot of their stuff too, so I think maybe ENFP and INFP might be a bit closer together than other types. If you’re still not sure, read this book.

So coming back to the feminine/manly and ENFP/INFP thing at the same time: it seems like you want to achieve things verbally but aren’t able too (e.g. convincing someone of something, making new friends, I don’t know?). I honestly didn’t have a great time in high school, and I felt a lot of anxiety just like you do.

First tip: start walking upright! Point your toes in-line with your knees, slant your hips forward, lift your sternum up, push your shoulders back, straighten your neck and keep your chin down. Boom! Instant self-confidence. Practice in front of a mirror and don’t ever walk like a hunchback EVER again.

Second tip: stop feeling embarassed for the stuff you love. Do you like crocheting? Own it! If people ask you about your hobbies, just tell them straight up what you like. show no fear. If somebody is calling you feminine, buy yourself a really girly phone cover or an agenda for pre-schoolers. Stick it in their face as if it were a big middle finger. Would you mess with a guy who tattooed disney princesses on his arms?

Third tip: use your Fi and ask yourself how you truly want other males to perceive you. For example, read through r/seduction and ask yourself whether or not you would be comfortable behaving yourself like the folks on there. Do you want to be the cool guy picking up ladies like they come out of a vending machine, or do you want to stay 100% true to yourself and keep your every bit of your ENFP discussion style (seeing everyone’s perspective, nicely asking everyone for their opinion before doing anything, etc.). If you’re anything like me, you’d want to be somewhere in the middle. It’s the same for other aspects of your life other than dating. At some point I realized that it’s simply quite annoying to people to be the guy who always wants to weigh in everyone’s thoughts and wants to be accepted by everyone. If you want others to respect you, sometimes you just have to say stuff like “I want to...”/“I’m going to...”/“Come on, let’s...”/“I have other plans” etc. In short: society’s cruel, and will be like that forever. ENFP’s are prone to being used by others because they’re always willing to help, and because they see mostly good in others. Stop wanting validation for everything. Start setting healthy boundaries for yourself, and the rest will fall into place.

Fourth tip: generously sprinkle some Si over your life. Don’t try to be ‘different’ just for the sake of being different. Wear some decent looking clothing during the day, you can still wear whatever you’d like to when you get home. Make yourself a schedule and stick to it. Sleep consistently, exercise consistently. If you feel like you need to put up a mask around some people to keep your life moving forward, just go for it. You’ll find enough people around whom you can be yourself along the way, just don’t bother so much with the rest.

Stay strong brother ;)

u/roland00 · 2 pointsr/ENFP

No you don't love the book, or else I will hear you recommending it more often to other ENFPs ^tease \^_\^

u/goofygrin · 1 pointr/ENFP

If you read https://www.amazon.com/Comprehensive-ENFP-Survival-Guide-ebook/dp/B012DP87ZO it discusses how people change and how many enfps emerge as they mature.