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Reddit mentions of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work

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Reddit mentions: 7

We found 7 Reddit mentions of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work. Here are the top ones.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work
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Release dateDecember 1999
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Found 7 comments on The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work:

u/Dai_Tensai · 46 pointsr/TwoXChromosomes

I recommend that you get https://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Art-Verbal-Self-Defense-Work/dp/0735200890 and read it. It will help with this, and it also offers some useful pointers for communicating, generally. Very useful for a litigator. I also recommend https://www.amazon.com/Deposition-Handbook-Revised-5th/dp/1941007309/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=the+deposition+handbook&qid=1555794825&s=books&sr=1-2 which has only a small section on this but is invaluable as a handbook.

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I suggest leveling whenever this happens. Express your objection, and the reason for it, and ask for an apology. Watch closely the reaction. If the person is speaking in good faith, talk it out. You are a professional advocate. They are a laymen. You will win; if by some chance you don't work out why, and adjust your technique accordingly. If they repent, forgive them. If at anytime they go rogue - resort to verbal attack, outright insult, false reasoning, etc - then stop talking it out and hammer them like you would an opponent who tried that in open court. Call them out on the insufficiency of their defense, state plainly the wrongdoing they have committed, and impose whatever sanctions are within your power to have imposed. Don't be ashamed to have your boyfriend pitch in if he's the one with more direct influence, which, in his home or at his family's appointment, he probably is.

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Also, if you haven't passed the bar yet, then don't take being mistaken for a paralegal as an insult. You don't yet have a license that sets you apart from them and there are paralegals who differ from attorneys only in that they are unlicensed. Those would take a similar offense to you objecting to be compared to them.

u/Tangurena · 7 pointsr/AskReddit

There are a number of books that I think you ought to read to get a better understanding of office politics and how to cope/deal with them. All offices have politicking going on, and any company that claims otherwise is lying to you. Any time more than 2 people get together, there will be some sort of jostling for power and attention. When that happens at work, we call it "office politics".

Your library may have these, and if you get them, read them at home. Don't ever bring them into the office.

Corporate Confidential. HR is your enemy, not your friend. Gives a number of examples of what will destroy your career with companies, many of which you (and I) probably do without realizing the consequences.

The Passionate Programmer. The first edition of this book was called "my job went to India". While aimed at programmers, the points are to keep your mind and skills up to date as technology and business move too rapidly to let things get rusty.

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated.
Looking out for number one.
Million Dollar Habits. I feel that these 3 by Robert Ringer are very important. If you think his first book was about to intimidate others, you only read the press coverage. If you think his books are about real estate, then you only skimmed them. There are a lot of people in the world who will try to intimidate you into giving up what is yours, and he shows you what some of them are like, and what countermeasures you can use.

The Art of Deception. Bad title - it is about arguments, how to make them, win them and tell if you're hearing a bad one. Used to be called "rhetoric" when Plato and Aristotle taught the subject.

Snakes in Suits. There are some evil people out there. You'll work for some of them. You will be stabbed in the back by some of them.

Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People. One book on office politics and dealing with some of the worse sort.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work. Some folks are very good with verbal manipulation, this book and the others in the series, cover how to deal with such people.

Winning with People. Most of the books this author writes are about managers and leadership. This book is more about people skills. It will be focused more at managers, but I think it is a good one.

The 48 Laws of Power. They have it. You want some. Light read with anecdotes. I like his other books as well.

Games At Work. Office politics.

It's All Politics. Yes it is.

Moral Politics. Liberals and conservatives, why do they think that way? You'll work with some of the opposite persuasion some day, so understanding where they come from is a reasonable idea. Most books on this subject are insulting and degrading, but I think this one is pretty much judgement-free.

> When I walk by him going to the bathroom, he will stop talking until I walk by.

Do the same. When they come to your desk, always brush them aside with "I'm sorry, I can't talk now, I'm busy working".

u/orchidsandtea · 4 pointsr/femalefashionadvice

I swear, growing older is amazing (and that's the best-kept secret, because I had no idea how much better each year gets). You are fine, and as long as you're kind to yourself and remember your worth, you'll do just fine. You'll survive this and get the hell out, to a place where you can wear properly-fitted clothes without harassment. You'll grow more confident and better-informed.

I'm only 25, but I kid you not, every year since 21 has been a new high. There's been tough times (understatement), but fundamentally, I'm good and getting better. My mother says the 30s are where it really gets good, but that every decade she knows her strength more and likes herself better.

Hang in there. BTW, resources: Captain Awkward for life and relationships of all kinds, Ask A Manager for workplace issues, The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense for de-escalating things that would otherwise lead to conflict.

u/IdyllMermaid · 3 pointsr/TheGirlSurvivalGuide

I recommend this writer, she has a series of books on how to deal verbally with difficult people and difficult situations. This one in particular is about the work place

https://www.amazon.ca/Gentle-Verbal-Self-Defense-Work/dp/0735200890

u/stickinitinaz · 3 pointsr/cigars

I feel the book "The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" is a great starting point. It has been reprinted, revised and spun off quite a few times. i have the 1980 printing, you may find This one more applicable.

Verbal Judo I believe /u/leatherheadff has taken the course on this.

I can tell you IMO emails and texts are one of the most dangerous forms of communications in the modern world. You lose intonation, inflection and body language which most experts and studies say is 60-95% of actual communication. It is also way to easy to shoot something off in the heat of a moment (My gmail has a ten second delay were I can cancel the sending if I have second thoughts) or while responding emotionally.

A quick trick for handling work emails is to ask yourself am I "reacting" or "responding". Delete any reactive content. Also, try to talk like spock or a computer and never leave in content that you are tempted to put an emoticon near. Very few emails should or need to be more then a couple of sentences. Always leave the address bar blank when composing an email and if you hesitate for more then a second before hitting send something most likely needs to be changed.

Sorry for wall of text, Adderall is in full effect.

u/shagreddit · 1 pointr/AskReddit

http://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Art-Verbal-Self-Defense/dp/0880290307

http://www.amazon.com/Gentle-Art-Verbal-Self-Defense-Work/dp/0735200890

You can get the audio book for wither one at audible.com, I used to have the same problem and the key for me was being organized with my thoughts and knowing what to say next. The jitters I found were a sign of panic and frustration, it all went away when i became more adept at articulating my point without using profanity or being redundant. Things like that made me feel like I was losing an argument or what have you.