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Reddit mentions of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (Mark Manson Collection Book 1)

Sentiment score: 18
Reddit mentions: 62

We found 62 Reddit mentions of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (Mark Manson Collection Book 1). Here are the top ones.

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (Mark Manson Collection Book 1)
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Found 62 comments on The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life (Mark Manson Collection Book 1):

u/jcbneuner · 13 pointsr/seduction

Accept that you are going to make mistakes and embarrass yourself. It sucks every time but learn from your mistakes and keep putting yourself out there. But you just have to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

Also, I read some self help books on some areas that I knew I was weak in. Like I used to be really bad about sticking up for myself and telling someone when I felt they were out of line because I wasn't sure how to handle the situation. So I bought [this book] (https://www.amazon.com/Assertiveness-Stand-Yourself-Respect-Others-ebook/dp/B006B96NDM/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493838086&sr=1-1&keywords=how+to+stand+up+for+yourself) and it made a huge difference.

Are you always worried about what everyone thinks about you? The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck made huge difference for me. Reflect on yourself and find your weak spots. Also maybe check out /r/selfimprovement if you haven't already.

u/kid_miracleman · 11 pointsr/Atlanta

I know people more than twice your age still coasting day-after-day miserable doing nothing to end their misery and just perpetually bitching in an infinite feedback loop. The fact you recognize that and are willing to change it is a MAJOR first step. Don't forget that.

When I was your age I was in a similar situation. I remember graduating high school asking my "friends" if any parties were happening. There were, I just wasn't invited. It broke my heart, but it also helped teach me a lesson: shitty friends are worse than none. Never let shitty people dictate your situation. If your boss sucks, find a new job. If your friends treat you shitty, find new friends. If your parents have stunted your growth as an adult, find new family.

Progress is made in inches, not miles. Flash forward to today and I'm making good money in a job field with a dramatic shortage of talent, so many great friends I can have adventures with, leading community building and activism efforts I believe in, and bringing cool art to the city I love (I'm doing an art show July 29th called "Kaiju Cult" with a guy who 5 years ago I admired but now we're business partners and friends).

If I could give you one piece of advice it would be this: you'll always have problems. A problem-free life is a work of fiction. You can only replace your bad problems with good ones. "I have no friends" eventually became "I have so many great friends but not enough time to spend with all of them". It's still a problem, but a good one to have. It didn't switch like that overnight and I had a LOT of heartbreak and bullshit to get to where I'm at.

If any of this advice is tickling your pickle, I highly recommend you give this a read:

https://smile.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499620209&sr=8-1&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f---+mark+manson

u/doctortofu · 10 pointsr/japanlife

Other than not giving a fuck? Not really...

Face it, it will continue to happen, nothing you can do about that, so the question is why do you actually care about them? A good point to start I suppose - first learn WHY they still annoy you, and then work on that...

u/red_cheese · 10 pointsr/DecidingToBeBetter

The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson

Many of the books mentioned in this thread borrow from the basic tenets of Stoicism. Mark Manson's book is almost a distillation of the idea of "How to be a stoic" and his writing is very relatable.

u/al_b69 · 8 pointsr/BipolarSOs

How long have you been with him/her? I was married to one (currently separated) and she is absolutely fine lying and cheating on me. As a psychologist friend said: "Lacking empathy is common in bipolar .... [snipped] .... is really some chemical imbalance that makes bipolar perceive world in a warped sense of reality that does not fit with generally accepted values".

You still are in love with your ex and it is OK to remain in love with them. The vacant space you're feeling only means there is room for next person to fill it. There comes a time when you need to separate love from relationship, the illness from the person.

The thought you could have had a rosy future and a great marriage was never there. It wasn't real to begin with. Letting go of the fantasy is the first step to moving on. A relationship generally starts great but the good bits with the ugly parts is what constitute a real relationship. With bipolar, they can be extremely nice to you and turn cold the next minute.

Are you sure you can live with their spending spree, irrational thoughts, mood swings, lack of empathy, infidelity (hypersexuality), delusions, grandiosity and to top it off, they can turn violent or harm themselves? How about not being able to sleep well (due to hyper vigilance) next to a bipolar for the rest of your life? You haven't been through what I had past 18 years - like being exposed to possible STD from SO's unprotected sex romp behind my back and having 6 months of anxiety until the STD test clears me.

As Mark Manson wrote "In life, our f&cks must be spent on something. There really is no such thing as not giving a f&ck. The question is simply how we each choose to allot our f&cks. You only get a limited number of f&cks to give over your lifetime, so you must spend them with care." His book is #1 in a few Amazon's category. Worth a read IMHO.

Hang in there. Time will heal you, get support from friends, family or therapy.

u/Limeitini · 8 pointsr/cripplingalcoholism

Man that sucks. I know you hate that job so I really hope you can find another one soon. That is probably what is causing this crushing depression because you have to deal with it (the job) on a daily damn basis.
I guess the only upside, if you can call it that, is to realize that once you do get out of that job the depression will lift.

Recently a friend of mine recommended a book to me, it's called The subtle art of not giving a fuck.... and said it was the best book because it basically teaches you how to deal with negative shit without letting it wreck your entire mood and existence. She recommended it to me because I also have a situation that depresses me that I need to deal with, so I plan to get this book very soon. Maybe it would be a good read for you too? It got a lot of amazing reviews.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1540213338&sr=8-2&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f---+mark+manson

Good luck. BTW congrats on the sobriety. At least you got that.... and the exercise and other positive things too.

u/Otto2020 · 6 pointsr/metalgearsolid

100%, OP. The series, as a whole, has strongly nurtured my understanding of philosophy, politics, social dynamics, etc etc... mostly by forcing me to question things in more practical and objective ways. It led me on a life long path of self-discovery that spent quite a bit of time focusing on Taoist concepts of balance, but lately those have been transitioning more towards a Stoic philosophy.

To paraphrase Mark Manson, we all have to give a fuck about something. We will all experience pain and unhappiness. but we're all also capable, to some extent, of choosing what we experience pain for. The decisions the games force you into making really capture that concept. Is saving Meryl worth enduring torture? Will Otacon resent me for killing Sniper Wolf? Why, oh why, am I so damn hesitant to pull the trigger in this field of white lilies, knowing that Russian fighters are en route to bomb the crap out of the area (and that I must, if I wish to proceed)? Do my saluting men know that I respect their sacrifice, even as I succumb to the inevitability of taking their lives to protect the world at large?

All of these hard choices are toward greater ends. All of life's hard choices are toward greater ends. The characters of this series all have strong conviction in their causes, and because they believe in what they are doing so wholeheartedly, they are willing to confront and endure immense pain to accomplish their objectives. The loss of our limbs. The theft of our children. The deaths of our comrades. The total destruction of everything we’ve worked toward creating. Torture. Being forever falsely remembered in dishonor. And yet they persist in their endeavors, determined. Loyalty to the end. We, as a player, reap the benefits of this conviction, while also possessing objective insights that the protagonist is blinded to.

And so, in life, I have strived for, and successfully attained, more conviction and confidence in my actions because I approach them objectively. Likewise, when I realize I am wrong or don't have enough information on a topic to make an educated judgement, I accept that and act accordingly.

TL;DR: I understand with more clarity. I never stop seeking more understanding. I make better decisions, even when they are hard. And if I'm wrong, I accept it and fix it instead of immaturely justifying my actions.

u/blobbyseconds · 6 pointsr/seduction

Okay mate, I'm gonna be honest with ya. You have some serious inner game problems. But don't worry, they're all real easy fixes.

Coming from everything you wrote, you seem to be hyper aware of what everyone might think of you. Emphasis on might. Thing is, you don't know. These are all assumptions. When you say that you "don't want to come off as a nerd so [you're] not going to only talk about tv," you're making the assumptions that only nerds talk about TV. Well guess what, that's just plain wrong. Why? Because you said so.

You have to understand that girls are not logical creatures. Primarily. They are emotional beings who respond to spikes in emotion. You're not going to win them over by checking off every box on their "Is he a cool guy" list. No. You're going to win them over by pumping them full of a wide range of emotions and being a chill dude who doesn't give a fuck.

What's essentially going on is that you're giving a fuck about things you shouldn't give a fuck about. Your values are in the wrong place. And I know the perfect book you should read for that. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. It's a blazingly quick read that's easy as fuck due to Mark's super casual language. But don't let that fool you. He serves wisdom on a silver platter page after damn page. This book helped me tons and I hope it'll help you too.

Solve those inner game issues, and you'll be raking in pussy like nobody's business.

u/RocketDodo · 5 pointsr/aspergers

You seem distressed.

i can recommend this look, i put this to practice years ago even thou i only read this book a few days ago.

Stop, giving, a, fuck.

Chill out, stop being down. stop caring about what others think. you don't have the mental energy to deal with the world, or so it seems like.

Stop caring, really, just stop.

Get a job, if its a low wage one. start making money, start chatting with your co-workers. get some hobbies that'll force you to be with people. karatee, hockey, football, whatever.

Its not going to be easy. but do it.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

I can also recommend finding your ' quiet place '. a place in some forest or perhaps just some corner in a local park you like.

Also, remember, you're just 19, you are barely a grown up yet. life is difficult and for someone with a disability its never going to be easy. but make it easier for yourself if it even means making some sacrifices in one way or the other. you have at least 45 years left on this planet, make them comfy for your own sake.

u/justingiddings · 4 pointsr/Screenwriting

I strongly recommend the book The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A Fuck by Mark Mansen (blog post)(Amazon link)

Your script could literally be the most beautiful thing ever written by the hand of man or woman, but to have a long career in Hollywood, psychological resiliency is going to be essential. As somebody with an anxiety and eating disorder who has worked for 15 years in the industry, I'm telling you this from experience.

Also, coverage / advice from random internet people is barely useful at best. For example, my last script was a SEcond Rounder at Austin Film Festival. The coverage was glowing. But the reader who kept us from becoming a finalist also provided their coverage and it was the exact opposite of what the previous reader had said. And these are the AFF readers, some of the best in the biz.

So who was right? Was my film a game-changing thriller, or a tired cliche?

Who the fuck knows?

I am proud of it and it's generally done well enough that I can trust it's a good enough script to justify my being proud of it.

Another story: I just recently got notes on the first draft of a script I was hired to write by a production company able to finance the whole film. In the room, it was very complimentary, all the things they liked. Then we discussed what didn't work, but it was still pretty positive. Then they sent over their written notes and it was harsh as fuck. Was I freaking out? Sure, for about ten minutes, but then I remembered that this is part of the screenwriting process. It takes multiple drafts, multiple rounds of notes, and a whole lot of "this sucks" before we get to "this rocks."

At the end of the day, you have to trust yourself and your instincts AND be able to take the punches that will absolutely come your way.

u/LamaWaffle · 3 pointsr/Codependency

This book isn't so much about boundaries but I think it's an overall great book to read to have a healthy life with better values. It's called The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

This book does touch on boundaries but it's mostly how to change your perspective of adversity and change for the better.
Hope that helps? :)

u/danielsharps42 · 3 pointsr/NoFap

Wonderful message! Thanks so much for taking your time to write it.

The tone of your writing reminds me of the writing in "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck". Maybe you should write a book? :)

u/TheCatWasAsking · 3 pointsr/Philippines

Hey man, cheer up. I've gone through this very same phase for several years and when it ended, I felt a wee bit foolish for having such a narrow view of things. It used to depress me that our greatest export is menial labor and we have a general lack of any contribution to the course of human progress (which was actually an essay of some foreigner commenting about Filipinos as a nation). We still have to win an Olympic medal not because we don't have the athletes but because of corruption and politics. What eventually got me out of this downward spiral of toxic loathing was the knowledge Filipinos are not unique with their societal problems. Here, try this: replace the "Filipino" in your statement with "American," "Somalian" or "Korean," and you'll find people who think your statement is true for them as well. Why do you think there's a Futurama meme about not wanting to live in this planet anymore? Because what you're feeling is universal. One very old quote that's stuck to me is "It's not a sin to be Irish, but it is a great shame." Said by an Irish bloke, no less.

Anywhere you look, if you look objectively, life sucks, even in most modern, progressive countries. This frustration is more visceral for you because your proximity to the problems. Try playing the "at least" game:
"at least we haven't bombed a country and massacred vast swathes of innocent people" (still happening now btw)
"at least we haven't invaded and destroyed entire pre-existing societies and cultures, enslaved their people and exploited them to the fullest for personal gain."

Etc etc.


It's all about perspective, man. I strongly suggest reading this book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Manson. Helped me out a lot and now I'm the chillest f*cker in my block (nah, not really lol).

u/conelrad79 · 3 pointsr/AirForce

I read The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life.

It's like studying Zen Buddhism, only with swearing.

u/SeniorSophomore · 2 pointsr/CalgaryFlames

That's interesting. I'll definitely take a look at it.

[What about this book?] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B019MMUA8S/ref=pd_aw_sim_351_1?ie=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=8PZ5DWHSSSF9HT7CJP6Z)

u/ColinsEgo · 2 pointsr/conspiracy

Because you get to experience different lifetimes like a video game :D

Deep down you can return anytime you'd like.

But deep down you also don't want to, your soul WANTS to be here. Everything is free-will, you chose this on some level prior to being here. You can call it being a "light worker" you can call it your soul playing different avatars as different "Vdieo games", you can call it a universal school of 3-dimensional-to-5th-dimensional-consciousness shifting process. YOU CAN CALL IT A CELEBRATION. It's all up to you. Don't be a victim. Yes some shit sucks. When you see the gift that life is, all the "shit" is just kinda like... not a big deal.

Read this: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

It's a great perspective on 3-dimensional consciousness (spirituality is not the focus but how i describe it)

Also, smoke some DMT.

You'll find it's not better nor worse to be on or off the wheel of incarnation. You will experience all of life eventually as the Creator you are. You've just decided to act as a wonky human for now, just as the rest of your extended "family" (humanity) :-)

We are One

u/Oswamano · 2 pointsr/CasualConversation

Meditating and giving less fucks.

You can search up introductory meditation videos but here is one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPpUNAFHgxM

As for giving less fucks this book is pretty good: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

Cutting deep to the heart of the issue. Barring all the spiritual connotations, the core of meditation is getting your brain to calm down/shut up for a bit. If you can't stop thinking for even a second, meditation can help you chill out.

Giving less fucks is pretty much that. Worrying less, accepting that your mood can change, not wanting what you can't have, not worrying about what you can't control, it all ties into that.

Hope that helps :)

Also if you DM me I can probably hook you up with a pdf of the book I mentioned if you have a (throwaway) email

u/Roan_traveler · 2 pointsr/Advice

It sounds like you could really use what's in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

It's called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck". I think most type-A overachievers should read it. Give it a try -- you're not going to "win" at changing yourself without putting a little work into it, and a book, with lots of different ideas that will catch your mind and speak to you, is the best way to get started.

But right now, right this minute, I'd ask yourself what's underneath your desire to play. You're describing it as caring to win, but I bet a big part of it is terror at losing -- at losing something you value, feeling like a loser, feeling like you're losing control and power. That's okay -- we all want control and power. But that's not where you're going to get peace and happiness from. You will never, ever, ever have enough "winning" or success or money to calm that beast down -- if you keep feeding it, and not facing your fears of losing, it'll stay strong and you'll be stuck in it longer. You want to get into balance, and get some real happiness and peace -- that comes from presence in the moment, serving others, having strong friendships and relationships, getting out into the natural world, and having a few big goals in life that you're working towards. Gaming, and winning at games, can definitely be one of your big goals -- but it can't be everything. It can't subsume you, and it can't eat up the rest of life.

You're probably also afraid of sitting still -- when you sit still you have to deal with the concerns and anxieties that are percolating around in your head. Gaming, or anything else like it that eats up your mental energy, soothes you because it keeps you from dealing with all the things we need to deal with in life. But if you never sit still and deal with them, they stick around and sometimes get stronger, making you throw yourself even more into whatever you're using as a distraction (here, gaming). It's like a Chinese finger-trap -- the answer is counterintuitive. Try listening to a Tara Brach podcast, she's a clinical psychologist and meditator. Her podcasts are free, start with anything with "RAIN" in the title.

Basically, I think you just need to slow down and enjoy your life and accept that it's okay to "lose" sometimes. Trying to win all the time is a perfectionist trap and a distraction. Deal with what's going on underneath and it'll get easier, and then maybe get another hobby so your interests are stretched into a couple different places. A sport or something that takes you outside would be a great counterbalance (skating? running? Biking?).

Cheers, bud. You're going to be just fine! Good luck!

u/BlandstanderB · 2 pointsr/mentalhealth

You write a lot of daydreaming, fantasizing and what other people have vs what you don't have. Been there, still there, moving out of there. Live in your world, accept what you do have and stop trying to live up to someone else's expectation - even if you think it's yours, it's informed by someone else's. Once you shed the focus on others, you may find what you are good at and start building something for yourself.
I rarely like it when someone says check out this book, but check out this book: The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck

u/Likedisaster · 2 pointsr/AskMen

My immediate thought is that if you are self aware enough to recognize these tendencies then you should be mindful enough to stop that behavior. Also, that if you are involved with someone exhibiting that behavior and you speak with them about it, then find that they are not willing to think critically about themselves and how they act then no, you cannot change that person or fix the relationship. You only control yourself and your impact on the relationship.

A quick search brought me a few articles on how to heal codependant relationships. I think couples counseling would be the best approach. Learning to curb codependancy in yourself by building self confidence and strong personal boundaries when you are single so that you are able to recognize it in others when you are dating would be the best route.

I haven't read it yet, but I've seen this book Mindset: The New Psychology of Sucess recommended often to build self confidence and this book The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*uck has given me a good taste of what perspective to adopt when you're someone that allows other's wants and needs to come before your own.

u/AttractedToGravity · 2 pointsr/StopGaming

I was not depressed but I have severe social anxiety, the only thing that helped me is not giving a fuck. https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

u/omnommunster · 2 pointsr/FreeCompliments

You should check out https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S
It helped me sooo much. I have a lot of internal struggles but this book really helped to focus what I need to really worry about. My advice is to eat better, drink more H20, and give less fucks.

Start out by not calling yourself a loser. Most of us have a bad habit of that from time to time but take some effort to just stop the pattern. Your reality is what you make it.

u/IceCage42 · 2 pointsr/Random_Acts_Of_Amazon

You should check out this book

u/Plothunter · 2 pointsr/asktransgender

That's what I did. It's a healthy attitude. Also, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life

It's on my to read list.

u/lynx_and_nutmeg · 2 pointsr/AskMen

I used to be very big on "positive thinking" stuff, even to the very extremes like "Law of Attraction" and similar utter pseudoscience. Wishful thinking self-help books, etc, you get the idea.

I've read two books this year that have completely turned around my whole philosophy in life:

Mark Manson's "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*uck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life"

Oliver Burkeman's "The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can't Stand Positive Thinking"

I've read countless self-help books and 98% of them are more or less the same... But not these two. They compliment each other perfectly eve though written by different authors who don't know each other.

It's hard to explain, really. Basically, it's not that positive thinking itself is bad. It's the way most of us tend to see life itself and the meaning and goals of life. Most of us are taught to avoid pain and hardship and seek "happiness", which is usually defined as the same as pleasure. We're told that "bad emotions" are bad and we should avoid them as much as possible, while the ideal goal of life is to feel "happy" as much as possible. This approach is flawed and unrealistic in many ways. For one, this is actually putting a significant pressure on people to feel happy, especially those involved in this "positivity" movement. Oliver Burkeman included a great quote from someone, which I think sums this up perfectly:

> "The moment you ask yourself whether you're happy, you cease to be [happy]". The harder we try to chase happiness, the more unreachable it seems. The attitude of "not trying to be happy", aka the counterintuitive approach, is something both books explore, just in different ways. Manson's book goes a bit further to propose what I thought was an absolutely awesome theory on pain in life. Here's the quote that sums it up:

> “Everything worthwhile in life is won through surmounting the associated negative experience. Any attempt to escape the negative, to avoid it or quash it or silence it, only backfires. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. The avoidance of struggle is a struggle. The denial of failure is a failure. Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame. Pain is an inextricable thread in the fabric of life, and to tear it out is not only impossible, but destructive: attempting to tear it out unravels everything else with it. To try to avoid pain is to give too many fucks about pain. In contrast, if you’re able to not give a fuck about the pain, you become unstoppable."

You can't avoid pain in life, it's part of life. Constantly trying to run away from it or avoid it is itself a negative experience. But you can try and choose what kind of pain you want to experience in life, and that's a good way to determine what you want to do with your life. Most people advise to choose a job based on what you want to be doing, aka imagine the positives of that job. Manson advises to imagine the negative parts of that job and choose the job the negatives of which, aka the pains, you would mind the least, or could even enjoy, that's a much better predictor of how much you're going to like that job in the end. It's the same with problems in life in general - everybody thinks they want a problem-free life, but the truth is that if we stop having problems, then we just start inventing them, because we're naturally set on having some problems and challenges to solve, it's hardwired into us because in the past we certainly had lots of problems to solve, constantly. The idea is to choose what problems in life you want to solve.

Both books talk about failure a lot, how it sucks that failure has deemed to be unacceptable in society, and how useful it actually is - not just as a tool to learn from our mistakes, but there's a certain sort of beauty and power in failure, in the way that it shows us "naked", strips everything down to the bare bottom.

They also talk about death, and how constantly having death in the back of our minds is actually not depressing or unhealthy but a better way to live. Another great quote from Manson's book:

> death is the light by which the shadow of all of life’s meaning is measured.

Burkeman's book also has a chapter, it tells about his journey to a crime-ridden town in Mexico that has this interesting religion of Santa Muerte (kind of a version of Virgin Mary worship where she's portrayed as a "dead lady" and you give her offerings to protect you from death in dangerous situations, she's very popular with drug dealers and crime gangs but also regular people in poor towns and villages). That guy is pretty badass, he went to various places like a very poor slum in Nairobi and a town in Mexico that was considered so dangerous he couldn't even find a guide to show him the way, and tried a several day's long meditation retreat while having zero experience with meditation before. He's also met with one New Age guru and a couple who practiced Stoicism. Generally he went into it with a pretty skeptical attitude and while he didn't become zealous about Buddhism, Stoicism or any of those, according to him he still took a lot from it and that's how he's built this philosophy. A few other chapters also offer some interesting "counterintuitive" views and ideas, like how goal setting (or more like, being very goal-oriented) is harmful, or how too much positive thinking in the US made the society less safe, etc. Also has a great explanation of the concept of hedonic treadmill.

Manson's book also has some other great and interesting ideas, like how we shouldn't be so focused on being unique and exceptional because few of us really are, how to take responsibility for everything in your life (and explaining how it's different from believing that everything is your fault and constantly beating yourself up, which is not good) and avoiding victimhood mentality, how we shouldn't be so focused about always being right and just accept that we're wrong about a lot of things a lot of the time and this has benefits.

I don't think I explained it very well. It's kind of a mix of Buddhism, Stoicism, Memento Mori, "positive negativity/negative positivity?" (Burkeman's book had a term for it but I forgot) and, I'm not sure, some good ol' humility and accountability, etc. I really can't recommend those books enough. They literally made me see the world in a completely different perspective.

u/Potasssium · 2 pointsr/ADHD

Yup, completely in control or no control at all, no intermediate settings.

Reading the book, "The Subtle Art of not Giving a F" to help me with the not in control state.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

u/tylermax569 · 2 pointsr/booksuggestions

Not a joke, but you should read this

Subtle Art of Not Giving A F@#£

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

It's a fresh take on how you should approach things in life. Not the usual self-help book.

u/TheWeebQueen · 2 pointsr/casualiama

There's actually a book on it!

In general, you have to learn to accept yourself for whoever you want to be, regardless of what society thinks. No matter who you are and where you come from, you have every right to live the way you want. Fuck the people who don't support you, and find ones that do. I guess unless you're planning a murder, that's not cool.

Being honest, realizing that you are not responsible for how anyone feels, and not settings expectations help a ton. Put more good into the world my friend, fuck the people that are buttheads!

u/used2bgood · 2 pointsr/Wishlist

The book I just finished was a surprisingly genuine great read. I thought the title was going to be preface a fairly gimmicky content, but no such thing.

u/Captainsquiggle · 1 pointr/Rateme

If someone is going to judge you based solely on your eye lids .... I don’t think that is the kind of person you should care about impressing. You should buy this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

u/JonnyTooze · 1 pointr/science

There's a book called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" which pretty much says the same thing. It's OK to be not happy and don't knee jerk to get back a happy state. Great book.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1502744809&sr=8-1&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+fck

u/billiarddaddy · 1 pointr/AskMen

For me, my advice comes from my mistakes...

Idle hands really can be the devils workshop. Keep yourself busy. Find things that interest you and keep chipping away at your progress. Find something that you stay hungry about: guitar, sports, gym, reading, hiking ... something that's constructive, gets you around different kinds of people and doesn't give you too much time to think about things.

This is the long game. It's a grind.

Book recommendations:

  • He's Just Not Into You

    Don't let the title fool you. This book has a lot of wisdom for anyone powering through their insecurities in any relationship.

  • The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck

    The author isn't who you'd expect to be writing a self help book but this is a great way to have someone else talk about things that you might not be able to put into words for yourself.

    Keep a journal. Get your thoughts and feelings down. This is a great way to come back to how you feel or think about something with fresh eyes as well as some hindsight. Your self awareness and emotional intelligence are what will dictate your success in relationships and your career.

    You have to be able to be happy when you're single before you can be happy in a relationship.

    Same thing for love; you can't love anyone in a healthy relationship until you love yourself.

    Don't Panic. Drink more water. Skip soda. Get exercise.

    Good luck.
u/remembertosmilebot · 1 pointr/AdviceAnimals

Did you know Amazon will donate a portion of every purchase if you shop by going to smile.amazon.com instead? Over $50,000,000 has been raised for charity - all you need to do is change the URL!

Here are your smile-ified links:

https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=dp-kindle-redirect

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Never forget to smile again | ^^i'm ^^a ^^friendly bot

u/THE_FUZBALL · 1 pointr/DecidingToBeBetter

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" by Mark Manson makes some good points.

https://www.amazon.ca/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_88RBzb7SBNFRB

u/Thovarin · 1 pointr/infj

It has always depended on closure and who initiated it for me. If I made the decision, there's no waffling, worry (outside of whether or not I executed the breakup well), or preoccupation with it. If they made the decision, I want to understand why it happened so I can avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

Now, if I get ghosted or my ex is unwilling to discuss what happened, that is where the preoccupation occurs. With practice and effort, even that is manageable. Books like this (not an affiliate) helped me develop the necessary perspectives to move on gracefully with minimal pain.

The ultimate perspective for me after all available effort is put in and nothing seems to positively alter the relationship is, "If they don't want to be with me, that is self selection of a wrong partner. It's better to move on and find someone who is more suitable to my needs and interested in what I can bring to a relationship."

Best of luck on your relationship recovery. I hope it is quick and smooth, while offering insight into who you are and what you need from a partner.

u/mbrace256 · 1 pointr/stepparents

I came here to cautiously recommend therapy. My recommendation caused strain on our relationship. It turns out guys don't want you to send constant emails about every therapist within 20 miles who sees kids... If they go to therapy and you're privy to the info, read up on the diagnosis to see how you can help them thrive! I'd also spend less time parenting and more time reading up on step/parenting. Terrible twos often bleed into the threes. Reading was incredibly therapeutic for me.

Stepmonster - popular here, I'm a fan
Single Girl's Guide - never read, well reviewed
How To Talk So Kids Will Listen
The Whole-Brain Child
Subtle Art - best book ever

u/mediafeener · 1 pointr/LiveToWin

It doesn't look like I can update the URL in the original post, but if an admin can update it for me, you can use the straight URL. You have my permission.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S

u/HistoryNerd · 0 pointsr/photography

This may help put things in perspective about the expectations of others and how they affect us. Even just reading the intro might point you in another direction. I know how hard it is and even how easy it is to have a relapse. You just build tools to deal with it better over time but you have to start somewhere.

u/Asshole_from_Texas · -7 pointsr/AmItheAsshole

Yeah, you really need to get your shit together. I'm not saying to off yourself or anything but a step back to really take a look at what's important to you may have some real benefits on your outlook of life. You don't need to apologize or anything just try to "do you."

I used to be like you when I was in my teens. I was a little shithead concerned with everyone else. Best thing to remember is that everyone you hate is going to die someday. I'm 32 tomorrow and I still use this daily.

None of these people will matter to you in the following years. Nobody really matters, when you're there dying of whatever the fuck you die from, will these morons really matter if they cheated? Do the work, get the diploma get the fuck on with your life.

You'll be a lot happier if you be a bit less concerned with others actions because you can't control them and if you try again like you did in this little episode all its going to do is make your life harder.

I would strongly recomend the book, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson. It's $13 and it really helped me get out of a funk.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive-ebook/dp/B019MMUA8S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1538074836&sr=8-2&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f---