Reddit mentions: The best stories in verse books for children

Books my son has loved:

• "That Rabbit Belongs to Emily Brown". Queen Gloriana the Third tries every trick in the book to get her hands on Emily Brown's rabbit Stanley, but Emily Brown isn't giving her best friend away, not even for all the toys in the world. This is my son's favorite book ever. Great story, both main characters are female. The text is just right - a few challenging words/phrases which are repeated often, the rest easily understood by 3-4 yr olds. Illustrations are funny and awesome.
  
  
• "Falling for Rapunzel" - A fractured fairy tale (my favorite kind) in rhyme. The prince thinks Rapunzel needs his help and rides to her tower to rescue her, but she keeps mishearing his request to "let down her hair". Text is a bit challenging for 3-4 yr olds, and you might need to stop to explain the meanings of a few words, but my son loves the rhyme and LOLs a lot at the story. Nice illustrations too!
  
  
• "Where the Wild Things Are" - a classic, I'm sure you are familiar with it. When we read this book, I make sure the wild things are often "she". :)
  
  
• Several Dr. Seuss books, such as Green Eggs and Ham, and The Cat in the Hat. Some Dr. Seuss books are boring for my son, especially the ones with a LOT (just pages and pages) of nonsense words - entertaining for a bit but it's a chore to get through the book. We like the ones with a story. With Dr. Seuss, you need to be extra vigilant about gender of the characters, there are almost no female characters in his books. In our home when we read, I make the Cat in the Hat female :) all "she" where it says "he", and so on.
  
  
• any "Dora the Explorer" book. Great for characters of color. I highly recommend Dora in general, it's perfect for 3 yr olds. My son's outgrowing her now that he's 4, though, it's a bit too simple for him.
  
  
• recently we've added a bunch of nonfiction books about volcanoes, planets, dinosaurs, etc. When we read them there's always a discussion of stuff like "what's going to happen if we go to Pluto?" and so forth. Great time to inject diversity education: our astronauts are often disabled!

Great collection!
My son is 18 months old. I've been stashing some books for him but he has his own thing going. He's a busy baby. I'm still waiting on him to get the patience to sit through a Dr. Seuss book. Here is a list of books he will endure in their entirety. Yes, I've memorized most of these books.


One, Two, Buckle My Shoe. This is the first book my son seemed to love. It was able to hold his attention at an early age. He still loves it, even though it's missing a couple pages. It's a board book too.

Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed I read this one to him while he was in the womb. Once he was old enough it was one of his favorites. I lost it on an airplane a couple of months ago though.

Andy Warhol's Colors Wow, my 2 1/2 yr old niece also loves this book. It has nice illustrations and rhyming words.

Bright Baby First Words This is a set of 4 books. My son loves Colors and First Words the most at the moment… for some reason he likes to kiss the pink flower.

Night-Night, Baby! This is his favorite bedtime book at the moment. Strange because he didn't care for it as a small baby but it seems like that's who it's made for. It has simple black and white illustrations along with pictures of a baby, some fuzzy stuff and cut out stars.

Goodnight Moon Classic

Baby Animals I've also been reading this one to him since womb time however he's only now starting to pick it from the stack.

Dog and Friends Board Books This is a set he got for his 1st birthday. He LOVED these books to bits, especially Busy Day and On the Farm. They fell apart after much love/chewing. They seemed sort of stupid but he sure loved them. They were also convent to carry with in a purse because they're tiny.

Under The Sea This is the only touch and feel he ever liked very much.

Bunny Kisses What baby doesn't like kisses?

For your daughter, if you want to "fight" the heteronormativity and cisnormativity that she'll be exposed to, you can slip a couple story books on the shelf. Children aren't born prejudiced- they need to be molded into that by the people around them and by society. Heteronormativity means assuming everyone is straight (so think of how in every disney movie the princess always winds up with a prince, etc.) Casually reading a story book and making it just "not a big deal" will enforce in your daughter's head that we LGBT people are, well, not a big deal.

This one will be coming out in June and is about a trans teddy bear.

"And Tango Makes Three" is a famous story about two real life penguins.

"It's Okay to Be Different" talks about all sorts of differences.

Dr. Seuss's story about the "Sneetches" talks about differences and is a classic that is applicable to all sorts of prejudice.

And "The Different Dragon" has a main character with two moms.

I hope that helps- you sound like a great parent who wants your child to be accepting. Best to plant the seed now, while she's young, rather than waiting until she's older. Maybe if you plant the seed, she'll call out grandma for being "mean", which would be pretty satisfying, right?

Edit: if I had been read a story as a kid where it was ok for two women to fall in love, I probably wouldn't have repressed my bisexuality for over a decade. It's the subconscious/internalized/pervasive cultural stuff that really messes with our heads, and reading her picture books with characters of different colors, sexual orientations, etc. will help plant a seed to make her truly an accepting person deep down. Best of luck with your mother in law, by the way.

For younger kinds my absolute favorite picture book is Little Changes a brilliant but fun book by evolutionary biology Tiffany Taylor. This one was actually a hit with my 5-year-old daughter, and got us talking about evolution and what animals at the zoo were adapted to what things.

I also bought some of the other picture books that frequently get recommended around here, but they seem to miss the idea of being fun or engaging or having a story -- "I Wonder," for example had lovely, serene pictures, but the text was dull, and only had a girl acting as a very passive protagonist, mostly listening to her mother lecture about issue such as how we don't understand gravity. "Me & Dog" was a strained analogy at best and didn't seem to drive home its point well.

Dawkin's "Magic of Reality" is for older kids who are self-motivated enough to read a long science book, but is a brilliant gift for a tween. I got one of the fully illustrated ones and plan to share it with my daughter in 8 or 10 years.

I've never entered things like this, but it caught my eye and we could use the help! My 6 year old son is in first grade. I'm worried his learning has declined because he's behind with words and lacks true interest in reading! I think these books would help and be fun for him! I'm a single mama on a fixed disability income. Your gift will make a kid very happy! Thank you for doing this!

https://www.amazon.com/Big-Purple-Book-Beginner-Books/dp/0307975878/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1543125165&sr=8-6&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=Boys+reading+beginning+reader&dpPl=1&dpID=51AtAI9c0iL&ref=plSrch

>Wake up

>Immediately begin thinking about how to get my players to fry eggs

Scrambled Eggs Super! A classic Seuss book from my youth.

The narrator is a cheerful but egg obsessed foodie with apparently unlimited time and funds, who claims to be the best scrambled egg chef in the world. He launches a worldwide quest for exotic eggs to use as ingredients for the ultimate scrambled egg super. In the process he faces all manor of monstrous beasts, hazardous environments, and difficult challenges.

For the purposes of game hook, said foodie could either be hiring questors to fetch the ingredients instead of getting them personally, or challenging them personally to cook-off, or sponsoring a more general competition in whatever village the PC happen to be passing through.

As an aside, man, I wish I could find a big compendium of Seuss type creatures stated out to drop in here and there, maybe a whole setting. Sounds like it'd be a blast. Not that I could possibly do justice to the world play. Ah well - GM goals, amirite?

Thank you for this contest.

I'm not sure what your budget is, so I'll play on both? High and end lower end?

Adela - Kindle for kids?

Isla Leap pad?

And now for some lower end (But still great!)

Adela - Already reading, how about a Dr.Seuss box set? The Seuss!

Isla - AND AND AND, how about a Dr Seuss box set? Though a totally different one from her bigger sister, but still awesome, so she can mimic and get on the reading wagon too!


As you can see, I linked two of pretty much the same, but totally different items. I only have 1 kid, so I don't know the turmoil that some parents face. My sister has two boys, and one year I saw the jealousy go rampant. Then, my sister bought them similar, yet different items. The younger one liked having his own thing, but also enjoyed how similar it was so he could mimic in the shadows. He ended up learning a lot quicker like this.

Some parents don't have this turmoil though. I hope you don't!

Happy birthday, Kiddos!

Halloween is my birthday, so I've had a personal interest in knowing the answer to this and have researched it often.

In your title you are missing a step in the process of the current form of the word, Hallow-E'en. You are correct that the "n" comes from the word Evening. The contraction used is archaic now, but is commonly seen in older literary works and archaic usage. Other examples in this same light are never (ne'er), it is ('tis), it was, ('twas), etc.

The reason for the dropping of the hyphen first, and later the apostrophe, is a combination of ignorance and laziness. English language users favour simplification and employ contractions over time to two or more words into one. This is why like "dunno" from "I don't know" are easily understood and used frequently. This process has quickened with the more common use of technology and the ever-pressing need to be more efficient and faster at communicating coupled with laziness. The birth and popularization of textspeak is exactly this same phenomenon that helped evolve All Hallow's Evening into Halloween.

Additionally, within the last few decades, archaic contractions like 'Twas (It was) are seen in print without the apostrophe, like this bookcover, much more frequently. Will-of-the-wisp has evolved into many forms with or without the hyphens or the apostrophe replacing the "f" in of though "the" is entirely omitted now (will-o'-wisp, will-o-wisp, or will o' wisp) Very recently, I have even seen this phrase turned into willowisp as one straight word.

Hallow-E'en has taken the same path as this last example. All punctuation has disappeared. This is largely in part to people not understanding why it was there in the first place as each generation loses knowledge of the origin or purpose of the contraction. So as each Christmas poem is printed without the apostrophe, or Halloween without a hyphen or apostrophe, children learn not to use them in that way.

I hope that helps clear up your curiosity!

BOX O' BOOKS!

I've got an infant at home, and he gets REALLY into books when I read them to him all animatedly. I open my eyes WIDE and make funny voices, and these cardboard Dr. Seuss books are the best! This set would be wonderful, and they're reasonably priced.

Thanks for thinking of the book lovers in the world! I'm going to bring my son up loving reading.

In the vein of: Dr. Seuss's ABC An Amazing Alphabet Book


Big A, little a, what begins with A?

Anal beads in Andy

A....a....A


Big B, little b, what begins with B?

Ben-wa balls in Barbara

B....b...B


Big C....little c....what begins with C?

Charlie's cock cumming

C....c....C


Big D....little d....what begins with D?

Donkey dick or dinky dick,
matters little to me.

Big E..... little e....what begins with E?

Edward's cock extension,

E....e....E.


Big F, little f, what begins with F?

Flogging Fran's fanny,

F....f....F


Big G, little g, what begins with G?

Gerta's gushing g-spot

G...g....G

Big H, little h, what begins with H?

Heather's hot honey-pot,

H...h...H

Big I, little i, what begins with I?
Ingrid's inflatable dildo,
I...i...I

Big J, little j, what begins with J?

Jiggling jelly dildos,

J...j...J

Big K, little k, what begins with K?

Kristen's kick-ass kegels,

K...k..K

Big l, little L, what begins with L?

Liberal lubricant,

L....l....L


Big M, little m, what begins with M?\

Meagan's Magic Wand,

M...m...M

Big N, little n, what begins with N?

Naughty Nancy's Nipples

N...n...N

Big O, little o... what starts the O's?

Ollies O-ringed cock,

Ohhh... ohhhhh... ooooooohhhhhh!

Big P, little p, what begins with P?

Pussy, penis, and pegging

Please, please, please!

Big Q, little q... what begins with Q?

Quickies for the cuck-queens,

Q...q...Q.

Big R, little r, what begins with R?

Restraining Randi's Rabbit Vibe

R...r...R.

Big S...little s...what begins with S?

Super-super Sybian and spanking

Sssssssss .... essssss ... yes!!!

Big T, little t, what begins with T?

Tommy's titillating tale,

T...t...T.

Big U... little u, I'm a little blurred

Uncle, uncle, uncle!

That's my safe-word.

Big V, little v... what begins with V?

Victor's Vibrating Cock Ring

V...v..V

Big W, little w, what begins with W?

Wally's whipping Wendy

W...w...W

Big x, little x .... sex, sex, sex

and X-rated movies

X...x...X

Big Y, little y.... lets eat at the Y

Yummy yummy pussy

Y....y...Y

Big Z, little z, we're finally at the end

after all that sex

let's just sleep on the spend.

There have been a couple great posts on this topic lately; check out this one, this one and this one.

I don't think this needs to be a "when you're older" topic - skin comes in lots of different colors just like hair, eyes, etc. Of course this is something a child is going to notice and be curious about, especially if he hasn't been exposed to much racial diversity. A book like The Colors of Us or Who We Are!: All About Being the Same and Being Different might help you find appropriate ways to discuss those things with him. As for racism, that doesn't entirely need to be a "when you're older" topic either - the Dr. Seuss story The Sneetches is a fantastic age-appropriate introduction to the idea that some people choose to discriminate against others for superficial reasons like the way they look (in the case of the Sneetches, whether they have stars on their bellies), and how everyone loses out when that happens.

This is a great list of additional books and other resources dealing with race and racism: http://creativewithkids.com/resources-for-talking-to-kids-about-race-and-racism/ Never too early to start introducing more diversity into your son's awareness and encouraging acceptance of differences!

I wrote a book called “Mallory Brown at Super Fun Town” that he might enjoy. Look for it on amazon and reviews on GoodReads as well ! I’d love you both to check it out!

https://www.amazon.com/Mallory-Brown-Super-Fun-Town/dp/1684010187/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Amazing Machines by Tony Mitton and Ant Parker. My wife's aunt bought the box set for our first child and my boys have absolutely loved them. They're accurate, cleverly written and have bright easy to comprehend pictures.

I'm sure they would be just as suitable for a girl.

Just published a children's book! It is a rhyming, Seuss-inspired tale about good nutrition, girl power, and (for teachers/parents) a tool for promoting stronger vocabulary. Thanks to r/writing for your support and answers - especially about illustrating kids books. I couldn't have done it without you!

Here is the Amazon link:
https://www.amazon.com/Yucky-Ducky-Jason-Deehan/dp/1548434973/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499895070&sr=8-1&keywords=jason+deehan

Poorly worded question? Sure.

Math "as complex as a Rubik's cube"? No.

For any lower-elementary folk who want a fun way to teach the skill being assessed in the question in question, I highly recommend The Grapes of Math--it's got a lot of cute poems and illustrations that encourage kids to use different groupings to add more quickly.

I know it's technically a ballad, but when I was a kid I used to read "Casey at the Bat" over and over. The book had really goofy and detailed illustrations that made the story that much more memorable and dramatic. I've always loved that story.

Edit: this was that beautiful book

All awesome ideas thank you. Look at this book set I found on sale for $15! Maybe I will get this for a future gift:

The Little Blue Box of Bright and Early Board Books by Dr. Seuss https://www.amazon.ca/dp/030797586X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_6jKoDbDXEV9R6

i started my wishlist with books i want to share with my grandkids, expanded from there. i always wanted to read that Zen book. there are red, blue, and purple editions, love 'em all! and i know the nephews would be in awe of The Five Chinese Brothers !

fun contest!

This one has 4 and a half stars on Amazon. A little bit older, but it's a great classic. I think you will enjoy it.
http://www.amazon.com/product-reviews/0394800168/ref=acr_offerlistingpage_text?ie=UTF8&showViewpoints=1

I have a few alphabet books that associate letters to words, you know:

A: Apple, Acorn, Awesome

My kid likes A is for Awesome: http://www.amazon.com/A-Is-Awesome-Dallas-Clayton-ebook/dp/B00IO34SQC/ref=zg_bs_155120011_2

Also, no need to rush a three year old. It all comes together suddenly. Read to them nightly, play games with them.

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


amazon.co.uk

amazon.ca

amazon.com.au

amazon.in

amazon.com.mx

amazon.de

amazon.it

amazon.es

amazon.com.br

amazon.nl

amazon.co.jp

amazon.fr

Beep bloop. I'm a bot to convert Amazon ebook links to local Amazon sites.
I currently look here: amazon.com, amazon.co.uk, amazon.ca, amazon.com.au, amazon.in, amazon.com.mx, amazon.de, amazon.it, amazon.es, amazon.com.br, amazon.nl, amazon.co.jp, amazon.fr, if you would like your local version of Amazon adding please contact my creator.

Yeah, toddlers are 24-36 months old. If that's really the age group you're talking about, I recommend The Lorax. Seriously. If he's smart, you can hit the story from all sorts of angles: empathy for others, environmentalism, conservationism, equality of life, negative actions and negative consequences, the list goes on.

Sometimes the best defense is a strong offense. :)

The Sneeches and other tales. This was hands down my favorite book as a child. I loved the story of the pale green pants. It's a Dr. Suess book so it's fun to look at and to read. Probably not as long as the one you just finished, but it's good.

Amazing Machines: Truckload of Fun https://www.amazon.com/dp/0753461544/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_RPd-AbB3GMRVK

The whole set is only $17

Isn't this well plowed ground?

Born With a Bang: The Universe Tells Our Cosmic Story : Books 1, 2, 3

Here Comes Science CD + DVD

The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins

Bang! How We Came to Be by Michael Rubino.

Grandmother Fish: A Child's First Book of Evolution
Grandmother Fish, free in PDF form online

Little Changesby Tiffany Taylor
Teach your children about the wonders of evolution with this fun story, and get them asking questions about the world they live in.

"From Stardust to You: An Illustrated Guide to The Big Bang" by Luciano Reni

"Meet Bacteria!" by Rebecca Bielawski

Evolutionary Tales Paperback by Matt Cubberly

Coming up: TINY THINKERS is a series of books introducing popular scientists to children, by telling their stories as if the scientists themselves were kids!

GoFundMe : Tiny Thinkers

Ok, I searched for it but didn't find it: I had this one memorized when i was little and would "read" it along with my mom, Dr. Seuss' Alphabet Book.

"Big A, Little a. What begins with a?"

Edit: a link :)

This looks like a men that would appreciate Lady Pancake and Sir French Toast

https://www.amazon.com/Lady-Pancake-Sir-French-Toast/dp/1454914041/ref=sr_1_1?crid=18UPDLZX8QX7B&keywords=lady+pancake+and+sir+french+toast&qid=1565187896&s=gateway&sprefix=lady+pan%2Caps%2C567&sr=8-1

The King's Chessboard - Exponents

Math Curse - Word Problems.

Grandfather Tang - Tangrams.

The Grapes of Math - Number sense and multiplication. This author has lots of others as well.

The M&M Math Book - Counting, shapes, early number sense.

How much is a million? - Complex numbers. I think there's a sequel out too.

Sir Cumference and the First Round Table - Geometry. There is an entire Sir Cumference series.

So many more, but those are off the top of my head. Follow the Amazon links and click through related books. You'll find a ton.

Dr. Seuss put it best in The Lorax

http://www.amazon.com/Lorax-Classic-Seuss-Dr/dp/0394823370

There are not monsters under your bed is kind of poorly written.

Also love: https://www.amazon.com/Little-Changes-Tiffany-Taylor/dp/1482559986

This made me realize how reading-oriented elementary schools...or maybe were when I was in school! If we finished something early, we were expected to have a book to read. Why not have a math binder to pull out if kids are done early? Anyway, got me thinking that maybe there are some math-oriented books (as in, not workbooks, but story books) out there that could interest your kiddo with some different math concepts. Here's some stuff I found (apologies for the ridiculously long links--also, I didn't look too closely at grade levels, so some may be for a few years down the road, or for you and him to read together):

Edgar Allan Poe's Pie: https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=BVtKBx-i4JgC&source=productsearch&utm_source=HA_Desktop_US&utm_medium=SEM&utm_campaign=PLA&pcampaignid=MKTAD0930BO1&gclid=CNGTu7vn5tQCFcTYMgodOiMETA&gclsrc=ds&dclid=CLzhyrvn5tQCFUI4TwodifYMVA

Marvelous Math: https://www.amazon.com/Marvelous-Math-Poems-Aladdin-Picture/dp/0689844425/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EM0RCMS3HQB5S8D0WWM2

Math Curse (by Jon Scieszka, one of my favorites!): https://www.amazon.com/Math-Curse-Jon-Scieszka/dp/0670861944/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EM0RCMS3HQB5S8D0WWM2

The Grapes of Math (this author has a series of math books): https://www.amazon.com/Grapes-Math-Greg-Tang/dp/0439598400/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EM0RCMS3HQB5S8D0WWM2

Sir Cumference (this one's a series): https://www.amazon.com/Sir-Cumference-Dragon-Math-Adventure/dp/1570911649/ref=pd_bxgy_14_img_2?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1570911649&pd_rd_r=EM0RCMS3HQB5S8D0WWM2&pd_rd_w=9UJOK&pd_rd_wg=1NeuV&psc=1&refRID=EM0RCMS3HQB5S8D0WWM2

Here are some other good books not included in the Bible.

https://www.amazon.com/Bible-Unearthed-Archaeologys-Vision-Ancient/dp/0684869136/ref=nodl_

https://www.amazon.com/How-Jesus-Became-God-Exaltation/dp/0061778192/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_nodl?crid=9RMC18R4FOG4&keywords=misquoting+jesus+by+bart+ehrman&qid=1554250427&s=gateway&sprefix=bart+ehrman&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Greatest-Show-Earth-Evidence-Evolution/dp/1416594795/ref=mp_s_a_1_3_nodl?crid=35QQAVAV7QDZC&keywords=richard+dawkins&qid=1554250354&s=gateway&sprefix=richard+dawkins&sr=8-3

https://www.amazon.com/God-Delusion-Richard-Dawkins-ebook/dp/B003JTHWJQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_nodl?crid=35QQAVAV7QDZC&keywords=richard+dawkins&qid=1554250354&s=gateway&sprefix=richard+dawkins&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Foundation-Isaac-Asimov-ebook/dp/B000FC1PWA/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=12RC9CDG804CS&keywords=isaac+asimov&qid=1554250561&s=gateway&sprefix=isaac+asimov&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Gone-Girl-Gillian-Flynn/dp/0307588378/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?crid=3CFDSBUJ5BQBR&keywords=gone+girl&qid=1554250625&s=gateway&sprefix=gone+giel&sr=8-2

https://www.amazon.com/Green-Eggs-Ham-Dr-Seuss/dp/0394800168/ref=nodl_

Maybe this one will be better for you. ;)

Cuties!

Also, https://smile.amazon.com/Lady-Pancake-Sir-French-Toast/dp/1454914041/

Rags to Riches v.18; the WSB view of timing the Markets

Dr Seuss once wrote a book called, "The Sneetches", it applies.

Sorry, bud.

here you go

relevant

Oh, I thought you were referencing Green Eggs and Ham.

Scrambled Eggs Super by Dr Seuss and The Little Mouse, the Red Ripe Strawberry, and the Big Hungry Bear by Don Wood.

It's based off of a doctor sus book

http://www.amazon.com/The-Lorax-Classic-Seuss-Dr/dp/0394823370/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1346077914&sr=8-1&keywords=lorax+book

You've never read Green Eggs And Ham. It's a Dr. Seuss book. You should check it out.

A classic for my daughter.

I didn't realize there was a new one.

Speed edit: I am talking about this book, apparently there is a movie now? idk probably a filthy capitalist money making scheme, this is the one I am talking about.

1. Trans people are more likely to be suicidal
   
   
2. Trans people are more likely to be murdered
   
   
3. Trans people are more likely to be homeless
   
   
4. White people are less likely to be randomly screened at airports
   
   
5. White people are less likely to get tickets at traffic stops
   
   
6. White people are more likely to be found innocent at trial
   
   I don't even fucking know where to begin with you. Here's a book, learn how to read.

I'm not calling you fat. I'm saying this is your self image and this is a book you would benefit a great deal from.

If you want me to stop marginalizing you and explain why I think you're such a douchebag:
> Try using a f*ing car maybe. Or walking. Or taking public transportation. Biking in a city is dangerous

I own a car. I started the discussion by pointing this out. I've spent probably 100 hours on public transportation. Also, biking in a city is not inherently dangerous, that is, if there were no cars it would be super safe. Now, cars are safe around cars. Bikes are safe around bikes. We could yell at each other that one or the other doesn't belong in a city: "hey faggot, get a job and buy a car." or "fuck your hummer you Nazi I hope you die in a fire." But I like riding a bike and since it's a reasonable thing to do i'm not going to stop. You like driving your car. So now we can discuss the advantages and disadvantages to both and try to come up with the safest and most efficient compromise.

Explanation of why you're a douchebag continued:
> People who can't afford cars are obviously not very smart. If they were, they could get a job.

This really is unrelated to how bikes should be treated in cities, but it's worth noting that I used to live in Chicago and some people are, for all practical purposes, too poor to afford a car. Telling them to "get a job" is not helpful, but it is something a douchebag would do.

edit** http://www.streetfilms.org/bike-vs-car-vs-transit/