Reddit mentions of Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong

I used to be this way until my grandmother had a heart attack involving my parents who were giving me false information in acquiring a 2nd opinion for her and then the initial relative doctor shouting MI is MI in front of her when I tried to get her to sign the form for her 2nd opinion.

This sent me on a 4 year long (this counts as the 4th year I guess) world of torture involving the mental health system where I could no longer be alone.

What helped in many of those years? Being alone. Every element from binge watching to studying about communication to even posting on social media became this bridge for me to temporarily find hope whenever I got sent out of a ward until I got sent back in there again a year later.

Then I got out. Then I got sent in.

As with most things in life, it's not what you feel - it's what you learn when the day comes that you need to act on those things you might not have found valuable or useful enough in a non-emergency situation.

One thing many hikis don't know is that socializing isn't about not being hurt. It's about networking as you said.

But it's not about networking like people sell you where you have to be in this dog-eat-dog world of lying and then connect with someone meaningful. It's about forming meaningful relationships.

Meaningful relationships that aren't about understanding each other but understanding how you want to understand others and choosing who you want to be with and trading your time with someone you like for someone you love.

You just have to keep exposing yourself to information regardless of whether you become a hiki or you don't, or you become one and then you stop becoming one for some reason.

Remember Paul Erdos found his choice not because he was smart, but because he had acquired information on how to make a meaningful decision in times of pain.

Because of this, he formed relationships with people even though it probably hurt that people didn't saw him as this normal guy to hang out with.

Clue:

http://www.zhipingyou.com/qqsh/index.php?topic=266.0

"There was a storm with thunder and lightening. Little Paul Erdos was in
bed, frightened and fretting and his mother couldn't calm him. Then, as
mothers seem to instinctively do, she found the right words. "It's all
right dear", she said, stroking his shiny head, "there's always a prime
between n and 2n".

After that, little Paul drifted off into a blissful sleep."

Lesson learned in urgency:

On one occasion, Erdos met a mathematician and asked him where he was
from. "Vancouver," the mathematician replied. "Oh, then you must know my
good friend Elliot Mendelson," Erdös said.

The reply was "I AM your good friend Elliot Mendelson."

There are many stories like this around the world, it's how you apply these stories in your life. Like Paul Erdos was introduced to me because of this book:

https://www.amazon.com/Barking-Wrong-Tree-Surprising-Everything/dp/0062416049

https://www.amazon.com/Barking-Wrong-Tree-Surprising-Everything/dp/0062416049/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=7VVXAWNB2M8WP1R84JKQ

and

https://www.amazon.com/Everybody-Lies-Internet-About-Really/dp/0062390856

https://www.amazon.com/Barking-Wrong-Tree-Surprising-Everything/dp/0062416049/?tag=spacforrent-20

I asked my library to e-order it rubs hands together in excitement

Listen, it was a joke, and you didn't think it was funny, I'm sorry. I do not think you should be arrested. I hope you do not get arrested. I hope you figure this out as it will improve your life tremendously.

Other posters validated that it's unkind for someone to ignore your text for days and I agree. But your reactions to non-responses, late responses or anything that could be considered a brush off is way over the top. And judging from your responses to other comments, you seem to be aware of your issues, and I think that's really cool because there is no improvement without self-awareness.

I'm a woman, and I haven't dealt with feelings of anger over (what I perceived to be) lazy or inconsiderate communication, but I have felt bad about it at some points. Mostly, I've been on the receiving end of (what I think is) excessive texting. Browse this sub long enough and there are tons of conversations about navigating communication in early dating.

I noticed in other comments that you seemed open to advice, so if I'd okay, I'd like to offer some (consider it an olive branch for my FBI comment.) I read back into your post history and I see that you're into Stoicism, which is cool and will help you a lot. My favorite form of therapy (I'm of the mind that everyone could use some therapy) is DBT. It's straightforward, skills-based and useful in the real world. I think you'd like the concept of its utilitarianism. It actually has a lot of similarities with Stoicism! Reddit thread in /r/Stoicism about it, actually- specifically radical acceptance.

DBT has a principle called "radical acceptance" that is directly in line with a lot of Stoic principles. I would seriously suggest you check out the concept online or buy a book or two. There are DBT books specifically for Anger Management, but anything on emotional regulation will do.

This book is neither on stoicism or DBT (or Buddhism), but I like it a lot regardless. The author has a good website too and cites from other sources. The author has a website too, in case you don't feel like ordering self-help books on Amazon like 👀some of us👀 Maybe read points 3 and 4 and sit on that. Here's a tl;dr of the philosophy I'm suggesting, I think points 3-5 would directly benefit you. Another, Tara Brach, author/PHD psychologist who is a practicing Buddhist has a bunch of books radical acceptance/Buddhism/mindfulness but I do think you'll find them more female-oriented. I would stick with Eric Barker (mentioned above) and maybe Alain de Botton if you jive with Barker's ideas.

I'm sure this wasn't the response you were expecting, but I do hope you manage to deal with these feelings. Always happy to talk about these ideas further.