OYS #54

37 yo, 6’0, 164lbs, 9.0% BF, married 4, together 7, kids 3 & 13

Gym:

I puked 1.5 times this week lifting 4x. Changed workouts 2 weeks ago and this one is kicking my ass. Good. The 0.5 puke was because I swallowed it back down. Doing a 2 month bulk. I’ve been eating clean as hell for a year and the results show – but at this point I just need more food in me.

I helped my wife get her workout together and teach her barbell work. It was a lot of fun, actually. She can’t even squat the bar so I had to get a training bar for her. We all had to start somewhere. I’m happy that after hearing 6 months of complaining about her body while I would always keep an open invitation to the gym she finally committed. But at 6’0 and 118# she has a long way to go. This really makes me very happy, but we will see. I praise and praise, no critical words from me here on her weakness. TWOTSM talks about this – praise the things you want the most even if they aren’t exactly praiseworthy.

Work

I’m expecting a few offers this week or early next. I have a plan on how to work them all and planned for all the variables by writing down my plan. I had been searching myself for a while of “What do you want in your next job role?” and finally decided. I want excitement with an energetic good business mentor to match my own energy levels that will allow me to be grow.

Reading

Continuing reading 48LOP to increase my knowledge on manipulation (external and internal) within the workplace. I’ve been too transparent with my thoughts in the past which have been a detriment. STFU is good in the workplace too at times.

Social

Went to blacksmithing class with /u/redranger207 this weekend, then grabbed some lunch afterward. We made decorative wall hooks. I think I’ll go back during open shop hours and make one of these.

Mental / Relationship:

I had some personal major breakthroughs mentally this week.

• I create hardship for myself unnecessarily to provide my ego a sense of self-worth. (this was the dragon I was searching for – an internal dragon)
  
• I externally (instead of internally) project future success to hold myself accountable to a higher standard rather than just living my already awesome life. Do I usually succeed? Yes. Is that projection necessary? No. This ties into the first point because if I project externally it then provides my ego a sense of hardship to achieve success.
  
• I understand the meaning of “how does she fit into your life” that we talk about so much here.
  
  The first two points are pretty self-explanatory. The third I somehow realized after stumbling into this amazing response by /u/Red-Curious to an MRPer years ago who got everything he wanted from his wife but then chose to spin plates and was left with a similar mindset to my own. I haven’t spun plates, I could, and was contemplating it again because I have found sex with my wife somewhat dissatisfying the last few weeks. I can do anything I want to her, it’s not super exciting. She is enthusiastically ready and willing to do it all. That drove my libido down and then I started to question why I even had her in my life.
  
  It really hit me hard. I had made my marriage all about sex and intimacy. Sure – I think she’s a good human being, but what made her unique enough for me to choose to spend my life with her? It surely isn’t the sex. I know that now. And with enough training I could do that with any woman now. So, why her?
  
  Well, this is my wife. There are many like her, but this one is mine.
  
  I began to understand that I could use my wife who is more than willing to further my mission. It’s not a partnership, but I have a damn good FO. She aims to please, and by pleasing me she gets great joy in her life. I need to put her to work with her talents to further our awesome life together so that we can both live a happy, fulfilling life with purpose and mission.
  
  Just a few examples I've jotted down:
  
  
• She loves to bake. Right now, there are 5 pies ready for the preschool teachers. Why haven’t I asked her to make cookies or stuff for the office before? She’s done it once and people raved about them for months, including some higher ups I never had the chance to talk to before. They remembered fucking cookies.
  
• My wife stands out in a crowd at 6’0 and looks like a model, and enjoys dressing very classy – combine that with her southern charm…. Why haven’t I used this at social gatherings for work or my personal mission? I’ve seen her do this before and she is always elated to be arm-candy.
  
• Men are naturally attracted to her. Why haven’t I taught her how to use this manipulative power to further my mission when she is ready, willing and able to support that mission? She used to do this to get us free drinks at bars with ease. Why not more than that?
  
• Women are drawn to her femininity. She loves to compliment fashion on other women and get them talking about themselves while remaining extremely humble. I’ve seen it at parties and it’s a weird talent. Her feminine energy radiates a room. Why haven’t I used this before?
  
  Lots of work to do here in leadership. What I do know is that my FO can add real value to my life in areas that I simply cannot do. I can’t bake. I can’t catch eyes of men. I can’t put on a sweet southern charm. I know shit about fashion and frankly don’t give a shit about women’s fashion. But, what if I could use all these talents and skills that she has crafted from her own life experience to help further our own lives together?
  
  So. This is my wife. There are many like her, but this one is mine. I feel stupid that it’s taken me this long to realize that she’s more than just a sex toy and intimacy tool. I’ve been clouded for a year in this anger mindset and it was necessary until now, but at this point I see value that I’ve been missing. There is raw untapped potential there that is begging to be freed.
  
  Just like I was before I found MRP. I had so much potential but I wasn’t using it.
  
  Could I find a similar value with another woman that could help further my mission and quality of life? Sure. But, I’ve got this one for now. It’s time to put her to work. Plus, you know, I do love my wife dearly. She is my greatest creation and through my inaction and ego I have done nothing great with her when she is a capable person yearning for leadership and wants to please me and get great joy from that.
  
  Guys - my life is awesome. There is so much untapped potential! There are so many more gifts to come. I’m going to start with my leadership all over again.
  
  Strength, motherfuckers.