Reddit mentions of Cherries and Cherry Pits

Wow. Just went back and read the original post. That's some story. Glad you got to the bottom of it. (Gotta say, you are one fabulous aunt!)

It's great that your sister is addressing your niece's sense of self by having her be around more kids who look like her. But I'm guessing it'll take more than a long talk to undo what your brother-in-law's family set in motion. (I hate to say it, but ... Arizona.)

It sounds like, along with their racist attitudes and a sense that this is an okay way to think and behave, your niece internalized a kind of ethnocentrism that suggests a goodness-badness continuum, where lighter people are on one end, and darker folks on the other. Restoring her sense of self-worth about her own skin color and beauty might require a full-on challenge of this idea. In other words, being around other Asian kids is important but may not be enough; she might also need counter-examples against black and latino stereotypes.

Fortunately, there are plenty of awesome picture storybooks for her age group featuring black, brown, and asian kids and families that will simply humanize all types of folks, and humanizing is the best way to challenge your bro-in-law's family's dehumanizing ideas. (I mean seriously--brown people act like monkeys and steal money?)

Off the top of my head, here are some books we read to our daughter:

• Sol A Sol: Original and Selected Bilingual Poems by Lori Marie Carlson
  
  
• From the Bellybutton of the Moon and Other Summer Poems by Francisco X. Alarcon and Maya Christina Gonzalez
  
  
• Peek: A Thai Hide & Seek by Minfong Ho and Holly Meade
  
  
• Hush: A Thai Lullaby by Minfong Ho and Holly Meade
  
  
• Cherries & Cherry Pits by Vera Williams
  
  
• The Honest-to-Goodness Truth by Patricia C. McKissack & Giselle Potter
  
  
• and of course, a few classics: The Snowy Day and Whistle for Willie by Ezra Jack Keats and Corduroy by Don Freeman
  
  Lastly, your bro-in-law's soft-pedal response really is no help. Sounds like he has no idea how much he sucks. He's got a brown kid; he needs to stand in her shoes, even if it means standing up his family, and facing down his own messed-up beliefs. Dude needs to man up. He's got an opportunity here; I hope he takes it.
  
  TL;DR: You're an awesome aunt.