Reddit mentions of Healing Together: A Couple's Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-traumatic Stress

Feelings:

As a friend/partner/family member, your feelings are valid. The truth is, Dissociative Identity Disorder carries a lot of misinformation and social stigma. So, if you recently discovered your loved one has DID, you may be going through a lot of feelings right now based on negative perceptions of the diagnosis. Your feelings are still valid and you will need to monitor them and create your own safe space to process them.

Shock

As you begin to understand DID with your loved on, you are going to realize s/he has been through significant trauma. The impact of the trauma is going to play out in your relationship. This is because childhood abuse often involves a violation of trust, and as you build a trusting relationship with one another, some of the effects of trauma will begin to show. The best thing to do here is support the person with DID, encourage them to seek/continue therapy, because it takes a long time for victims of trauma to learn how to live in healthy relationships.

Because the nature of DID is also secretive, you may be in shock that your loved one has multiple identities.

Some other little idiosyncrasies about your loved one may suddenly start to make sense: his/her forgetfulness, moodiness, and general unpredictability.

Denial

It is not recommended to deny the existence of your loved one's parts (or alters). To do so would reinforce something this person is struggling with: their reality is not real and they are simply "crazy." It's going to be difficult, but it is so important to do your best not to ignore parts' existences. The best thing to do is respond, support, and learn more about your loved one.

Your loved one is not "the sick one"

Just because your loved one may have parts/alters, does not mean s/he is the source of the problems in your relationship. If your relationship has problems, it is more likely due to difficulty communicating or a lack of honesty. Remember, we all bring our own baggage to relationships and we must work on ourselves first and foremost to make a relationship work.

You can't fix everything

Your loved one is going to have ups and down, good day and bad days. Your responsibility is to be supportive, loving, communicative, and kind. It is absolutely okay to try and understand what your loved one is going through, but it is not your responsibility to change it. If your loved one needs more support than you can provide, you may assist him/her find a qualified therapist.

Here are resources that you may find interesting:

• What is a Dissociative Disorder?
  
  
• My -Spouse, Sibling, Coworker, etc.- has a dissociative disorder.
  
  
• I am Dating a Person with a Dissociative Disorder. What do I need to know?
  
  
• The Effects of DID on Children of Trauma Survivors
  
  
• Parents as Partners
  
  
• The Significant Other's Guide to Dissociative Identity Disorder
  
  
• HELP! My friend has multiple personalities! How can I help?
  
  
• Healing Together: A Couple's Guide to Coping with Trauma and Post-Traumatic Stress