Reddit mentions of It Ain't Necessarily So: The Dream of the Human Genome and Other Illusions

Yeah, this is a safe space and all, and I think I get what you are trying to say, but I have to agree with other replies. Be careful who you talk about this too, as you do sound like a jackass. Can't say whether that impression is justified without meeting you, but I'm going to assume not. :)

So, if it helps, by the measures you chose I am in your intelligence range. Like other here, I was in a gifted kids program, sent to special extra educational events and courses, the standard stuff. Professionally you'd be impressed by my education and work experience, and I've ended up trading quips with various luminaries. So what does all that mean with regards to my IQ or my personal relationships - absolutely fuck all.

First, you are choosing IQ as a measure, but it is an incredibly abstract one. Its also one with a shady history of extreme selection bias and misuse. I think this book has a good overview of it in a chapter. Fundamentally, IQ demonstrates your ability to provide the expected answers for that particular test, and (at least for me) remains an unreliable indicator of intelligence in a broader sense. Even if you decide you think it is a good measure, it measures one sort of intelligence, and one that may correlate with academic success but doesn't necessarily correlate with being an original thinker, interesting to talk to or interested in the world.

So lets try and get to what I think you mean, stripped of the arbitrary units. You want to talk to interesting people. Is that right? If so then i think you need to reassess your view of interesting. An example, one fo my best friends is a carpenter. He has a fairly mediocre degree and not stellar grades, but he's a smart and fascinating guy. He is that because he has a thirst for knowledge, new ideas and systems. He knows much less than me about, say, the Greco-Persian wars or the conformation of transmembrane glycoproteins, but it really doesn't matter If I have something interesting to talk about he can and does pick up the essentials really quickly, and comes back with intelligent questions and insights. Is he as academically qualified than me - for sure. Is he less smart than me, I really don't think so. Equally I have a friend working at a very high level in an international organisations, one fo the smartest women I know. She has studiously avoided all news outlets for a decade at least.I;d try and talk to her about curent affairs and watch the disinterest flow over her face. She;s more interested in talking about the Eurovision song context. By your measure she's in the fraction of a percent you'd accept.

If you can only find engagement with people you can trade quips in Latin with, then I think you've missed out a lot. I also think you've yet to be struck by the between-the-eyes, spine-tingling type love for someone. When you are, it is quite possible that person will be entirely unlike you in every way but you won't be able to help yourself. I've seen it happen plenty of times, and I've seen it work out more than people who choose 'suitable mates' in the way you seem to be describing. Luckily, love and other emotions are what shifts a depressing numbers game to a more achievable, and ultimately satisfying, experience.

If someone doesn't interest you and you don't feel it, for sure don't get into a relationship with them. But to measure them against an arbitrary yardstick before you even consider them, thats just going to end with you miserable and alone. Even with the Japanese girl, it sounds like you were settling before you even started. Being with someone with an IQ under 120 doesn't mean settling, it just means considering alternates paths to the endpoint of a partner you can be happy with. And happy, thats the goal in the end, nto trophy wife (whether in smarts or looks).

Same for your kids, do you want smart kids of successful and happy ones. Smarts alone are not any guarantee of health, happiness or success. Once you have kids I would hope would want happiness for them more than just a high IQ score to brag about. Ans lastly, the heritability of IQ is not conclusively demonstrated, at least the genetic heritability. Intelligence of all sorts seems as connected to the social environment, support and aspirations of parents for their children as much as parental IQ. Biological determinism is misguided.