Reddit mentions of Overcoming Anger: When anger helps and when it hurts (Overcoming Common Problems)

It doesn't actually happen like that - when I'm snappy, I'm not snappy at him (something I've been working on for years, I get aggressive sometimes and to cope with it in a way that I thought wouldn't offend him was sorts yap out at other things. Sometimes get a tighter tone when necessary with him - but I always strove to never snap at him. Nevertheless, he found it really distressing - he's very shy and reserved, which is why I try not to let my stronger personality overwhelm his - I've also read up a lot on introversion to try to help me understand how to be a better communicator with him... but I have a very innately aggro family (Italian by birth, and we live up to the stereotype), it's habitual and it doesn't stress anyone in my family home - but my family aren't the people I want to make my own home with, of course.

The blame certainly does not rest on him - he's been telling me this makes him uncomfortable for some time. I've not done enough to fix it, and his compassion for my stress stopped him from telling me how unhappy he was until the last minute =( I've bought a book called 'Over Coming Anger' to help me now.

My apathy on this is to blame here - I couldn't understand if I wasn't directing it at him, how it was hurting him and my ignorance became a wrongful excuse =(