#326 in Parenting & relationship books
Use arrows to jump to the previous/next product
Reddit mentions of Polyamory and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide
Sentiment score: 1
Reddit mentions: 4
We found 4 Reddit mentions of Polyamory and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide. Here are the top ones.
Buying options
View on Amazon.comor
Specs:
Release date | January 2016 |
You might want to check out the following resources:
https://www.amazon.com/Jealousy-Workbook-Exercises-Insights-Relationships/dp/0937609633
https://www.amazon.com/JEALOUSY-SURVIVAL-GUIDE-secure-relationship-ebook/dp/B075ZN3YCC/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1519216854&sr=1-1&keywords=the+jealousy+survival+guide
https://www.amazon.com/Polyamory-Jealousy-More-Essentials-Guide-ebook/dp/B01E0L4DAM/ref=pd_sim_351_1?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=J1F12H2VHG1SFKSCKVTS
Also, it's possible that in the long run you are just not suited to polyamory. I'd recommend giving it 6-12 months and working on it, but if you're still miserable in a year then I think you should cut your losses and find someone mono. I'd recommend this article: http://www.polyamorousmisanthrope.com/2008/01/07/you-dont-have-to-do-it/
If you look at meta as added value for your partner, something that simply increases his happiness, and know it's nothing against relationship between you both - you should be fine :). Both of you are in that happy position that you mutually care about each other, respect your freedom, and don't try to enforce or forbid anything. In my opinion it's absolutely wonderful way to love another person, so... just enjoy what you have :).
If you're looking for a good quick read specifically about jealousy, there's an excerpt from More Than Two separately published as Polyamory and Jealousy - quick read, 30 pages, definitively worth looking at. But I'd recommend getting MTT, too - it covers wide range of mechanics and situations you might encounter when being close more than 1 partner. You can find useful tips about building healthy hierarchical relationships there, too.
Reading your post, the situation that you described feels immensely similar with I felt when me(M) and my SO(F) begun exploring the idea of nonmonogamy.
For me was (and sometimes continues to be) difficult letting go some societal norms that us, men, are biased to believe that are true. I'm a kind of protective guy, and was troubled by the possibility of other guy not respect her — or treat her well — like I do. But as u/twinkleztar put, in different manner, we need to work towards understand your autonomy and agency to choose and protect yourself. I don't know if you let him participate in the process of choosing your partners could help — I don't participate and don't like this approach, but this is for my specific case, for example.
Another issue that troubled me had more relation with my insecurities and self-esteem — and for us various of these issues are reflected by how we are seen by other men, or how our sense of 'masculine' was built. Again, many gender norms predates how we see ourselves and how we relate with women in general.
When my SO revealed that she was interested in some colleague of her, and fucking him, whereas we already 'did the nonmonogamy talk', I felt emasculated and, for some extent, being in a second plane. Society tells that, for us, when 'our girls' fucks other guy, we are in some form a 'inferior' man. But we reached a point where both of us desired, after all, that was the time to happen, and she went and fuck her colleague. Was difficult, there were problems and was a rolle coaster of emotions for me, but we grew stronger after this.
I find useful, as a man, to work towards strengthen my self-esteem, confidence, and nurture a more healthy vision of masculinity that not is based in preconceived notions of property of other body or 'soul', and to guarantee the free agency of my SO.
Finally, some resources I find useful (besides some of already cited in this thread):
Opening Up: A Guide To Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships
Is extremely useful for both of you design what kind of deals could work for you
Polyamory and Jealousy: A More Than Two Essentials Guide
Specific for jealousy, offers valuable tools for dealing with it
The Jealousy Workbook: Exercises and Insights for Managing Open Relationships
Another precious resource
Playing Fair: A Guide to Nonmonogamy for Men into Women
This is specific for men dealing with diverse situations in nonmonogamy
> Franklin Veaux also has The Jealousy Workbook
Is this the book you are talking about?
https://smile.amazon.com/Polyamory-Jealousy-More-Essentials-Guide-ebook/dp/B01E0L4DAM?ie=UTF8&ref_=asap_bc