Reddit mentions of Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child

I felt this way and could never do any child imagery work in therapy cos I had such intense hatred for my inner child. The following book helped me a lot;

https://www.amazon.com/Reconciliation-Healing-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/dp/1935209647

Reconciling with your inner child. These days I don’t hate her anymore and I’m not as far in as saying I love and am kind to her all the time but things have definitely improved, together with schema therapy.

what bugs me about your situation is this: if you grew up as a buddhist, I guess it is because your parents raised you that way. Are your parents buddhist themselves? Do you have any way to show them your post and all our comments?

My advice would be this one: do not try hard not to feel hate (nor any other emotion). The fact you feel something ugly doesn't mean that you don't love your parents. You can sit in meditation and aknowlege the very natural feelings and emotions (seeing them and recognizing the signs of them in your own body) as a means of giving all those emotions a way out and afterwards, letting go of them. You are even allowed to have arguments and be a little rough (you can be a "difficult" son as they are difficult parents if you try to let go of the guilty feeling about causing a conflict). I know, because of your writing style (I recognize it in my own from when I was your age), that you won't never be very "rough". In parents-children relationship of your kind, the neglected child can feel the paradox of feeling guilty about their parents when in conflict with them. This kind of parents hardwire your brain since you are a very young being with those feelings and fears.

Anyway, you seem very wise for your age. Try not to get very mad at them and still be compasionate about them, but at the same time mark your territory and stand up for yourself. I now it is difficult. When I confronted my parents and learned not to have it all over my shoulders, all of us felt better. Your parents will change automatically if you change yourself and your stance about/against/with them. There will be some trouble at first, but in the end they will change spiritually too. A good / puryfing fight with their children seems to be an obvious step in their karma-path.

A good reading could be this one: http://www.amazon.com/Reconciliation-Healing-Thich-Nhat-Hanh/dp/1935209647

Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing your Inner Child

How to Survive Your Childhood Now That You're an Adult

The Inner Child Workbook

Affirmations for the Inner Child

Reconciliation: Healing the Inner Child

Inner Bonding: Becoming a Loving Adult to your Inner Child