Reddit mentions of Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault

Don't let anyone talk you out of feeling the way you do. Unfortunately no one without direct experience of a similar situation or significant professional experience in counseling cases like yours is going to have all of the answers that you need.

However, I would strongly recommend seeking counseling before getting involved in any serious relationship and reading through Rid of My Disgrace as a starting place.

You don't have to wait until marriage to start working through the grief/healing.

EDIT: And sorry. That's the truth. So sorry.

The word "biblical counseling" is really really ambiguous and going to differ from group to group (or counselor to counselor). I'm a big advocate of applying the truths of the gospel to the soul and mind, but I think ultimately "counseling" requires many different tools for different situations, some biblical (strictly speaking), some medical, some psychological, some spiritual (of the Spirit and of your spirit), some relational, etc. It's extremely important, but ought to be ensured that it's done well.

Our elders and deacons have counseling and care ministries and everyone is trained in many ways, such as with Redemption, Voice of the Heart, Rid of my Disgrace, and Instruments in the Redeemer's Hands, among many other resources. Even with this, they will often bring in certified pyschologists, counselors, sexual therapists, marriage counselors, etc as ways of handling situations. So I don't think it's like one school of many and it's exclusive to the others. The human soul has many facets.

I have minimal knowledge in the area so I don't want to give any advice. I thought that maybe Dr. Schaumburg's counseling ministry or the resources produced by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb would be helpful to the couple:

Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg - Stone Gate Resources - Biblical Intensive Counseling

http://stonegateresources.org/

https://www.challies.com/sponsored/biblical-intensive-counseling/

https://www.amazon.com/Undefiled-Redemption-Sexual-Restoration-Relationships/dp/0802460690/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1505873656&sr=8-1&keywords=undefiled

Justin and Lindsey Holcomb

https://www.challies.com/book-reviews/rid-of-my-disgrace/

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1433515989/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=justholc-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=1433515989

Read this: Rid of my Disgrace.

@jetjetjet-

The fact that you want to forgive speaks volumes into the Holy Spirit's working in your life. My prayer is that you know the Lord is with you in this time.

I would highly encourge you to read Rid of My Disgrace by Justin & Lindsey Holcolmb. I read as much as I can of Justin's and he is an absolute champion for the grace of God. PM me if you can't afford to buy the book - I'll get it for you. I believe it can be that healing.

As a member of that forum for years, /r/NoFap has become a cesspool. It was actually mentioned a few times recently in /r/askmen about "places you unsubbed because it changed for the worse" thread. /r/pornfree is much better, if you change your mind and want to stop

If you do have faith, I recommend reading God Loves Sex and Rid of my Disgrace. If you are willing to read them, but are not able to buy or borrow them, please sent me a private message. (that goes to anyone reading this comment, from now until indefinitely/forever)

So profoundly sad. There is so much abuse and pain behind these pictures. Here is the answer