Reddit mentions of The Heart of Addiction: A New Approach to Understanding and Managing Alcoholism and Other Addictive Behaviors

http://www.amazon.com/Mindful-Recovery-Spiritual-Healing-Addiction/dp/0471442615

http://www.amazon.com/Realm-Hungry-Ghosts-Encounters-Addiction/dp/155643880X

http://www.amazon.com/Heart-Addiction-Understanding-Alcoholism-Addictive/dp/0060958030/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1373397028&sr=1-2&keywords=lance+dodes

http://www.amazon.com/Drinking-Love-Story-Caroline-Knapp/dp/0385315546 Her recovery is 12-step based, but this is really a memoir, not a guidebook

I've read both of your posts and it's clear that you want the right thing for both yourself and your husband.

If I, or any of the other addicts here, had a magic phrase that you could tell your husband which would fix him, we'd all be cured. There's no easy, "this is what you should do" post.

For your husband: I suggest reading two books, neither of which are directly about porn addiction, but both of which were instrumental in my deciding to pursue recovery:

1. "The Heart of Addiction" by Lance Dodes. https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Addiction-Understanding-Alcoholism-Addictive/dp/0060958030/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1488222927&sr=8-1&keywords=the+heart+of+addiction
   
2. 'I Don't Want to Talk About IT: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression' by Terrence Real. https://www.amazon.com/Dont-Want-Talk-About-Overcoming/dp/0684835398/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1488222949&sr=8-1&keywords=i+don%27t+want+to+talk+about+it+terrence+real
   
   For you:
   
   If you aren't in therapy, get in therapy, the sooner the better. You cannot fix your husband; the sooner you figure that out and find a way to articulate what you need, better. You may think it's 100% his problem. That may be correct, but you've been damaged by it. You can't fix him; you may be able to help him when he's had enough, but your number one job is to make sure you remain an intact and functioning person.