Reddit mentions of The Modern Gentleman: A Guide to Essential Manners, Savvy and Vice

I am an Industrial/Manufacturing engineer and I do some PLC coding (G/M code for CNC) and talking about metal machining with people isn't exactly an exciting topic. So I see your pain.

A lot that you say are bad assumptions. 30vanquish is correct when saying:
>That's a bad assumption. Be passionate about the stuff you do because it makes you look certain and confident in your own life

What I have learned is life is about stories. The better/funnier/epic/quirkier your stories are and the more you're developed as a storyteller the more people will be attracted to you. Learn to be value-added to people and social situations. You might be thinking being value added to their life only makes them better. No, make people see that your value addition makes their life great, and that without you in their life, it isn't fun.

When hanging with people, learn the balance of when to speak up and when to not. A lot of times you can be too intelligent for the group, if you find yourself talking about random context or "Did You Know?" shit a lot, quit that out. Because that's a buzz-kill sometimes. Personally, I only bring up topics I truly enjoy if someone leads me to do that. Otherwise, I assume people don't want to hear about simulation, cnc, six-sigma, electrical system and the other.

Also consider how you portray yourself:

stance

walk

build

dress

eye contact

projection/clarity of voice

All of these searches (not specifically these sites) should help significantly. Honestly with that in mind, you may want to start with something like Toastmasters to get you thinking on your feet about topics. This will develop different synapses and will allow for quick-thinking on a social status level.

Possibly, read the the following to develop an understanding of being value added to relationships and quick-witted in conversation:

Insults Every Man Should Know

Jokes Every Man Should Know

The Modern Gentleman

Now, everything in these books aren't written in stone. Don't just go and cut/copy/paste/cite when you go hang out socially. I only provided these titles for you and others to read, so you can develop yourself. Everything is about becoming your own peacock, so you come off (do not appear, because when you appear, then your X-factor is not intrinsically within) smooth, suave and natural.

I would also say to try and pickup an action sport like boxing, kickboxing, etc. Not for the ability to kick anyone and mostly everyone's ass, but so you can get your testosterone flowing/grooving and to become confident in a more socially accepted hobby. It also would help in the fact that if you fake like you hurt yourself, you can casually bring up that you were in a sparring match. This would make guys interested in your skill and girls begin to coddle you for safety (you have just become value-added).


TL;DR: just go to the damn hyperlinks and you'll be able to figure out what i was saying.

I think you need to read this book.