Reddit mentions of The Way of a Pilgrim and the Pilgrim Continues His Way

I hope I am not too late.

You can post this to /r/suicidewatch.

Here is my half-baked attempt at providing you with some answers.

First of all let's see, what is the problem? Money and women. This sounds rather stereotypical but it became a stereotype because a lot of people had this kind of problems. So if you are bad at money and at women, join the club, everybody sucks at this.

Now, there are a few strategies of coping with this. I can tell you what worked for me and perhaps that will help you too.

I guess if there is only one thing that I would change in your attitude that would improve anything is learning the fact that "there is more where that came from". This is really important in girl problems and in money problems.

When you are speaking with a girl, I noticed that early on, men tend to start being very submissive and immature in a way. They start to offer her all the decision power because they are afraid not to lose her. This is a somehow normal response but it affects the relationship negatively. She sees you as lacking power and confidence and she shall grow cold. So here lies the strange balance between good and bad: you have to be powerful but also warm and magnanimous. You can only do this by experimenting without fearing the results of your actions. Even if the worst comes to happen, and she breaks up with you .... you'll always get a better option. There are 3.5 billion ladies on the planet. The statistics are skewed in your favor.

Now for the money issue. Again, there is more where that came from. The money, are a relatively recent invention. Our society is built upon them but we survived for 3 million years without them. The thing you need to learn is that your survival isn't directly related to money. You can always get food, shelter and a lot of other stuff for free. You won't live the good life, but you won't die. So why the anxiety then?

Question: It seems to me you are talking out of your ass. How do I put into practice this in order to get a girlfriend?

Answer: Talk to people. Male and female. Make the following your goals:
Talk to 1 girl each day for one month.
Meet a few friends each 3 days.
Make a new friend each two weeks.
Post your romantic encounters in /r/seduction.
This activities will add up after some time and you will have enough social skill to attract a female. You will understand what your female friend is thinking. Don't feel too bad if it doesn't work out.

Question: The above doesn't give a lot of practical advice on getting money. I want more of that. How do I get it?

Answer: To give you money people need to care about you. People only care about you when you care about them. This is why you need to do the following:
Start solving hard problems.
Start helping people.
Problems aren't only school problems. They refer to anything: start learning a new difficult subject (for example start learning physics or start playing an instrument or start writing a novel). Take up a really difficult project that is just above the verge of what you think you are able to do. Helping people is something more difficult and personal. You can work for charity, help your family members around the house and other similar.

Question: I don't understand. I have problems and you are asking me to work for charity, donate money? How can giving money solve anything?

Answer: If you don't give, how can you receive? Helping others is instilling a sense of purpose in a very strange way. You become superior to others by helping them in a dispassionate way.

Question: I feel like I am going to cry, you are making fun of me!
Answer: Not entirely untrue. But this is not the problem. The problem is that you are taking yourself too serious. We all are, and I have similar problems. The true mark of a person of genius is to laugh at himself. Cultivate your sense of humor in any manner you can.

Question: What does it matter then if I choose to kill myself?

Answer: There is this really good anecdote about Thales of Miletus (search wiki). He was preaching that there is no difference between life and death. His friends asked him: If there is no difference, why don't you kill yourself. At this, he instantly answered: I don't kill myself because there is no difference.

Question: Even if I would like to change and do the things you want me to do, human nature is faulty. It is certain that I would have relapses. How do I snap out of it?

Answer: There are five habits that you should instill that will keep bad emotions away. Either of this habits has its own benefits and drawbacks:

1. Mental contemplation. This has various forms, but two are the best well know: prayer and meditation. At the beginning stage they are quite different, but later they begin to be the same. You will become aware that there are things greater than you are. This will take some of the pressure off of your shoulders.
   
2. Physical exercise. Build up your physical strength and you will build up your mental strength.
   
3. Meet with friends. If you don't have friends, find them.
   
4. Work. This wil give you a sense of purpose. Help somebody else. This is what I am doing here. We are all together on this journey. Even though we can't be nice with everyone, we need to at least do our best in this direction.
   
5. Entertainment. Read a book. Play a game. Watch a movie. Sometimes our brain needs a break. If not, it will take a break anyway and it will not be a pretty one. Without regular breaks, procrastination will occur.
   
   Question: Your post seems somewhat interesting but more in an intriguing kind of way. I would like to know more.
   
   Answer: There are a few good books on these subjects. I don't expect you to read all of them, but consider them at least.
   
   For general mental change over I recommend this:
   http://www.amazon.com/Learned-Optimism-Change-Your-Mind/dp/1400078393/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324795853&sr=8-1
   
   http://www.amazon.com/Generous-Man-Helping-Others-Sexiest/dp/1560257288
   
   For girl issues I recommend the following book. This will open up a whole bag of worms and you will have an entire literature to pick from. This is not going to be easy. Remember though, difficult is good for you.
   http://www.amazon.com/GAME-UNDERCOVER-SOCIETY-PICK-UP-ARTISTS/dp/1841957518/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324795664&sr=8-1 (lately it is popular to dish this book for a number of reasons. Read it and decide for yourself. There is a lot of truth in it)
   
   Regarding money problem, the first thing is to learn to solve problems. The following is the best in my opinion
   http://www.amazon.com/How-Solve-Mathematical-Princeton-Science/dp/069111966X
   The second thing about money is to understand why our culture seems wrong and you don't seem to have enough. This will make you a bit more comfortable when you don't have money.
   http://www.amazon.com/Story-B-Daniel-Quinn/dp/0553379011/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1324795746&sr=8-3 (this one has a prequel called Ishmael. which people usually like better. This one is more to my liking.)
   
   For mental contemplation there are two recommendations:
   http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe.html . This one is for meditation purposes.
   http://www.amazon.com/Way-Pilgrim-Continues-His/dp/0060630175 . This one is if you want to learn how to pray. I am an orthodox Christian and this is what worked for me. I cannot recommend things I didn't try.
   
   For exercising I found bodyweight exercising to be one of the best for me. I will recommend only from this area. Of course, you can take up weights or whatever.
   http://www.amazon.com/Convict-Conditioning-Weakness-Survival-Strength/dp/0938045768/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324795875&sr=8-1 (this is what I use and I am rather happy with it. A lot of people recommend this one instead: http://www.rosstraining.com/nevergymless.html )
   
   Regarding friends, the following is the best bang for your bucks:
   http://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/1439167346/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1324796461&sr=8-1 (again, lots of criticism, but lots of praise too)
   
   The rest of the points are addressed in the above books. I haven't given any book on financial advices. Once you know how to solve problems and use google and try to help people money will start coming, don't worry.
   
   I hope this post helps you, even though it is a bit long and cynical.
   
   Merry Christmas!

>I never make time to experience God.

At some point, you begin to see that God is all you have been experiencing. Just answer the question "Who is the I that I experience?" (Matt 16:15)

It is truly a remarkable path.

"Putting on the mind of Christ" (Jim Marion) was eye-opening for me in relation to the depths available but in a more modern framework.

I should also mention "The way of a pilgrim" and Lawrence Richardson's eBook "A Christian mystic's intimate journey with the Holy Spirit"

Great post btw. Unearthed a lot of new names for me!! TVM