Reddit mentions of The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

Hey man, I just want to let you know that I got my son into therapy and it's been amazing for the both of us.

I deployed when he was 15 months old and was pretty much gone nonstop until he was 3. (I was FDNF) His dad was the primary caregiver during those two years (that's a nice way of saying my son wouldn't let me hold him because he didn't know who I was) and, well, now it's my turn on shore duty and my husband's turn to deploy....oh, and Dad deployed within weeks of us moving to a different country for our new orders. Our son is four and a half now.

Having his whole world change followed by his primary parent just disappear rocked his little world. He wasn't eating, he was throwing up for no reason, he wouldn't play, he stopped engaging in his athletics, he would take a blanket and stuffed animal and crawl into a small space next to the couch and say "I just need some alone time."

It devastated me.

I don't know how severe the emotional/psychological unrest is that your daughter has, but I will tell you that after just a few weeks with the psych my son did a 180 turnaround. Therapy is amazing, and kids are super resilient.

If you get a chance, I really recommend the book The Whole Brain Child by D. Siegel.. There are workbooks, too.

Have you had your daughter evaluated for EMFP? That could help you get orders that would benefit/support her.

I just want to tell you that you can be a single parent in the Navy and even be a single parent on sea duty. It takes a huge support network, but it can be done. I don't know what your rate is, but could you look at some non-traditional "sea duties" like maybe being attached to a squadron? Have you considered cross rating to something like LN?

If you really want to stay Navy, and don't think you have a viable family care plan or won't be able to give your daughter the support she needs, you could look at FTS or reserves. They can both deploy though.

The Navy ends eventually, though, and family is forever.

EDIT: Also, do the math. A lot of people think "oh, you're gonna get the check for the rest of your life!" but they don't realize it's half of their base pay. Assuming you make it to Chief, that's only $2,338/month before taxes. That's not enough for most people to live on, once you calculate mortgage, utilities, insurance, car, etc. So even though you'll be collecting that check, you'll still (likely) need to get a job post-Navy. edit2: this only applies for the high3 retirement program, all you young bucks who were able to switch to the new blended program, obviously this isn't for you.

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