Reddit mentions of You Do You: How to Be Who You Are and Use What You've Got to Get What You Want (A No F*cks Given Guide Book 3)

Hey,


Yeah, that's the green-eyed monster talking. :) Don't worry, not judging you! It's what makes you human! We all suffer some jealousy because that's what happens when we notice others around us. Feelings are just that, feelings. You don't control how you feel.

What matters is how you deal with them.

A good trick is to question how you feel. And question your assumptions.

> They're so effortlessly perfect.

Is that so? Sure that they wake up like that every single morning? You sure it's effortless? I bet each of them spends some time in front of the mirror, doubting their own looks.

You only see them shine, but you're not living 24/7 in their skin. They are confronted with their own appearance constantly. Just like you. And that warps your entire view of how you look at yourself. You can't run away from yourself, right? And even when you are told you're beautiful, you might feel complimented, but also feel weird about it. Because that's not how you feel. And this is also true for them.

It's not because they look like the part, that they entirely 100% feel like that too. On the contrary. You just don't know what they really think about themselves. Because you only share your insecurities with someone you really trust.

> But no one will ever choose an ugly girl over a pretty girl. And most girls are wayy prettier than me.

Most guys sooner or later discover this truth: character is just as important as appearance. Why? Because you can look very pretty, and still not be the right match for the next 5 guys you meet. Chances are you have different life goals, different beliefs, interests, political and philosophical views, interests, personality traits,... And most of those are big dealbreakers.

Many guys make the mistake of going for a "pretty girl" only to the discover that they just don't match. Many romances just don't lead to long lasting stable relationships.

Many pretty girls have to deal with rejection, break ups and resentment too. Their appearance doesn't exempt them from all these.

Oh, and the "pretty girl" look, only lasts so long. Don't get me wrong, I'm not implying that women become "ugly" as the age, far from it. What I mean is that people change as they age, and this includes their appearance. And it's something each of us will be confronted with, and has to deal with through life. That's something you can learn. Some are better then others, and they aren't necessarily the "pretty girls".

> If a guy ever talks to me, I always feel like he just wants an easy hookup or something so I rudely end the conversation.

See above. :) Well, it's good to err on the safe side. If you don't feel comfortable, you're right about keeping a distance. It means they aren't the type of person for you anyway.

> It hurts me and it probably hurts them but I can't stop thinking about how they probably find me ugly.

Okay. Here's another truth: you're not responsible for how other people deal with their emotions. If guys hit on you, they made that choice, and this means that they also choose to face and deal with possible rejection.

Don't feel bad about rejecting someone you're not comfortable with. Far worst would be to allow them to indulge in their own desires, wants and feelings at your expense!

If they consider you ugly (Remember, very big if! You don't have telepathy! You can't read minds!) well, that's their problem. The value of your very own existence isn't measured by the validation someone else gives you. It's something you have to attribute from within yourself.

Who you are, what you do, how you choose to live, who you like,... all those things should come from within yourself. You do you! And this is important. Lead your own life, don't let anyone lead it for you. And this includes choosing who you let into your life.

Best of luck!