Best products from r/AskNYC

I'm going to expand on this comment because I've read the book and I think the gender ratio is HUGELY important when discussing this topic. Here's a link to it.

> According to 2012 population estimates from the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey, there are 5.5 college-educated women in the U.S, between the ages of 22 and 29 versus 4.1 million such men. In other words, the dating pool for college graduates in their twenties really does have 33 percent more women than men - or four women for every three men. Among college grads age 30 to 39, there are 7.4 million women versus 6.0 million men, which is five women for every four men. These lopsided gender ratios may add up to sexual nirvana for heterosexual men, but for heterosexual women - especially those who put a high priority on getting married and having children in wedlock - they represent a demographic time bomb.

The book goes into more detail with almost an entire chapter on Manhattan itself, as the much larger gay and lesbian population in NYC skews the ratio even more than the national average.

> Gates's analysis helps explain why the Manhattan dating market feels so much tougher on heterosexual women than the raw population count implies. If 11 percent of the under-40 male population is gay and 1.5 percent of the under-40 female population is lesbian, that means Manhattan's man deficit among heterosexual, marriage-age, college grads is not smaller than the national average, but larger.

> Much larger.

> Subtract the estimated gay and lesbian population from Manhattan's total population count, and you wind up with a hetero dating pool with 39 percent more college-educated women than men age 22 to 29 - not 26 percent more. For the youngest college grads, the math is even gloomier ... For college grads age 22 to 29, removing the gay and lesbian population from the numbers pushes the over supply of women relative to men up from 39 percent to 54 percent - the equivalent of three women for every two men. And even these adjusted numbers may be too low, as gay men are more likely to be college educated than straight men, according to Gates.

Having such a ratio also changes the behavior of men in the city, making them less likely to settle down. There were studies on fish where they introduced more females than males to a population, and conversely more males than females. You can probably guess the results.

> Consider the behavior of pond cichlids, a species of fish that is typically momogamous during mating season. When zoologiest experimented with altering sex ratios in a controlled population of cichlids, even small manipulations had profound impacts on the male cichlids' likelihood of staying committed to their female mates.
>
> Increasing the ratio of male cichlids to females from 6:6 to 7:5 cut the male desertion rate in half - from 22 percent to 11 percent. It also rendered females choosier about males and made the successful male suitors more protective of their families. The end result was a kind of underwater patriarchy - one in which male cichlids fought each other for access to mates, jealously guarded their females after mating, and then, after the fry were born, made greater investments in parenting (be it through direct parenting effort or via the providing of resources such as food or protection)
>
> Some of these behavior patterns are surely quite familiar to anyone who has spent time in nightclubs, dive bars, or other spots where single men and women routinely socialize. Like the male cichlids, men get reflexively more protective of "their" women when more men enter the physical space.
>
> A more surprising finding from the animal studies involved what happened when sex ratios were manipulated to make the females more plentiful. Fro the cichlids, a decrease in male-to-female sex ratios from 6:6 to 5:7 yielded a hugely disproportionate behavioral response. Male desertion rates more than doubled - from 22 percent to 51 percent. In other words, a seemingly small shift in the female share of the cichlid population transformed the prevailing mating culture from one of monogamy to one of polygyny, which is males mating with multiple females but females mating with only one male. "Males increasingly deserted their mates and the young in their care as the opportunity to re-mate increased in their environment," wrote Mart Gross, a University of Toronto zoology professor, in an article published in 2005.
>
> Presumably male cichlids do no act this way out of piscine malice or misogyny. They do it because it is biologically rational. A goal for males of all species is to pass along their genes to the next generation. When sex ratios are balanced or are lopsided in favor of more males, males have a strong genetic incentive to stick with their original mates and to actively participate in the care and protection of young. When females are more abundant, however, the mating game shifts in favor of the male having multiple broods. Even if one or more broods are abandoned by the male and left vulnerable to predators, the male cichlid is still likely to produce more offspring overall. In such an environment, male reproductive strategies tend to emphasize mating effort at the expense of parenting effort, simply because the value of monogamy declines as the ratio of males to females declines. In nature, when females are plentiful, natural selection favors those males that mate with more than one female.

I could cite the book all day but seriously, go read it. There are other cities that don't have as much of a gender disparity and where you'll have a statistically better chance of finding a boyfriend (like the bay area for example). I mean who knows, maybe you'll get lucky here?

...maybe.

ok. It took a bit but I understand. You really threw me off with the welding & 3d printing.

Pictures would still be useful as not all pipes are created equal.

You have 9" of copper pipe exiting the tub basin. Is it bare pipe or is it threaded? is there a coupling? what is the diameter?

does it look more like A,B,C,D https://sportbig.com/plumbing-diagram/bathtub-faucet-plumbing-diagram/attachment/add-a-shower-and-hand-shower-diverter-tub-spout-kits-for-bathtub-faucet-plumbing-diagram/

Depending on the internal diameter of the original spout could you cut the pipe back & add back the 3" later? You have a lot of choices here for couplers threaded/compression/solder

your best bet is to find a 9" spout with hand shower.

your second best option is to get permission & leave a 6" spout when you leave.

your third best option is to cut back 3" & add it back before you leave

your fourth best option is to use the 6" spout, an escutcheon & to fill the remaining gap with sugru or https://smile.amazon.com/InstaMorph-Moldable-Plastic-6-oz/dp/B004MFLU4Y/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1536268311&sr=8-3&keywords=thermo+plastic

​

it will of course be ugly.

​

​

What is your particular interest? I can offer you some general suggestions, but if you are interested in a certain era or neighborhood or person I can point you in that direction too.

For a succinct history going up until the 2000s, look to The Restless City. If you are more interested in power politics of the 20th Century, The Power Broker is the definitive source (boo Robert Moses). Ladies and Gentlemen, the Bronx is Burning is a great look at the city in 1977, a tumultuous time both politically and socially.

Much of the history of the city after the mid-19th Century centers around the development of railroads, elevated trains and the subway system. 722 Miles and A Century of Subways are both excellent books about the growth and evolution of the transit network. I picked up Grand Central: How a Train Station Transformed America for the 100th Anniversary of the Terminal, and it was an informative and lively read.

There's a great book you might find helpful or at least amusing: NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette


It's by a local NYC artist and offers some funny and helpful tips on moving to New York... also could make a fun gift for your fiancée when she joins you. Good luck!


Edit: updated to fiancée, not girlfriend

The second best thing to therapy is self-therapy workbooks. CBT and DBT are both used for a variety of issues with a great deal of success. These workbooks are cheap, they're easy to follow, they are surprisingly very effective, and you have nothing to lose. You can take all the time you need by dedicating a little time each day to read and do the activities in the books.

FYI: DBT in particular has been noted for being more successful than traditional therapy in at least one study for suicidal tendencies.

I had this same issue a few years ago. We figured it came from the hallway and into the bottom of the door. They offered exterminators but they only did it once.

So my solution after trying everything out was as simple as placing glue traps EVERYWHERE. Gluetraps are safe, they don’t harm pets, no chemical warfare into your kitchen, and easy to dispose.

What you do is place them where you’ve seen some of them hanging out. Put some in the cabinets too. They particularly like being in spice cabinets or where there’s consistent moisture like under the sink or by the sink. I also layer them flat around the walls.

It’s also worth noting that when you get a few trapped, you need to keep em there for just a short while longer because it invites the others. Once the majority of the surface has been covered then fold them (if not) and step on it to kill them and dispose it

This set from amazon is a 75 bulk set. That should be enough.

Catchmaster 75M Bulk Mouse and Insect Glue Boards, 75-Pack https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005IMZ9TC/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_vZwvDbDX9AZNE

You should also consider getting a draft stopper. This stops airflow from coming through the bottom of the door but it also helps keep the bugs out. This helps tremendously especially when you have a large gap between the door and the floor.

Door Draft Stopper - High Performance Silicone Door Sweep w VHB Adhesive 3M Strip | Draft Blocker for Under Door Seal Gap Interior & Exterior Doors Weather Stripping Soundproof | Draft Guard Insulator https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DMSPWGS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_u5wvDbGFM5YG4

Once you’ve finally handle the situation, you should try chalking your floor. Look for colored chalk like brown or beige to match your floor. Amazon sells these cheap but you may be able to find them even cheaper at small hardware stores or even Home Depot.

I was able to get rid of every single one of the roaches in one month.

Good luck.

Alternately, I have one of these which I snagged for half off when Gracious Home was going out of business. It works pretty well & is like a glorified salad spinner. I don’t think you could put more than a pair of jeans & a shirt in there, though, so perhaps that other one will be better for you.

What a noble endeavor!

I agree about Sean Casey Animal Rescue https://www.nyanimalrescue.org/

If you want to learn more about their work, there's a documentary on Amazon Prime called Rescue! Brooklyn: https://www.amazon.com/Rescue-Brooklyn-Various/dp/B074QVZD3R

I had a great experience getting my kitten from the ASPCA, but I unfortunately learned that they spend 20% of their revenue on advertising, and do not support local SPCAs financially.

Everything that goes to Sean Casey Animal Rescue goes into expanding the number of high-risk animals that they can help.

Brooklyn Brainery has some interesting walking tours when the weather is better. I've only done one walking tour through them so far (Crimes in NYC) but the guide was incredibly knowledgeable and the tour was interesting. I recommend all their classes, really. There are also plenty of books with guides to tours, I recently bought myself a City Walks book and while I haven't taken myself on any of the trips yet, it's a good starting point for ideas.

I couldn't be happier with the Coway 1512. Now when I wake up I can breathe with both nostrils! The lowest speed is basically silent unless your head is 1 foot from the device. I leave it on auto which is cool because it senses particles in the air and temporarily goes to higher speeds until the air is clear again. Funnily enough, if you fart near it, it will detect that and spin up. It also pretty thoroughly eliminates odor in general.

My only complaints are:

1. The only 3rd party filter I've found for it has bad reviews so you're generally stuck with the first party filters which can seem expensive but they last a long time so it's not terrible
   
   
2. When I moved across the country, the fan became unbalanced which made the device loud. Personally I blame the movers since they broke/lost a bunch of my stuff but that still does indicate a failure mode of the device.
   
   
3. The light on the top is a fucking flood light that will blind people up to 5 miles away. I taped over it.
   
   
   If I had a magic wand and could make one change to this device I'd want washable hepa filters but from what I've read, washable hepa filters don't exist at all so its not a shortcoming of this specific device.
   
   Finally, I'm not affiliated with them and benefit in no way from this post. The Amazon link above is not an affiliate link. I'm just a happy customer who was surprised by the improvement in my life when I got a hepa filter.

This isn't an answer to your question, but is a possible solution. Also, I'm definitely not saying that your it's ok for your neighbors to have a rooster. I'm also not saying that you shouldn't report your neighbor (IE It's totally fine to report your neighbor).


But, for the time being, wear earplugs when you go to bed on friday / saturday nights....


https://www.amazon.com/3M-1100-Foam-Plugs-200-Pair/dp/B008MVYL7C

The Timbuk2 Spire is my favorite under 100 bucks backpack:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00M480ON4

In all black, it's not too bad, though may not be your style.

If you can triple your budget, my favorite backpack is the Staad from Waterfield: https://www.sfbags.com/products/staad-laptop-backpack

It fits your aesthetics and is amazing.

If you get one of these. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005FD7Z82/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1469896410&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=The+Laundry+POD&dpPl=1&dpID=31valjx5fVL&ref=plSrch



When you wash, a little color safe bleach and a heavy scoop of borax. And after washing, rinse, rinse, rinse (most important part). Then use something like this. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B002QSXK60/ref=mp_s_a_1_6?ie=UTF8&qid=1469896618&sr=8-6&pi=AC_SX205_SY296_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=clothing+wringer&dpPl=1&dpID=21YceYbYTnL&ref=plSrch

You can't hand-wring shirts-it fucks up their sizing and fit.

Rinse again and wring again. Straighten shirt to minimize wrinkles. Hang on line (fire escape) to dry.

Your shirts will last a decade looking brand new.

Shure Shure SE215-K Sound Isolating Earphones with Single Dynamic MicroDriver are great!

I also have a pair of Sony Studio MDR700's which are my favorite (albeit a bit bulky).

For wireless I have the S2CDW Skullcandy bluetooth sports buds.

This book is indispensable to transplants, giving some awesome information and details that will help them get going in the city.

Here are some pages in GIF form

https://www.amazon.com/Basic-Tips-Etiquette-Nathan-Pyle/dp/0062303112

I had the same issue for too long. I recently got one of these "scoop free" litter boxes and put it in a cat bench thing and it's honestly been a dream. 2 cats and I can go 4-5 days without smelling anything.

I can still hear the sirens aloud, but better than having nothing on my window. This is my setup around the window AC. I've used 1 sheet of bass wood(bought it from blicks)+3 layers of cardboard+acoustic panel (really thin, it's basically a sponge, but it helps with sound not bouncing around the window sills) https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B010GPFRUQ/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o04_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

​

so i guess, in total, that is about 2~3 inches of thickness.

Not sure if you're into this, but I loved The Works - each chapter tells you how things like water and electricity end up in your house, how traffic works, how the roads are built, et cetera. It's got lots of diagrams and is fun.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Works-Anatomy-Kate-Ascher/dp/0143112708

The other recommendations are solid, and this may be a bit lighter than you want, but The Works by Kate Ascher is a great illustrated book on how the city's infrastructure is put together.

Two of these: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00GFSF402/ref=mp_s_a_1_8_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1482194225&sr=8-8&keywords=white+noise+machine


This one is also really good:https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00HD0ELFK/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1482194225&sr=8-1&keywords=white+noise+machine&pi=SY200_QL40


I have each one situated on a bedside table on either side of the head of the bed. The head of the bed is even against the wall closest to the subway noise, white noise machines work great.

Shure SE215 sound isolating in-ear monitors. These help filter out the noise of the subway and have a flat EQ response so music sounds like it should. I also wear them with no music playing while reading on the subway and I can't really hear anything unless someone is talking very loudly or yelling. They also have a replaceable cable.

high quality air filter.

This is great: https://smile.amazon.com/Coway-AP-1512HH-Mighty-Purifier-True/dp/B00BTKAPUU

We bought one of these. Its kind of expensive and maybe you could buy something similar from goodwill and modify it to add a cat entry to save money. At any rate we notice far more odor if the front doors get left open so it is effective, but its not a silver bullet.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004E8M7PK/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

​

We also use the Dr. Elsey's blue box litter.

The Power Broker by Robert Caro. Humongous and incredibly compelling biography of Robert Moses, the guy responsible for the bulk of infrastructure projects you just mentioned and many more.

'Sleep Easy' is my holy grail

https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-Easy-Sound-Conditioner-Machine/dp/B00GFSF402?th=1

​

City Walks: New York: 50 Adventures on Foot

The Power Broker by Robert Caro is supposed to be excellent. Doesn't really fit in the architecture / food / pictures criteria.. but hey

https://www.amazon.com/Basic-Tips-Etiquette-Nathan-Pyle/dp/0062303112/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1526939666&sr=8-1&keywords=new+york+city+etiquette

Subway map (PDF)

Metrocard

NYC Basic Tips and Etiquette by u/nathanwpyle

Barclay Street is located close to Chambers Street (A/C), Park Place (2/3) and City Hall (R/W) stations.

http://www.amazon.com/Works-Anatomy-City-Kate-Ascher/dp/0143112708

The Power Broker

https://www.amazon.com/Works-Anatomy-City-Kate-Ascher/dp/0143112708

722 Miles - is about the Subway system

Fat of the Land: Garbage in New York

The New York City Museum of Complaint - 300 years of actual complaint letters from the Municipal archive

The Power Broker - How Robert Moses shaped the city. Edit: of the ones I've listed, this one is required reading.