Best products from r/BabyBumps
We found 413 comments on r/BabyBumps discussing the most recommended products. We ran sentiment analysis on each of these comments to determine how redditors feel about different products. We found 4,023 products and ranked them based on the amount of positive reactions they received. Here are the top 20.
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1. The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-Shooting Tips, and Advice on First-Year Maintenance (Owner's and Instruction Manual)
- Quirk Books
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3. Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know
- Penguin Books
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4. Taking Charge of Your Fertility, 10th Anniversary Edition: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health
- Used Book in Good Condition
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5. Leachco Snoogle Original Maternity/Pregnancy Total Body Pillow, Ivory
- The first and true original Snoogle
- Snoogle takes the place of multiple pillows to help support hips, back, neck, and tummy
- Patented design was developed by a registered Nurse and mom
- Enjoy cuddle comfort and support without the extra body heat.
- Snoogle original has a sham-style removable cover that is machine washable
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6. The Birth Partner - Revised 4th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions
- Harvard Common Press
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7. Infant Optics DXR-8 Video Baby Monitor with Interchangeable Optical Lens
- 2020 Award Winner: Babylist Best Baby Monitors Of 2020 *(Awarded On January 8, 2020)
- Perfect Size & Weight Ratio - No Large Batteries To Power Energy-Hungry Large Screens. The Dxr-8 Is Light-Weight And Portable, Designed For True Mobility Around The House. 10-Hr Battery Life On Power-Saving Mode, 6-Hr With Screen On.Care & Cleaning: Spot or Wipe Clean
- Full Viewing Control - The Dxr-8 Is A Baby Monitor With Camera Features Such As Pan/Tilt/Digital Zoom And Interchangeable Lens. Fit The Zoom Lens To See Even Closer, Or Zoom Out With The Wide Angle Lens. Expandable Up To 4 Cameras
- Robust And Mature Hardware - The Dxr-8 Is Fine Tuned And Refined Over Years Of Iteration From Feedback Of Real Users. Trusted By Over A Million Parents, Our Award Winning Monitor Is Backed By Vigorous Testing And Quality Control
- Range Up to 700 feet (line of sight, no obstruction)
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8. Simple Wishes Signature Hands Free Pumping Bra, USA Company, Comfortable, Adjustable, Supportive, Soft Pink, X-Small/Large
- HANDS-FREE BREAST PUMP BRA - Impeccable design, maximum comfort, and the freedom for you to work on tasks or simply relax while pumping.
- FULLY ADJUSTABLE PUMPING BRA: Comes with a convenient 11" adjustable Velcro back panel to ensure a perfect fit as your body goes through natural postpartum changes during pumping and nursing.
- WORKS WITH ALL MAJOR BRANDS - Including Medela, Philips AVENT, Lansinoh, Bellababy, Evenflo, and Spectra Baby.
- CUSTOMIZABLE & CONVENIENT - This bandeau style, hands-free breast pump bra has a zip-in center panel in the front that allows for 1" of side-to-side movement for proper positioning of pump flanges. This item is not included with the bra but is available for free upon request.
- ENJOY NO FUSS AND NO MESS - With a reliable, tight seal of breastshields and flanges from our four-way layering support system. Machine Washable. Patented.
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9. Leachco Back 'N Belly Pregnancy/Maternity Contoured Body Pillow, Ivory
- The first and true original Back 'N Belly
- Can help provide equal support for back and belly at the same time
- No repositioning pillows during the night, simply turn from side to side
- Can help provide support for neutral positioning
- Sham-style cover is removable and washable. Hourglass inner curve
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11. The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be (Fourth Edition) (The New Father)
- Used Book in Good Condition
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12. Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy: From Doctors Who Are Parents, Too!
- Medical Birthing Guide
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14. SwaddleMe By Your Side Sleeper
- Mesh sides provide a clear view of baby and help air circulate to protect baby from overheating
- Sturdy metal frame fold flat for travel
- Soft, comfortable fabrics
- Includes mattress pad and fitted sheet. Mattress pad filling is 100% Polyurethane Foam. Interior measurement is 29.5 x 13.5 inches
- Age Range: Birth until baby begins to push up or roll over
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15. The First Years Sure Comfort Deluxe Newborn to Toddler Tub, Teal
BABY BATH TUB: Three stages of transition from newborn to toddler, comes with a comfortable slingERGONOMIC DESIGN: This bath tub for baby features an Infant hammock like sling inside the tub and holds a growing baby better during bath timeCOMFORTABLE NEWBORN BATH: Mesh sling provides extra support a...
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16. Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know
- Massive case fits 13 triple-slot aftermarket cards with bigger PCB/cooler up to 330 mm length and 150 mm height.
- Switchable to 10 quad-slot patterns for extreme expandability and airflow; Maximum performance across multiple GPUs.
- Supports ATX/Micro-ATX mobo, 3 PSU, 10 or 13 GPU, and 14 x 120 mm fans; Zip tie points for neat cable routing.
- Extra tall 6U chassis elevates your cards above the MB and PSU, and keeps the cables out of critical airflow paths.
- Industrial quality steel with black powder coating for outstanding strength and durability.
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17. Safety 1st Heavenly Dreams White Crib & Toddler Bed Mattress for Baby & Toddler, Water Resistant, Lightweight, Hypoallergenic, Green Guard Gold Certified
NOTE: Item model# 5805096 is the same item as model# BM204. There was a change to the model number for manufacturer internal purposes. Actual item is sameLightweight and durable. It is made with high density thermo-bonded fiber core that provides firm support and a 100% Vinyl outer cover that is wat...
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18. Vitafusion Prenatal Gummy Vitamins, 90 Count (Packaging May Vary)
- Exposure to heat or sunlight may lead to melting of product. Hence customers are expected to be available during the product delivery
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19. HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing (3rd Edition)
I am due in November so this is more of a blind-leading-the-blind sort of list, but take what works for you and leave out what doesn't:
Our goal was to register for anything that could be used in the first year - but we own our house and have storage space. If we didn't, I think we'd just have registered for items used before 6 months.
I did get a lot of receiving blankets despite not registering for any. I also got a lot of basic white gerber onesies, which I hear are awfully tiny and shrink in the wash so I haven't opened those at all.
Four-week "comprehensive childbirth" class at our hospital, which I really liked and am glad I took. The instructors were all either nurses or former nurses at our hospital and were familiar with our hospital's policies and standard practices, so I now feel very comfortable with what might happen during our birth; also, it turns out our hospital is pretty awesome. It was also actually some nice bonding time with my husband, especially when we practiced having him coach me.
One night breastfeeding class, also at the hospital. Informative, but not necessarily anything I couldn't have learned on my own. It was good to hear about the breastfeeding support that my hospital offers, but I suspect I would have found out about all of that anyway during my stay.
Watched the DVD series Laugh and Learn about Childbirth. It was nice to have a second perspective, and there is so much to know about childbirth that there was material covered in the videos that wasn't covered in our class. The instructor has an interesting style which we found to be hit or miss, tonally, but overall it was a good use of time. We also have Laugh and Learn About Breastfeeding, but haven't watched it yet.
I also read (I've been to the library more in the past two months than in the previous two years...):
My husband is reading The Birth Partner, Third Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions, and likes it so far.
I still have HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing; The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth (Sears Parenting Library); and Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds on my reading list. About three weeks to go; we'll see how far I get.
I agree with you about the towels and wash cloths. I found a full sized towel easier to use than the tiny baby one, but to each their own. I was given a TON of wash cloths, but didn't use them until my kid started solids, then they came in handy to wipe off her face and hands. You don't need baby specific ones though, any will do.
Since you're having a winter baby, I recommend reading this article on keeping kids and babies warm and safe in the car seat. Bulky coats are actually quite dangerous. And I recommend one of these if you live somewhere where it gets really cold. Kept my winter baby in Canada nice and warm! No matter what bunting bag you get, make sure it goes on the carseat like a shower cap, not behind the straps at all. Once your kid is in a convertible seat, it's tougher since the seat stayed in the car and therefore was quite cold. So I would use lots of fleece layers and made a carseat poncho.
Clothing: I also recommending getting a couple sweaters for a winter baby. I had two in each size. I also don't see any sleepers on your list, they are an essential for me! One item of clothing instead of many is WAY easier in the constant diaper changing days. On really cold days, we'd actually layer pants and a sweater over a sleeper, to keep her extra warm (and have built in socks!) I'd say have at least 5 onesies, and 3-5 sleepers.
Pacifiers: I recommend only having one or two on hand. I ended up having breastfeeding problems, and my LC discouraged the use of pacifiers because it was apparently encouraging my kid to CHOMP. I never used one again. It was actually nice, since it was something I didn't have to worry about in the diaper bag, and we never had to wean her off them. I have picked up two for this upcoming birth though, I will use them if I need.
My essentials, but many people do without:
- For me, sleep sacks are essential. I never figured out swaddling, and sleep sacks made things so much easier. I love the halo sleep sacks, and the newborn one has velcro flaps for swaddling.
- Baby bathtub. I really don't know how people bathe babies, especially tiny ones, without a baby bathtub. They are so tiny, delicate, and very slippery when wet.
- Travel system stroller. Being able to click the carseat into the stroller was amazing. I'm a c-section mama who has disastasis recti in pregnancy, so baby wearing doesn't work very well for me for very long. A stroller helped me get out of the house, which saved my sanity. This also meant the carseat was never left in the car to get cold, which I felt was important with a winter baby.
- Carrier. Though I couldn't use it for very long because of my core, sometimes when we were out and about she'd start to fall apart, and popping her into the carrier solved that right away. If you don't get a stroller, you'll definitely want a carrier. I loved my Tula free to grow carrier. Easy to use, and worked on both my husband and I.
FTM here... I got this one:
I originally bought a different one (a WiFi/phone app one), but it was pretty laggy on my phone (which is a pretty good phone & we have pretty good WiFi). DH & I decided to just return it & try another one (the one above). We haven't 'officially' tried it out yet (I'll be 34 weeks tomorrow), but we've played around with it & tried it out a bit for ourselves. In short, the picture is pretty good, the sound is very good, and the parent unit/monitor is very responsive. It's VERY highly rated on Amazon. I know it's early to tell, but I think we're going to be very happy with it. It is a little pricey (around $167 on Amazon), but I still think it's worth the money.
If you're not sure, I just Googled things like 'best baby monitor 2017' or 'best video baby monitor' (depending on the kind you want), and some websites provide very helpful reviews of different monitors (pros & cons, etc).
I've nursed my twins for 16 months now (and pumped at work for months 3-11). Here's my thoughts:
Bottles: I got tommee tippee. Medela makes bottles for the pump you can pump right into. My girls loved them, but they drank the milk SO FAST. Even the "slow flow" nipples were way too much. Everyone told me to get so many bottles but we were fine with about 10 between the two of them. I'd get no more than a couple of any brand to try before committing.
Formula: You don't need more than a small can on hand. It goes pretty far if you're just using it to supplement. They also sell these ready to use "nursettes" that just come with a disposable nipple you can screw on. This is probably what they'll have at the hospital. Depending on the hospital you can probably also get them to send a couple of packs of it home if you ask. Super convenient.
Pump: You need a pumping bra. Life changing. I had this and loved it. Also Lasinoh makes great bags that are great for storing/transporting the milk and cheaper and tougher than the medela bags.
Other: You might want to get some of the cheap nursing tanks that you can wear under any kind of shirt. Then you can just wear regular clothes out and about, and lift up the outer layer and pop down the tank without having to expose post-baby stomach.
Other than that, it's kind of personal preference. I never used lanolin or nursing pads, despite buying a ton. I leaked for the first two weeks and then never again. And I ended up liking a throw pillow better than any of the big nursing pillows.
Good luck! The book "Work. Pump. Repeat" is a fun informative read for those of us who like to be over-prepared ;)
In no particular order:
I'm 17 weeks with my first, so I don't have personal experience to draw from yet - but I'm going for it with as much preparation as possible. I'm an over-preparer. :D
We're going with CNMs (certified nurse-midwives) at a birth center. Because it's an out-of-hospital birth with hospital transfer for emergencies, there's very few interventions available for normal births. Throughout even the first trimester they've heavily stressed preparation. Here are some things they've emphasized:
I'm pregnant with my first so I don't have the same experience, but in addition to second/thirding the idea of therapy, I would suggest reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth (linked below) if you are interested in having a VBAC as well as a healing birth experience this time. The book has tons of real-life birth stories, as well as really good information about how women's bodies naturally work (and how medical interventions often make things worse). Ina May's birth center in Tennessee has incredibly low rates of intervention, including c-section, and she's considered by many people to be the best and most experienced midwife around.
If it's feasible for you - I don't know your location, finances, etc obviously - it would be a good idea to find an experienced midwife or at least a doula who can sympathize with your medical anxiety, give you information and options regarding natural childbirth including VBAC, and help you find a place (whether that's a hospital, birth center, at home, wherever) that you feel safe giving birth.
I, too, have anxiety about medical procedures and I pretty much never go to the doctor - I feel that they treat symptoms and not the underlying problems, and they are too quick to push interventions (not least of all on pregnant/birthing women). That whole "oversized baby" problem is usually not true, and unless you have a deformed pelvis from rickets or something, there are very few true cases where a newborn is physically too large to fit through the mother's pelvis. I am not mentioning this to dig at anything from the past, but to encourage you to believe in your body's natural ability to give birth to the baby that it grows. I'm sorry that you went through a traumatic birth experience with your first and I hope that whatever you decide that the second one will help heal the pain from that.
If I had it to do over again I would have gotten the Leachco Back 'n Belly or the "chic" version of that pillow. What I actually got was a mini snoogle and while it was fine and perfectly sufficient early on I'm now having to supplement it with a couple of other pillows. Sure using 2 other "normal" pillows that I already had laying around the house is cheaper but it's also a huge pain. Every time I roll over or get up (ya know, approximately 20+ times a night trying to get comfortable or getting up to pee) I have to move every single pillow then re-position every single pillow. There is nothing that takes you from mostly asleep to wide awake during a position change like having to wrestle a snoogle and also move 2 other pillows while struggling to get everything in the perfect spot. And, ya know, no pressure to make sure it's all in the right spot because if it isn't I'll just wake up an hour later with severe rib/back/round ligament/whatever pain and won't be able to go back to sleep at all.
At this point the $60-90 for the back 'n belly (or chic version) that I thought wasn't worth it is feeling 100% worth it. I'd love to have a pillow that goes around so I can just roll over and already have stuff on the other side if that makes sense. I've actually seriously considered spending the money just for the 3rd trimester because honestly maybe 3-4 more weeks is enough to get my money's worth. At this point anything that helps me not hurt all the time and helps me sleep is kinnnndaa priceless.
So that's my advice. Definitely get a pregnancy pillow. Definitely don't think about "but it's so expensive for something I'll only use for X long!" unless you just really don't have the money in your budget. Get whatever you honestly think has the best chance of keeping you comfortable for the next however long, including the 3rd trimester instead of saying "maybe this will be good enough and it's so much cheaper!" like I did.
ETA: If it matters I had a bad lower back before pregnancy. I've also always had a tendency to get intercostal chondritis (rib pain) and pregnancy has only made that 100x worse. And I have bad pelvic girdle pain. If you don't have any preexisting issues and you don't end up with PGP it's possible you wouldn't need as much support to stay comfortable.
Another vote for both of the Emily Oster books, and the best practical book I've read is Heading Home with Your Newborn. Also this one's not a pregnancy book but I would strongly recommend How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen if you're at all scared of the toddler through kinder stage. It's an entertaining read that aligns well with developmental psychology and has all these really funny real life examples of using the strategies from the book.
If I had to only pick a handful, I'd pick those.
I also liked the Ina May book which people will recommend a lot, but keep in mind it really is exclusively about childbirth and it's a bit crunchier than the average (though this pertains to the birth stories included more than Ina May's actual writing IMO). There's a good interview with her on the Longest Shortest Time podcast that addresses some of the things I felt the book could have benefited from stating outright to avoid sounding a little preachy at times.
If you're looking for like a detailed read that starts with absolute basics that would be especially good for anyone who hasn't researched much on pregnancy before, I would recommend Pregnancy, Childbirth, and the Newborn: The Complete Guide. It's as thick as a textbook but it doesn't read like one. They have a page in most sections directly speaking to partners as well, which is neat.
These are the only ones I bought and read:
I love this Subreddit and just how easy breezy and fun the conversations were while still being helpful. I found these books had a similar feel to them.
I'm pretty petite and really didn't start showing until 24-ish weeks? Then is was like BOOM. There's a baby in there. So, I bet it's coming sooner than you think. I honestly was able to sleep on my stomach late into the 2nd Tri - which made me very happy.
I just ate what felt right at that moment. I had a lot of food aversions and it was just hard for a while. Eventually, I found things that worked and then the aversions tapered. I've been eating cashews a lot lately... Milk hits the spot... I'd say keep trying until you find something!
I didn't really have a "timeline," and my OB would remind us and help us figure out when to do some things like, call the insurance company, schedule classes, etc. I preferred to take the classes later so the information stayed fresh.
As for a car, we started that early because we knew we had two cars to sell/trade and wanted to make sure we found something we both really liked.
Make a list of what you want done before baby comes and place it according to "MUST HAVES" / "NICE TO HAVES" -- that helped us prioritize and made it feel more managable.
Hope some of this helped!!
Hi! I’m back!!
Although I thoroughly intend to write my birth story when I’m ready, I just finished my first piece since the baby arrived so in celebration, I’ll pair it with something useful.
I really appreciated posts like this while I was pregnant so here goes:
Things I didn’t know I needed:
(AKA things I have frantically ordered on amazon at or around 2am)
•Bottle Drying Rack This probably seems obvious, but when we didn’t get this from our showers we were like... idk why we can’t just use a towel??
•Safe way to cosleep My husband built a BEAUTIFUL Sidecar Crib, but it was attached on my side of the bed and it took 2.5 weeks for me to have healed enough to climb in bed around it safely with the baby. This way, I didn’t have to bend over to pick up baby or even spit up to check on/soothe him.
•Lactation Suppliment My lactation consultant approved. This one worked well in my breakfast tea.
•Better flanges My poor nipples were so sore and the flames that come with the Medela... well I’m not sure who they’re supposed to fit but not me. My doula practically ordered these for me. GAME CHANGER.
•Pumping bra I was cutting holes in sports bras. This is better.
•Nipple Shells Another kind reddittor sent me in the direction of this AMAZING INVENTION after I posted a photo of ice packs tied to my nipples with a burp cloth because I refused to wear a shirt my nipples hurt so bad. I will be purchasing these for EVERY PREGNANT WOMAN FOREVER. They keep your nipples dry, collect drips, apply counter pressure to keep your nipples shaped correctly for latching, and most importantly omg nothing touches the precious nips and you can wear a shirt!!
Me: that seems extra, he’s in a car seat and safe why would I need a mirror??
Hormones; HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH YOU FOOL
•Car adapter for my breast pump Cheaper than batteries
•Shade for his side of the car because anything that wakes up my sleeping baby is the devil. This one has a bonus that allowed me to roll the window down and it was HOT in the south
•Better suction for the breast pump Again- just better than whatever they send you
•My Breast Friend we got the boppy but this one saved my back
•Heating pad Turns out I’ll do ANYTHING to keep the baby asleep when I transfer him to his crib including preheat the darn thing (on low!) before I lay home down
•Stroller Caddy You’ll want somewhere to put your keys, phone, and coffee
•Baby K’tan An easier way for my husband to wear the baby.
•Leggings I had a pair of these before, and they are SO COMFORTABLE on my postpartum body that I bought 5 more in different colors!
•Extra pump parts for whichever pump you have
•A hands-up swaddle I found at Target
Anyway, hope this helps! Best of luck to all of you!
I attended the 5 week course and found it very valuable as you practice the relaxation techniques in class. Even though I meditate and can relax myself very easily I would have felt overwhelmed by trying to read and teach myself.
However, if taking a class is not an option you can purchase the book that we received in class. It follows pretty closely with what was taught in class. I believe you get a cd with the book that has the rainbow relaxation visualization on it.
HypnoBirthing: The Mongan Method: A natural approach to a safe, easier, more comfortable birthing (3rd Edition) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0757302661/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_78yDDbR1CN3T9
In addition The Positive Birth Company is a good resource for Hypnobirthing and has an app called Freya that has a guided visualization and helps you count surges. I also watched YouTube Hypnobirthing videos and just did research in general for evidence based practice birthing and natural birth.
For our first kid, we bought the Halo but he HATED it, so I would caution against spending a ton of money on any sleep solution, if you can help it. Easier said than done though, I know. Our son ended up preferring the boppy lounger which was not "safe for sleep" but worked for the first week (we took shifts, basically) until we had the stamina to teach him how to sleep in his crib.
The second thing I'll say is: have a couple things to try, if you can swing it. Babies are finicky. They're going to hate a lot of what you plop them in for sleep.
And lastly, I'll contradict everything I said above haha: I wish for kid 1 that we had just stuck with ONE thing for longer than a day. I think in some ways it may just take them a few days to adjust to ANY new place to sleep that isn't your belly. So pick something and stick with it even if they hate it and cry their faces off. They'll get used to it after 2-3 days. That's our plan this time at least...
We got this for free from a friend so are planning on trying it out. I'm excited, she said it was great especially bc it was on wheels so made it easy to move from room to room if they needed to. https://www.amazon.com/Arms-Reach-Concepts-Clear-Vue-Cocoa/dp/B008C2YKWC/ref=redir_mobile_desktop?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&ref_=oh_aui_i_sh_in_o0_img
We also just got this basically for free (only had to pay for shipping) and I'm excited to try it out. 100% safe for sleep, and pretty straightforward (and cheap, so why not). You just have to take a quiz on safe sleep to get it. https://edu.babyboxco.com/home
We have this on our registry but haven't purchased yet. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YBADM1O?colid=2T5L5M1XY90ZA&coliid=I1VNXP4A6ZQL3H&ref=br_ADD_TO_CART_title_link
When I was pregnant with my first I didn't think we needed a video monitor, but then when we moved her into her own room I decided we did. It is SO helpful. When she would cry out in the night I could peek on the monitor and see if she was actually waking up or just snuggling back in to sleep, so I didn't get out of bed if I didn't need to.
That first one I bought was a Foscam that isn't available anymore and I wouldn't recommend anyway. It had a feature where the screen would turn on if it detected noise, which sounds nice, but was actually really annoying. We ended up keeping the screen on all the time, which burnt it out pretty quickly.
Just a few months ago I ordered this one and I love it. Great picture, good sound quality, and the sound when speaking through the monitor to the baby/kid is good too. We don't use that feature often, but it's nice to have. It also shows the temperature in the baby's room, which is really good because our daughter's room gets cold quickly. We plan to get a second camera to use in the second baby's room because you can link it to the one monitor and go back and forth between views. They also have the option to add on a wide angle lens to see the whole room rather than just a close up of sleeping baby, which will be nice as our kids get older.
The Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was by far my favorite. I thought it was going to be dry and medical, but it had everything I was looking for. I found "What to Expect" to be a little disorganized and kind of scary, but I know a lot of women like it.
We also really like Be Prepared, which is really a dad book but I enjoyed as well. It's lighthearted and easy to read in quick segments, but has a lot of good info.
Online, I really like the Babycenter.com community because it has so many people... almost any question I have has already been asked and answered, so I find lots of answers. If your town has a chapter of the Mommies Network you'll absolutely get great info there, and meet local parents/parents-to-be. Finally, if you're breastfeeding, Kellymom is a must.
Whew! Hope those help!
Congratulations! If you're looking for a book to read throughout pregnancy, The Expectant Father is kind of like a What to Expect When You're Expecting for dads. I like that it has practical things you can do to support your SO week by week. It also has things about what she may be experiencing emotionally and what you may feel. Some of it is kind of goofy but things like a list of questions for your pediatrician might be helpful.
One practical thing any pregnant woman probably would appreciate is having good food around. I love that my SO never judges what I eat, is always down to get whatever I'm craving and cooks for me. The Brewer Diet has recommendations specifically for twin pregnancies. She may not feel like eating for a while, but it's especially important for her to stay hydrated and get good nutrition when she can eat. B vitamins, especially B6 can help with the nausea.
Since you're already into meditation check out hypo birthing. It uses guided meditations and affirmations.
The class I took taught the Monaghan Method. Here's the book on Amazon
I see you're due pretty soon so you won't have time for classes but the book might be worth a read? Or maybe just read up on hypnobirthing.
There's also hypnobabies but I don't know anything about it other than it exists.
What helped me the most in labor was breathing. To make sure your shoulders and face and hands are relaxed. Just breathe through the contraction. I pictured the breath coming in and going down by body and out the birth canal. Another popular visualization (like another commenter mentioned) is visualizing your cervix opening. Like a flower. And you could picture the baby moving down.
As for the guided meditations, any would work. Just something to divert your focus from labor. You can download them on iTunes.
There are two primary affirmations used by hypnobirthing. One is the rainbow relaxation (which you're supposed to listen to everyday so that you're reaction to it is automatic but you might download it and give it a listen). The second one is more of an affirmation. You can download these. I googled it and saw them on youtube so look around. I got them from the CD that came with the book.
Then, what I did was make cards. I found affirmations I liked and wrote them on index cards to read while in labor. I decorated them and put pictures, etc. I used some from the hypnobirthing and some I just found online.
Absolutely no issues with flying during pregnancy. Some airlines restrict pregnant women from flying past ~36 weeks, but I think that's because they don't want you going into labor in their airplane cabin at 32,000 feet. After getting thru security, buy a bottle of water for your wife. I was on a 2-hour flight over Christmas and was dying of thirst waiting for the drink cart to come down the aisle. Also, give her the aisle seat if possible so she can walk the aisles periodically to keep the blood moving and access the bathroom quickly if needed.
As for books, I've read a lot of good ones. I've liked the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy, and Elisabeth Bing's Six Practical Lessons for an Easier Childbirth and Ina May's Guide to Childbirth for info on labor and delivery, and The Happiest Baby on the Block and the Wonder Weeks for infant care. Also The Birth Partner is a great book on delivery for both pregnant women and husbands. If you can find a secondhand bookstore near you, check it out--a lot of people sell off these types of books once they're done with them.
Congratulations, and welcome! SO and I just found out about our incoming bundle of cuteness on Monday, had our ultrasound to rule out ectopic on Tuesday, and it has been a whirlwind ever since. I have been on the depo shot for 2 years, and I only missed one cycle (was due for a shot 7/1, conceived around 7/15). We are due April 11th, but they may change it to the 16th! As far as not drinking, I would go with the "new medications, can't drink" thing. It's something people shouldn't question, and if they do it is easy enough to explain. Just be prepared to answer the questions ahead of time!
One of my favorite books from my last pregnancy, especially for our dear sweet men, is The Pregnancy Instruction Manual and [The Baby Owner's Manual] (http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=pd_bxgy_b_img_y) once little one is here. They are easy to read and sort of hilarious!
My SO felt most baby books were really condescending or immature, but so far he's enjoying one my midwife recommended, [The Birth Partner] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/155832819X/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1492743861&amp;sr=8-1&amp;pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&amp;keywords=birth+partner&amp;dpPl=1&amp;dpID=51XnpsE7XXL&amp;ref=plSrch)
With baby books, I highly recommend you read the samples on amazon before buying, the dad ones especially. :)
Also! Watch the Happiest Baby on The Block videos with him about swaddling and other fantastic ways to calm even colicky babies.
And [here] (https://youtu.be/j7YucfJuziU) is a 3 part birthing class on youtube. :)
Yea, Google is your best friend-- I'm not sure why they wait so long to tell you the do's and don't's, particularly because fetal development has the most vulnerability in weeks 4-12. Causes for concern are pretty much limited to: LARGE amounts of blood accompanied with cramping/pain. Little bit of spotting = usually pretty normal. LOTS of blood and pain = usually a very bad sign. Other than that you're not going to notice much aside from nausea if you're 'lucky' like me.
Typically their only recommendations on exercise is not to start something more strenuous than your pre-pregnancy baseline. If you were a dead-lifter/marathoner, you theoretically should be fine to continue your normal routine. If you were a couch potato like myself, now is not the time to pick up Cross Fit.
For the Zika stuff, sounds like you've done more research than anything the doctor's office is likely to tell you, and you should not panic about the trip. Enjoy yourself but be careful. Congratulations by the way!! If you're looking for a book about the wonderful world of pregnancy I think you'd like Expecting Better by Emily Oster, she's also a researcher and gives a statistical/data-driven look at pregnancy and everything to expect along the way. I skimmed 'What to Expect' and was not impressed, but I thoroughly read and enjoyed Oster's book.
My partner has been over the moon. This is a man who was considering getting a vasectomy over the last year (and he's not even 30) - our pregnancy was a big surprise. But he's SO HAPPY and excited about the pregnancy; he always has a hand or two on my bump, and loves to lay with his head on my belly to hear & feel movement. And he genuinely loves my pregnant body, which is a relief sometimes when I feel like a land whale. (My self-confidence is sometimes really high - but it also falls victim to the fact that pregnancy has given me the unpleasant, uncontrollable ability to change my mind at a moment's notice and hold a vastly different position on something than I did 30 minutes prior. And I'm supposed to name a child with this kind of indecisiveness? DAMNIT.)
Being pregnant makes you feel a little bit like superwoman, once you get past the initial misery. Right at about 13 weeks is when mine finally knocked off. 16-17 weeks were SO AMAZING - I wish I could have bottled that whole time period and kept it going forever. Energy, libido, mood, everything was GREAT!! Now I'm starting to sneak into "Ehhh, nothing is comfortable anymore =(" territory, as well as dealing with my GOD DAMN BRAIN failing me at every turn.
Get a pregnancy body pillow. The normal flat ones they sell at home furnishing stores won't do it. I got a Snoogle and it is AMAZING. OMFG. Best sleep I've had in a long time, and it's actually been helping cut down the insane pregnancy dreams. I slept for 12 hours last night. A-mazing.
Once you get out of the first trimester - where YOUR body is doing all the really hard work - it's up to the kiddo to just get bigger and develop. So it's been really fun to track all the changes and see him on the ultrasound. Feeling him move is crazy, and getting crazier all the time. In the beginning (I first felt him at 16 weeks), I could only feel him if he kicked the front of my stomach. Now I can feel him moving around and kicking down or toward the back. It's very bizarre, but kind of cool!
I felt really depressed towards the end of the first and beginning of the second trimester, but I managed to perk up and have been feeling pretty great ever since. The thing that actually helped me was I started knitting again. It was something that I could do to "prepare" for the baby, but it wasn't urgent (no pressure) and it wasn't physically demanding. Finishing the first little hat gave me a sense of accomplishment and helped me finally get excited about the baby.
Is there any little tasks you can do to start getting ready for the baby that aren't too physically or mentally demanding? Even just going online and buying a few outfits or starting to work on your registry could help you have something positive and productive to focus on. You could even start writing up a tentative birth plan or reading some positive birth stories (I really recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth or even watching her ted talk).
Tips and suggestions... you're going to get nausea... I kept peppermints, gum, and crackers in my purse for at least the first 8-10 weeks. You never know when it's going to strike! Oh, and ginger ale was my bff for a while!
What to Expect is a fantastic book! If your husband is looking for one, I would recommend The Expectant Father. My fiance is reading it at the recommendation of my brother (who has two kiddos) and they love it!
If you're wondering about the studies of drinking/no drinking, chances for birth defects or miscarriage, and all the crazy polar stuff you see on the web... I recommend picking up Expecting Better written by an economist who analyzes all these studies, just in laymen's terms! It's comforting to know what's what, etc.
Other than that, welcome to baby bumps! There's SO much info that gets passed around here that I have found so incredibly helpful. If you have questions, ask. If you have fun things to share, share it!
I tend to do pretty well with pain in general, and it really was like intense period cramps; but I had also done lots of mental prep for labor pain in particular. A great resource for me was Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, which helped me frame the pain of labor contractions in a productive, actually kind of beautiful way. I mentioned thinking of them as waves--well, I grew up on a farm, so I visualized them a lot in advance as waves of wind through wheat fields; and I love trees, so I connected the idea of labor to the breezes waving through the branches--especially during woodsy walks. In general, whenever I was walking and things got uncomfy or having Braxton-Hicks, I did those kinds of visualizations as well as deep breathing with my intentions directed toward labor practice. Additionally, I really connected with the pregnancy and birth stories from various religions, so my labor preparation and expectations were deeply spiritual for me too. I think that prep helped me not do any second guessing during the real deal. Funnily, my midwife applauded my physical control and bodily self-knowledge afterwards, but I've actually got a history of feeling disconnected from and out of control of my body, with some out of body experiences since childhood and some chronic pain issues--however, I did some major mental work with those issues during my pregnancy, so that probably helped too.
I did not have to visit the hospital, thankfully! My SO said my midwife was making some concerned faces towards the end, and she admitted she thought she might have to do an episiotomy--but she didn't, though I had three 1st degree tears that she stitched. I've had a UTI this past week, but that's as complicated as it has gotten, thankfully!
I hope the additional info helps!
No baby here yet (I'm due 3 days before you and still haven't popped yet!), but I have a few book recommendations. Your boyfriend might enjoy the first because it's amusing and not really overwhelming, called The Baby Owner's Manual. I am currently reading Mayo Clinic's Guide to Baby's First Year, which is more clinical but VERY detailed. I really enjoyed the mayo clinic pregnancy book because it wasn't as scare-tactic as some of the others (like What to Expect) but still gave good, evidence-based information. Speaking of evidence-based, I read and thoroughly enjoyed The Science of Mom, which is kind of like Expecting Better but for baby's first year of life. It goes over a lot of scientific studies, if that's your thing!
I was/am in the exact same boat - first kid, limited funds, starting from scratch, going through reviews and prices drove me insane. It took me probably three months to get my registry together, and, even then, I am still switching things up, lol.
lucieslist.com was invaluable while picking everything out. I highly recommend you check it out.
What we have bought ourselves that fit our tight budget:
Graco Comfy Cruiser Travel System. We had already decided to go with that car seat, given that it seems to be the top-rated budget option, and the stroller ended up being a much-needed bonus. We go on walks a lot, so it works for us. If you don't need the stroller, the seat itself is, I think, only ~$100.
The Pack N Play, which I've heard from literally everyone and their mother is almost a necessity.
Because we don't have an IKEA near us to get our hands on a swanky $99 crib, we bought this DaVinci crib. We still only ended up paying $100 for it, as we found it on sale, however, we would have paid the $200 for it, given that the reviews are good, and, when compared to some other cribs that cost $400 and up, the price isn't bad at all.
As for the rest of the registry, we have on there a Moby wrap (affordable baby wearing, yay!), nail clippers, outlet plugs, nursing pads, a wipes case, a baby tub, baby wash, assorted crib sheets, waterproof crib sheets, Pack N Play mattress, and sheets to go with, crib mattress (we actually bought this one when we found it on sale for $20, and it's just fine), receiving blankets, dirty diaper bags (because we aren't getting a diaper pail, just a small can with a seal-able lid), changing pad, and a cover to go with, pacifiers, Dr. Brown's Gia Nursing Pillow, a bottle brush, bottle warmer, thermometer, booger sucker, camera to monitor the baby, and a few other assorted things that I couldn't really find a definitive "best in class" for, so pick at your own discretion: diaper bag, swaddles (although I've read good things about the Summer Infant brand), bottles (we're going with Phillips Avent), a bouncer (we got this one), and a swing.
I agonized over this stuff for what felt like forever, lol, so I hope it helps you and saves you some hair-pulling. It's all so overwhelming!
I also have a bunch of stuff on my registry that is inexpensive ($10-$25) for friends and if my coworkers decide to do a shower here which they have done for other new moms in the past. Here are some of the things I have on mine
Sleeping gowns so you don't have to unsnap the onesie for midnight changes
A baby tub
Nose Frieda which others have mentioned
preferred bath/care products
Cloth diaps which make fantastic burp cloths/cleanup
Nursing pillow also good for tummy time
Plus some other odds and ends. People will also buy stuff that they like, so you'll probably get stuff that was not on your list and that is ok. You can also request to have a "diapers n wipes" shower which a friend did since she was on her 4th child, and she probably got 2 months worth of diapers and wipes out of it if not more. Also, make sure you get multiple covers for your changing pad, it'll be nice to have more than 1 when it needs washing! Congratulations!
My OB said that listeria is just an odds thing and that according to the CDC the same year soft cheeses had a listeria outbreak there was one in ICE CREAM - and you don't hear a single pregnant woman being denied their precious ice cream haha. So basically the moral of the story is that people latch onto some of these more than others for no particular reason. There have also been recent outbreaks in other foods that pregnant women aren't advised to never touch ever again. All of that to say listeria is very serious and we have to be vigilant but it's also important to educate yourself on what should truly be avoided. I recommend the book Expecting Better by Emily Oster who does a great job outlining what you really should or shouldn't do according to science and data - but makes it crazy easy to understand and you'll feel 1000x better and more comfortable navigating the world as a pregnant person after reading it.
If you just use The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding as a reference, it is good. I also liked What to Expect. I kinda split the difference between crunchy SAHM and epidural-loving working mom, though.
My husband LOVED the daddy book I got him called Be Prepared. He ended up bringing it to the hospital with him, and eventually even I read the whole thing.
My friend who is really into nutrition of her babies just recommended Super Baby Food to me, but I can't vouch for it. Also seems to have mixed reviews on Amazon. I was given a book called The Best Homemade Baby Food on the Planet that I haven't really looked at yet, but might now that we're starting solids.
The only cloth diapering book I read was Changing Diapers by Kelly Wels. It was okay, but I did better just by internetting.
And if you're a frugal momma, pick up the most recent edition of Baby Bargains. I've only heard good things.
I highly recommend reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth.
I found it very useful it giving a wide range of birth stories and going into depth in various topics that neither gloss over the risks, nor leave the reader needlessly fearful. (For what it's worth, the book also talks about things like shoulder dystocia which this lady talks about in the article about how much she hated her home birth--the book explains what it is, positions you can get into to alleviate the problem, and the associated risks.)
I think the best we can do is to get as much information as we can, make the decision based on our knowledge, and then trust our decision when we feel swayed by emotions like fear.
I also think it's important to be flexible and not go into it with too many expectations on what the experience is going to be. That way if you need to do a transfer, it's Plan B, not a "failure".
And now for my biased opinion: I think that hospitals and doctors are trained extremely well to take care of maladies. I don't view my birth as a malady, so until it becomes one, I don't want to be "treated" for it. Watching The Business of Being Born (on Netflix) really goes into depth on the culture and practices of birth in the United States, and how it compares to other countries, and although some might say it's biased toward home birth, I think it's worth watching to know some of the pitfalls of relying on hospitals as your only source of information, even if you do decide to go that route.
Good luck on your decision making and I hope you have a wonderful birth!!
I'm a FTM and I have taken absolutely zero childbirth classes or infant care classes. I have done a lot of research on my own when it comes to childbirth, however. The library has been my best friend. I don't plan on doing any infant care classes. I've been around babies with my nieces, nephews and cousin's kids so I'm not worried about that. I did, however, purchase The Baby Owner's Manual for my husband and he loves it. He's never really had any experience with babies at all.
You are definitely not a bad mom already! You will survive without them. A lot of child care is intuition and with childbirth you will have your doula. I think you'll be absolutely fine. You got this!
> I'm thinking of calling our parents out of safety (and excitement) but asking no one to come until my husband and I give the OK.
Just because you ask them not to come does not mean they will honor that. If I had family in the area, I personally would not call until after baby was born.
> What if I go into labor at work? Can you drive yourself to the hospital?!
It is very unlikely that you will go into labor and then be right around the corner from having a baby. It's more likely that you'll start noticing signs of labor and then not need to be at the hospital for several hours -- or even days. You will probably have a fine time driving yourself to the hospital.
> How soon after birth did you let people visit?
Totally personal preference. I didn't want people around me for a few days, some people want half their family in the delivery room with them while they're pushing. It all comes down to what you are comfortable with (and probably also what your hospital's policies are).
> Did you really sneak snacks into your bag?
I didn't. You should also try and do a tour of your hospital or birthing center to ask about their food policies -- not all places have a ban on food while in labor. I was actually aloud anything "clear" and was brought jello, lots of hot broth, etc.
> Did you have to be naked for the birth or did they let you keep a gown (planning on bringing my own light gown) or t-shirt on?!
I don't know of any place that requires you to be naked for birth... There is a good chance that they will prefer you to change into a hospital gown, as they are designed to have access to the back (for something like an epidural placement) and usually open at the shoulders so that once baby is born you can have an easier time with skin to skin and nursing (if you chose to do those things).
> I hate the idea of my tits hanging out, hah.
You will find that a lot of your sense of modesty sort of flies out the window when you're in labor. Once my son was born there were probably 12 people in the room and most of them had clear site of not only my tits but my vulva and everything else. They're medical professionals though, so you should be able to get over it.
I would recommend lurking around here for a while and reading as much as you can. The book Expecting Better will also do a lot for clearing up many of the outdated or confusing information that surrounds pregnancy as well as labor. I highly recommend reading it.
Have you considered a baby box? They are cheaper than a pack and play, small, portable, and safe. I have heard that some countries send them to expectant moms as a care package, but you can buy them too. After I quick search I found this one (the link takes you to an article explaining Benifits of a baby box) and this one. , but I’m sure there are more options out there.
Or conversely you could look at co-sleeping bassinets like this , which at $35 is super easy on the pocketbook. It also has a 4 star rating on amazon and is good through 3 months old!
My DH and I didn't do anything special before trying, or while trying, aside from me using a ovulation predictor test daily that I ordered from Amazon (there are some really cheap ones that work well) and my husband keeping his laptop off his lap.
As for gaining too much weight while pregnant - everyone is different. I eat when I'm hungry and I try to eat healthy. First and second trimester I was right on for weight gain, exactly where I should be. Third trimester my weight has been bouncing all over the place and my diet/lifestyle haven't changed at all. I think your body has a lot more say over your weight gain than what you put in your mouth sometimes. I'm eating healthy and not ridiculous amounts, so I'm not going to worry about it until after I give birth, I can try to lose weight then.
I avoided all parenting magazines like the plague. Every one I looked at was pure advertising, or advertising dressed up to look like articles. I stuck to this subreddit, talking to my OB and This and this book. They were informative, enjoyable to read and pretty unbiased. DH and I also took a childbirth class, breastfeeding class and newborn care class through a third party company affiliated with our hospital.
Forest themed nursery. I wanted his room to be calm colors and used decorations that we already had in our home for the most part.
My top 5 items in the room:
We wanted something simple and affordable this checked both boxes.
Loved the price and it’s my favorite chair in the house already.
We went with these because they seemed a little sturdier than the ikea spice racks.
I liked that you can move the camera to see and zoom in and out as well. My SO also walked to the end of our street and still had full connection so the range is great.
I use the Medela Pump in Style Advance (free through my insurance). Are you going to be pumping due to a return to work? The version my insurance provided doesn't include the extras that came with the PISA when my sister purchased hers in 2011 (prior to Obamacare), like the backpack, the battery pack, the cooler bag, and freezer pack. My sister gave me hers, so I use all of these things and would recommend purchasing them or something like them if you will be pumping at work.
I also recommend a Simple Wishes hands free pumping bra. My lactation consultant recommended watching this video to learn tips about maximizing production: http://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/MaxProduction.html, and I use these techniques throughout my pumping sessions every day.
I pump twice a day at work - at 10am and 2pm - for 20 minutes each time, not including set up and take down time. I keep my milky pump parts in a gallon ziplock bag in a mini fridge (that I bought on sale at Best Buy for $99) behind my desk after the morning pump session. Since they are refrigerated, I don't have to go rinse or wash them in the communal office kitchen sink between pumping sessions. I take them home every night and wash in hot, soapy water, and then I sterilize them in the Medela sterilizing bags in the microwave. I let them dry overnight on the Boon grass lawn drying racks. I have multiple sets of pump parts and bottles because sometimes they don't fully dry overnight. I also wash and reuse the ziplocks, but I plan on replacing them with PlanetWise clear storage bags (which are top rack dishwasher safe) to reduce waste. I keep one complete set of extra pump parts and bottles in my desk at work just in case I forget something - it's already saved me once!
To stimulate let down at work, I bring a slightly used burp cloth that smells like baby (smell is one of your strongest senses!), I watch videos or look at pictures of baby, and it sounds weird, but I close my eyes and visualize my hungry baby. The visualization plus the smell of the burp cloth does it almost every time.
Please let me know if you have any more specific questions!
ETA: My daughter was 20 weeks when I went back to work and she only took 5-8oz the first week at daycare, but I think that was just her adjusting to the transition. Now she takes between 10-14oz on average. I usually pump about 12-13oz. I built up a small freezer stash before going back to work just in case she outpaces me.
Congrats on the holiday news!
this book will be nice to add to your list. I didn't worry about What to Expect... I didn't like it so much, either you love it or you hate it. www.thebump.com is a great site to start with, it's pretty comprehensive and has a week-by-week checklist, which has kept me so so sane.
You don't have to worry so much about if the baby is getting what s/he needs as long as she's eating healthy and taking her vitamins. My OB put it nicely... "Like the honey badger... it just takes what it wants."
If you guys are tea drinkers at all, sweet tea helped curb my morning sickness. Usually it's a problem revolving around blood sugar. You get sick because you don't eat, you don't eat cause you're sick, etc. It's HARD to keep things down. Sweet tea helps, and french fries were pretty much all I ate for a looong time. LITTLE BITES. If you try to take big bites, it's much worse. The less you have to chew, the easier it is to eat.
Lastly: Don't panic. It's so much easier on you, your wife, and your baby. 9 months may not be a long long time, but it's long enough to allow you to get your bearings and figure yourself out.
If you can afford it, get a doula to help you stay focused on your goals and help you advocate for yourself with the medical stuff.
If you haven't read these books, read them, and realize you can still have the birth you want, even in a hospital. They mostly take place in birth centers but I don't think that limits you. Do your midwive's have privileges at your hospital? If I risk out of my birth center my midwive's would still be at the hospital with me helping me avoid intervention when possible.
Spontaneous Joyful Natural Birth https://www.amazon.com/dp/0984774696/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_unsmxbPZHJGV9
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth https://www.amazon.com/dp/0553381156/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_UnsmxbK2RDTYK
If you want SO's help getting you ready to have the birth you want even in the hospital, have them read this-
The Birth Partner - Revised 4th Edition: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions https://www.amazon.com/dp/155832819X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_Kosmxb3AA7EZB
Seconded - when I was pregnant I LOVED Baby Bargains.
This gift will help her save money and not feel overwhelmed about all the choices of baby gear.
I would get the Baby Bargains book and The Pregnancy Instruction Manual. It's an easy, entertaining, funny read.
I just ordered my SO this awesome shirt and onesie combo, an epic coloring book, something to help if he's feeling overwhelmed, a book for bedtime, and a shirt to help bring out his inner nerd as a late father's day/early baby day present~ get your hubby something fun that matches his personality, there's plenty of awesome things on amazon for dads-to-be for every kind of dad out there. You just have to look :3
We did look at this mattress, but ended up not going with it. In the Amazon customer reviews we clicked on the 1-star reviews to see why those people rated it as such. There are a quite few comments about it's weight, flexibility, size, and the general safety of it.
But with 300 5-star reviews and only 33 1-star reviews, I think you can still say that this is generally a well-liked mattress. Plus, people tend to review when they're unhappy as opposed to happy, so I bet there are more than 300 happy customers out there.
Here is a link to just the 1-star reviews if you want to read through them. Hopefully that link works right..
Although with everyone else, I don't think the 4 prenatals a day is correct. Just take one for now until you see your OB. You can find these over the counter in the US. I take Nature Made Prenatal. You don't want to take too much vitamins, this could be very dangerous for your baby-- just take the amount the bottle says to take.
I don't think just getting an ultrasound is going to make a difference. It's not the ultrasound but the interpretation (by an obgyn or radiologist) that matters. So unless you have a lot of extra money, I think getting extra ultrasounds will be a waste.
You won't have to deliver in a bathtub. If push comes to shove, just go to the ER when you are ready, but I don't think it will resort to that. Next time you call an obgyn and they say no, ask them who will take me. Religious and community health organizations might also have an idea of places that can take you. Friends and family might have an idea. You are not the only or first person at all to find out this late a long, someone will take you. You just need to call a lot. Do you have a family physician you can make an appointment with? He/She might be able to help guide you in the right direction and get you into a place as well-- all medical providers have some training in ob stuff so a general practitioner should be able to tell you the very basics at least (or at least help guide you).
Make sure you stop drinking alcohol, tobacco products, and illegal substances if you are taking any . Medications are tricky-- sometimes you don't want to stop them right away, I would wait to talk to a medical provider for advice on that.
Finally, go to the bookstore (like now) and get a good pregnancy book. I like Mayo Clinic Guide to pregnancy. Keep in mind there are bad pregnancy books- try to stick to something medical.
Take this one day at a time, you still have some time to go and even though this is tough, this is certainly do able! Please try not to think about the past and things you did when you didn't know you were pregnant- we can't change the past and babies are really resilient.
On a side note, I work in health care, and a year ago had a gal a few weeks less than you who ended up pregnant (like you she also came in complaining of abdominal pain!). She was super worried about it-- she even admitted to some instances drinking a lot and was on some prescription meds that aren't exactly considered safe during pregnancy (which we took her off of)-- and she of course stopped drinking right away.. In the end, the baby came out FINE and is adorable. You can do it too!
Sorry you had a bad experience with doulas in your area! That's a shame.
BUT! A good book for you and your hubby is The Birth Partner https://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-Complete-Childbirth-Companions/dp/155832819X
It details what the woman in labor will be feeling and what you can do as a partner to help her. Really good read. Good luck!
Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way have been two fantastic resources for me. I highly recommend them if you're more into the natural side of childbirth, and I even found them to be a great prep for what's to come even though I haven't really made my mind up about natural vs. ... whatever else happens that day lol. But I felt that they gave a more accurate (and positive) description of what birth is like than any other source I've read so far.
EDIT: for links
It's never too early to invest in a Snoogle! http://amzn.com/B0000635WI
I also started with a chiropractor around maybe 18 weeks and am finding it to be extremely beneficial.
Best of luck to you!! And congratulations!! :)
Clearly based on all the posts thus far: You are so not alone in this.
How you deal with it is up to you.
I am very confrontational when it comes to fears. I learn everything there is to know about a certain subject and if there is even one tiny part that scares me the most, I become obsessed with learning about it.
In this way, I'm able to understand what is realistic and what just isn't based on statistics. I've also come to terms with knowing that, in the heat of the moment, there will be little I can do.
One of the most powerful books I read on late pregnancy and the birth experience overall is Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. The first third of the book is filled with birth stories and the rest just talks about the experience. Very well written, easy to read, and filled with citations.
My father died almost 14 years ago when I was 18. We were incredibly close and it breaks my heart just thinking about the relationship he could and would have had with my baby girl. He would have made an INCREDIBLE grandfather. My only solace is knowing that he gave me so much in life that I know I, as his living legacy, will proudly pass to her. I day dream of the day(s) when she begins to ask about her grandfather and I day dream of my responses and the stories I'll tell.
While it's not even a close second to having him still in my life, it's enough to calm me and focus on the positive (usually).
And know that sometimes, you are just going to need to cry it out. And that is 100% ok. Privately, publicly, whatever. Fuck it. Sometimes we all just need one good big ol' fuckin' sob. I almost ALWAYS feel better after letting myself feel this way.
Oh! And one other thing that's really related to both coping with your fears of late pregnancy and birth AND cope with loss: Surrender.
Learning how to surrender your mind and body to your emotions and physical needs is incredibly empowering. The book talks a LOT about this.
You can do this. You will do this. And... you're going to do incredibly well.
Good luck with everything. <3
I have the snoogle!
It's kind of the same thing. I LOVE it. I must admit, I tried sleeping with it in my first trimester and didn't like it. But once I was well into my second I thought it was amazing. Still sleeping with it now, and sleeping well even 5 days past my due date. I must say though... it's HUGE. It's really like having a third person on our bed. Though my husband doesn't seem to mind propping his leg on it, too.
I like to keep it Simple. We live in a Two bedroom apartment, and we used this same set up for Big sister. I was given a beautiful Bassinet with my First child and I actually didn’t even use it because this little travel Crib similar to this worked better. I didn’t have to get up and down all night, I could simply sit up/reach down and get to her, once she was asleep it made it less tempting to co-sleep (just not a safe option for me and my husband)
I’ve used a diaper genie in the past, but I’ve found a paper bag with plastic bag worked just fine, just swap it out every few days.
With my first child we where in a 1 bedroom so a changing table was a luxury that we passed on and just decided to change her where ever, the couch, the floor, the bed, we managed just fine.
The swing we Choose again, in mind for small living is a version of This swing
The clothes organizer works just fine for all her small clothes
Don’t feel bad for going super simple! Once she’s to big or unsafe for the little crib, we do have big sisters crib waiting for her. 😊
We have the pack n play but we plan to co-sleep with one of the super cheap in bed bassinets for the first 3 months so that it's easier for me to breastfeed and what-not without having to actually get out of bed
This is the one we have; full disclosure our bed is a king and I am very small so this fits between us comfortably but I've heard other people say that it doesn't leave them much room in their bed
We'll be using the graco pack n play with the raised mattress setting after the first few months until he hits the 15lb wt limit for the raised position, then down it goes to the typical bottom placement
I have this pillow http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0002E7DIQ/ref=mp_s_a_1_5?qid=1396412954&amp;sr=8-5&amp;pi=AC_SX110_SY165_QL70. And I love it, it's so nice to be able to flip sides without having to flail the pillow around with me, I do pleanty of that on my own :) it also props the belly up so I can do a half side half stomach sleep. it takes up a good amount of space so it's not ideal for sleep cuddling but it seems you don't have to worry about that :) other than that the only thing I have against it is its kinda expensive. But then again how do you put a price on good (as good as possible) preggo sleep?
Sympathy on the insurance/pediatrician front ... my hospital let me preregister without actually filling out that part of the form, though now I'm thinking I'd better check with my insurance and make sure that's ok with them!
For baby bathtubs my sister gave us the standard cheap blue tub which looks like it will work in the sink too, but we'd also looked at this one which seemed compact yet roomy enough for an older baby because it's more upright. But I haven't tried either out yet.
Oh and for furniture, I've had a good experience with Schneiderman's (several locations around town), but I have heard of other people getting delayed delivery. Some friends went to Becker Furniture and seemed happy.
This is one of my favorites that i've bought as gifts a few times (and DH actually gifted it to me for christmas lol). Basically a legit user manual for a baby that treats it like it's an appliance, car or electronic device. Has "Figure A, Figure B" type photos throughout, and topics such as "Understanding Power Supply: Programming Baby's Eating Schedule" and has a section on "safety and emergency maintenance" (babyproofing, baby CPR, etc).
Basically a hilarious read with TONS of great information for BOTH of you. Doesn't have the usual "dads don't know anything" vibe that a lot of parenting books do.
The book plus a tool belt or similar tote with things like a rattle, bottle, wipes, and diapers might be kind of fun. or simply the book with some of his favorite snacks!
The Baby Owner's Manual
I don't know if this is "small" enough, but it's relatively cheap and a smaller sized book, and I found it incredibly useful! We were gifted it after the baby was born, and I really wish we had gotten it before I gave birth!
It's funny, concise, and actually really useful. :D
B6! Someone else already said it, but I have to concur - it totally changed my life. It doesn't work for everyone (nothing does), but it's worth a shot. I'd start with 25 mg of B6 before bed (I had to cut up a larger tablet) and see if that does anything for you. My midwife said I could take 25 mg up to 3x per day (which I think would be helpful for the all-day morning sickness).
If that doesn't help, then jump to B6 and unisom before bed. The recommended dose I've seen is 10mg B6 and 1/2 tablet of unisom (source: Expecting Better by Emily Oster), taken before bed.
Good luck! It will get better eventually!
I wanted to echo what jrjunior said....I would first look for any midwife practices that have hospital privileges. I am planning on birthing at a birth center, but in case anything happens where I need to be transferred to the hospital, my midwife is still "in charge" of the birth at the hospital (unless I needed a c-section).
Also, great idea to get a doula...they are your advocate to make sure your wishes are met as much as possible given the circumstances.
One last thing- it sounds like you have already done some research, but I cannot recommend Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth more...especially to someone already invested in exploring natural childbirth. It changed my life!
Apart from the different subs people are referring, I'd recommend getting the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. I picked it up when I was TTC my second child, worried it'd take us another 2 years like our first, and it laid everything out in very easy to understand terms.
Honestly, it explained stuff that had never been mentioned to me before. And I remember going through a pretty thorough book with my mom when I was 12 or so... lot more information today than there were 15 years ago, I guess.
My OB said that next the the car seat, the mattress is the most important item to buy in terms of safety. A firm mattress reduces SIDS and one that fits perfectly in the crib is important (gaps between the mattress and the crib are dangerous). It's best to get one with a waterproof cover built in to the mattress (rather than buying one separately after). This is the one we bought: https://www.amazon.com/Naturepedic-Compromise-Organic-Lightweight-Mattress/dp/B004IPBH50/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1524260742&amp;sr=8-3&amp;keywords=naturepedic%2Borganic%2Bcrib%2Bmattress&amp;th=1
if you're on a tight budget, I've heard that this one is good too: https://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Resistant-Lightweight-Hypoallergenic/dp/B004044LD4/ref=sr_1_1_s_it?s=baby-products&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1524260822&amp;sr=1-1&amp;keywords=safety+first+heavenly+dreams+crib+mattress
You are not crazy at all. I teeter between extreme elation and anxiety. A few things trigger my anxiety about this pregnancy:
Things that help:
If you are in the US, you can choose between
Generally, OBs see birth as a medical event (in which a woman's body is often faulty and require a doctor to bail out). That's why all the restrictions are placed on the woman giving birth. I think OBs have come a long way since literally strapping moms down, but then again all the birth stories here seem to always mention pit and epidural, so I am not so sure...
Traditional midwives see birth as a natural event (in which a woman's body is designed to give birth, and it should be only in extreme exceptional cases when a doc is needed). Hence midwives encourage you to do what you feel instinctively to want to do during birth, whether changing positions or eating and drinking.
CNW span somewhere in between. The difference between CNW and a traditional midwife is that CNWs are nurses who receive medical training. Whereas a traditional midwife usually comes from experienced based training.
I highly recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" to get a full understanding of how traditional midwife believes contrast to that of OB.
Hope this helps.
For a Baby Monitor - I cannot recommend this one enough. https://amzn.com/B00ECHYTBI It's a little bit pricier than the others but it's works great! We bought a different one to start out with but it had really poor reception in the house. (As in it stopped working one room away). So we returned it and got this one. The video clarity is great, you can move the camera around which is awesome once your LO starts moving. And it travels well. But really it's their customer service team that sold me. I 'might' have broken the camera by dropping it. They replaced it for free even though I admitted it was my fault.
>I want to make sure that when my SO looks back on her first pregnancy, that she sees me right by her side.
Dude, that was heartwarming AS FUCK. I'd say you're already on a pretty good track just having that mindset.
I had a really tough first trimester and was having a lot of trouble eating/keeping weight on. Any time I had any little craving my SO made it happen like he was a freakin' genie or something. That was pretty nice. I think a big one is never making her feel like she needs to rationalize anything to you, whether it's a craving or a bad mood. Let her complain, be that sounding board.
And here are two books I'm really liking:
Congrats on the upcoming addition to you both. :)
I don't think there's a point to video monitors until you have a mobile toddler. When a baby is in his crib, sound is good enough. You know he can't get out, if he starts crying, go check on him.
That being said, we have one for my toddler who is almost 2. We got it for him when we transitioned him to his toddler bed so we could keep an eye on him if he got up out of bed. We first got the DXR-5 and it was great. We used it for a while and then upgraded to the DXR-8 because you could move the camera around.
I like the DXR-5 because it has a white noise function that will turn the sound off unless something happens over a certain decibel. The DXR-8 doesn't have that and the sound is always on (and it seems like there's always some static noises). You can talk to the baby through the DXR-8 though, and both have great night vision.
I am almost 27 weeks and all I have needed so far is a pillow to help support my belly - this one is what I've been using since about 16 weeks and it is awesome. I actually have one of the large u-shaped pillows - this one ...not a Snoogle, since I was told by friends who tried one during their pregnancies that it sucked because you would have to reposition the whole dang thing every time you wanted to switch sides. I actually haven't used it yet because we have a queen bed and it will seriously take up SO much of the bed. I'm perfectly comfortable with my belly pillow so far.
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy was my favorite pregnancy book.
I have bought expensive crib mattresses in the past, so this time I did a lot of research. I decided to go with the #1 Amazon best seller. The Safety 1st Heavenly Dreams crib mattress. I bought two, and had them shipped prime. They aren't in use yet, but the reviews are fantastic.
Looks like they are out of the prime option, but Target has the same one for $52.99.
I started Expexting Better but I'm not a numbers/data person so it came across as irritating to me. Tons of people like it and recommend it though so it's worth a shot!
My midwife recommended Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. A doula friend recommended anything by Dr. Sears.
First, congrats! :D
Next, if you are not taking any prenatals, you should get some sooner rather than later. The first few weeks are the most critical for getting enough folic acid, because that is when the baby's neural tube is forming and will close by about 6 weeks I think. Folic acid helps prevent spina bifida and other things associated with the neural tube. If you can't get a prenatal soon, eat lots of dark greens like kale and spinach which contain high amounts of folic acid. Personally, I buy one brand of prenatals that I love, but they are kind of hard to find. I took them in my first pregnancy, all through nursing and now with my second and they are very gentle on the tummy and really high quality. It also comes packaged with a DHA supplement which is good for eye and brain development. They are called Rainbow Light DHA Smart Essentials Prenatal Pack. I have only been able to find them locally at Rite Aid, but apparently they now sell them on Amazon too: http://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Light-Complete-Mulitvitamin-Essentials/dp/B001HCDTCG
You also need to call your doctor and make your first prenatal appointment. Unless there is a question or a problem, most doctors will not have you come in for a pregnancy test, whether urine or blood. I've been told by my doctor's office that the HPT's are good enough now they don't do their own test unless needed. If you don't have an OB/GYN, do some research to find one in your area. You also have the option of a midwife. Most doctors won't have you come in until 8-12 weeks, again unless there is an issue. At the first appointment you will usually get an ultrasound to determine viability. This is to check for proper growth and a heartbeat. They don't usually do an u/s before that because you won't be able to see much and it's fairly pointless in most cases. They will also go over what ever questions and concerns you may have and schedule your next few months of appointments. If you need a Pap, you'll get one at that time as well. There will also be other blood work to determine your blood type, your immunity to measles (I think) and an HIV test.
I would suggest buying a couple good pregnancy books. I've heard the "What to Expect" book is awful because it is written in such a way as to scare new moms with information. I don't know how true that is as I avoided it. I do like the Mayo Clinic's book and the Pregnancy Week by Week.
While you'll get anecdotal information here, no-one can tell what's going to happen with your body.
If you want a baby ASAP, I highly recommend joining /r/TryingForABaby to learn all about temping / charting.
Read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, buy a BBT thermometer (I use the Mabis one) and some OPKs (Wondfos are loved over there), and use FertilityFriend to track your temperature, OPKs and cervical fluid.
Also, FertilityFriend has a charting course that's a good way to learn the basics.
I was in your position. I ended up just researching on Amazon and went with the # 1 Best Seller in Crib Mattresses. Safety 1st Heavenly Dreams...http://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Heavenly-Dreams-Mattress/dp/B004044LD4/ref=br_it_dp_o?ie=UTF8&amp;colid=18BH1KCN47F7W&amp;coliid=I1VMCD7EB6ZWS0
The options were overwhelming- and this one is ranked number 1 and really affordable as well!
I did it with my first, hoping to do it again with my second. Honestly it’s a huge mental game. The birthing class I took mainly emphasized laboring at home as long as possible and to prepare yourself to feel like you’re running up hills and walking them back down over and over again (but way worse). Also Ina May’s book was also super helpful:
I do have to say, it’s awful that your pain management technique is being dictated by price. I wish this was a choice you were making because it is what you wanted, not because you feel financially pressured to :(
I read Hypnobirthing, and loved it! I liked "What to Expect"... until I found that I could download a free app from BabyCenter that let me know what was going on every week with my baby. Also read some of "Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way"... similar to Hypnobirthing, but I think Hypnobirthing takes it another step beyond, as it's written by a woman [Bradley Way is based on a man's work]... I just feel that women, esp those who have had babies, know more about birthing than men ever could. And Hypnobirthing is just awesome. But really, my baby needs to start up the labor engine so I can put it to the test!!!
We just bought this book for my husband to read, I skimmed through it quickly and it seems great - full of useful information and very straightforward. We are also taking childbirth classes, why doesn't your partner want to go to one? I've heard they are extremely valuable, and I would think it would help his anxiety if he feels more prepared.
This one is pretty good - it's a good "dad" book, and keeps things pretty straightforward but in a fun way. It's not the most detailed book (I don't think it covered things like sleep regression) but it might be a start? http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978
A pregnancy pillow would be a splendid gift. Also you could spring for a mani-pedi or a Mamma Mio gift set (here or here)(I am in love with their tummy butter and their boob lotion, it really really helps.).
My midwife recommended The Birth Partner to my husband - she said it's amazing and she recommends it to every birth partner that walks into her office.
There's also The Bradley Method - which is husband-coached childbirth. I've heard good things, but my husband wasn't too into this method since he thinks he might crack.
I'm reading HypnoBirthing now and relaying everything I learn to him. I'm going to pick up The Birth Partner for him from my midwife's lending library for him to read and we're also going to start watching HypnoBirthing classes on YouTube - I'm really hoping that'll be good for us.
Oh! I also have loved The Birth Partner. I feel like it had by far the best explanations of labor and what labor might feel like both for me and for my husband.
VitaFusion. They taste pretty decent; I took them with my previous pregnancy too. Just know that the packs come with 90, but you're supposed to take 2/day, so the bottle doesn't last as long as you might initially think.
FWIW: Once I started the iron pills, my energy was back up and I felt a lot more like "me." So hopefully the same goes for you.
Also, I'm not a doctor, but my OB said that even with my low iron, it's almost certain baby was getting plenty. Baby gets first dibs, and we get the shaft. ;)
Its silly, but this book is cheeky but can help with details around babies, cleaning, washing and sanitizing bottles etc. There is skin care for babies, stump care for the baby, and all kinds of instructions.
There's HypnoBirthing, and then "Hypnobabies" is a separate program spun out of it. I actually got the Hypnobabies book first, but didn't like the tone of it (too much time spent being critical of other methods). The main HypnoBirthing text is http://www.amazon.com/HypnoBirthing-natural-approach-comfortable-birthing/dp/0757302661.
The author/found Marie Mongan had her first two babies in the days when they gave you ether so you were passed out when you delivered and they pulled the baby out with forceps. For her third birth she managed to fight to be allowed to have her husband with her and be conscious for delivery. She later became a hypnotherapist and developed a program to apply self-hypnosis (basically deep relaxation) during labor.
During my first labor I spent a bunch of time in the tub with my eyes closed doing visualization and I have to say it worked really well. I found myself able to see the contractions a "separate" from myself and they didn't really hurt. But I found as I got more and more tired, it was harder to maintain this state. So, I'm wondering/hoping that HypnoBirthing might be the answer to doing a more thorough job at that. But it's the sort of thing that seems like it only works if you believe it will, so I'm trying to convince myself :)
There are HypnoBirthing classes where I am. But I've been so focused on my older child that by the time I started thinking about this, the classes in my area were full. But I'm at least reading the book myself and going to start listening to the CD tonight.
It's definitely worth checking out. You kind find a lot of positive birth stories and videos online.
My wife and I are TTC, hopefully in the next two weeks (pending my cycle start).
We started our journey in January, getting tested for everything under the sun. I thought I had PCOS (polycystic ovary syndrome) and so I took the initiative to get properly diagnosed with it.
As soon as I cycle, I'll get on 100mg of Clomid from my reproductive endocrinologist to ensure eggs will drop and then I'll do IUI in the doc's office. As much as I wanted to do at-home ICI, it just isn't in an option for us with my irregular cycles and ovulation calendar.
My tip for you is to start tracking everything. I recommend Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's a great book on how to track your cycles, basal body temperature, cervical mucus, etc. This will help with the timing of it all.
Because we don't have sperm available to us at all times, the timing of the days you cycle and the days you ovulate are critical to not miss a month of trying. It sucks having to wait a full month because of one or two missed days.
When are you looking to start or have you already started? What's your story? If you'd like to be TTC buddies, PM me and I can try to lend a hand throughout the process since I've been prepping for this about nine months now.
There's a lot of awesome suggestions here, but several would depend on your relationship with your coworker. Some of these are rather personal.
I'd personally go for a restaurant gift card and try to find some humorous things. Everyone needs to eat and who doesn't love laughter?!
One of my husband's fave gifts was a baby owners manual.
I was petrified too, but hiring a doula and reading positive birth stories really changed my attitude. The birth of your son can really be one of the best experiences of your life! It was by far the most amazing experience for me. I suggest reading Ina May’s Book. The first part of the book has tons of natural birth stories. I didn’t have nor want an unmedicated birth, but I found this super encouraging. It’s ok to be anxious and nervous, but fear and adrenaline are not your friend during birth.
Congratulations! Welcome to the journey :D. As far as books go, my husband likes The Expectant Father--it's full of good advice and doesn't treat you like a clueless idiot. For after the baby's born, The Baby Owner's Manual takes a humourous approach to the first year of newborn care.
I got one of these
It felt like a lot to shell out for a pillow, but honestly - it's amazing. I use my regular pillow for my head and position this like a U around my body. I can elevate my feet, prop myself into a semi-side lying position (which helps with my hip pain), and tuck it under my bump when I'm on my side. It's seriously made a huge difference in the quality of my sleep. (I still get up 5 times a night to pee, of course.)
The downside is the price and the fact that it takes up so much space. My husband is definitely counting down the days until he evicts the pillow.
We really like this book:
My SO has absolutely zero experience with kids or infants and it has really helped him learn a lot and feel very confident. It is written very much like a techincal manual but humorous. I have looked through it also (LOTS of experience with infants here!) and I find the information to be solid and it gets the point across easily.
We registered for this one: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ECHYTBI?tag=blvisitor-20
Why we bought it: Good reviews on Amazon. I liked the different lenses and that you can add on another camera. I liked that you can have the monitor "off," but still see if there is sound (the lights will light up).
Why we didn't want a webcam: 1. the security issues (people hacking and talking/seeing baby), 2. we don't have the need to see baby when we aren't home (baby will be at daycare. If we were going the nanny route, I might have changed my tune), 3. i don't want to have to use my iphone as a baby monitor. I'd rather have something that can be "on" all the time rather than toggling to an app/website.
Can't help you with how hard was it to secure - haven't used it yet!
Edited to add: also liked that it came with a temperature sensor. We will probably buy the wide angle lens once baby gets older/mobile.
We had the very basic sling-style one (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000067EH7). Worked just fine, never had issues with the sling. My LO was pretty petite at 6.5lbs, I think I remember other moms in my bumper group saying they had issues with bigger babies not fitting quite right.
My biggest bath-time tip is to run a hot shower before bringing baby in so the room gets warm and steamy. My LO loved baths - it was like spa time for him!
The Baby Owner's Manual: Operating Instructions, Trouble-shooting Tips, and Advice on First-year Maintenance was great for us - we are both STEM nerds too, we loved this! It’s humorous yet informative - I’ll get the toddler version later as well!
Not really set in an inspirational or emotional tone, kinda the opposite really since it’s supposed to resemble an instruction manual, but it’s our favorite book.
Thanks! I had put this thing on my registry but the handles on the basket look super useful.
We bought this one http://www.amazon.com/dp/B004044LD4
with this mattress cover http://www.amazon.com/dp/B001KZH69C
Great reviews, great price. lucie's list approved!
I used a Medela pump in style advanced. I got the one where you can remove the pump from the bag. Way less bulky to transport and use. I loved it. I debated the freestyle but I read multiple reviews saying the suction wasn't very strong. A few friends had that complaint about the freestyle too. I did buy this- Simple Wishes Hands-Free Breastpump Bra, Pink, XS-L https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00295MQLU/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_yA38tb1QD61JP
It's a pumping bra. It's amazing. I would wash dishes In the evening while pumping.
I am so sorry you are dealing with morning sickness :( I used these prenatal vitamins in my first trimester because they are delicious and they don't have iron, which makes a lot of women kind of queasy (just make sure to get iron from other sources). good luck dealing with the nausea, i hope it passes soon!
Thanks for the suggestion. Just to be sure we're on the same page about the book is it this?
Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is wrong - and what you really need to know, by Emily Oster?
Do you have baby classes at your hospital? There are usually classes for newly pregnant couples, and some for the couples that are mid-stage or later. I HIGHLY recommend you get him in these classes. They go over the changes to your body, what the baby is doing, the birth, and after care. Highly worth the $60 we paid.
Otherwise, just sounds like your hubby is ignorant, or not trying to learn, no offense (or you may just need to communicate more, see down below). I know personally it's been interesting reading up on the changes. Even if you get to the classes, I'd highly recommend the Mayo clinic book. It's a bit more detailed than the "what to expect when expecting..."
A note on the "baby-suit". Do you really think it's worth spending money on this? From what I've read, they are not very realistic. First, you don't gain all the weight at once, it's gradual. You also have lots of hormones helping (and making things difficult) along the way. The suits are usually just a way to make the mom feel better, but really doesn't effectively simulate being pregnant.
Or...maybe you just need to have a talk with him about being more empathetic for you... Coming from experience, many guys (me included), just don't always get "it".
Definitely get some support to distribute the weight. I had a full body length pillow (basically the length of 2-3 pillows) my first pregnancy. It was helpful. For my current pregnancy, I have this Snoogle, and it’s been a godsend since the first trimester for me.
The first time he was on a trip when I got my BFP so I ran to the bookstore and got him Be Prepared. With a card that said "Congrats Dad!" Or something like that.
This time I just shoved the pee stick in his face when he came home with dinner. I think he liked the first time better.
I'm having a good time with Happiest Baby on the Block (though I think it's really slow and repetitive, and their "conclusions" (it isn't this, this, or this, so it MUST be this) are a bit, uh, presumptuous; I think the book is spot on for how to treat the baby, especially in the "4th trimester") and The Nursing Mother's Companion. And these aren't baby books, but my husband and I are also reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Birth Partner to prep for labor.
I have a few more books on my shelf to reference just in case, like Sears' The Baby Book: Everything You Need to Know About Your Baby from Birth to Age Two (but I am wary of anti-vacc notions of the book), Brain Rules for Baby, and for fun, Experimenting with Babies.
It worked out great actually! I figured that most people have a target nearby and for those that would prefer to online shop, there was Amazon. I also found better deals on certain items on Amazon vs target. The bath tub we have is - The Blue Tub We don't fill it up every time we bath LO we just put him in the sling part and pour water over him (and keep a washcloth on his belly to keep him warm).
Somethings you should not get off amazon.
Target and Walmart have Flour Sack Dishcloth Towels and they are fantastic burp cloths, and eventually everything-so-can-spill cloths. They are 4 for $3.99 at target and 5 for $4.88 at Walmart, everything on Amazon is like $2 each.
Get this book for your husband, it's super cute!
As a lot of people have pointed out, this book isn't a guide to what to do when you are pregnant. She doesn't make any suggestions, but takes the studies that a lot of conventional wisdom are based on and investigates what went in to making the studies. Essentially, she is breaking down the "Spinach is fine" and "ibuprofen is safe" arguments and explaining what they missed or showing that these 5 spinach studies tested larger groups over an extended period of time while these other 5 only looked at 10 women each over the first trimester.
If you want more in depth information about how the book is written and what it contains, here is the amazon listing with a description. It is a very interesting read.
I get what you are saying but I am not (nor is the author) telling anyone they shouldn't listen to their doctor. This really just gives depth to where your doctor is coming from and what studies formed the beliefs and practices of American OBs and how those studies were performed.
We have this one from Amazon. It has tons of great reviews and it was recommended on Lucy's list. It's still working great for our 20m old. https://www.amazon.com/Safety-1st-Heavenly-Dreams-Mattress/dp/B004044LD4/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=baby-products&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1481224987&amp;sr=1-4&amp;keywords=crib%2Bmattress&amp;th=1
Here are some links for the product in the above comment for different countries:
Amazon Smile Link: this one!
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It's a body pillow that makes sleep so much more comfortable during pregnancy. It's really amazing and is so helpful. Here is an example of one :)
I really liked [The Birth Partner] (http://www.amazon.com/Birth-Partner-Complete-Childbirth-Companions/dp/155832819X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1420264672&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=the+birth+partner) by Penny Simkin and I'm making my husband read it now. It's a fairly easy read and I thought it gave a good overview. I'm actually holding it right now and this is the table of contents to give you an idea:
Part One: Before the Birth
Part Two: Labor and Birth
Part Three: The Medical Side of Childbirth
Part Four: After the Birth
I just bought the Infant Optics one from Amazon today, nice Black Friday sale and all reviews I found seem great. It's also hack safe.
I am reading through: http://www.amazon.com/Heading-Home-With-Your-Newborn/dp/1581104448/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1397573039&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=from+birth+to+reality
which is pretty good with what you need to know about newborns.
I also have http://www.amazon.com/The-Baby-Owners-Manual-Trouble-Shooting/dp/1594745978/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1397573102&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=baby+manual+book which is a quick and easy reference guide and should be more handy when I need to look something up.
I also have what to expect the first year, but I haven't actually looked at it yet. My DH has the Be Prepared book for dads, which he likes.
The Expectant Father! Both my SO and I read this book, and I LOVED it more than most of the lady-focused ones.
And, Conscious Parenting. I grew up in a family that was similar to your SO's. This book was great for me.
I know some of the fancier pack and plays have sides that unzip, which might be an option. Also a moses basket on the floor or a travel bassinet/co-sleeper like this https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00YBADM1O/ would work for the first few months.
And to help you with google searches (not to be a nit picker) what you are describing - having baby sleeping in their own bed next to yours - is what is now a days referred to as co-sleeping. Having a baby in your bed is what I assume you want to avoid, which is mostly referred to as bed sharing now a days. I only recently learned about this somewhat new terminological distinction myself. There are a lot of co-sleeper things that might be helpful to you.
I got my wife this. http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002E7DIQ/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&amp;psc=1
Its definitely big but she loves it. Thank goodness we have a king size bed. As soon as she gets up though the dogs steal her spot.
We did a hypnobirthing class and I really enjoyed it. It helps with the fear and I learned a few breathing techniques that help with my anxiety currently, so it was a good choice to do it.
If there aren't classes near you, the booking I'm reading that went along with the class is Hypnobirthing by Marie Mongan.
We're also doing the standard prenatal class through the hospital, mostly to meet other pregnant couples due around the same time as us and hopefully making some friends. The hospital also offers a Baby Care and Emergency Care class as well, which we're going to do. The only class we were on the fence about is the hospital Prenatal since we covered a lot of it in hypnobirthing, but as a FTM, it really eases my worries knowing that I'll be extra prepared.
Classes are expensive where I live, so that might be a consideration too... The hospital courses come to $365 and the hypnobirthing was $300 (luckily 80% of it was covered by benefits!). Insanity! We had to save up diligently to be able to do them.
Not related to this specific pump but the postpartum nurse at my birth/childcare/breastfeeding/all the things class said to buy a hands free pumping bra like this guy - https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00295MQLU/ref=cm_sw_r_oth_api_7MTeAbVQEZMCY
She also mentioned to bring it to the hospital, not sure if that’s a thing you need to do but thought I would pass the info along. I’m thinking about the S2 as well.
Co-sleeping is a hot topic, particularly regarding safety. If you're in the U.S., the AAP is going to advise against co-sleeping; however, many parents still do it to varying degrees. The risk is up to you-- if you do want to co-sleep, consider devices that may lower risk of hurting your baby (noting that nothing is absolute).
in-bed device : something like this would be placed in bed, but has hard, sturdy sides that would most likely prevent you from unconsciously rolling onto baby.
side-car bassinet/sleeper : something like this is going to have baby on a separate sleep surface that you cannot roll onto, yet it comes right up to your bed and provides similar closeness.
If you're considering co-sleeping, please take the time to research safety guidelines, SIDs statistics, and other credible, well-researched resources for relevant information.
I've been torn as well on the phone app vs parent unit. My best friend had a baby in december and she pushed me toward going with one with a parent unit. She said it's easier to just grab and look at in the night vs opening and navigating your phone, and she likes not having to close out of whatever she's doing on her phone to look at the app during the day (sounds lame at first thought but I can see it haha). BUT I do like the idea of being able to pull it up from wherever. I registered for this one, we'll see! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00ECHYTBI?tag=blvisitor-20 I was planning to go with the nannit had I gone the wifi/app route
:-) I just bought a "Snoogle" off of Amazon the other day, and it is amazing so far.. It is basically a giant C-shaped body pillow, but it is worth its price tag for good sleep!
This book helped a lot for everything. It goes week by week with advice, what to expect, stories, and preparation. It came free with my insurance and was the best resource for me (outside of bb of course ;) )
So far, I’ve really liked reading, “Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom Is Wrong--and What You Really Need to Know.”
Order The Birth Partner off amazon for your husband. Great book! I read through it and my husband is almost done with it. I plan on passing it down to the next friend who gets pregnant which is how it came into my possession.
I just bought this thing: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00YBADM1O/ref=br_it_dp_o_nS_ttl?ie=UTF8&amp;colid=O6J690IS6MW5&amp;coliid=I1VPDJP4JJ9ZML&amp;vs=1
whether he sleeps in it all night, or to just have as a safe thing he can be inside when he's on the bed/couch, i figured its only $30, and has pretty good reviews!
I had a straight one too....the curvy is definitely better as it supports the back and neck at the same time. Also, it is firmer than my floppy straight one. Seriously, I swear by this thing. Here is the link to the one my hubby got me
purchase a hands free pumping bra (http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00295MQLU) i feel like all breast pumps should come with one, but they don't and it's a must have.
if it's a possibility that someone might bust in on you while you are pumping, get a nursing cover too. i got one as a hand me down and i don't think ill use it while nursing but it would come in handy while pumping.
Spectra hands down. Pretty much any cups will work with the right adapters. Any pump combo can be hands free with a bra designed for pumping (there are lots with specific folds to hold the flanges.
I just put this on top after I loosened my bra and pulled it up: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00295MQLU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_lbCkDbN5GX2V5
I don't think Freemie is quite as covert as intended, more so than others, but I wouldn't buy it just to be hands free.
We started doing a bottle feeding every night or every other night at about three weeks (that way we were far enough in to avoid nipple confusion). I currently work full time and my husband is a stay at home dad. My baby nurses while I'm home and takes my milk from a bottle when I'm at work.
When you introduce the bottle, make sure your husband is the only one feeding her with it (you're not even around). If the baby sees you, smells you, etc. it might be much more difficult. Have him switch which sides he feeds baby on, and take little breaks so the baby can process feeling full. Only use slowflow nipples (you should never need to use bigger ones).
Here's my pumping and feeding system:
I get up early and pump for about 30 min. while I eat breakfast (I have a double pump with this, it is a big time saver). I get ready for work and then I wake her up to nurse before I leave. She goes back to bed, I go to work, and dad feeds her my pumped milk during the day. (She drinks about 18 oz while I'm gone.)
I pump at work during my lunch hour. When I get home I pump before I feed her. Then I feed her pretty much all evening.
So three prolonged pumping sessions supply her with her daily milk. On the weekends I freeze the extra (just in case it's needed).
I think it's important to pump in the morning--you will probably wake up with lots! Also, pumping BEFORE you feed her can be really helpful--the pump will only get the most readily available milk, and your baby will be able to get the deeper reserves. Plus, that will stimulate increased milk production. I know some moms who get up at night to pump if their baby sleeps through the night. Check out kellymom.com.
Yes yes to this style! I just upgraded to one of these: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0002E7DIQ
I've gone through a couple different setups by now and this one is much better than what I've used before. I need to sleep on both sides throughout the night so I really need something left/right symmetrical so I can sleep on either side with it.
I have the Snoggle too (here it is on Amazon), and it's been great! I have a queen sized bed, and my husband and I still sleep comfortably (I know, the pillow looks big!)
After A LOT of research, this is the one we're going with: http://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B00ECHYTBI/ref=br_it_dp_o_nS_ttl?ie=UTF8&amp;colid=1SB3NXTEYXV2H&amp;coliid=I1PIUKGEX1655U
It gets pretty great reviews and the couple of complaints I saw were much more manageable seeming than some of the ones found for Motorola and similar big-name brands. I haven't had a chance to use it yet, but we're hopeful!
That's great! Explicitly promised gifts are very different since those you should (hopefully) be able to count on. That was very generous of your mom, and your MIL!
For what it's worth, we're doing these cribs https://www.amazon.com/Union-Convertible-Crib-Grey-Finish/dp/B00JL6LOT0/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=baby-products&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1482096350&amp;sr=1-2&amp;keywords=crib
and these mattresses
Our plan is to skip the changing table and instead grab a chest of drawers and stick a changing pad on top of it. Two birds. We chose to get a Baby Jogger City Select since it will outlast a snap n go sort of stroller, but it also is bulkier and not the least expensive option by any means. We did buy it during a lightning deal on Black Friday so we saved a bit. We're skipping the monitor for now since we plan to put the babies in our room for the first 6ish months anyhow.
My dude read The Expectant Father and he found it super helpful, informative, and a quick read (he's also a busy guy): https://www.amazon.com/Expectant-Father-Ultimate-Dads-Be/dp/0789212137
It's cheap enough, but you might be able to find it at your local library -- that's where I found all my pregnancy books :)
Take your vitamins, eat your protein, try to stay active even if it's just walking a few times a week. Don't be afraid to call your OB if something is bothering you or if you are worried. 99% of the time they'd rather you call over something minor than to not call at all and be anxious. Get some books and sign up for child birth and parenting classes. We did ours though our hospital and they were pretty affordable and really educational. As far as books go, I am reading Ina May's Guide to Childbirth, and my husband is reading The Birth Partner. These were both recommended by our child birth educators. I'm 30 weeks right now, and I would say as you get closer to the end, don't feel bad about not being able to do as many things as you could before you were huge and uncomfortable. Ask for help, take breaks, nap, relax as much as you can.
We used this one and were so happy with it
Great for newborn, infant and toddler. We used it in the sink then moved it to the tub before switching to real tub baths at some point. Thanks lucies list!