(Part 3) Best products from r/BabyBumps

First-timer here who's hoping to go without pain meds. Here's my plan, loosely based on things I've picked up from reading Ina May's guide to childbirth and some Bradley Method books.

1. Avoid an induction if at all possible, i.e. let my body begin labor when it is ready to.
   
   
2. Labor at home for as long as possible. (Keep in mind, I live five minutes from the hospital. If you live farther away or might run into traffic, take note of what others have said here about how much it sucks to labor in the car.)
   
   
3. Change positions as needed. Know what positions are helpful in what circumstances (such as all fours to help ease back labor). There was a helpful one-page document posted here a few days ago about labor positions, but I'm having trouble locating it. If I find it, I'll update this post with a link. Try out other things like laboring in the shower or on the toilet, too. I really don't think there is one single perfect position for each woman to use the entire labor - I think it will help to move around into different positions as things progress.
   
   
4. Think of the pain as "work." As in, this is my body working to get my baby delivered. Don't be scared of it; know that it's happening for a reason. Prior to labor starting, read about what the uterus and cervix are doing during contractions, and what to expect as far as how the contractions will change in timing/strength and how your mental/emotional state will change throughout labor. I've been finding the information in Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way really helpful for this. Not only does it go into how the uterine muscles work to dilate the cervix, but it also goes through the "emotional signposts" of labor so that you can know in advance how you might feel at each stage.
   
   
5. Focus on relaxing through the pain. This goes hand in hand with number 4. I think that if I tense up and fight the pain, it will make the whole process take longer, so I'm going to focus on relaxing into it. That is totally not a natural reaction to pain in humans, so this is the one that I'm most unsure I'll be able to do properly when the time comes! This is one area where I still feel unprepared at this time. I think the biggest key will be breathing. I'm not planning to do the Lamaze-style breathing, because I think it will make me tense. Instead, I'm going to try for deep, slow abdominal breathing.
   
   
6. Labor support - if you can get a doula you like and feel comfortable with, I'd do it. If you have an SO who will be there with you, encourage him or her to prepare for the labor and birth alongside you, learning the same things about what your body will be doing and how you might feel. They can also learn some techniques for helping you, like backrubs and counterpressure.
   
   
7. Don't start "working" until you have to. Early labor can take a long time, and I think if you're intensely focused on "holy crap, I'm in labor!" that entire time, it can really wear you out and increase your feelings of "I've been doing this forever, I can't take it any more!" later on in labor. I'm planning to have a bunch of other stuff I can do/focus on in the beginning, such as: painting my nails, coloring in a coloring book like this one, watching a movie, watching ASMR videos on YouTube, going for a walk, baking cookies, playing with my dogs, and playing cards and board games with my husband.
   
   
8. Try to get a care provider who is on board with your unmedicated birth goal. I'm still working on this myself! I currently have an OB, and I don't think she is really on the same page as me with regard to my desire to not use pain meds. I'm interviewing a midwife this week to see if I can find a better fit there. Either way, talk to your care provider beforehand and explain your goal. I'd present it as, "this is what I am hoping to do; I know things can change in the moment, but my goal is to avoid using pain meds." I'm also putting together a one-page birth plan, and in it, I ask the staff to please not offer me pain medicine; I will ask for it if I want it.
   
   If you can't tell, I've been thinking about this a lot, too! I hope there is some useful info for you in what I've rambled about here, and good luck for your upcoming birth!

Warning - lots of text below! My baby is about 6 weeks now and I'm exclusively breastfeeding. My Medela Harmony manual pump has been fine for building a stash - I pump 1-2 times a day for the freezer and occasional bottle feedings from Dad. I think it's pretty convenient, but I'll be using a double electric pump when I go back to work (waiting to see what Tricare will cover in 2015!).

Whatever you decide to use for diapering, I'd strongly recommend getting some prefolds (I got Osocozy unbleached). They're great for burp cloths, catching milk from your other boob during letdown, etc and they're also way cheaper and more absorbent than fancy burp cloths. Personally I love prefolds and covers for diapering, but don't buy too much into any one system or brand until you know what works for you. My husband hates prefolds so now I'm having to add pockets and AIOs to appease him.

I'd get some swaddlers (at least 2; my favorite is from Nuroo but that was a gift and they're pricey, the summer infant SwaddleMe wraps are good now that she's bigger but didn't fit well until about 10 lbs). My girl lives in footed pajamas and I love the Gerber zipped ones, we found tons at goodwill for $1.50 each but if you can't find them used, they're on Amazon for $10 for a 2 pack. You're right that other people will buy clothes, but they'll pick cutesy stuff and you need some practical choices too.

Nursing pillow - I had an unexpected C section and this has been so necessary. I love the Luna Lullaby since it's big and I had a big baby.

Some kind of baby carrier, I got a Moby wrap while she's small and it's amazing for running errands (I put it on before getting in the car and pop her in before going in the store, WAY easier than a carseat and stroller).

We were gifted a used swing and it is a freaking godsend. It's the only way I get chores done since I can pop her in there and cook, do laundry, clean, etc without her crying. YMMV, some babies hate them, but buy used and you won't be out too much cash.

Wubbanub pacifier is easy to keep track of and super cute.

Pack n Play with a mattress for cosleeping (recommended to reduce SIDS risk for the first 6 months). At least 2 mini crib sheets.

Earth Mama Angel Baby nipple butter is amazing for the first couple weeks.

QuickZip crib sheets will be amazing once you use the crib.

Simba baby safety nail cutter - no bleeding!

Finally, the Itzbeen pocket nanny timer is so helpful for keeping track of feedings and diaper changes, especially in the first few weeks.

Hope this wasn't too overwhelming. Good luck!

*Edited to add links to products.

1,000 sq feet is a lot! Could you use the kitchen sink for baby baths? Or get a little infant tub, or even an oversized tupperware (or something from the container store). But really, you could use an infant tub and just fill it with water from the sink.

We had a 925 sq foot one-bedroom apartment when our son was born. When he was first born we just had a boppy lounger that he slept in on the floor next to our bed. We started with the Halo bassinet but he HATED it and would only sleep in the lounger. Literally. We tried everything. Only the f*cking boppy lounger. It made me so paranoid bc it said it wasn't safe for infant sleep but he loved it and did fine in it.

Anyways, when he got older (maybe at around 6 weeks) we moved him to a pack n play that had a raised mattress thing (not a bassinet, it's just a thing that clips on that lifts the mattress piece up). And then, we basically moved the pack n play depending on where we wanted to be in the moment. So, when we put him down to sleep, if we wanted to stay up in our bedroom and watch a movie, we'd set him up in the living room/main room. But if we wanted to be in the living room and cook a late dinner or something, we put him in our bedroom. That way, we weren't disturbing his sleep or naps.

We got this when he got a bit older and started collecting more toys https://www.amazon.com/Sauder-Bookcase-Footboard-White-Finish/dp/B00B2QU5YW/ref=sr_1_3 We still have it now (2.5 years later) and it's great. Holds a ton of books and toys, and is easy for him to access.

We had a little play gym thing that was cute and collapsable, though it stayed out for the most part because it was the best place to put him down for entertainment for a while.

We got this as a gift (expensive AF) but I LOVE it because the drawers are super deep, and now that he's too big to be changed on top of it, we're just using it as a dresser and it fits a ton of clothes, diapers, wipes, blankets, etc. https://www.amazon.com/Babyletto-3-Drawer-Changer-Removable-Changing/dp/B007CRJHW6/ref=sr_1_1_a_it

Once he started moving around, our whole apartment became his room. We basically permanently shut the door to our bedroom and baby proofed the entire rest of the apartment so he could crawl around. At that point there really wasn't any point in trying to save space lol.

Honestly, it's going to be fine :) when they're first born you end up wanting them so close all of the time anyways. And, for the first 9+ months they don't really move a lot or take up a ton of space. It's just once they start moving around that it becomes slightly more challenging.

Since I just bought a bunch of stuff off of amazon for baby #2 today I can go over some things I found useful.

Bouncer: I didn't have one with my son, but wished I would have. I had bought two different types of fancy swings, and my son hated them (plus they are big and bulky). But a bouncer would have worked great because it is nice and portable, so things like showers would have been so much easier.

A Moby or a Mei Tai wrap: I loved these with my son. They were perfect for grocery shopping so I didn't have to lug around a giant car seat that takes up a whole shopping cart (PSA never put an infant carrier in the infant seat of a shopping cart). Plus it kept all the strangers grubby hands off my baby. It amazed me the amount of people who would just walk up and touch my sons face when he was in his car seat.

Lots of footie PJs: They are so much easier to deal with till they are about 3 months.

Night gowns for babies: Like these are awesome for nighttime. the bottom part is open so no need unbuttoning or unzipping and waking baby up even more.


Burp clothes (gerber cloth diapers): Like These. Don't waist your money on the cutesy burp clothes in stores. They are thin and horrible material. Plus they barely cover your shoulder. These are what the hospital used as burp cloths and they worked so great! They are super thick and huge (covers your whole shoulder). My son had bad acid reflux so there was a lot of spit up.

Receiving blankets I didn't use them for swaddling (my son hated to be swaddled) But they work great when used on top of a changing table cover, or on a couch/bed. They save you from having to wash the changing table cover a zillion times. And are a great to throw in the diaper bag for an outing to use on changing tables.

Boppy: I used my boppy so much! They are great for breastfeeding, but also for laying baby down for tummy time.

These were just some things that helped me. Hopefully some of it you find helpful =)

Congrats on becoming a Papa! Here's the deal on protein for vegetarian woman:

Dear lord, especially now that your GF is pregnant, everyone will be a protein "expert" and express concern that she's not getting enough- She will be getting enough. There is protein in all whole foods, but the sources with the most are beans, soy products, vital wheat gluten, nuts, seeds, and whole grains.

Here's the breakdown I keep seeing for women's protein needs.
Sedentary Weight in pounds X .4
Active Weight in pounds. X .6
Add 10 grams for pregnant and nursing women

BEANS: Bean are a wonderful food full of protein, fiber, and they even help regulate blood sugar. They are so versatile and can go in any meal! If you cook them yourself make sure to add salt at the end, not while cooking!

Italian: Lima, White, Garbanzo
Mexican: Black, Pinto, Black, Black Eye
Cajun: Black Eye, Red
Indian/Middle Eastern: Garbanzo, Lentils, Red
Thai/Asian: Garbanzo, Soy/Edamame

SOY: I know you said no soy, but I wonder if you are staying away from it based on a common myth. - Soy absolutely does not have estrogen in it. Estrogen is a hormone- how would that have gotten in there!? However, certain hormone receptors can mistake a chemical in processed soy products, for estrogen, and if you eat a ton of processed soy products, you could have a problem. Tofu, tempeh, soybeans/edamame, and soy milk are all unprocessed versions of soy. They are high-protein high-fiber. Get them organic so you don't have to worry about the GMO. Eat away!

NUT CHEESE- Nut cheese are a beautiful thing; you can make them at home for little cash, they fill that need for fat, and spread well on a cracker. There are many kinds out there, but I keep it pretty simple with my cashew cheese. Here is a recipe similar to the one I wing, except that I add a little garlic powder and dill. http://www.sheknows.com/food-and-recipes/articles/1004407/easy-vegan-cashew-cheese-recipe

Nutritional Yeast: N.Y. adds a great creamy, cheese flavor to whatever you sprinkle it on. It is packed with protein and vitamin B12.

SEITAN- "wheat meat" made from vital wheat gluten. It's chewy and tasty and you can make it yourself for cheap!

PRENATAL VITAMIN- I've been taking this one especially for vegans to make sure I get everything I need to grow a healthy baby. I started feeling more pep in my step since I started adding it to my day and I highly recommend for the GF. http://www.amazon.com/Deva-Vegan-Vitamins-Prenatal-Multivitamins/dp/B000V865DW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1408998267&sr=8-1&keywords=vegan+prenatal

Don't forget to serve TONS of veggies and whole grains. Lentils rock my world, so if I've totally overwhelmed you, that's a great place to start. Source: I've been a strict vegetarian for 10 years and have studied nutrition for as long. Let me know if you have any questions. I could talk about this stuff until the cows come (safely) home.

So this is baby # 2 and we were all about the hand me downs this time around. Would’ve liked to paint but we rent and I didn’t feel like dealing with all that. We did have a baby sprinkle and scored some big ticket items like a double stroller, infant car seat, diapers, and swing. First time mamas, let me encourage you to buy secondhand. I could’ve saved literally over a $1,000 on my first born’s nursery had I been a little more open to used items. IMO, both nurseries are just as nice except this one was substantially cheaper to create.

Not easily seen from my poor quality video are Babar prints. If you can just look past the fact that it’s a story endorsing French imperialism, one can’t resist having an elephant nursery without Babar the elephant!

Top five items:

1.) Secondhand IKEA crib; my friend used this with all three of her kids. It is the Snigler crib. Super basic but super reliable.

2.) Dresser: secondhand, purchased on Facebook marketplace. Also has changing table topper but we omitted using that and just secured the changing pad to back of dresser.

3.) Elephant decals: Wall Pops WPK0841 WPK0841 Tag... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00E2XCOB4?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

LUCKKYY Elephant Family Wall Decal Removable Vinyl Wall Art Elephant Bubbles Wall Stickers Baby Nursery Wall Decor (Grey) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07C7Y4F3D/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_kbhwDbJVV9ATB

4.) Hatch sound machine: we used this with our first (still do) and it was a sleep game changer. In my opinion, the best white noise machine on market. Also doubles as an ok to wake clock and is operable from your smart phone!

Hatch Baby Rest Sound Machine, Night Light and Time-to-Rise https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XMRCC94/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_KchwDbHWZB7S4

5.) Ubbi diaper pail: we’ve tried several diaper pails over the years and this is the most smell proof and easy to use. It has a lock mechanism to prevent curious hands from digging through dirty diapers and can use regular garbage bags.

Ubbi Steel Odor Locking, No Special Bag Required Money Saving, Awards-Winning, Modern Design Registry Must-Have Diaper Pail, Gray https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00821FLSU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_eehwDb961APP4

So this is my nursery for my babygirl. I didn’t want to go with the typical pink scheme. I had something different in mind. It came out better than I had imagined. Fell in love with it once I finally put it together. Hope it can give some ideas as well. Here’s a link to the rest of the nursery.
https://imgur.com/gallery/cRuP7EJ

1. We got really lucky with the 4 in 1 crib. We got it super cheap from sears since it was closing down. Got it for $100. Which is a steal. It’s super handy.
   
   
2. My boyfriend is a painter so he painted the room in 45 minutes lol. Painted the letters and made the basket with her bows.
   
   
3. The rocking chair and canopy is my favorite part of the room. I thought it would be super cute to add in the canopy. I purchased off amazon for like $14 and the rocking chair was a gift from amazon registry. Highly recommend using amazon as a registry!
   Twinkle Star Bed Canopy for Single to King Size Beds (White) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07BYMG5TV/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_K7ozDbWBYX5W7
   
   
   Windsor Glider and Ottoman, White with Gray Cushion https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017XRDV5S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_p8ozDb5MTK6J4
   
   
4. Got my cute dresser from ikea. It is super roomy and convenient. A good size for all her clothes.
   
   Hope you guys can pick up ideas from my nursery!

Here's the rest of the pictures 😁😁

https://imgur.com/gallery/Q03hZZk

Top Five

In the living room

Graco SnugRide Click Connect 30 Travel System
Graco SnugRide Click Connect 30 travel system

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Graco-FastAction-Fold-Click-Connect-Travel-System-Bennett/374308673?wmlspartner=wlpa&selectedSellerId=0&adid=22222222228237510206&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=283899052272&wl4=aud-566049426705:pla-539613311477&wl5=9003876&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=374308673&wl13=&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1pblBRDSARIsACfUG10R9JBufXv4b1xe6xeFntXyvAzYwQKzGB07mpet7ccLlbFaEL0MxMIaA

(We'll probably have the stroller in the car most of the time)


Evenflo Versatile Play Space, Cool Gray

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B072LTSWND/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2zNPCb6QQMGHB

(Usually comes with a sixth panel, but we wanted to save space until we needed to add it)

Our room sharing set up

Bassinet was handed down to us all put together, and I can't find a link sorry!

Night Lights for Kids, VAVA Baby Night Light, Bedside Lamp for Breastfeeding, ABS+PC, Touch Control, Timer Setting-Pink

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HSTL75K/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_MCNPCbBNG4FR6

(Not pictured)


Ubbi Money Saving, No Special Bag Required, Steel Odor Locking Diaper Pail, Gray

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00821FLSU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_byNPCbWY1Z2F8


Honeywell Mistmate Ultrasonic humidifier

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Honeywell-Mistmate-Ultrasonic-Humidifier-HUL520B-Black/37690122?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222228027316373&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=43910449232&wl4=aud-566049426705:pla-84286515392&wl5=9003876&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=37690122&wl13=&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1pblBRDSARIsACfUG12UXQFyrKBbTM4Eq7IlBEg7IxwOorzgvPuFbH8x7isxW8BIMyNhJ_QaAk4HEALw_wcB


Munchkin Laundry Hamper with Lid, Grey

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B077PTSZVK/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_6hPPCb84MDT0G


Super Strong Folding Step Stool - 11" Height - Holds up to 300 Lb - The lightweight foldable step stool is sturdy enough to support adults & safe enough for kids. Skid resistant and open with one flip

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01LZ0VCQD/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_TINPCbBERP8HJ


Her side in my closet


South Shore Litte Smiley's Changing Table, Chocolate

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BFJ9S1C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_JANPCbP4FX2PG


GAGAKU Baby Diaper Caddy Organizer - Baby Shower Basket Portable Nursery Storage Bin Car Storage Basket for Wipes Toys Tote Bag

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DBXH1BP/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_3MNPCbDNHVK1V


Munchkin Warm Glow Wipe Warmer

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000CNOIQ2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_LJNPCbGX20KF4


mDesign Soft Fabric Dresser Drawer and Closet Storage Organizer Set for Child/Kids Room, Nursery, Playroom, Bedroom - Rectangular Organizer Bins with Textured Print - Set of 4 - Linen/Tan

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B071P9GPV4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_czNPCbQ2QWJHZ

mDesign Soft Fabric Dresser Drawer and Closet Storage Organizer, 8 Section Divided Bin for Child/Kids Room, Nursery, Playroom, Bedroom - Textured Print with Solid Trim, 3 Pack - Gray

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06ZYC4439/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_MNNPCbH4F8YGB


Modish Labels Baby Nursery Closet Dividers, Closet Organizers, Nursery Decor, Baby Girl, Deer, Floral Antlers, Flowers, Woodland

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06WLQ8B5C/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_nBNPCbR1DRJ22


AmazonBasics Kids Velvet Hangers - 30-Pack, Pink Polka Dot

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00FXNAD6U/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_.HNPCbRTDQ9P5


For the kitchen

Philips AVENT Microwave Steam Sterilizer

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VBXKG2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_mMNPCbGSZ1NJY


Boon Bundle Feeding Set

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07KGPWGZJ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_fQNPCbJJKFAD7


Gourmia Jr. Single Baby Bottle Sterilizer and Warmer, Digital Display, Dishwasher-Safe Removable Parts, JBW150, ETL-Certified

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07JZ991WH/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_TQNPCbAMJZFRJ

Not Pictured items

Rustic Wood Frame Gray Felt Letter Board 10x10 inches. 440 White & Gold Letters, Months & Days Cursive Words, Additional Symbols & Emojis, 2 Letter Bags, Scissors, Vintage Stand. by whoaon

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07CKT6S6G/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_qRNPCbYJZKZF8



Fisher-Price Auto Rock 'n Play Sleeper, Aqua Stone

https://www.walmart.com/ip/Fisher-Price-Auto-Rock-n-Play-Sleeper-Aqua-Stone/39577511?wmlspartner=wlpa&adid=22222222228031612947&wl0=&wl1=g&wl2=m&wl3=55217708312&wl4=pla-113855432192&wl5=9003876&wl6=&wl7=&wl8=&wl9=pla&wl10=8175035&wl11=online&wl12=39577511&wl13=&veh=sem&gclid=Cj0KCQjw1pblBRDSARIsACfUG10bahlDvXNs66-ReAkUjjQSfucHTHxORdYUyZ92T0oddQGzOtGb360aAoXjEALw_wcB


Fisher-Price Bath Tub, Rainforest Friends

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BUO464Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_txPPCb7ZEHWCC

So, I totally breastfed one kid and then pumped exclusively for the next, and for the third breastfed a little but mostly pumped and then when I was sick of pumping, I switched to formula.

A couple of things to know about breastmilk production. First is that the initial wave of hormones that triggers the production of breastmilk comes from the delivery of the baby and the placenta. Your milk will come in whether you do anything or not. But, to maintain your supply, you need to empty your breasts and stimulate your nipples about 8 times a day. It doesn't have to be in 2 hour intervals around the clock. A baby doesn't cue to eat at exactly 2 hours around the clock. When you breastfeed you follow the baby's cues. If you are exclusively pumping, then you can pump more frequently in the day and then at night give yourself no more than one 4-6 hour stretch for uninterrupted sleep. Don't go more than six hours without pumping or feeding a baby unless you are trying to decrease your supply, because that is what will happen. If you do go more than six hours, beware that you can get plugged ducts or mastitis. Your supply regulates at 12 weeks, so the first 12 weeks if you want to develop your full supply, it's important to keep up the frequent breast emptying and nipple stimulation. After that, you can go further apart and some people are able to pump as few as 4 times a day with a couple "power pumps" throughout the week (pumping on an off for 10 minutes over a 1 hour period to simulate cluster feeding). But some people need to keep up the eight pumps for the duration of pumping, so you will figure out what works for you. If your goal is not to provide breastmilk only, you can pump less and give some formula, but your supply will tend to gradually dwindle. That might be what works for your family.

Some people do use formula during the very early days of breastfeeding and there is actually evidence that this can increase rates of success because it decreases frustration and allows the baby to have more energy for effective breastfeeding. So you don't have to be afraid of formula. But you do have to stimulate the nipples and empty the breasts. :)

If you are doing a combination of pumping and breastfeeding, the easiest way is to just breastfeed when you are home and then pump when you are away from the baby. In your situation (going back to work), if I liked breastfeeding, I would probably start out breastfeeding and maybe add in 1 extra pump a day if it's not too onerous. Then once your are working, you pump throughout the day while you are away from your baby. Some people breastfeed overnight (this is good for your supply and bad for your level of fatigue), some people use pumped milk or formula. Personally I found this all to onerous with my third, so I mainly pumped because I preferred it to breastfeeding, and my husband and I took turns giving the bottle at night. When I switched to powder formula I would keep bottles prefilled with water and a premeasured formula container at the bedside. Add formula, shake, feed baby. When I went back to school he was 8 weeks, and I rapidly dropped pumps, used up the rest of my freezer milk and guilt free switched to formula. My plan for all future babies is to provide breastmilk for approximately six weeks and then to give formula after that. This is based on my own personal experiences with breastfeeding and my current lifestyle (work full time). You will find what works best for your situation and your family. Some people are able to pump and breastfeed and provide milk for over a year, and they are happy with being able to do so.

Other little tips:

Get a pumping bra or make one by cutting holes in a sports bra.

A lot of moms store their pump parts in the fridge in between pumps and wash and sterilize once a day. This might be an acceptable practice with full term kids (I felt fine doing it with mine after the first six weeks) but for newborns, for milk donation, and especially for any preterm babies it is very important to thoroughly clean the pump parts with soap and water and air dry every single time. Which sucks because preemie moms have enough on their plate, but the evidence suggests that cleaning is an important part of safe milk handling for preemies.

Lastly, I haven't had a chance to try one of these personally (they came on the market after I weaned the last baby) but a lot of my friends have raved about this for use during a feed: https://www.amazon.com/Haakaa-Silicone-Breastfeeding-Manual-Phthalate/dp/B01F8W7CF0

I'm pregnant with my third and still using cloth. People thought the same stuff about us at first. My MIL said she wouldn't be babysitting with them but gladly does.

Side note, we used disposables before and I babysat for a friends kids who used disposables. People would say "cloth is gross" having never used it. Meanwhile I've had wayyyyy more poop explosions with disposables rather than cloth. Enough that my friends daughter would have to be bathed and outfit changed almost every time she pooped at my house. My friend told me it was common at her house too.

Gonna be honest and I was a little turned off by what people were saying at first. But we LOVE cloth over disposables any day. Now my husband and I joke around and make fun of the people at his job who complain how much disposables cost. I couldn't see adding a ton of disposables to a landfill and the chemicals that go into making disposables.

I'll help you out with any questions you have. Feel free to PM me whenever. We've used pretty much every different type and brand available and have stuck with prefolds and covers. I'd say invest in a couple prefolds if you can. I used the small size (yellow edge) from 3 months to over 2 years old. We buy from green mountain diapers or Amazon. You can get 6 of these for $13. Don't be thrown off by the 7-15lbs. That's about the size you'd use them if you wanted to wrap them around baby. We did that in an "angel fold" from newborn to 3 months and then did a trifold after. Also in terms of "prepping" we prep prefolds with regular laundry. So they get washed and dried with other stuff and not wasting the water and soap by themselves.

You don't need 3 swings/rockers - pick one.

You don't need 2 strollers - pick one.

You don't need 2 activity mats - pick one.

You don't need 2 cribs - pick one.

You don't need 2 mattresses - pick one.

You have 3 different bottle types; I'd recommend choosing just one and not bother getting another brand unless your baby has issues with that one. You don't want to unbox, sanitize, etc. and risk not being able to return the other set.

I don't see the point of those "wet and dry wipes" organizer pouches; a ziploc bag works just fine if you want to carry small amounts of wipes with you.

As far as baby carriers go, I recommend Lillebaby over Infantino, hands down. They sell some of their styles in Target, but you can get more on the Lillebaby website or Amazon. You may want opinions from /r/babywearing, or go to a local Babywearing International meeting to try out carriers before choosing one.

Things I don't see:

• Washcloths
  
• Towel/robe
  
• First aid essentials (thermometer, nail clipper, Nose Frida, baby Tylenol, baby Motrin, diaper rash cream, Aquafor, hair brush, shampoo, etc.)
  
• More sheet sets. My daughter just had a nose bleed last night and that means we only have one more fitted sheet that isn't stained in some way. Get more! Haha.
  
• Baby monitor - totally a personal choice, but I recommend one.
  
• Muselin blankets or swaddles. I know you have the velcro swaddles, which are great, but sometimes baby just needs a light blanket in the car seat or in their swing. Even though my daughter is almost 2, we still have a swaddle cloth in her diaper bag. I use it to cover the ground if she wants to play on the floor somewhere that's filthy (like an airport terminal).
  
• Burp cloths. We always used these tri-fold diapers as burp cloths - they're not trendy-looking, but they're cheap and very effective.
  
• Other basic clothing items like footie PJs, pants, hats (since you're having a winter baby, assuming you're in the northern hemisphere), etc.
  
  I always recommend Lucie's List when it comes to having a basic, not-overdone registry. They talk about essentials (not fluff) and sort things by price.
  
  You may also want to post this in /r/beyondthebump rather than here, since everyone in Beyond The Bump have already had a kid.
  
  Good luck!

I'm a FTM and only 17w5d so I obviously have no experience using a diaper bag. As such my recommendation isn't based off "I used this and loved it" but rather it's just based off "I did some basic research and decided to put this on my registry." But here is a Graco diaper bag (backpack) that I found on Amazon. It's the best seller (on Amazon) in diaper bags right now. And it's only ~$26. It isn't very stylish since it's just a super plain black backpack. But it looks pretty function. So if you're OK with sacrificing on style it may be a good option. I partially picked it because I know there is no way my husband will carry a "pretty" diaper bag when he's out without baby without some major complaining about it. So I figured the Graco bag would be something we could both take out with us without feeling weird.

I also saw this one that looks a little more feminine. I've never heard of the company that makes it and it doesn't have a ton of reviews but it's 4.4/5 stars on Amazon at the moment and it's only ~$18. So even if you got it and decided "hey maybe a backpack diaper bag isn't for me" or "I wish I had something with <insert feature here>" you're only out $18. That really appeals to me since I'm a FTM and honestly don't know yet what all I'll end up being willing to pay extra for in terms of features when it comes to a diaper bag. So I'm planning to get something cheaper while I figure out what I like and dislike and then maybe get a slightly nicer/more expensive bag later on when I know what I'm looking for.

This is the stuff I take, if you were wanting to know. It's not hard to find locally either. Whole foods, fresh thyme and even Sam's club has it.

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Supplement-Raspberry-Lemon/dp/B00BPUY3W0

Hope it helps, good luck mama!💖💖💖

No baby here yet (I'm due 3 days before you and still haven't popped yet!), but I have a few book recommendations. Your boyfriend might enjoy the first because it's amusing and not really overwhelming, called The Baby Owner's Manual. I am currently reading Mayo Clinic's Guide to Baby's First Year, which is more clinical but VERY detailed. I really enjoyed the mayo clinic pregnancy book because it wasn't as scare-tactic as some of the others (like What to Expect) but still gave good, evidence-based information. Speaking of evidence-based, I read and thoroughly enjoyed The Science of Mom, which is kind of like Expecting Better but for baby's first year of life. It goes over a lot of scientific studies, if that's your thing!

I was/am in the exact same boat - first kid, limited funds, starting from scratch, going through reviews and prices drove me insane. It took me probably three months to get my registry together, and, even then, I am still switching things up, lol.

lucieslist.com was invaluable while picking everything out. I highly recommend you check it out.

What we have bought ourselves that fit our tight budget:

Graco Comfy Cruiser Travel System. We had already decided to go with that car seat, given that it seems to be the top-rated budget option, and the stroller ended up being a much-needed bonus. We go on walks a lot, so it works for us. If you don't need the stroller, the seat itself is, I think, only ~$100.

The Pack N Play, which I've heard from literally everyone and their mother is almost a necessity.

Because we don't have an IKEA near us to get our hands on a swanky $99 crib, we bought this DaVinci crib. We still only ended up paying $100 for it, as we found it on sale, however, we would have paid the $200 for it, given that the reviews are good, and, when compared to some other cribs that cost $400 and up, the price isn't bad at all.

As for the rest of the registry, we have on there a Moby wrap (affordable baby wearing, yay!), nail clippers, outlet plugs, nursing pads, a wipes case, a baby tub, baby wash, assorted crib sheets, waterproof crib sheets, Pack N Play mattress, and sheets to go with, crib mattress (we actually bought this one when we found it on sale for $20, and it's just fine), receiving blankets, dirty diaper bags (because we aren't getting a diaper pail, just a small can with a seal-able lid), changing pad, and a cover to go with, pacifiers, Dr. Brown's Gia Nursing Pillow, a bottle brush, bottle warmer, thermometer, booger sucker, camera to monitor the baby, and a few other assorted things that I couldn't really find a definitive "best in class" for, so pick at your own discretion: diaper bag, swaddles (although I've read good things about the Summer Infant brand), bottles (we're going with Phillips Avent), a bouncer (we got this one), and a swing.

I agonized over this stuff for what felt like forever, lol, so I hope it helps you and saves you some hair-pulling. It's all so overwhelming!

I also have a bunch of stuff on my registry that is inexpensive ($10-$25) for friends and if my coworkers decide to do a shower here which they have done for other new moms in the past. Here are some of the things I have on mine
Sleeping gowns so you don't have to unsnap the onesie for midnight changes

A baby tub

Tub Thermometer

Baby thermometer

Nose Frieda which others have mentioned

preferred bath/care products

Cloth diaps which make fantastic burp cloths/cleanup

Nursing pillow also good for tummy time


Plus some other odds and ends. People will also buy stuff that they like, so you'll probably get stuff that was not on your list and that is ok. You can also request to have a "diapers n wipes" shower which a friend did since she was on her 4th child, and she probably got 2 months worth of diapers and wipes out of it if not more. Also, make sure you get multiple covers for your changing pad, it'll be nice to have more than 1 when it needs washing! Congratulations!

Deep clean the bathroom - especially the tub. They'll tell you to take lots of baths to help with postpartum healing, and that will be nicer in a sparkly clean tub.

If you think you have enough burp cloths, buy a few more. I did not anticipate just how useful they are.

Buy this thing. It looks silly, but it's so much better than the one the hospital gives you that it not even funny. Dermaplast and Tucks pads are great, but this thing brought me the most relief of all.

While you're at it, stock up on granola bars and instant oatmeal. They're faster than fast food. Our freezer space is limited, so meal prep was impossible. But granola and oatmeal are shelf stable.

Get a few novels. Infants like to hear your voice, but their comprehension isn't there yet so it doesn't matter what you say. It's nice to read while nursing. For the first weeks they don't actually look at picture books, so you can read anything you want, not just baby books.

Find out what the daycare wants you to have in advance. That way you don't have to go shopping on your way home with the baby on the first day to pick up the things you didn't know they would need.

Get a box to stash the clothes baby grows out of. It happens sooner than you may think. I was sure that mine would be in newborn clothes still when I returned to work. He grew out of them in just over three weeks. He's now working on outgrowing all his socks.

And then get more burp cloths. Not kidding.

I take some pretty pricey vitamins, but I have been told that these vitamins are similar to the ones I take, but cheaper. They are a whole food vitamin which means that they are vitamins taken from food products that you could actually eat, so it makes it easy to digest and easier for your body to absorb plus they don't make your tummy hurt. A lot of cheaper vitamins are sometimes sourced from non food items like the calcium will be from oyster shells or dolomite. Everyone has their own opinion, and I'm not saying my way is the best way, I just like what I take, and I like how I feel. So, here are a couple links.
Cheaper whole food vitamin: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000FK9GZK
Some info on calcium: http://wikbio.com/en/The-best-and-worst-calcium-supplements
Just in case you are wondering this is the one I take: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B005JAT3TU

Get one of these, seriously. So useful, and cute. People like buying useful and cute:

https://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Newborn-Lounger-Elephant-Love/dp/B014A7MABU?th=1

​

I use this diaper pail and like it, it takes any garbage bags and I feel is better looking than some options out there:

​

https://www.amazon.com/Ubbi-Saving-Special-Required-Locking/dp/B00821FLSU/ref=sr_1_2_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1537453291&sr=1-2&keywords=ubbi

​

Diapers, wipes, crib sheets, crib mattress pads, changing pad, changing pad cover (depending on the kind of changing pad, some do not require them). Bottles,swing/bouncer, playmat. One of my son's early favorite was a kick and play piano:

​

https://www.amazon.com/MooToys-Kick-Play-Newborn-Piano/dp/B07DWTMNKR/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1537453105&sr=1-1-spons&keywords=kick+and+play&psc=1

​

Bath supplies, lotions, diaper creme. I would avoid putting clothes on there. If there is something super special you love, just buy it (if you can afford to). People will pick out whatever clothes/toyus/blankets they want. Stroller, carseat. People often refrain from asking for these more expensive things, but I think its fine. If it is something you would buy yourself, it is okay to ask for it. And honestly, the expensive stuff went off my registry first.

Try magnesium! Colace didn't do a thing for me, but I started taking a magnesium supplement before bed every night, and I am now the most regular and easy pooping girl you'd ever know. This is the stuff I got (https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Organic-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1473267595&sr=8-1&keywords=calm%2Bmagnesium) -- but I found it locally in the health section at my normal supermarket for like $15, I didn't pay $25!!
You stir it in water & drink it, it tastes like overly sweet lemonade, and works like a charm for me!

I never had a dock a tot, but we use the shit out of our boppy infant lounger.

We got one for our shower with our first daughter along with the normal C shaped boppy, which we never used. We use it for bottle feeding and just setting her down when need be. As she grows and gets longer, her feet just hang over the age, so we used it with our first daughter until she was about a year old. There were times we let the kids sleep in it, but it's not recommended for sleeping (but you have to do what you have to do). I was always pretty comfortable putting the kids in it to sleep until they started rolling. It seemed to help with our second because she had a bit of reflux and she was propped up a bit.

I've literally washed it a million times, sewn the seams together twice (it gets a lot of use, not that it's cheaply made), it's traveled with us everywhere. We use it inside and outside, etc.

The only downside i've found is that my cat loves it, so we have to kick him off constantly.

I nursed my son for 18 months, including pumping at work for months 3-12.

For bottles, I'd start with the Medela ones that come with your pump. Some babies are picky and some aren't - my kiddo would take breastmilk from a garden hose. If baby is not into these, go from there.

For your pump, double check to make sure it will come with some kind of cold-storage bag and ice pack. I have the PISA tote bag one from when my 4yo was a baby, and it came with this, but I bought it myself so I don't know about the insurance options. You might also be interested in milk storage bags or some other longer-term milk storage solution as you pump more.

Finally, I'd recommend having some flat cloth diapers around in addition to nursing pads. After a few washes, they're super absorbent and perfect for spitup messes, overspray when your kiddo gets distracted and lets go of the nipple, and putting in your bra while you sleep in case you end up on your belly and start leaking!

Kimono-style shirts for while cord is still attached.

https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-3-Ply-Prefold-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVWE/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1487257675&sr=8-1&keywords=cloth+diaper
These are great as burp cloths and wiping up milk while feeding.

Muslin blankets are our favorite. I got a 4-pack of Aden & Anais blankets and we use them every day. They were good for swaddling early on. They don't take up a lot of space.

Scratch mitts! Your baby will scratch its face otherwise.

We barely used our bathtub. You could probably skip it for now and just sponge bathe your baby as needed. They don't get really dirty and frequent baths dries out their skin anyway. I sponge bathe once or twice a week.

A few pacifiers to try. Our kiddo likes the Dr. Browns.

Saline spray for when you use the Nose Frieda.

Cold mist humidifier if your air is dry.

Nursing pillow. Nipple ointment. Nursing tanks for you.

I just use a towel on the bed for diaper changes.

Subscribe to Enfamil and Similac and they'll send you formula sample containers, so you can just keep something on hand in case you need to or choose to supplement at some point.

DAPPLE! This cleans bottle parts a lot better than regular dish soap.

Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way have been two fantastic resources for me. I highly recommend them if you're more into the natural side of childbirth, and I even found them to be a great prep for what's to come even though I haven't really made my mind up about natural vs. ... whatever else happens that day lol. But I felt that they gave a more accurate (and positive) description of what birth is like than any other source I've read so far.

EDIT: for links

What a terrifying and anxiety inducing situation. As a sexual assault survivor myself, I highly recommend you check out [When Survivors Give Birth] (https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1594040222/ref=cm_cr_arp_mb_bdcrb_top?ie=UTF8). Although this is targeted at childhood sexual assault, I found it very helpful when dealing with my own pregnancy and how I will approach labor.

Please seek help, before and after delivery. Find a care professional that understands your situation and empathizes (mine, for example, does as few physical checks as she can and ALWAYS announces things first: "Im going to touch your leg, is that okay? Now I'm going to touch your labia, is that okay?").

As someone with long term PTSD, I suggest you also look into therapy or prolonged exposure therapy. Familiarize yourself with PPD symptoms as well.

Above all else: you are loved, you are valued. You need not feel shame, guilt, or like you are broken. This is something done to you and whatever you did or didn't do was exactly what was right for you in the situation you were in. Learn, most importantly, to disregard unhelpful advice: recognize the good intentions of strangers, but brush off advice and comments that dont sit right with you. They are not worth stewing over.

You. Are. Valuable.
You. Are. Loved.

Edit: I also recommend not going to birthing classes, but instead watch Prenatal Classes on youtube if being in that environment is going to be difficult on you.

Swaddle Blankets

Burp Cloths


Bottles. I've had a lot of friends that love the playtex drop-ins

If you're going to breastfeed pick some pads for yourself along with some nipple cream. I liked motherlove.

Swing, rock n play or bouncer so that you have a place to set baby down to accomplish dishes/shower.

activity gym/play mat


That's all I can think of off the top of my head.

Having a history of rape may complicate your delivery somewhat. Not in terms of your physical health, but the mental and emotional aspects of it. Being vulnerable, on your back with people touching your genitals and giving you directives and causing pain is likely going to be triggering. I definitely think it is possible for you to go through a delivery and have the professionals around you keep this information to themselves.
However, having everyone in the room full of patience and understanding might be the greater good than keeping the secret from your SO.
I was raped repeatedly for years and only got around to telling my husband 7 years into our relationship. You sound kind of like me in that you are a matter of fact, down to business kind of gal. I didn’t want my husband to look at me differently or to try to comfort me. I processed these experiences over a decade ago and I wasn’t interested in processing them again, but he needed to know due to some clusterfuckery that I wont get into here. My providers will need to know for when I deliver because there are certain positions that trigger flashbacks for me and I don’t want to be put into them unless it is an emergency. When I told my husband, I prefaced it with, “I’m going to talk for a while and I need you to listen without interrupting. What I am about to say, I have already dealt with. I don’t want to go into details. I don’t need a hug. I don’t need a shoulder to cry on, but you need to know. Please ask me follow up questions if you need clarity. I have the number to a counselor if you would like to talk t out with someone, because as much as I love you, I can’t talk you though this.” I then gave him a cliffs notes version of the Who what when where. He asked some clarification questions and we moved on.
There is no law that says you need to tell him, but it might be easier than you think. Also, this book might be up your alley. I haven’t read t yet, but I plan to. The author is basically the mother of all doulas and has birth and everything that goes with it expertly explained in her other books.

When Survivors Give Birth: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Early Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women https://www.amazon.com/dp/1594040222/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_us5CAbJTDFFBH

I started Expexting Better but I'm not a numbers/data person so it came across as irritating to me. Tons of people like it and recommend it though so it's worth a shot!

My midwife recommended Ina May's Guide to Childbirth and The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. A doula friend recommended anything by Dr. Sears.

I know grapefruit juice is supposed to help with swelling, although I didn't try it myself during/after my pregnancy (I had swelling everywhere but especially my feet for the last couple months of being pregnant as well as a week or so post partum).

What really helped me was magnesium, specifically this stuff. It helps with sleep and constipation too, which is also nice! :)

My hospital offered a deal where you can do the 5-week childbirth class, the one-time newborn care class, and the one-time breastfeeding class for $90.

There's also an organization here called Healthy Start that offers free classes. We're doing the free childbirth class now, and will take a combo of breastfeeding/newborn care in August.

The downside of these classes is you don't get the specialized methods you would get from a private instructor, like Bradley or hypnobabies. The class we're in has been very general, although still helpful... mainly because the instructor is very familiar with the hospital where I'm delivering, so she has given us a lot of hospital-specific tips.

EDIT: I'm also going for natural, and this book was recommended to me. The pictures are pretty dated, but so far I do like the content!

Thanks for the advice!! And for the Silicone Breast Pump!! link for the u.s.

I actually had no idea that this was even a thing until my mom had mentioned something to me the other day. She told me I would have to put a towel or something over my other breast while the baby was eating. I had NO IDEA!! So, this thing is going on my registry.

Also, she's SUPER ADORABLE!! I love those eyes!!

My baby was also super active when I’m on my side and it would keep me up. I bought this pillow wedge from Amazon (link below) that lets me lie on my back while not being completely flat. It’s my favorite and as I got bigger, it really helped to have the wedge tucked under my belly for more support when I do get to laying on my side.

hiccapop pregnancy wedge

I take Vitamin Code Raw [These](http://www.Garden.com/ of Life Vitamin Code Raw Prenatal Vegetarian Multivitamin Supplement with Folate, Iron, Probiotics & Ginger | Non-GMO, Dairy & Gluten Free, Best Whole Food Vitamin for Mom & Baby, 180 Capsules https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JAT3TU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_6BrTBbNWRAJ29)

This website has some helpful resources that could be passed on to clients and/or medical staff. This article is directed toward midwives, but I would think many of the suggestions would be applicable in a hospital setting as well. Finally, this book is recommended on a lot of different sites, so maybe you could make sure there's a copy on hand available for medical staff.

We use an expedit as a changing table. We used to use the long expedit, but now use the smaller four cubby expedit. It doesn't seem more narrow than any other changing table, though, because it perfectly fits the changing pad we have (which straps onto the table). We have boxes that fit into the cubbies where we keep the wipes, diapers etc.
We just had several of them in the house already, so it made sense to see if it worked for us before buying something unnecessarily. So far it's worked well for us for 2 years!

I really like and trust my OB, so I asked her for recommendations. I looked online for reviews on the three docs she recommended, then called their offices to see if they were accepting new patients. Only one was. She has regular meet and greets with new potential patients, so I signed up for one of those in July. After the meet and greet my husband and I will decide whether to go with her as our pediatrician.

The Mayo Clinic Guide to Your Baby's First Year (don't get the kindle edition--the formatting is terrible) has a section on picking a pediatrician, family doctor, or nurse practitioner for your baby. They also have a list of questions to ask.

Vegan and 20 weeks here! My doctor was similarly unconcerned and even when other people express concern I just point out that all the foods doctor's tell you that you can't eat (packaged deli meat, unpasteurized dairy, sushi, etc.) are all non-vegan anyways! My iron is on the low side naturally (even from 10+ years ago when I ate meat) so she said to work on it if I can, and if it's lower by the time I'm in my third trimester she'll have me take an iron supplement, but since then I've just been more deliberate about ensuring I have iron in every meal (oats are a great source of iron for breakfast!) Also, these are the two vitamins I take. Make sure to take DHA if your prenatal doesn't have it: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000V865DW/ref=sr_ph?ie=UTF8&qid=1454646554&sr=1&keywords=deva+vegan+prenatal, http://www.amazon.com/Vegan-Vitamins-Softgels-90-Count-Bottle/dp/B002XDQSSK/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1454646534&sr=8-3&keywords=deva+vegan

4th degree tear here, it gets better but it feels like it won't for a while.
I was given an inflatable cushion to sit on and I absolutely had to use it while sitting.

There were days when I really didn't think I was healing, and then around 6 weeks I started feeling way better, by 8 weeks I felt almost normal. It sounds like a long time when you're in the bleeding shit hole that is post-partum, but it will blur together.


I bought the fridababy momwasher (https://www.amazon.com/FridaBaby-006-Fridababy-Fridet-MomWasher/dp/B00VO65XB0)
I liked it better than the perri bottle.


Those ice packs the hospital gives out were essential for the first couple days, then I used witch hazel pads and dermoplast on huge hospital pads. They helped cool everything down and stop itching.

Take motrin for the pain and stool softeners for longer than you think you have to. I stopped because I thought the first poo was the part I had to worry about and regretted it.

Drink a ton of water, this is not nether region related but my ankles reaaallly swelled about 4 days PP and the only cure was drinking a ton of water. Be sure you remember to eat. With learning how to breast feed and being in pain, I didn't want to eat PP either.

Good luck and enjoy the babe!

Top Five:

Wallpaper is removable so great for renters or temporary designs! It’s from Target’a website and can be found here:
https://www.target.com/p/dots-peel-stick-wallpaper-gold-roommates/-/A-53981725

Matching polka dot bins are great for diaper and wipe storage under the changing pad! Also Target:
https://www.target.com/p/large-polka-dot-toy-storage-bin-white-gold-pillowfort-8482/-/A-51666513

Nightstand is great for holding extra blankets:
https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/malm-2-drawer-chest-white-80214549/

Picture ledge which is handy for books because of the lip on the front:
https://www.ikea.com/us/en/p/mosslanda-picture-ledge-white-40291766/

Rocker from Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/Windsor-Glider-Ottoman-White-Cushion/dp/B017XRDV5S/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=glider&qid=1574280370&sr=8-3

This is the one I got: https://www.amazon.com/Graco-Gotham-Organizer-System-Diaper/dp/B00HZO7F98/ref=zg_bs_166767011_1

I haven't tried out with baby, but I LOVE how many pockets it has, plus it has an insulated bottle pocket on the side plus a baby wipe pocket so you can quickly grab a wipe for fast clean-ups. I really avoided the over-the-shoulder style since I hate them, and backpacks just seem more comfortable. It'll be like college again lol

Vegan here, I take the Deva Vegan Prenatal Vitamin, it's fortified with things people on a plant-based diet may be deficient in, such as extra iron and B vitamins. It's pretty affordable on Amazon, as well. I've used their vitamins for years and they're really great. She would be well-advised to find a separate DHA supplement by the third trimester, Deva makes a veg version.

Wow. That is awful!

Did you get a hand pump as a back up after that? It’s a good back up for folks that can’t afford a full second pump.

I’ve heard good things about the Haakaa and put it on my registry.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01F8W7CF0/ref=mp_s_a_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1527714056&sr=8-2&keywords=haakaa+breastpump&dpPl=1&dpID=51y0lBYeyEL&ref=plSrch

I'm 26+2 and just bought a wedge-shaped memory foam pillow and it has been awesome so far. It's easy to move it around at night between my legs, or supporting my back or belly.

https://www.amazon.com/hiccapop-Pregnancy-Maternity-Pillows-Support/dp/B01KG84CLI/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1494854972&sr=8-1&keywords=hiccapop

Like others I take the garden of Life prenatal. It's vegetarian, but that's not why I got it as I am definitely a meat eater. I looked for folate instead of folic acid as well. They suggest three a day and with you mentioning issues with absorbing them this might help by taking one, three times daily.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B005JAT3TU/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

For DHA I take Nordic Naturals. They were also highly reviewed and don't taste funny at all. I've never had stomach issues or constipation issues due to my pills. Not to say my digestive system hasn't been wonky during pregnancy, just not caused by these, lol.

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B0062CW1BG/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

These Raw Prenatals are considered to be some of the best on the market. They are small because you are supposed to take three spread throughout the day which makes them easier to swallow and easier on your tummy.

I take a magnesium citrate supplement in the evenings that makes me very tired. I usually take it an hour or so before I plan to go to sleep. I told my OB about it and she had no concerns but obv consult yours first if it’s not something you have run by them in the past.

This is the one I use:
Natural Vitality Natural Calm Diet Supplement, Raspberry Lemon, 16 Ounce https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00BPUY3W0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_KuHYBbK1TEVF0

I've heard the Gerber pre folds have declined in quality. I went for the [OsoCozy] (https://www.amazon.com/dp/B003AJHDQW/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_f3URCbTVMJ1NA) and love them. Super thick!

The only help I can give is that you really don't need a changing table. Buy a dresser that you like for the nursery, put a portable/washable changing pad on top (something like this: http://www.amazon.com/Summer-Infant-Contoured-Changing-Pad/dp/B009EDSWJA) and you're all set to go.

We have one on our son's dresser along with a basket that carries our diapers, creams, lotions, etc... Son won't outgrow it, like many babies do changing tables, and the piece of furniture that we bought can be used well into his teens.

Definitely! And once y'all are ready, I highly recommend the Mayo Clinic Guide to Your Baby's First Year. A similar sort of practical helpfulness.

Natural Calm to help with the hip cramps! Within 2 days, my leg cramps were gone.
http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Calm-Raspberry-Lemon-16/dp/B00BPUY3W0

Just hang in there...I'm at 38 weeks and so miserable in this Texas heat but the good news is that the baby WILL come at some point!

I also recommend trying to bring baby and husband with you to the wedding for reasons mentioned by other posters.


If you would feel more comfortable with baby at home, I’d recommend getting the haakaa to build up a little supply for when you are gone. You suction it to the opposing breast when breastfeeding and it collects leakage/let down. I wish I had it in the beginning days when I was leaking everywhere. This way you don’t have to worry about pumping!

Epidural will also result in a fever after a while.

I was fortunate enough to not get a foley bulb...I feel like so much has changed in the last 10 years, because I'd never heard of it before reading "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth"

I loved The Bradley book. It's the only book that I've found that has explanations on what muscles, hormones, etc do what during labor, and what baby does during labor with their reflexes, etc. It has a lot of hokey relaxation techniques but I mostly skipped those and just read about the science. Just knowing what your muscles & hormones are doing during labor helps dramatically.

I hate lanolin/the idea of wool grease, but MotherLove makes a really nice organic and (minus the beeswax) plant-based one of you ever decide you want to try something else. I like it!

Here's the link if you're interested: Motherlove Nipple Cream Certified Organic Salve for Sore Cracked Nursing Nipples, 1 Oz. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0007CQ726/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_VKOFxbT6WEZ29

Yes it’s this one glider

Ours is about 2 years old and has held up great.

See also The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth. It addresses all of the issues on this list plus more; in particular, I was interested in the information about the dangerously, stupidly high incidence of C-section in this country. I feel it is much better to educate myself now than to assume my OB is going to make all the best decisions later.

you should get one of these! There are YouTube videos of them in action, but on the advice of other cat owner moms to be, they're the best! I've already grabbed a couple for my troublesome two, lol.

Absolutely essential for us. I have a basset hound who LOVES to roll in poop and can smell the moment my mom opens a bag of licorice from two blocks away. There's no way we could dispose of a dirty diaper in a regular trash can - we'd have to take it straight outside after every change... and that's not going to happen 12 times a day or at all hours of the night. We have the Ubbi Steel Diaper Can and I 10/10 recommend. Been using it almost a year now and it damn near eliminates the stink while closed (formula fed baby, too!) - my hound doesn't even realize it's there, and he lays right next to it during diaper changes. Works much better than my brother's diaper genie or munchkin can. It also has a locking lid, which is a life saver now that my son is running around and getting into everything. I love that I can throw any bag I want into it, too, unlike other diaper cans - this alone about offsets the price difference over its lifetime. We empty it every three-ish days - easy as pie.

ETA - I purchased this pack of trash bags before my son was born and we're just now getting to the last maybe 5 bags on the third roll... so even if you do use the actual Ubbi bags you're looking at $20 for a years' worth.

Yeah! I almost forgot to mention peri bottles my favorite one is the mom washer it's very inexpensive on amazon

I really enjoyed "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth."

There is a product called "ssscat" our cats get locked out of our room and they tear up the carpet under it to show their displeasure. I finally bought this and it's been a MIRACLE!!! (Wish I woulda bought it BEFORE the carpet was destroyed...)

https://www.amazon.com/Innotek-SSSCAT-Cat-Training-Aid/dp/B000RIA95G

Yes, I would recommend the book. For me it was very informative about pregnancy, labor, and medications. It is biased on having a natural birth, but like I said, it explains all the other options.

http://smile.amazon.com/Natural-Childbirth-Bradley-Way-Revised/dp/0452276594

The book "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" has great research backing its information on birth and the medical interventions that can be performed and what their risks are.

I've heard the milk catchers are good for sexy times when we can leak.

I'm going to be using an affordable passive collection silicone pump ( this model ) to collect the milk from my other breast during nursing.

I'd suggest taking a magnesium supplement, it helps you relax so you can stay asleep. I take this every night: http://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Organic-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1464977638&sr=8-2&keywords=natural+calm+magnesium+16oz

Windsor Glider and Ottoman, White with Gray Cushion https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017XRDV5S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_E6VCyb4HNJXHW

There's the link. I love it so much!

Check out this book! I've been reading it and it's great. https://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Babys-First/dp/1561487503

We hardly ever used the regular c-shaped Boppy (I did not breastfeed) but we got a TON of use out of the Boppy Newborn Lounger. So good for laying baby down anywhere, and it has a handle so it's easy to carry with you from room to room.

I love this one: http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1561487503/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1397573328&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40

Yup! We have a clothes rack for drying inside (apartment) and it works really well. I’d probably recommend prefolds for your inserts, because you can clip them flat. I’ve found that the fancy ones that snap in tend to take a lot longer to dry at the edges, and you wind up having to dry them right-side out and then flip them inside out to finish them.

Prefolds: https://www.amazon.com/OsoCozy-Prefolds-Unbleached-Absorbent-Best-Selling/dp/B003AJHDQW

Fancy ones: https://www.amazon.com/GroVia-Certified-Organic-Cotton-Diapering/dp/B002KKQBK6

I take both a prenatal & a DHA, purchased from Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B005JAT3TU/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s00?ie=UTF8&th=1

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0039LF25A/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o03_s01?ie=UTF8&psc=1

The prenatal has folate instead of folic acid which is supposed to be better (folic acid is the synthetic form of folate)?

Mother's Love worked great for me. It can also double as diaper cream.

They say this stuff is great - going to give it a shot in our bassinet.

Ssscat - motion activate squirt of air.

I have seen alot of people suggesting this I don't know if it works good or not.
Some also suggest foil, plastic wrap or double tape, but none of these would stop my cat.. he'd probably have fun with the foil and plastic wrap... I'll start with a spray bottle then we'll see!

Thanks! I bought it off Amazon. Here is the link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B2QU5YW/ref=cm_sw_r_udp_awd_5Ikptb0HB4M0A

I don't know how good it will be but I got the Mayo Clinic Guide since I have found their pregnancy book very helpful.

I don't think there's one nearby, but is this the stuff you're talking about?

I apparently need this miracle powder lol.

Get the vag-sprayer that has the flipped nozzle.

I didn't and then I had carpal tunnel so bad I couldn't feel my fingertips. It wasn't impossible to to use the one the hospital provided but the flipped nozzle would've been easier.

I would check out this book. Admittedly, I haven't read it in a few years because I bought it when I was pregnant with my son, who is almost 3. But it really helps identify some issues that you might want to have an opinion on, and helps look at some evidence without having a clear bias.

With that being said, no one can stop you from eating if you want to. And if you don't want to fight about it, just go eat in the bathroom ;)

FYI - for the price of a Poang (showing as $159 for me) you can def get a glider on Amazon. Their bestseller is only $125..

Thanks!
Summer Infant Contoured Changing Pad https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009EDSWJA?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

My cats think foil is a fun game. To keep them out of trouble, I bought a couple of these. It really freaked them out at first, but it definitely works! The motion sensor bit is a little skittish but once you get it set you can ignore it. Highly recommended!

I put this under my tree: http://www.amazon.com/Ssscat-PDT00-13914-SSSCAT-Cat-Training/dp/B000RIA95G

None of my cats touch the tree anymore :)

So, would this be something like this? https://www.amazon.com/Gerber-Birdseye-3-Ply-Prefold-Diapers/dp/B007VBYVWE/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1506274314&sr=8-3&keywords=burp+cloths

Check this out at Amazon.com
Graco Gotham Smart Organizer System Back Pack Diaper Bag, Black/Grey https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00HZO7F98/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_apa_AGkqzbRX82NJX

I’ve had my eye on this one but am holding off until we get the needs vs the wants. I have no idea if this is good quality for the price ($130), so suggestions are welcome.

Windsor Glider and Ottoman, White with Gray Cushion https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017XRDV5S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_cw.ZCb79TQBVP

Amazon has a checklist feature that really helped me build my registry as a FTM. There's also a "Good, Better, Best" checklist that has honest, unbiased reviews of products in each category to highlight the "covers all of the bases, minimal bells and whistles, low cost" to the "all of the crazy shit you will never need but costs a million dollars!"

Here are a couple of things that I selected based on those lists and reviews here:

Breastfeeding pillow

Booger sucker

Wipe warmer (I also picked out a stand for it to protect the dresser I'll be using as a changing station)

Washable organic nipple pads... to answer your question they absorb leaking milk so your shirts don't look like they're crying all the time. disposables exist, too, but I figure why spend more money throwing them away when you can just toss them in the wash. This pack had enough pairs that it's not like you'll run out in between laundry loads, especially with baby making messes!


Motherlove Nipple Cream becaude apparently your nipples will become the Sahara.

Came here to recommend Penny Simkin's The Birth Partner and Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth (already recommended) along with Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way.

I’m using Deva vegan prenatals. They’re pretty inexpensive on Amazon. They look a look a little sketchy but they have a decent review on labdoor.

You need to get one of these. We have four cats and got a couple of these to keep them off counters and out of baby's room. It works so well that if they even SEE the can, they don't go near it. There are YouTube videos of these in action if you want to see how well they work.

I'm a first timer, so I have no experience post-pregnancy, but my nips have been tortured since early on. I got this stuff on Amazon and it is a life saver. It works so well that I only have to use it a couple times a week to keep everything hydrated and happy for several days at a time.

https://www.amazon.com/hiccapop-Pregnancy-Maternity-Pillows-Support/dp/B01KG84CLI This is one of my favorite things so far! I use it under my belly when I am sleeping in bed and it keeps my belly from pulling on my hips and lower back.

I have a very similar-looking one from Amazon! It's listed for $129 now.

These and these are the ones someone had recommended in a previous thread

I have that changing table but have this pad: Summer Infant Contoured Changing Pad (16.5 X 32.5 Inches) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B009EDSWJA/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_6Z14xbQRRKDFV

It fits snug lengthwise but has a 2" or so gap widthwise. It isn't a problem because the pad is contoured, and I use the gap for wipes, lotion, etc.

Amazon has it https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00B2QU5YW/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_awd_MVTxwbWF795RH

I went with this one. A lot of moms in my Facebook mom group raved about it and it's through Amazon Prime, so easy to return if things don't work out :D

According to Henci Goer there is documented links with the hormonal balance and synthetic interventions.

https://www.amazon.com/When-Survivors-Give-Birth-Understanding/dp/1594040222

Put one of these in front of it!

Thirding (fourthing?) magnesium! I drink Natural Calm every couple of nights.

I drank this in a glass of water before bed with my first pregnancy and it helped: https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Organic-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0

https://www.amazon.com/FridaBaby-006-Fridababy-Fridet-MomWasher/dp/B00VO65XB0/ref=asc_df_B00VO65XB0/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=198079638645&hvpos=1o2&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8437128229911092654&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9005292&hvtargid=pla-393808505021&psc=1

I bought the Fridet

The hospital will also give me a peri bottle, so I plan on keeping one in each bathroom so I'm not carrying it around.

She is on the boppy lounger https://www.amazon.com/Boppy-Newborn-Lounger-Elephant-Love/dp/B014A7MABU/ref=sr_1_4_s_it?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1521980374&sr=1-4&keywords=boppy%2Blounger&th=1. It's really convenient to have!

[](Windsor Glider and Ottoman, White with Gray Cushion https://www.amazon.com/dp/B017XRDV5S/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_KfvYCbVDG1YHF)

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017XRDV5S

This one!

I have this and it's so comfortable https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B017XRDV5S?colid=2164SR4HZB10Q&coliid=I2F2ZOBYMHGA0W&ref=br_ADD_TO_CART_title_link

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B017XRDV5S

Fox Blanket

Glider

Baby Fox Chair

6 Cube Organizer

Fox Lamp

My SIL swears by this stuff for her two cats! Sorry for the long link, I'm on mobile. http://www.amazon.com/Ssscat-KIT19001-SSSCAT-Cat-Training/dp/B000RIA95G

Try Natural Calm! This stuff saved me in the 3rd trimester after having the worst charlie horse of my life.

Look into the Haakaa manual pump. It costs around $25 and is literally just one piece that you suction on while LO is feeding on the other side. It catches all your letdown and you can get several ounces with each feeding. I hated using an electric pump because it's such a process and honestly wasn't comfortable for me. I got 8 oz from one feeding with the Haakaa pump and it would've taken me hours and several pumping sessions to get the same amount with the electric.

I was getting horrendous daily headaches at the start of my second trimester (26 weeks now) and am not Pre-e. My midwife and doula both suggested taking Magnesium. So I ordered some off of Amazon (https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Organic-Raspberry/dp/B00BPUY3W0?th=1)

No idea if its placebo or not, but it seems to have done WONDERS. I rarely if ever wake up with a headache anymore (unless I forget to take some). Might be worth looking into?

I had a natural birth in a hospital. I think as long as you go in there knowing exactly what you want and your husband is on the same page so he can be your advocate when you can't do it yourself you will get everything you need.

I decided to use the Bradley Method (husband coached childbirth) for my labor. I really think it helped, I didn't take the classes but I bought 2 books about it. I felt prepared with the information I had.

As soon as I went in I made it known to everyone what I wanted. No meds, intermittent monitoring and necessary staff only. Literally the only person I saw the whole time was my nurse every couple hours. My water broke before I got to the hospital but no contractions, they literally walked in with pitocin and if I didn't know any better I would have let them give it to me! I told them I didn't want it, the doctor let me know that was ok but if by midnight I didn't start contracting I had to or baby was at risk. Luckily by 7pm everything got going on its own, I labored for 12 hours in the dark with my husband by my side and only saw any other hospital staff when I pushed, as soon as my baby was born everyone left the room and we got 2 hours together alone to nurse and get some rest.