(Part 2) Best products from r/FemdomCommunity

So he likes to be "manhandled" which is great, but what do you get out of it? My suggestion is for you to figure out what you want from this kind of relationship and just go for it. He will tell you if it isn't working for him and it solves the whole problem him "topping from the bottom" by telling you what to do.

You mention the problem with maintaining an erection on the idea of a cock ring which suggests that that is an area where you would like to see improvement so I would say go ahead. I would start with a shoelace and tie it around the base of his cock and around his balls. That would certainly improve my erection. Don't leave it on for more than 30-60 minutes or at least check to make sure he is still OK with it.

If that doesn't work for you there is always a double-penis gag or a cock sheath.

Of course you could always just tie his hands and ride his face and force him to pleasure you that way.

The Mistress Manual, Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual and [The Art Of Sensual Female Dominance] (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0806520892) are all books about Female Dominance in some fashion or another. They are written by women, are quite readable and have overall good stuff going on for all of them. I can't recommend one specifically as an end all be all but I know each of them has good things to offer.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink is also a really great resource but it talks about a huge range of stuff and all of the essays are written by different people. It's not specifically about F/m but a nice general overview of all sorts of kinky activities.

Also, reading them to her in bed is adorable.

So, I don't know if what I have to say is at all helpful, and mostly I wanted to comment because I'm a little jealous at your willingness to server, lately it feels like my "puppy" is just along for the ride...but enough about me.

As far as being a new dom and books... I read a wide variety of both informational and fantasy books. I think a mix of both gave me many more ideas and options to think about and it was easier for me to pick things I liked that way. BUT The number one thing that helped was getting online and watching/reading information from other doms and subs. Asking questions and so on. I'm sorry I don't have actual book names for you. (If I think of specific ones I will get back to you!)

http://www.amazon.com/The-Mistress-Manual-Female-Dominance/dp/1890159190/ref=cm_lmf_tit_3

http://www.amazon.com/The-Sexually-Dominant-Woman-Beginners/dp/1890159115/ref=cm_lmf_tit_7

http://www.amazon.com/Screw-Roses-Send-Thorns-Sadomasochism/dp/0964596008/ref=cm_lmf_tit_9

Just a few to look into. :) ALL great for just getting started, and learning more about herself, her wants/needs, her sexuality...so on. Good Luck and Kink ON! :D

I tried silicone but was not impressed it flexed too much and was easy to pull out of. If you're just wanting to try and not ready to get into chastity completely I went with this , it's cheap but surprisingly comfortable and light weight. It's also easier to put on than the 3 pronged devices. I think I had to heat up the rings in hot water initially and also put some WD40 on the lock to get the lock to fit correctly on the first go. The instructions that came with it suggested this because of the manufacturing method. Always test a device several times before you put it on.

I would also suggest wearing tight fitting under wear for your first time to help hold it in place.

This one is probably your best bet. It has a hinged ring, which makes it a lot easier to put on and take off, and I felt like the cage part itself was very easy to put on too. Good luck!

Kirsite Alloy Locking Device Abstinence Metal Massager Cage Massagers https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07RBNYYXY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_2DPhDb6JX67XV

oh god, please don't use anything that isn't sterile! i bought my sounding kit on amazon this one. the first one that i got had been opened and one of the sounds was rusted but they were super quick about sending me out a new set.

pick yourself up some alcohol swabs for sterilizing prior to use and some sterile lube

sterile sterile sterile!! you do not want a nasty bladder or kidney infection.

you want to start of with whichever sound fits inside of you without being too small. if you start with one that is too small, you could tear your urethra.

have fun!

Most definitely - you're not alone there.

It also looks like this toy is really soft but not dual density?

Finding a firmness that works for you can take a while. It might be worth looking into something that is soft and squishy on the outside and on the end, but firmer in the core and at the base. That could help you manipulate the toy more easily if you use it while sitting up.

Dual densities are expensive, but the pure silicone ones can be sterilized- so it's safe to buy them second hand. I have a vixskin mustang which is ace.

https://www.amazon.com/Vixen-Creations-Mustang-Vixskin-Vanilla/dp/B0026CEDIU

Check out r/usedsextoys

Nice dynamic you two have :-)

Have you already considered remote (over-the-internet) sex toys, like the Hush? To keep his mind on you, you could assign him some extra tasks, like sending you erotica that he finds arousing (stories, videos, etc.). I think you can find extra ideas on some books, like this one or this one.

Also, a question: which model of chastity cage is he using at the moment?

http://www.amazon.com/Perris-Black-Crop-Handle-26-Inch/dp/B002HIC7D6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375484213&sr=8-1&keywords=perris+riding+crop

This was where I got my first crop. I love it! It's held up really well to use and it freaking hurts when swung right. Or you can just lightly hit with the tip for some nice light sensations. I believe its from a legit riding/tack company. Added bonus, if you have a cat it also makes a really awesome cat toy, mine likes to drag the crop around the house.

I have recently bought one from the Master Series collection called: solitary confinement $90 AUD. A fairly basic design but effective, especially for someone who is on the smaller side when soft. I've had no issue wearing it long term and peeing is pretty easy. Might be worth checking out - Link > https://www.amazon.com/Master-Solitary-Extreme-Confinement-Cage/dp/B01F67FKF6

Tell Me What You Want has an interesting perspective on submission, namely that sometimes people who have demanding, stressful jobs, or jobs where they bear a lot of responsibility, enjoy being submissive because it allows them to give up control, and therefore give up another set of responsibilities. It's a way of being able to relax and focus on the sex/relationship without it feeling like yet another thing you have to be in charge of.

Another perspective is that at the end of the day it's all biological, and trying to search for a "reason" can just be a rabbit hole that leads to nothing but useless guilt and frustration. There is a fact: you enjoy being submissive. There's no inherent meaning attached to that fact. It doesn't say anything about anything. It's just a thing that your body ended up finding pleasurable, and there's really no need to assign a judgement or a meaning to it.

Either way, just focus on the fact that you basically won the lottery and have someone who seems to match you really well. That doesn't happen for everyone. Sit back and enjoy it.

I previously used a Holy Trainer V2 and it was too long. I was interested in the V3 so before I spent the money I wanted to figure out my sizing. I got a clone from Amazon and it has been a great fit for me so far. From what you describe it might be that he needs a shorter cage. My V2 was a standard length, on this clone I got the Small and it is defiantly better sized for me I have the next size down on it's way to me to try out. I had a testicle slip today and had to correct it, at least I was awake for it.

If he is indeed just too wide for the Holy Trainers though I would try another device.

Amazon will let you self-publish. so will Smashwords, but you'll want to take a look at their content restrictions, because they can be a little tetchy about erotica.

Tomio, who's blog we feature on the sidebar, published a short collection of F/m erotica on amazon that was pretty good.

I recommend a highly absorbent pad so you can do it in bed. The shower works, but it's not nearly as much fun! Another option is to do it on the floor so she can have you lick up anything you missed afterwards.

Other than that, I recommend she down a lot of water first and that you do not do it in the morning, at least the first time. You're better off with something mild, especially if you'll be swallowing a lot of it.

Bought the Erskan trilogy for my subbie a few years ago and he loved it (said it was quite cheesy tho!)...

The Erskan Trilogy blends science-fiction to an erotic journey of dominance and submission. On an undiscovered planet, Alexi Malind, veteran police Ranger, investigates a crime that leads him to experience a female-dominated world where his talents for fighting and sexual pleasure are fully exploited. Alexi's experiences through Erskan culture can be appreciated by those just learning about BDSM or those already experienced in the ways of sex and power. The fast-action, sci-rotic Erskan Trilogy is about conflict, learning, compassion, acceptance, and, ultimately love.

http://www.amazon.com/Stars-Antrana-Erskan-Trilogy-Books/dp/1934625000

1. To change it up, shave your genitals into a small triangle or landing strip. (definitely look into a place that would be willing to Brazilian wax you).
   
2. Must use female deodorant, body wash, shampoo, razors, etc.
   
3. Anal bleaching should be included. Make your little butthole pretty pink!
   
4. Plumping lip gloss.
   
5. You should definitely be sleeping in nothing but your panties and bra. If you get cold, maybe some knee high socks.
   
6. Pasties under your clothes.
   
7. You should definitely stop masturbating like a man, and start masturbating only with a dildo like a woman.