(Part 3) Best products from r/GetMotivated

I struggled with low energy for most of my life. If you are serious about fixing your energy level, read this post carefully...I spent an awful lot of time trying to figure out what made my energy levels tick & finally got it figured out (for me, at least). Here is what I learned over the years:

1. The #1 provider of both energy & motivation is sleep, specifically (1) going to bed early, and (2) getting enough hours of sleep. For me, that first involved finding my "sleep window" at night (that time when you get sleepy, but try to ignore it & keep surfing the net/watching TV/reading the chapter you're on/etc.) - for me, that was around 8:30pm. Then figuring out how much sleep I needed...at least 7 hours. I actually get more tired if I sleep more than 9 hours or so, kind of over-tired.
   
   I call this natural energy & natural motivation because once you get dialed into good sleep hygiene, those feelings of energy & motivation come from a natural internal, uh, fountain. You just feel good without having to force yourself into it through exercise or getting excited about something or anything like that. I define energy as physically feeling like doing stuff instead of just feeling meh or drained or kinda depressed all the time. I define motivation as that feeling of excitement from using your brain, i.e. thinking about stuff. When you're tired, thinking about going out with your friends or grabbing some food or whatever can become a barrier, whereas when you feel good, it's easy to get excited & feel motivated about doing just about anything.
   
   This is entirely different than how most of the American population lives on a regular basis...most people live with constant sleep debt. We have so many distractions at night that it's all to easy to not listen to those quiet little signs from our body, like when your eyelids start drooping & you feel kinda sleepy. One tip here, don't go to sleep when your sleep window hits...you need to be in bed & ready for it to hit so you can simply doze off. If you feel sleepy & then start your bedtime routine, i.e. brushing your teeth & whatnot, you're going to wake yourself back up & miss your window.
   
   Think about the opposite: stay up late, ignore when your body is sending you signals that it wants to sleep, and either get too few hours of sleep or get too much sleep & be over-tired. Everybody wants a magic bullet for energy levels & nobody wants to sign up to the reality that it pretty much just boils down to maximizing your sleep habits. It's nearly impossible to master in today's society, however...Internet, television, books, friends, places open late, etc. You really have to make a serious commitment to make this a regular habit. Once you do, you can skip a night or two every week & have fun, like on the weekends, but mostly you have to stay on top of it to keep in the natural high-energy groove.
   
   
2. The most powerful motivation is mental. If you have something you're excited about, you'll do anything, no matter how you feel. I call sleep the #1 provider of motivation & energy because your physical body is the foundation of your health & it's easy to be consistent at doing it, whereas mental motivation can be pretty fickle, but mental motivation is really the strongest thing there is to amp up your energy levels. Think about something you got MEGA excited about, like looking forward to a date or a new video game or whatever you geek out on (or, uh, when a new Harry Potter book would drop & you'd stay up all night to read it...hahaha) - mentally you get some jazzed up that even if you were exhausted, you were still pumped!
   
   On the flip side, if you have a job you hate, family problems, money issues, etc., and you're stressed out all the time, you're going to feel pretty drained all day. Fortunately that's 99% controlled by perspective, which can be fixed if you want it to be. For starters, I'd recommend reading the short book "Attitude is Everything" by Jeff Keller. It's available as a Kindle e-book on Amazon if you want to read it in a browser:
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Attitude-Everything-Change-Your-Life/dp/0979041031
   
   Aside from having an attitude shift (which is something most people can benefit from, at least to some degree), I've found the two most important things for being mentally motivated is to (1) have a hot project you're working on right now, and (2) have another hot project lined up in the que to look forward to. If you're just bumming around all the time & also don't have anything cool coming up next, it's kind of hard to get psyched about, well, anything. Think about it like ordering pizza...you've got something hot & delicious on the way that you can be amped up about (hey, I like food, don't judge me lol).
   
   Also, remember back to when you were a kid...you could live off chicken nuggets & sugar and you felt awesome all day & ran around like crazy. Everything was exciting & fun to do because you were naturally bursting with energy. You slept as long as you needed & (hopefully) your parents made you go to bed at a reasonable hour. Moving forward to adulthood, you basically have to self-manage that stuff now. A lot of people don't & end up with low energy and feeling depressed all the time. And it's hard to manage, if you don't know what to do!
   
   
3. In the words of George Carlin, "ya gotta wanna". If you really want to improve your energy levels, you'll dig in & find a way to do it. Not that I know everything about motivation, but reading this post should point you in the right direction because it's something I've struggled with personally & have spent a lot of time & energy trying to nail down the why's & how's of unlocking the secrets of motivation & staying in a high-energy state. So at the most basic level, it boils down to desire. If you really want to do it, you'll find a way & stick with it, even when the changes are hard.
   
   
4. Food is right behind sleep. I'll share my favorite eating system - IIFYM. Basically it's the idea that your body is a machine that needs to burn a certain amount of calories each day, and to feel the best, you need a certain amount of protein, carbs, and fats throughout the day. That doesn't mean that you have to eat plain chicken & broccoli to be healthy, just that you need to keep an eye on your intake so that you're getting sufficient energy from food throughout the day. I also like to break my meals in half & eat smaller meals throughout the day to keep my energy up, i.e. half a sandwich at 10:30 & the other half at noon. Find what works for you, but whatever it is, make sure it provides you with good physical energy. Also, for me, I do better when I don't eat two or three hours before bed. I wake up feeling a LOT better if I don't eat right before I go to sleep. I also do a basic 24-hour food & water fast once a month to give my digestive system a break & is definitely something I'd recommend to help your energy levels.
   
   
5. Exercise is important, but maybe not for the reason you think. I'm not sure how to say this succinctly, but here it goes: a lot of how you feel has to do with food & digestion, and exercise helps the digestion process, which boosts your mood. And releases endorphins & all that. When you sit around & do nothing physically, the food isn't being pushed through your body like it should be from walking around or doing focused exercise & stuff like that, so it's easy to become lethargic. That's why people feel pumped & why exercise makes you feel good...not so much because you get endorphins, but because you're basically forcing your digestion system to work properly, which in turns improves your mood. That's the basic idea anyway.
   
   Think about when you stuff yourself at Thanksgiving & sit around all day...you feel totally lethargic. Being a couch potato is a great way to lower your energy levels. In most jobs these days, you sit at a desk all day & never get the chance to move around much. It's easy to fall into a haze of brain fog & be a loaf, which of course does nothing good for your energy levels
   
   
6. Stress management. It's easy to have your energy zapped when you have a lot of stress. The best way to deal with stress is to have a way to manage it. My favorite system is the Getting Things Done system by David Allen. Also available as a browser-readable Kindle eBook from Amazon:
   
   https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Things-Done-Stress-Free-Productivity/dp/0143126563
   
   I'll warn you that it is NOT an easy system to implement, but if you do, it basically lets you ensure that you never let anything slide again. Nothing rolling around the back of your mind. The basic concept is to capture 100% of your commitments & then use a workflow to figure out what to do next on each one. Although it doesn't specifically address it in the book, you can branch this action management strategy out to other areas like meal planning, finances, and so on. When you're not stressed out, you're typically much happier & have higher energy levels because you're not being mentally drained all the time.
   
   (1/2)

I agree with what creek_slam_fit says above. You can't go wrong by learning new stuff. Make sure its something you find interesting, if you have no idea where to start I would recommend you to start with personal development books (just search personal development on amazon and go with whatever picks your interest), you can also read biographies of people you find interesting or people that have achieved goals you find attractive (could be some inventions, winning some championships, big money, or having a huge impact on any field).

Personal development impacts your life in almost every area, so it is very recommended to improve on it constantly.

Ask yourself: If you could see yourself doing anything you wanted for 100 years, and no matter what happened you would still be coming back to do that thing what would it be? The answer to that question is something you are very passionate about, so go and pursue it. If you do not find an answer to that question don't worry, most of the time a passion is something that is developed, so go and develop a passion, sooner or later you will find yourself willing to do that thing for a lifetime and working to become a legend on doing that thing.
Since you can develop a passion for almost anything you want, you should first decide what is it that you truly want to achieve in your lifetime, then work on developing a passion for the process that will lead you there, then eventually achieve it. So now you have something to do.

How do you develop a passion for something? This varies from person to person, so only you can truly discover it, others can only give you hints, so here are some of my hints (thoughts that have personally helped me):

• Find a way to be positive most of the time about yourself and about the thing you want to achieve: this might sound very cliché, but it is a VERY powerful idea, Why?, because whenever you have a positive mindset you feel better, this includes feeling motivated, willing to do whatever it takes, feeling overall happier, and many more great feelings, these feelings will then help actually going through the process, this process WILL be difficult (if you are trying to do something worthy), this process WILL have setbacks and obstacles, but by having a way to be positive again and again about the thing you are doing you will find it easier to persist.
  
  
• Persistence outlasts failure: If you keep on learning, keep on improving, keep on doing, you will get where you want. If other people have achieved it then you have proof that its completely doable and that you can get there. If nobody has achieved it then congrats you can be the first one to ever achieve it, if you are determined then knowing that fact should be encouraging enough.
  
  
• In life, the more you put into anything, the more you get out of it: it is important to have this in your mind, specially when you are starting out something because it might feel like you are not getting much progress, but be sure that from time to time it is normal to feel like that (one of those times frequently being the beginning of something), so do not be discouraged, if you are putting effort into it, then you ARE getting something out of it, even if you don’t see any results (you are at least learning or getting experience, which in turn will make you better, even if just slightly).
  
  
• Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day. - Jim Rohn
  
  I can not encourage enough the idea of being positive about what you do, there are infinite ways of doing this. For example: I am a programmer, when I am programming a boring and somewhat tedious part of a project (that has to be done anyways), I think about how nicely structured my code is being written and how that nice structure helps me find specific parts of the code easier and how that will make me more productive when I have to come back to read or modify that code. As you can see in that case (when I am writing boring parts of a project) its not that I am doing the most exciting thing ever, however I find a way to be positive about it and that greatly helps me persist. Go and find a way to be positive about the thing you want to do. That will definitely contribute to develop your passion.
  
  To recap:
  
  How to do something else when you like nothing else?
  
  Learn and try new things -> I recommend you to commit to a lifetime journey of personal development that will improve A LOT of areas in your life -> Keep on learning new stuff -> Have patience and eventually discover what things you like and what things you want for your life -> Develop a passion for the process that will help you persist and get far -> Keep on improving and reiterating through this steps.
  
  Finally remember to enjoy your life. Smile, things will be great. There is nothing you MUST do, there are however consequences to every action. Simply decide the path that will take you were you want to be and go enthusiastically with it.
  
  More resources with more hints to pump up your journey:
  https://www.reddit.com/r/NonZeroDay/wiki/the_four_pillars
  
  http://www.amazon.com/Miracle-Mind-Power-Dan-Custer/dp/0930298209?ie=UTF8&keywords=dan%20custer&qid=1462992034&ref_=sr_1_cc_1&s=aps&sr=1-1-catcorr
  
  https://www.amazon.com/Philosophy-Successful-Living-Jim-Rohn-ebook/dp/B004OL2L0I?ie=UTF8&keywords=jim%20rohn&qid=1462992062&ref_=sr_1_1&s=books&sr=1-1
  

Sure! Here are the following book's I've used for exercises:

Brahms 51 Exercises: link

Cortot Chopin Studies: link

The Cortot ones definitely are a little more advanced, but he has a LOT of comments written along with in his book to help you guide in how you're supposed to perform the exercises. These exercises would help you eventually lead into playing some of the chopin etudes. As you said, this is based off Chopin, but quite honestly, Chopin was one of the first composers to really implement pretty much every kind of hand movement/technique at the piano into his pieces. If you study chopin and his exercises/etudes, you cannot go wrong, and you will enjoy being able to do more technical things as well. It's a struggle, I know, but that's the point!

I'll add more to the list later but I'm on my phone lol, if you're just looking for 'advanced sight reading', why not just pick up some good sheet music and play it? When I was starting out, I was a huge fan of the Final Fantasy Piano Collections stuff and honestly just played extremely slow through it while sight reading. Where you're at right now, you should be able to read any of Nobuo's stuff. The general strategy for sight reading is to NOT slow down/stop playing when you make a mistake. If you have to, then you need to slow down so you can read what's going on. If you're fumbling through a particular section of a piece while sight-reading, you've hit a gold mine! This is something you have no idea how to handle, so you can just work on that section repeatedly before moving on.

There are honestly hundreds of hand exercises that help you do different things depending on what you're trying to work on. If you're looking for something a little bit more modern, Jordan Rudess has some great exercises floating around, but they're just as good as the classics too. Really playing the piano and sounding great is the product of you working hard and LEARNING TO PRACTICE CORRECTLY. If you learn to practice efficiently, then you can honestly become an amazing player. There's actually quite a good story about how Rubenstein (one of the greater pianists of the last ~100 years) was terrible at practicing in his early years and just had a raw talent. He eventually started to practice in his later years and became the legend that he is today.

I've got a bunch of misc exercises around my study somewhere, I'll have to get them and put them up sometime. PM me if you ever have questions!

EDIT: Forgot to say, definitely pick up a Bach fugue/prelude or two. They are literally written to not give a shit about your hands, so they can be quite the good challenge to figure out how to play well. Also you play them without your pedal, so you learn to not be so dependent upon it. :)

20 y.o. Here's a bit of mine

Make money- I want to open a surf shop in the town I grew up in. I want to be my own boss so I'm taking business courses and I'm trying to learn how to make my own clothes. I worked at a place on the boardwalk this summer and I had a chance to print t-shirts and see the process of the business. It's really not that hard and I think I can handle the business part of it. There's probably not a lot of money in it, but in the off season, I figure I can do something else to make money.

Keep in shape- Sorry man, but I don't think you can count going to the gym as a hobby. It should be more of an obligation really. You should enjoy it, but because of the good that you are doing for your body. Find a sport to play there's so many I'm sure you'll find one. Who cares if you suck, you will find people your level. I've been a tennis player pretty much all my life. It's a great sport and you only need a few things to have a great time. A racket, a couple balls, and a partner! I work at tennis courts in my town too and I see people in their 80's still playing! And like a bunch of other sports I'm sure, you can take lessons to get better! The gym is great exercise, but you should really try to get the thrill and competition of a sport.

Creative- This is my favorite one. Over the last year or so I've been going crazy trying out new ways to express myself and it's honestly the most fun trying to tap into it. I like music a lot. I spend a few hours a week just looking for new music. All kinds, have an open mind to new things! Then last january I said fuck it and bought a guitar. There's a bunch of free opportunities to learn to play whether its from a friend or online. This is the site I've been using and I'm not great or anything, but being able to (somewhat) recreate some sounds from my favorite bands is so satisfying. I've also started to take up drawing. This is the one that's most difficult for me because I was always aweful, but I bought a book to teach me. I've realized you're going to need a lot of help if you want to learn or do something. And that's ok! I've been taking videos and playing around a bit with some old editing software I got a few years back. Unfortunately this hobby is halted, since my video camera was confiscated at a concert :( Also, I'm not really sure which category this fits into, but I've taken an interest in cooking as well. Nothing crazy, but I can put together a few decent and healthy meals. It's really rewarding making a meal for yourself. Even more-so if you share it with friends for the hell of it!

Dude start trying anything. Really anything you can think of that you are interested in. You'll realize things aren't really as hard as you think. If you aren't good at something, well that's ok too. Just find something that interest you and work towards it and slowly get better. Cut out time wasted and put it towards creating something that you can be proud of. It doesn't even have to make money.. any skills you learn will benefit you in some way, or at least give you an outlet to clear your mind. Play around with life! Test yourself and see what you can really do. I might be going a little overkill. I almost feel like I'm hitting a mid life crisis already hah but you should really experiment, it's a hell of a lot of fun. And not I'm not speaking directly to you, but generally people just need to cut out some wasted time being distracted watching tv to do something that requires thinking and action. At least substitute some tv/movie time for reading. It gets easier to find things that interest you once you get going! I'm sure you'll find something man just remember to have fun with it. Hobbies are hobbies, thats all theyre for, so don't worry if you think it might not benefit you in some way, because it will.

Edit- Formatting

Wow, I could have written this. I'm down 54 lbs as of this morning (220 to 166).

First, please check out r/loseit. There are wonderful people over there who absolutely excel at providing advice and support much better than me. You'll see thousands of stories of people just like you (and me) who have been where you are and who are still where you are.

As others have said, motivation fades and sheer determination is what will pull you through. Just take one small step every day. Today, just read a little on r/loseit. Next week, google TDEE and write down what you eat without trying to restrict.

Also - No zero days

You've got this and people are here to help!

EDIT: OK, now I'm on a computer and can type for real. I'm 35, female, 5' 5" tall (or 1.67 meters) and weighed 158 lbs at 10 yrs old. I've been there. I've been depressed. I've felt worthless. I won't pretend to understand exactly what you're going through, but I think I can relate.

First, let me say congrats on taking a step by posting here. You know you want to change and that's the first thing you have to do - make a decision. The second step is much harder...actually taking the step. You can plan forever and feel like you've accomplished something, but planning doesn't count without action.

Before I type out actual weight-loss advice. I want you to check on one thing - your medication. I'm absolutely not saying you need to go back on it, but please take a hard look at going off and if what you're feeling is related to that. Please, make sure you're working with a doctor to change/go off your medication. You may still be "coming down" from it. I truly don't know the specifics of these things, but I've seen the effects. I've seen too many people go off their medication because they "feel fine" not realizing that it's the medication that creating that feeling. Talk to your doctor, (s)he may say it's normal, maybe you need to try something different, maybe you don't need them any more, but please please please put some hard, rational thought into it. OK PSA over.

I know you're looking for motivation, but motivation fades. And it's not even determination that keeps you going. It's habit, making something so common, so boring, so regular that it feels weird to not be doing it. Measure your food (e.g., servings) until anything more than one serving that looks weird. Walk 15 minutes everyday at 4:45 PM until going a day without it feels weird. By the way, it took me maybe 3 months of dedication for these things to become habit. Make a chart. Do your habits 3 days next week. 4 days the week after that. Work up to 6 or 7. Give yourself gold stars. (No zero days...)

Ok, some concrete things. I'm going to offer a few universal pieces of advice, followed by a few things that worked for me. Take everything with a grain of salt. If I've learned anything, it's that everyone needs to figure out what works for them.

• Small steps - Please don't go from 2500 calories a day to 1200. You'll fail by dinner. This week, just weigh/measure and write down what you eat and look up the calories. Don't try to cut anything out yet. You need to get a baseline. Maybe all you need to do is cut out the daily Starbucks. Maybe you eat healthy, but too much - cut each serving by 1/4 cups. You won't know unless you figure out where to start.
  
• Don't set an "all or nothing" attitude - I'M NEVER EATING SUGAR AGAIN!!! The quickest way to get a stubborn asshole like me to do something (i.e., eat sugar) is to tell me I can't do it. I feel this is a universal issue.
  
• CICO - aka Calories in vs. calories out. This is the weight-loss guiding principle. Google and read about total daily energy expenditure (TDEE). The amount of calories you burn in a day. Using 5'5", 21 yrs old, and "sedentary lifestyle" you burn about 2,100 calories by simply sitting on the couch and breathing. To lose weight, you need to take in fewer calories than you burn (calories in vs. calories out - CICO). Period. That's it. A 500 calorie deficit per day = 1 lb lost per week. If you want to eat more, you're going to have to move more. I eat about 1800-2200 calories per day, but I make sure I move a lot too. If I didn't want to exercise so much, I would have to eat less.
  
• Be prepared - Have healthy snacks on hand. Have water on you at all times. Know when you're going to a party and may over-indulge (and that's ok). EXPECT THE SCALE TO GO UP AND DOWN. Get your mindset around that now. You will probably drop up to 5 lbs the first week you really go hard at this. That rate won't last, be mentally prepared for that. Here's my daily weigh-ins. Be mentally prepared to gain. lose, and plateau.
  
• Stick to it - This is the single most important thing you can do. You fucked up yesterday. It's going to happen. Ate a bowl of brownie batter crying alone in your bed with your cat while watching old Friends re-runs? (My husband is a lucky man). Ok. But this is something you're going to have to fight for a long time. It can't be all or nothing (see above). You have to find a way to pick yourself up and try again. So many times I've said, "well, fuck it. I ate the brownie batter yesterday. What's the point? Might as well just quit. But if you're in this for the long haul, the concept of giving up doesn't make sense. Give up what? My treadmill habit? What's the point.
  
  Ok some specifics that worked for me.
  
  
• Daily weigh-ins - most people will tell you to weigh yourself weekly or monthly. However, after doing that for years, I would always get discouraged when my weekly weight was higher. I started doing daily weigh-ins and learned to embrace the ups and downs. When you pull back on a year's worth of work it puts everything into perspective. It also helped keep me focused. 2 days up meant suck it up buttercup and put down the peanut buttercup.
  
• Take a few before pictures - Take more photos every 10 lbs you lose. I saw results in the photos before I saw them in the mirror.
  
• No cheats, just treats - There is no "off limit" food for me. I pretty much eat what I want. Having said that, what I want is to lose weight and what I want to eat is food that will help me do it. I have my treats, but maybe one cookie, not 12. We're going out to dinner tonight so I'm having a light lunch. I'm not "doing" Keto, paleo, vegan, whole30, weight watchers, Facebook milkshake diet. Props to those of you who do, but to me, those are not permanent. And anything that I "go off of" when I'm "done" = massive weight gain post-"diet" in my world.
  
• Pick a tracker (MyFitnessPal, FitBit, SparkPeople, excel, whatever) - Most people use MyFitnessPal to track food and weight. I use a combination of SparkPeople, Fitbit, and excel. I like excel. I'm both fat and a nerd (my husband is a lucky guy). Make tracking a habit. If you miss a day, start again tomorrow, MyFitnessPal doesn't care. I get excited to update my spreadsheet. Hell, I'll send it to you if you want (PM me).
  
• Start at home - It can be daunting starting something new, luckily we live in the internet age. No one cares if you can't do a 30-min YouTube work out in your basement. No one has to know. People get intimidated by the gym - I was. I still don't go to a gym. But there are millions of workout resources online. You don't need equipment or training or cute workout clothes. You just need 3-4 days per week to form a habit.
  
  I've become addicted to seeing results and, frankly, it's kinda fun at this point. People notice. I get compliments. I feel proud. You can do this.
  
  Today is Sunday. Pick one of these things and implement it tomorrow. Download MyFitnessPal. Buy a food scale. Set up a spreadsheet. Take your before photo. Or at least read No Zero Days.
  
  Hope this helps!
  
  EDIT 2: Several people have asked me for my spreadsheet, so here it is. I'm not going to lock cells so people can edit it as they like, but the idea is that you only type in the pink cells. I filled in the first row as an example. Everything else will fill in automatically. You'll need to fill in your goal too if you want it to appear on the table.
  
  It's up to you to track calories in and out. Like I said, I use my FitBit for this . I also have a cheap fat monitor and started tracking that when I started HIIT workouts and the weight loss slowed. Anyway, add columns, delete those you don't need, and most importantly keep with it!

I'm happy to answer any questions! I'm in Social Industrial/Organizational Psych, which is an unusual combination but it's very interesting and fun stuff to learn. Social Psychology is all about examining persuasion/social influence, small group dynamics, social cognition (how people conceptualize their relationships and interactions with others), etc. I/O is business psychology. It's largely about how to design work environments such that workers are happy and productive. I/O is more my special interest. People with degrees in I/O often go on to work in HR or consulting firms. I'm currently planning to go into academia (to be a researcher/professor, meaning I'll need my Ph. D, not just a master's), but it's both extremely competitive and doesn't pay as well as consulting. For my thesis, I'm developing a scale to measure workplace interruptions. I'm interested in how people aren't able to get into a good flow at work, and how the modern workplace has tons of interruptions with higher presence of technology (email alerts) and with the fashion of open space floor plans in offices that encourage people to interrupt one another (as opposed to having offices with actual doors that can close).

Notes for how to apply to grad school:

1. Figure out what your flavor of Psychology is
   
   
2. Pick howevermany programs you want to apply to
   
   
3. Take the GRE
   
   
4. Ask for letters of recommendation
   
   Deadlines for Fall 2014 are often in December 2013, so you might want to consider getting your applications together nowish. You need to figure out what field you want to go into. Clinical Psychology is extremely competitive, just to let you know. Go to career counseling at your college to figure out your particular flavor. Do "me-search" - what is it about your own life that you're endlessly fascinated by? Go study that in grad school. For me, it's introversion and interruptions. I wanted to know why I flip the fuck out when I'm interrupted. Many research psychologists are studying things about their own lives - things they're personally either really good or really bad at, for instance.
   
   One of the biggest things you need to decide is whether you want to do research or do applied work. If you like statistics or even just don't mind them, go into research. If you don't, stick with a school with an applied focus. Big state schools are generally research universities, and small private colleges generally have an applied focus (and are much more expensive to attend). Keep a spreadsheet of all the schools that you want to apply to.
   
   I applied to 10 schools and got into 3. I had like a 1320 on my GRE and a 3.7 GPA, but practically no undergraduate research experience. 10 applications ended up costing me about $500 in application fees, so think about that now and set aside some cash. It took me about 40 hours of work to get all those applications done, and I'm a fast worker. The school I chose is a big state school, the only state school I applied to. I wish I had applied to more, though, because state schools are the ones that really fund their students. I have guaranteed free tuition for as long as it takes me to get my degree with a cap of like 9 years, but I want to be out in 6. I'll get both my master's and my phd during these 6 years. I get a monthly stipend that's about $1,100, which isn't a lot, but combined with the free schooling - I'm not complaining.
   
   You're going to want to study for the GRE. Study for at least a month. Take a practice GRE test to find out where your difficulties lie. If you're like me and need to brush up on non-statistics math, look into using this book - it's perfect. Check out those reviews, they explain why I loved it so much.
   
   When you ask for your letters of recommendation, you need to be organized. You need to give people at least 6 weeks (maybe even a few months would be good) before the deadline. This is the main reason why you should get started nowish - remember, December is the deadline for a lot of programs. I gave my professors a packet that included: 1) A letter about myself, my accomplishments, my GPA, what I want to do, for them to reference while they wrote my letters. 2) Each school's form for letters of rec, already filled out. 3) Addressed envelopes with stamps. 4) A letter with instructions and copious thanks that included a list of the 10 schools with a check mark next to each one.
   
   The application process serves as a weeding out process for universities. Many more people start applications than finish them, because it's fucking complicated. But if you approach it with the right attitude and determination, you can do it! You will find the program that's right for you. Not all programs are like mine - you can find tons of different master's programs that are just a couple years and you're out. Best of luck!
   
   Oh, and also check out [impostor syndrome] (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor_syndrome) - it's a big block for many people in graduate school, so be aware of it!
   
   If you've read this far, I commend you - one final thing. Grad school has been hands down the best educational experience of my life, and all the work I put into soul searching and finding my niche has totally paid off. All my peers are fucking brilliant. Do it - it's hard but I'd totally recommend it!

Edit - More information has come to light! thanks to /user/bluefusion-

It is based on a quote from Imam Ali ibn Abi Talib


From wikipedia - lived from c. 594 to 29 January 661, was the cousin and son-in-law of Muhammad, the prophet of Islam.


"How strange and foolish is man. He loses his health in gaining wealth. Then, to regain his health he wastes his wealth. He ruins his present while worrying about his future, but weeps in the future by recalling his past. He lives as though death shall never come to him, but dies in a way as if he were never born."




Note - Older info below:

------------------------------------------------------------------

Seems to be based on short story from this chap:

John James Brown (pen name: James Lachard) born 1923 in Clacton-on-Sea, Essex, England

Also is published in the book “An Interview With God” Reata Strickland (editor)


https://www.amazon.co.uk/Interview-God-Reata-Strickland/dp/0743229576


http://www.wordsofjoy.com/James_Brown_BIO.htm



AN INTERVIEW WITH GOD



“Come in,” God said. “So you would like to interview me?”

“If You have the time,” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity. That’s enough time to do everything.


What questions do you have in mind?”


“What surprises you most about mankind?”

“Many things.”


“That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.


That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore health.


That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, and live neither for the present nor for the future.


That they live as if they will never die, and die as if they had never lived.”


God took my hands in His. We were silent for a while, then I asked,

“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons You want Your to children learn?”

God replied with a smile.


“To learn that they cannot make anyone love them.

They can only let themselves be loved.

To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives, but who they have in their lives.

To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.

All will be judged individually on their own merits, not as a group on a comparison basis.

To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who needs the least.

To learn that it takes only a few seconds to open profound wounds in persons they love and many years to heal them.

To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness.

To learn there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.

To learn that money can buy everything but happiness.

To understand that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally differently.

To appreciate that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them, and likes them anyway.

To learn that it is not always enough that they be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves.”

I sat there for a while enjoying the moment. I thanked God for this time and for all that He has done for me and my family.
Then God replied, “Anytime, I’m here twenty-four hours a day. All you have to do is ask and I’ll answer. People will forget what you said.
People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.”

James J. Lachard (Jim Brown)

I want to let you know that you can get better. There is lots of time for you to improve and as long as you're still here there's always hope that things can get better for you.

For the past few years I've struggled with moderate depression and anxiety. Maybe not as severe as yours but I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.

But in the last year or so I've come a long way in digging my way out of my depression and anxiety. I still have more to go, but I can say that I'm feeling much better nowadays, and feeling happy more often.

The first step for me was to realize and accept that there's no magic pill or instant easy solution. But that it takes a lot of small things that add up, small changes and habits that you make, and tiny steps day by day that will gradually reshape your brain. Little and often makes much.

The next big thing that helped me personally was to learn about the neuroscience, how the brain works in depression and anxiety. What's happening in the brain and why depression and anxiety tend to keep you doing behaviors that keep you trapped in it. Like how you feel as though you can't bring yourself to do anything and can't control yourself, is largely because of depleted serotonin in your prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is what you use to consciously control your actions and override your automatic habitual behaviors.

A book that super helped me a lot is "The Upward Spiral". You can probably find it at a library.

It's all about small easy daily things you can do to help yourself, like getting sunshine, getting a little exercise, going for walks, getting better sleep, and so on that eventually make a big difference. Even things like forcing yourself to smile and laugh to yourself, because it creates a biofeedback loop to your brain. It feels silly, but your face muscles/nerves send a signal to your brain that you're smiling and your brain thinks, "Oh I'm smiling therefore I should be happy." And soon you start feeling happier.

The next big thing that helped me a lot was to learn meditation and mindfulness. I started that after I learned about the neuroscience of the effects of meditation on the brain in depression.

I also went to counselling/therapy. In the end I decided not to go with medication, because I didn't want to do that. But it's up to you, and a doctor or therapist can help you decide the best strategy.

Anyway the point is that it's a combination of things that work for me. Hopefully it can help you. It's super important to be patient with yourself and with the process of improving. It's really important to go easy on yourself and forgive yourself. And to realize that you don't need to fix yourself all at once. Just focus on little steps day by day, focus on what you can control. It's not easy but you keep at it and eventually it gets better.

You're getting a lot of good concrete advice here, so I'm going to come from a more abstract angle...


I believe that everyone in the world has the same job: learning how to be your version of a good human being, and slowly discovering and building strengths you can use to help yourself and those around you. Everyone has this same job, the same responsibility, it's just that the details in figuring this out and muddling through are so drastically different for everyone..


You're already doing your work, right now, because you're struggling to find meaning in your life, and you care enough to reach out and ask for help.


Your milage may vary with all of this, but this book helped me a lot the last few years as I went through a divorce and decided to move to a new city for a career that helps people (33 yo male myself, btw).

http://www.amazon.com/The-Great-Work-Your-Life/dp/055380751X


Don't get too hung up on the lofty language, though. "Meaningful work" or phrases like "my calling" aren't about a perfect career or boundless passion and success, they're about consistently using your body and mind in the world in ways that are healthy and meaningful to you (which just incidentally tend to involve helping others in some way). If it's not through your 9 to 5, no problem: just put your time in and use it as a stable base for meaningful action elsewhere.


Personally, I think that when you figure out how to give in a healthy way through things you care about, you almost always get back more than you give, and you start to attract stronger friends and partners as a by-product of practicing your strengths and learning who you are.


As far as I can tell, this approach to life will always be full of fear, doubt, and struggle, passing through you like waves even as you keep doing better and learning more about yourself, but it's worth it, because it can be so damn beautiful and intense and super rich in all the ways that matter.


Good luck with your struggle, friend.

Don't give up man. There's many ways to improve.


1.) My best advice, is find a good teacher that you like and feel comfortable around. Once you do you'll really begin to improve and like your sound.


2.) If you can't find a teacher there's plenty of online resources


3.) This is probably the best and hardest way to improve; it's very slow but the pay off is amazing. Transcribe everything. Start with the Beatles or CCR and transcribe simple chord songs and slowly (I mean after several months of doing this) move on to harder material.
This method is not recommended as it's hard, but it'll make you damn good.


Don't give up bro, I've played guitar for 5 years. I sucked for the first two, was mediocre the last 2 years and it's only recently that I've begun to get good. Just like anyone can learn algebra or learn to read anyone can play guitar.

Two Books to Recommend (On the Mental Aspect of Music):

Effortless Mastery - Liberating the Master Musician Within
by Kenny Werner. This book is simply awesome.

• Download it here (It's a safe download, I uploaded it myself. Shhh!)
  
  Zen Guitar - Philip Sudo
  
  
  don't click me! :)
  
  
• Even more awesome, it not only changed how I view music but also my life. This is personally better than Effortless Mastery, as what you read in the book not only affects your music mindset but spreads into your life. Buy It
  
  Two Final Tips
  
  

1. Just get into the habit of practicing, even if it's only for 5mins everyday. Make sure it's at the same time.
   
   
   
2. There's a cycle. Practice -> Improvement -> Motivation -> Practice -> Improvement - Motivation ->
   
   
   Occasionally you'll hit walls or plateaus at which point, watch Crossroads or listen to Zeppelin and remind yourself why you started playing, then go and practice.
   (-> = leads to)

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! Learning about eating well can be really overwhelming. I've struggled with gaining weight at times too, so I can relate. I agree with some of the recommendations that have been posted so far (more frequent small meals, grains, bars, multivitamins).

My suggestions:

• Try to consume high-calorie foods. IMO, the most convenient sources of calories are foods like bananas (a fast way to get 100 kcal), avocados (if you can afford them, lol), dried fruit, dark chocolate - 250 kcal per serving, 225 kcal per serving, granola, rice, quinoa, potatoes, and sweet potatoes. If you can find a trail mix with nuts, dried fruit, and dark chocolate, that’s a great way to get in some calories!
  
  
• Eat healthy fats! Good sources of calories include nuts (especially almonds, macadamia nuts, and walnuts), nut butters (peanut butter, almond butter, etc.), and oils (olive oil, coconut oil). Honestly, one thing I've done before is to buy some coconut oil and eat a spoonful at a time (15ml has 123 kcal!). It doesn't taste like anything, so it's easy to eat, and it's a super-fast way to get calories.
  
  
• You mentioned trying but not being able to tolerate Ensure. I highly recommend other forms of liquid calories, such as protein shakes or pre-made smoothies. These are some I like:
  
  • Naked Juice smoothies - these contain good-for-you ingredients, and some of them are good sources of protein, too. They're high in sugar, but all of the sugar comes from the fruit (plus it sounds like you need sugar).
    
  • Innocent smoothies
    
  • Orgain protein shakes: These are pre-made (ready to drink) and have 140 kcal + 20g of protein. You can also get Orgain in powder form, which is probably more cost-effective, but less convenient.
    
  • Sunwarrior rice protein powder is dairy-free and vegan. It has less calories than the Orgain (80 kcal + 16g of protein per serving), but it's less expensive.
    
  • If you decide to try a protein powder, I recommend getting a shaker bottle like this one - they make it so much easier to mix up protein shakes.
    
    
• Definitely try some protein/snack bars, as /u/allycat-alison mentioned. I like Larabars, Luna/Clif bars, and Kind bars.
  
  
• Your energy is probably low for many reasons (not sleeping because of stress, feeling depressed, not eating enough/low blood sugar) - another reason may be having low iron. You could try an iron supplement and see if that helps. Another potential source of low energy is depleted B vitamins, so a B-complex supplement could also be beneficial. This is a multivitamin I found that’s a good source of B vitamins, vitamin D (also related to energy), AND iron. It also contains vitamin C, which helps your body absorb the iron.
  
  
• I know you said you didn’t want your family to find out (and unfortunately, keeping all of this to yourself is even more stressful!). I'm not going to advise you to talk to them, because I don’t know your situation. BUT, your family shouldn't get suspicious if they were to find out you had a physical - a physical is a standard thing that everyone should have regularly, IMO. I think it would be really helpful for you to have one, because your doctor can order bloodwork (again, totally standard/understandable/nothing that should raise eyebrows) and find out if there's anything contributing to your situation, like anemia or low thyroid function.
  
  
• Does your uni have a student health center/offer counseling? I'm in the U.S., and many here do. It's usually included in your tuition, and it's anonymous, so no one would have to know. I would go by your health center and see if they have any nutrition and/or counseling services, because it sounds like you don’t have anyone to talk to, and you should!!
  
  
• Lastly, remember that tobacco is proven to reduce appetite, so if you can, please try to take your friends' help with quitting tobacco. You could also try cessation products like nicotine gum, lozenges, or the patch. Did marijuana not help your appetite? I almost always get the munchies!

13 years here in March. One of the hardest but most rewarding things I’ve done. I will say that I’m down to about 2-3x per year where I think about going back. Super easy to resist at this point though. I always say NOT ONE DRAG. that is the key for me. How I quit? Alan Carr: Allen Carr's Easy Way To Stop Smoking https://www.amazon.com/dp/0615482155/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_JoHCCbQ1T8Q83 worth $12 if you are on the fence

Read the books Choose Yourself and So Good They Can't Ignore You for your answer. Trust me, it'll be well worth it. :)

I'm 30 and back in South Korea doing YouTube videos while teaching. I had my chance in 2012 to do this but I screwed up due to a shite mindset. Now that i'm older and wiser, i'm doing things EVERY DAY.

A good book I recommend: https://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X

I really appreciate and agree with this article. I am 33 years old, have a good job, but have had many bad relationships. Then I read The War of Art and it motivated me to get off my ass and start living my life. It also motivated me to realize that I needed to improve myself; that my failed relationships had to do with my failures as well. So I started my transformations. I read the following books: Codependent No More, The 4-Hour Body, Wheat Belly, and am currently reading The Fine Art of Small Talk. In two months I joined nofap here (50 days plus), lost 25lbs (plus more body fat), dropped from a size 36+ to a 32, went down to shirt sizes, read many books, went to Boston, made new friends, helped some old ladies, learned how to cook, stopped eating all gluten and wheat products, learned how to shave with a DE razor (plus I shave my head), and generally took over my life. I agree with this article because as Americans we are taught that we are perfect. We need to realize that WE DO NEED TO MAKE CHANGES--that is an integral part of bettering yourself and growing up.

This was a good book.

http://www.amazon.com/Mans-Search-Meaning-Viktor-Frankl/dp/080701429X

It's about a guy who lived through the nazi concentration camp.

http://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easy-Stop-Smoking/dp/0615482155

The best $13 I ever spent in my life. Give it a shot. What do you have to lose?