(Part 2) Best products from r/JUSTNOFAMILY

Totally understand. It doesn't have to happen all at once. Just pick something that's driving you crazy (like the step son) and say "no" until she acquiesces or escalates. Then you can say "I am my son's parent, we've told you our concerns. Again, I'm telling you "no"".

This is a good book (it's a bit churchy, but not in a "go to church way") about how to set healthy boundaries with those around you. It helped my SO become not a doormat to the toxic people in his life. http://amzn.to/2v6aq9U

Oh I'm sorry, your story just makes me want to give you a hug.

All of these people sound horribly abusive. Violence or not, they were supposed to be protecting you, caring for your needs and loving you. Whatever their reasons, they did a shit job of it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with struggling to deal with that. I'm willing to bet that your sister isn't nearly as functional as she leads everyone to believe.

As good as it felt to try to tell your aunt off, she sounds just as bad and no contact is probably a great idea. Have you considered low contact with your parents?

Try and find a therapist if you can. You need someone impartial to talk to. You've done very well to get through all this crap that your family has put you through and a therapist will say the same.

Try looking into CPTSD. I'm not saying you have it, but I bet you will find the symptoms familiar. Check out this book if you're interested.

I find it interesting that you were pushed here from JustNoMIL, since my first stop was the JustNoMIL wiki, reading list.

I've also heard good things about Out of the Fog: Moving From Confusion to Clarity After Narcissistic Abuse
by Dana Morningstar (Author)

Just bouncing around their website might be helpful.

> DD is in therapy and we don’t tell her BM because of the freak out.

Her therapist might also have some good suggestions.

I came here to see if someone said this. Maybe use one of [these](RUBAN Notebook Lock and Security Cable (PC/Laptop) Two Keys 6.2 foot (Black) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00WJHQFLU/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_HQ1BCbZC1V460). They come in both lock and key and combination lock styles. Though in your situation I would suggest the key which you could keep with you at all times.

Another option that doesn't damage the door: DoorJammer

Would getting a fridge locker be an option, or do you think they'd see that as a challenge to their right to your food?

https://www.amazon.com/Locker-Brand-157281-Original-Fridge/dp/B001UFNCHM/ref=sr_1_1

> I don't even know if I'm justified in my feelings.

I totally get this. This is what I try to tell myself: You don't need anyone to tell you whether or not you are justified in your feelings.

Your intuition is very good, you just need to learn to trust it fully. It sounds like your sister needs a lot of help, and you have tried helping her and she is not receptive to it. I honestly think the best thing for both you and her is to not have contact. If your instincts are telling you you shouldn't even be seeing her at family events, then don't. I mean, I do feel badly for her, as she is clearly struggling with something and is putting herself in danger, but that doesn't mean that you need to invite that danger into your life.

Unsolicited advice that you can choose to ignore: I told my husband about my past sexual assaults and emotional incest by a family member. It was one of the hardest things I've done, and I had to work up to it, but I'm glad I told him. Those past things were affecting me in ways I didn't realize, and it was putting strain on our relationship. If you are interested in reading an amazing book, I recommend The Sexual Healing Journey. I had read a lot of other books about sexual assault, self esteem, etc., and none of them ever helped me or spoke to me. This book wrote out and explained all of my feelings and actions. It was so amazing. It detailed things that I do in my life that I didn't even realize I was doing, or why. It was so validating. The book is even for people who were never actually assaulted, but have negative views on sex due to upbringing or the media. Anyways, I'm sorry if my advice is unwelcome or hurtful in some way. I just wanted to share since that book is changing my life so much for the better. I feel so lucky to have found it.

Get a few sets of jacks https://www.amazon.com/Metal-Jacks-Ball-Set-joisso/dp/B002Q0S388/

If he's a reader get him this

Get one of these and lock it to your trolly

A Kensington lock would probably do you. Almost any laptop made today has a little slot for it.

https://www.amazon.com/Kensington-64068F-MicroSaver-Laptop-Business/dp/B00000K4KH

Seconding this. I apparently bought it back in 2013, and I still go back and re-read it every once in a while.

I'll probably go back and re-read it once I do my yearly re-read of the Dresden files.

This will keep him out without damaging the door: Addalock

This one causes an alarm to go off (which I like because it may train him): Anndason Door Stop Security Alarm with 120 DB Siren

Something like this but smaller and more discrete.

Belwith Products 1840 Lock Swing Privacy, Polished Brass https://www.amazon.com/dp/B000PINS0Q/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_NcFYCbNZ44TRY


Home Security Door Lock with 8 Screws, Childproof Door Reinforcement Lock with 3" Stop Withstand 800 lbs for Inward Swinging Door,Upgrade Night Lock to Defend Your Home
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07DR9CMGZ/ref=cm_sw_r_em_apa_i_u7EYCbH0PHAGC

Seriously! He wrote a book that's coming out in... October. The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London https://www.amazon.com/dp/0374113343/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Yuv2AbEKK3P31

You should pick up a couple of these...

The inner paper can be flipped/removed/replaced, so you could print something up like "Time left before I kick X's ass out"....

Down to the second.

So how many tiny violinsare you ordering for the shoot?

Late to the thread, but wanted to suggest chain locks for when you're home alone.

There are pill bottles with combination locks on them!


If those still make you a bit uneasy, there are sturdier bottles to choose from and different styles of locks.