(Part 2) Best products from r/MtF

There's the old adage Could of, Would of, Should of that we all face in our lives. There is zero value in looking back with regret. It is a complete waste of emotional energy because there is NOTHING that you can do about it other than learn from it. You can look back in a healthy way to learn how things could have been different to achieve the outcome that would have been better. But to sit in wallow because things didn't go absolutely futile.

I think at one point most of us wanted to be in a rock-n-roll band but that can only happen with time and dedication. If that is really important to you, what have you done to achieve that goal? With any goal, you have to work at it and in time good things will happen.

Your ambition of Spread joy to everyone and makes them happier each day is an admirable one that is both achievable and healthy. This is so doable and I would love to see you succeed. We need more people with your ideals in the world!

My recommendation is for you to go volunteer some where. Helping others is such a wonderful therapeutic activity. It allows us to get outside of our own head and problems. Seeing others that have suffered and had trials like our own can help us to put things into perspective. So go help out at a nursing home, the local LGBT community center, Habitat for Humanity or a food shelter, etc. Through opportunities like this you can spread joy and forge the friendships that you want/need.

Another thing I'd recommend is reading about others that have gone through immense pain and suffering yet persevered. My favorite book is Unbroken by Laura Hillenbrand. I can't think of a book that made me laugh and cry as much as this one. I absolutely LOVED this book. It is about a WWII Navy pilot that was shot down and captured by the Japanese. A movie was made from it but the book is SO much better.

>Never tried hrt. It won't change my life.

You are right that HRT alone will not change your life. Only you can change your life. HRT or antidepressants can only help get you to a more emotionally stable state of mind.

I will challenge you that HRT won't help you in changing your life. How could you possibly know without trying? At this point what harm is there in trying?

> I'll be at best a parody of a woman

I would disagree that you would only be a parody of a woman. We are women already but many of us struggle with internalized transphobia that results in feeling the way that you stated. There are countless trans folks here that will tell you otherwise as well. Don't you think that many if not nearly all of them felt the same way that you do? It is not an easy road but it is possible.

Please don't give up. Do one of the following - call 911, check into an ER or call the Trans Support line. There is a community here that wants to help but there is only so much we can do. Get the help that is available. Trust me that they can help you find a way through all of this.

ExOfficio Women's Give-N-Go Bikini Brief - Small - Black https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0036S2D9Y/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_iC1azbK840VYJ

OMG read the reviews. These are AMAZING! They have different styles, but I linked the ones I own. They are super breathable, they have a nice wide girth to keep the loose skin in, and while this model isn't the most sexy, it definitely performs well. I usually push my junk inside my body, and then pull the sack back under to tuck. I'm relatively small so that works for me. Once I put the exoficio panties on and get everything into position, I take a pair of tighter fitting swimming bikini bottoms and pull those over everything. It keeps me in place and I am able to wear pretty much whatever I want, including yoga pants. The best part about all that, is that both the panties and the bikini bottoms are breathable and I don't have a sweaty mess later on. I even got my boyfriend to buy a pair of the men's boxers (made out of the same material) and he threw away all his other cotton boxers and said, "never again will I wear any other kind of underwear. These are amazing!"
At least get one pair to try. You won't be sorry.

As for sexy stuff... Try these...

Sofishie Sexy Midnight Bow-Tie Panties - Black - Large https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0196WCLXQ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_YP1azb66WVEAD

You might think I'm joking, but my boyfriend bought me a pair and it drives him wild. They are his favorite pair that I own. They are cute, sexy, go well with thigh highs, and quite honestly, are super comfortable!! They have a nice wide girth which keeps the bits in, but since they are assless, tucking can be complicated. Luckily, you mentioned that you don't really tuck, so they would be perfect! With lingerie, the important part is that you feel sexy wearing them and for me, I definitely feel that way wearing both panties that I linked.

Hope this helps! If you do end up getting either of these, let me know what you think!

Nails are SUCH a great source of euphoria once you get it down! Make sure you have a good base coat and top coat. Base coat to let the polish adhere better and to prevent the polish from staining your nail. Top coat to protect all that effort you put into doing your own nails! My fav for both are Seche Vite and Seche Clear. As others have said, wipe off any excess polish on the lip of the bottle. I typically will bring the brush up to about 2 mm to 3 mm from the edge of where the nail meets the skin/cuticle and press down and push up. This fans out the brush head a little and allows you to inch closer to the edges without necessarily touching the skin there. then drag down the length of the nail. Repeat on the 2 flanking sides. Once that's dry, repeat for a 2nd coat. Usually you would have to wait for the polish to dry before putting on a top coat, but the one I linked is great for impatient girls like me because you can put the top coat on while the polish is still wet! It binds with the polish and keeps it strong and the whole thing dries relatively fast too.

I always get some polish on the rest of my finger even though I try really hard not to, its inevitable, (especially when you switch hands to the non-dominant one >__<) so I use a small brush I have from painting art supplies. The thinnest brush (like the ones on the left side), or asmall angle brush used for brows work great. Dip that in some nail polish remover and clean up the sides/excess polish. Voila!

Best of luck girl! You got this!!

PS: Right now my favorite polishes are from KL Polish. I bought a ton of them when my friend said they were going out of business and had a big sale. The colors are great and very long lasting, but the best BEST thing about this polish is the brush. OMG this brush!! It's a nice curved shape that conforms to your nail and makes it a lot easier to get closer to the edges.

Thanks, I'm super glad I can help! :D Yep, I don't even get it wet. I put my hair up and wash my body only, about every 2 days. I get my hair wet and deep condition every two weeks, emphasis on strands not scalp. Over washing will dry you the fuck out. You may be greasy at first, but your body adapts when it realizes you aren't trying to rip off all the oil it produces - which it produces to protect itself. I have dry thick hair on top of that. Here's all the products I use, including face and body soap. The green one is heat protectant spray to prevent heat damage when curling or blow drying, only to be applied after showering while hair is wet. In the background you can also see Hydrocortisone cream, which i apply to any redness or rashes or bumps that appear anywhere on my body. (Was essential for the itchy skin phase at month 2.) Also not pictured is my Aveeno body lotion which I apply all over my body and face anytime after washing or shaving. Everything in your life should be sensitive skin and hydrating.

• Go to a GOOD salon. Don't do a Super Cuts at the mall. You get what you pay for. My haircuts are $200-300. And don't be afraid to splurge on REAL human hair tape extensions at a top salon if your hair is too short or thin!! The results and dysphoria reduction is totally worth it and you won't be able to tell your own hair from the extensions. It's like an effective surgery.
  
  
  
• Avoid dying your hair regardless of the salon. I keep my hair 100% natural so it is always super healthy and looks great. Your color is you! Wear it proudly! Make it work!
  
  
• Put your hair up in braids at night. Helps to prevent tangles and gives it waves. Also braids are hot and great to practice and get good at. You can also braid your hair when damp and slightly blow dry and then sleep on them. You'll have waves in the morning. I don't do this often as I don't get my hair wet often and I tend to avoid tension when my hair is wet to prevent breakage.
  
  
• Do not brush or comb your hair when wet! That is when it is at its weakness. Think of wet paper. Blow dry it after applying heat spray and as it dries brush gently.
  
  
  
• Be gentle. Every broken or lost hair is years of hard work gone. Hold a funeral for every hair lost.
  
  
• Avoid campfire smoke, cigarette smoke, weed smoke, smog pollution, rain, intense sun or heat, weird smells, put hair up and away if cooking to keep smell and smoke out of it, avoid sleeping on sand paper, CHLORINE HOLY FUCK DON'T SWIM IN POOLS OR THE OCEAN WITHOUT HAIR CAPS! Obviously you can be bad and do these things every now and then. I mean, you should have a life! Just don't do them every week. It's like dessert.
  
  
• Perform this ritual every night. You'll need an umbrella.
  
  
• Finally, remember to sing this incantation.
  
  Other essentials:
  
  
• Silk Pillowcase (Essential, you lay on your hair for half the day!! Friction = Fizz, dryness, breakage! The more silk in your life the better.)
  
• Waist Trainer (Only the ones with 25 spiral felixboning supports!! The fabric ones aren't nearly as good. As I've written elsewhere in this thread, I wear it 5-8 hours a day, went from a 27" to a 23" waist or a M to an XS. Needs to be replaced bi-monthly. You will break it and it will stretch over time.)
  
• Teeth Whitening Kit (Which, fun fact, depending on how sensitive your teeth are, you can literally continuously to bleach them treatment after treatment in the same day to get them crazy white. But stop if it hurts too much!)
  
• Extra safe hair brush (It's for extensions and meant to be super gentle, but holy smokes it's wonderful for natural hair too which you also don't want damaged!)
  
• A Cat (Helps confirm you have boobs. Pretty sure purrs and kneading are magical kitty kisses that make them grow. Naming your boobs such as "Angelina" and "Jolie" in my case will also give them the inspiration they need to grow up big and strong and ready to be motorboated by the person of your choice.)
  
  Hope this helps! <3

First and foremost, please don't kill yourself. You need to go see a therapist right now. If that's not at all possible, here's the number for the suicide prevention hotline, which is free and confidential: 1-800-273-8255.

>I feel i'll always be an outsider looking in.

This is imposter syndrome, and it's something that I think many of us deal with or have dealt with. I'm in a very similar situation to you. I just recently turned 28, pre-everything, and have often felt like no matter what I do it will always feel fake.

One thing, that has helped me tremendously as of late, is getting serious about improving my self care routine. Get some really nice conditioner for your hair (I like this one: Aussie Miracle conditioner), exfoliate your skin, get a decent razor to take care of your body hair (I use this one for my arms, legs, chest, back, and even face, and it works great and is completely waterproof: Panasonic Electric Wet/Dry (Be sure to use the pop-up trimmer the first time you use it)), get some body lotion (I just picked this one up the other day and I love it: 'You Are Amazing' Lavender Fields)

It doesn't seem like much, but just taking special care of my body instead of letting it waste away like I had been (since I'm obviously dysphoric about it so why take care of something I hate) has drastically improved my current outlook on life.

You are not alone okay. We're all in this together little sis.

Well the book 'Facial Feminization Surgery' would be a good place to start if you don't know much about it. If you're interested in it, get the kindle version if you can, the physical copies are pretty expensive. It'll help give you an idea of what's possible and what the limitations are, though it came out in 2010 so it might be a little out dated, idk.

RealSelf.com would be another good resource. It'll help give you an idea of the costs of everything and you can read many peoples 1st hand account of what the process is like.

Deschamps-Braly(San Franscisco), Speigel(Boston), and Zukowski(Chicago) are probably the biggest names for it if you wanted to stay in the US. Facial Team(Spain), and Di Maggio(Argentina) also have really good reputations and will likely be cheaper than the top surgeons in the US.

As for results/ experience, message me in a couple months, I'm having FFS next week on the 22nd.

Sorry to hear that, we have to be seriously careful being trans. To lose weight I've been doing daily hikes/walks and have been wearing tights (I have both a cute blue pair and a grey pair, along with some cute light blue/light pink accented walking shoes, just got some these pink yoga/running shorts: https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07RWN1YRN/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o07_s02?ie=UTF8&psc=1 ). I tuck to hide having a bulge, I find that very unsightly.

Anyways its not all guys, but there are certainly some sketch looking guys as I walk around my beach side town. Being somewhat androgynous (even though I'm pre everything, I think I pull off andro somewhat) and wearing somewhat female attire, those guys certainly can freak me out. Specially some of the guys that have bulked up their body, can make me nervous.

I live in a fairly liberal town, but we are also a big tourist town, so summer can bring in all types of people. So be careful out there all us trans males/females/non-binary. Not all the world is ready for us trans that are out of the norm of two binary genders.

So I found and ordered these last night. It's a start and they look cute. Hope to receive them next week. https://www.amazon.com/Headband-Cycling-Running-Exercise-Hairband-Sweatband/dp/B075M89MW7/ref=pd_sbs_194_5?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B075M89MW7&pd_rd_r=1H957FC0MGNK6C2W67M6&pd_rd_w=WGQGV&pd_rd_wg=Vvk6F&psc=1&refRID=1H957FC0MGNK6C2W67M6

Buy shaving powder on Amazon, mix it 1 to 1 with water and just coat your body, wait 15 minutes, it's gentle unlike Nair and doesn't burn, just wash off with a warm cloth and all the hair is gone, I'll post the Amazon link

Magic Shaving Powder Gold 4.5... https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0048ZIFA0?ref=ppx_pop_mob_ap_share

I said it before and I'll say it again:

https://smile.amazon.com/Big-Skinny-How-Changed-Fattitude-ebook/dp/B00B9J2GIU/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+big+skinny+carol&qid=1571326736&sr=8-1

Best diet book evah!

The Original Magic Wand with Free Wand Essentials Travel Massager https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01DCHMIF2/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_ha0LzbSFFNM3D

Anything on WPATH, especially Standards of Care.
http://www.wpath.org/site_page.cfm?pk_association_webpage_menu=1351&pk_association_webpage=3926

Or for books,
https://www.amazon.com/Transgender-101-Simple-Guide-Complex/dp/0231157134/ref=zg_bs_292220_9?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=EBVF6NYB8WEDYJV3QQ2V

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00KQK8ZNS/_encoding=UTF8?coliid=IHPM46PH6Y3V4&colid=2D9LUQVR7VBM4

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B008RLYG4A/_encoding=UTF8?coliid=I1HWEACNDBBLTZ&colid=2D9LUQVR7VBM4

Have you tried a depilatory on it? I personally use this which quite honestly works fantastic. Just wear gloves or you will really mess up your nails.

Personally I find coarseness is more important than length for consistent epilating. Just experiment a bit and find out for yourself what you can epilate and what you can't to get the idea. Also the quality of the epilator is very important, it's not worth it to cheap out. $100 USD is the minimum you want to pay imo. I recommend this one. If you're really pinching pennies go for the epil 7, but otherwise the 9 is totally worth the money.

I highly recommend this one:

Suddenly Fem Comfort Smooth Thong Gaff - Black Satin -M https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006VYPQ5I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apap_TJ27EfQ9kBb6g

Here is the ones I use. Not sure about others and these are pricy at $30 a pair. But these are very nice.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006VYPQ5I?psc=1&ref=yo_pop_mb_pd_title

Yea if you think you'll be able to get your forehead done I'd just wait it out. I definitely recommend buying his book though:

Facial Feminization Surgery: A Guide for the Transgendered Woman

It's old so it uses some outdated terminology, but afaik the procedures are still accurate.

Someone recommended the thong gaff from suddenly fem, and OMG, I have never been comfortable in my tuck until I wore it.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006VYPQ5I/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Rq2.BbZHB2YQR

Someone else recommended this one to me. It's cheaper yet good quality still. For me, it didn't fit as well.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018EU8PBI/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_Ar2.BbQ2WRKHX

They're both thicker than panties, but it's really needed for me and others who have extra to conceal. I've always been jealous of girls who don't tuck. But ditching my homemade gaffs for these was a good move.

https://www.amazon.com/Facial-Feminization-Surgery-Guide-Transgendered-ebook/dp/B004LB49GK/