(Part 3) Best products from r/NoFap

I personally think that you should appreciate women's beauty, however I feel that catcalling would be unnecessary i didn't see any approach done "right", i actually feel that people, specially men should learn some social dynamics specially towards talking to the opposite sex, and by this i don't mean learn pick up and fuck as many girls as possible and shit like that, but because I feel that its important to be able to connect with women in a way. I feel that a lot of rapes, and sexual frustration, and probably prostitution is because men want an easy way out, and don't want to put in the work to approach women, and now you could even go online dating if you don't like it but i think that men become more aware of how to deal with this certain situation, I am working on myself to be able to approach a girl and give her a genuine compliment and to mean it because I say it and say it because I mean it, not to get attention that just because by catcalling people I 'prove im manly' they come off as needy and shit.

Although I feel that people, specially women, if you learned some pick up or rather some more sociability they see that as ungenuine and even more chumpy, but the counter argument i would say is they are not being genuine either, they use make up and they are manipulating their appearance to look more attractive and in a way is manipulating me to think better of them, I am against some of the principles of pick up but the dating science isn't wrong, but its on the right path. I personally think that, like in my case, if you know you suck with women, and you don't want to be in a path of crappiness and neediness, via using prostitution to get laid or roofing people to get laid or rather rape girls, or vast usage of porn, I would say that its good.

I personally would recommend reading Models by Mark Manson because the book is really fucking awesome and it would make you a better man, and perhaps reading the 'further reading' books from that book help you understand the mating system of humans, and to become a better man. I think the book itself is actually really good because it states more than just to get laid is to find quality women to be fullfillled and be more happier with women, and in a way is actually attacking the dating science in a way by attacking The Mystery Method which all pick up could be summed up by that single book. In a way I would recommend both and take the best from both because neither of them is 'wrong' but niether one of them is 'right'. I do agree with Manson's idea of confidence and working in yourself more than in women and being sexualy fulllfilled doesn't require large amounts of women, while I also agree with Mystery's focus on competence vs. confidence because he says that you can't quantify confidence and rather focus on number of approaches and really statistics because that shows competence and successful competence breeds confidence eventually but in a way Manson's idea is better, because he is coming from a place of abundance of women and general happiness, is like saying being 'good' with women is something you are and not do and your looks, money demographics and ect does matter in the equation, over mystery's idea which is coming from neediness, because he refers as girls having 'high value' and by that you are infering that you aren't enough for her so you have to in a way manipulate yourself into making her thinking you are 'good enough' so that it doesn't matter if you look like a fucking troll no matter what if your 'game' is 'tight' it doesn't matter what even if the girl is married or anything really, she will sleep with you and that isn't the case, because mysetery uses a lot of indirect and 'fool proof' tactics that are more convoluted than just expressing your intent and if it doesn't work out move on asap, I'd say that take the best they both are right, and both concepts are correct but im leaning more the natural no scripts type of things and just being freeforming it.
I'd recommend both people getting those two books and they will change your life or at least make you think better and be more aware of how to flirt better. And perhaps reading Double your Dating by David DeAngelo, this one focuses more on dating girls and setting up and getting exposure to women over, is focused on both competence and confidence, and in a more natural way. I'd say get them, you can torrent them if you are so cheap, but defenitely read up on them and see what comes out of it.

So defenitely get Models by mark manson and Mystery Method because you can get a really clear picture on the subject of picking up women, and Double your Dating by David D just the simple ebook don't dig too much into it.

other books, I heard of them, and read some reviews on amazon and they seem to have really good reviews but I haven't gotten them or read them but they seem legit too.

Bang by roosh V

Day bang by roosh v

The manual by W. Anton

the Natural by richard la ruina

Get inside her by Marni Kinrys

they all seem like good resources to start and move on from there... and work on specific sticking point, but i'd say don't believe everything use them as guidelines and not as rules, and take them with a pinch of salt. the reason for this was because when I read the Mystery Method, it was well argued and every contingency is planned for, that I couldn't really find fault with the method, And so I believed all the "high value" bullshit that i fucking felt that i needed to one up everybody and that isn't the case, i was able to rescue myself from that mindset by Models, and I really thought it was genuine and it doesn't rely on too much bullshit and is more natural there is no one upping bullshit. I am not preching seduction community but i feel men should know what they are doing, specially if they suck like me, and be just more aware of things.

Perhaps i'd also reccomend
Gifts of Imperfection by Breene Brown since this book really digs somewhat on the self acceptance/self worth/self esteem part and what pick up artist would call 'inner game' ...
I'd say pick whatever books you want to BUT STOP reading too much into it, i became too paranoid and wanted to read every book on pick up out there and that is not the case guys, hope i helped.

TLDR--read books, become aware, know better, don't be a creep but don't be chump either, get informed guys know your shit,

I'm not the guy you're replying to, but I can heartily recommend Models: Attract Women Through Honesty. It really focuses more on "inner game"* over "tricks" or routines to memorize. While the Mystery Method may have given you routines to fool women into thinking you're an attractive man with a good life, this book focuses on actually making youself an attractive man with a good life.

I haven't gotten all the way through the book yet (let alone actually applying any of the concepts), but I think it condenses a lot of the thinking in most of the latest PUA models in a pretty short book that, at the very least, gives you a jumping off point to start with it.

Magic Bullets and Love Systems' Routine Manuals are decent too if you are looking for actual material to talk to women with until you get more comfortable with actually talking to women without having scripts to go by.

• I don't know how familiar you are with pick up terminology, but inner game refers to your mindset and other external factors which affect your confidence and intent. There's a lot of suggestions that talk about improving your life, broadening your experiences, and trying to give yourself a desire to experience more than just sitting in front of a computer when you aren't trying to pick up women.

For meditation, I would read Mindfulness in Plain English and try a guided meditation like the one Sam Harris has on his site (his podcast is also great if you've never checked it out) and maybe think about something like headspace (there are also free online guided meditation services but I am not aware of any to recommend).

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Also definitely stay away from porn, it will do nothing except to damage you. Can't emphasize how crucial this is if you want to see the true benefits of nofap and regain/maintain a natural perspective on sex and women. Something that may help is to tell yourself "okay, I will watch porn, but only after I do x", where x is a cold shower or workout or something else productive (I think change of environment is essential to it being as effective as possible). Once you have finished, you probably will not want to watch porn. I would also look at your diet (it really helps): try to minimize processed foods and high fat items, and replace them with fresh fruit and veggies. Frozen wild blueberries are great for your health and I make a smoothie with them every day.

Starting Strength Buy that book, read it, start the program. Its a program for gaining strength (and in your case, some lean mass) and it has helped me a lot in life. It will help you conquer the laziness.

I find that waking up really early everyday and having a set routine helps a great deal as well. I wake up at 5am everyday to make sure I get shit done. I meditate, work out, brush teeth, shower, do yoga, breathing exercises and kegels before most other people even wake up. And doing that much stuff that early in the morning not only makes me be more energetic with my time for the rest of the day, but also ensures that I go to bed pretty damn early (like at 9pm) effectively cutting out the time when I am MOST tempted to fap. It takes some motivation, yeah, but it ain't impossible mate.

But do what works best for you. I simply am doing what works for me and my life. Assemble your life in such a fashion that you simply are forced to succeed.

There is a great book about the TAO by Daniel Reid who puts in Western words for us to understand clear practices, advices and reasons for the fundaments of ancient chinese philosophy. Great book, and he makes a big point of saying that men have to abstain from ejcaulating as much as possible. Not from having sex, but from cumming basically. Having sex without waste of semen is the best thing we can do as in theory we absorb from the "magical juices" that women secrete when excited: Very powerful juices which are absorbed through the penis, but should also be ingested whenever possible :)

https://www.amazon.com/Tao-Health-Sex-Longevity-Practical/dp/067164811X

This book is for you: http://www.amazon.com/Slight-Edge-Turning-Disciplines-Happiness/dp/1626340463/

It teaches a method that will enable you to get out of your situation with 100% guarantee if you follow it (yes, guarantee - literally). It's nothing magical, but in fact simple and easy to do. The only catch is that you need to do it, you need to read it and apply it. I did it (but honestly, forgot about it once I reached my goal - I need to read it again!). This is one of the books that can really change your life. Good luck!

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Sorry to hear your girlfriend broke up with you. I'm a woman, but I definitely understand where you're coming from. I think there is a grieving process that you have to go through after a breakup, and that's different for everyone. Ironically, what really helped me process my last breakup was The Break-Up Manual for Men. https://www.amazon.com/Break-Up-Manual-Men-Stronger-ebook/dp/B013VPV02M

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I wanted a different perspective on it so I could gain practical strategies for moving on with my life, not just get out there again without really processing any emotions, and this book really worked for me. It might take some time, but eventually, you'll feel ready to date again. Think about your goals in life, and what you want in a new partner, and try to work toward those things every day to fill up the time and heal your heart. Peace

Already on a 5-day streak and don't plan on stopping at all. Probably the next time I'll fap is maybe in 10-20 years for fun. But anyway, a little bit of myself and why I'm doing this.

A while ago I purchased a book called The Daily Stoic which gives daily quotes on how to live life in accordance to Stoicism philosophy. I've always wanted to become a Stoic and so I quickly picked up this book with almost no hesitation.

Every page begins with a quote from a Stoic philosopher e.g. Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, Seneca, etc.

It wasn't until I came to the quote of February 13th, Pleasure Can Become Punishment, when I was really struck:

"Whenever you get an impression of some pleasure, as with any impression, guard yourself from being carried away by it, let it await your action, give yourself a pause. After that, bring to mind both times, first when you have enjoyed the pleasure and later when you will regret it and hate yourself. Then compare to those the joy and satisfaction you’d feel for abstaining altogether. However, if a seemingly appropriate time arises to act on it, don’t be overcome by its comfort, pleasantness and allure - but against all of this, how much better the consciousness of conquering it.”

~Epictetus, Enchiridion, 34

After reading this particular quote, I suddenly reflected back on the days I would jack off and realised that I was not a very energetic person. I also came to realise that I was not reaching my full potential as a student and I could not get in the university that I truly wanted. Then I suddenly thought of another thing: there's a subreddit called NoFap.

I went on my computer and read about as much as I could on NoFap. Once I began to find out about the benefits of NoFap was when I soon started to see how all of this made sense. I was drained of energy, tired all the time, had trouble getting up in the morning, had minor social awkwardness, barely studied eventhough I knew I had to, received sort of mediocre grades, among many other things that I felt was wrong with me. I decided at that point that fapping was the main culprit of most if not all of my life's problems and decided to abstain from PMO altogether.

Note that everything I've said above was during my holidays. Later towards the end of this month, I'll be joining a new college with another chance to enter the university of my choice which I previously failed to. I'm gonna have a better social life there and I'll have much more energy to study and become a better person in general.

I've relapsed twice so far and 5 days ago was the last one for as long as I live.

That's why I'm here.

Thank you for your openness. You've taken the first steps into changing your life. NoFap is an essential part of this process, but your depression should be directly addressed by additional means. I recommend reading Dr. David Burns's "Feeling Good Handbook" (http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0452281326/ref=mp_sim_p_dp_1?pi=SL500_SY125)

Best wishes.

I agree that gimmicky PUA shit isn't the way to go. I've read Mark Manson's book and it was helpful, but it's definitely helpful to get info from additional sources. These books are pretty essential IMO:

https://www.amazon.com/Mate-Become-Man-Women-Want/dp/0316375365/

https://www.amazon.com/How-Win-Friends-Influence-People/dp/0671027034/

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294

Funny how the mind works and can create so much suffering. I recommend taking up meditation.

You could start by reading Sam Harris' new book Waking Up.

You could also take up a meditative practice. If you're unfamiliar with this territory, Sam Harris has some nice guided meditation audio here.

I would suggest you read "How to Be a 3% Man, Winning the Heart of the Woman of Your Dreams" You need to learn about women...don't blame them simply because you don't understand them. https://www.amazon.com/How-Be-Man-Corey-Wayne/dp/1411673360

Yes , it is bad because you may become an addict too. Just google 'sexual addiction' and you will find what you may become. Instead, you need to learn how to manage your emotions in a better way. I have read the book 'breaking an addiction' that help me to understand that the only exit from all this shit is to work in yourself and stop depending on external stimulus to feel good. In fact, the author explains how easy can be to switch from one addiction to another because the addict looks constantly for relief. https://www.amazon.com/Breaking-Addiction-7-Step-Handbook-Ending/dp/0061987395

Here's an approach that might help synch up your libidos better: http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Sex-Men-Making-Meditation/dp/1594773114 Congratulations on your effort to make a shift.

It's a book with quotes from Stoic philosophers and commentary, in the form of a daily devotional. It's excellent material for addicts.

The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living

This is going to be a real challenge. i seriously recommend reading The Power of Habit (http://www.amazon.com/The-Power-Habit-What-Business/dp/1400069289/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1371689543&sr=8-1&keywords=habit). It's a great book and will help with both of your goals.

• Start going for long walks daily
  
• Look into hiking (perhaps getting into /r/BarefootHiking)
  
• Start working out
  
• Begin reading, either fiction that's interesting, or non fiction to learn or improve yourself. I highly recommend The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck
  
• Pick up a second part time job (or get one if you don't have.)
  
• Start working on new skills that have always been of interest you you (great to have for future jobs, and working towards becoming freelance)
  
• Meditate
  
• Serve/help others - volunteer time for causes and events (also good for connections)
  
  I can't even get to half that stuff I'm so occupied. You should not be 'bored' because if you're bored, you're doing lit wrong.

This is a book that was true eye opener for me. I never used to be able to understand why the fuck all the pricks were getting all the hot chick and I never was.

http://www.amazon.com/Mystery-Method-Beautiful-Women-Into/dp/0312360118

Yes, I know it sounds cheesy and seems too good to be true. I've been just where you are right now. Just read it and then see if it helps you with your problem. Good luck bro

I recommend buying a book on meditation, reading it daily, and meditating right afterwards. Your meditation routine will change and improve as you read the book. I started with "Mindfulness in Plain English" by Bhante Henepola Gunaratana (http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-20th-Anniversary/dp/0861719069/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1418423257&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+in+plain+english) and I'm on my third meditation book now. :)

Nice!

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I'm now 2 years free of Alcohol and 7 months free of weed. I tried and failed many times to quit, the only way I managed was with these two books:

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https://www.amazon.com/Allen-Carrs-Easyway-Control-Alcohol/dp/1848374658/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=the+easy+way+alcohol&qid=1563961889&s=gateway&sr=8-1

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https://www.amazon.com/Joy-Quitting-Cannabis-Freedom-Marijuana-ebook/dp/B00AUIOSNW/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2M7JD0B3VULCC&keywords=the+joy+of+quitting+cannabis&qid=1563961916&s=gateway&sprefix=the+joy+of+qui%2Caps%2C193&sr=8-1

With all respect, you need a hobby to help make this work. Of course these things are different for everyone, but for me, I find it very hard to be horny while lifting weights. I know you go to the gym, but I have no idea what you do there, so I recommend this book. I could never find a team sport or activity I enjoyed, but when I learned to squat and deadlift, it changed my life. I also enjoy this style of exercise because it is largely solitary--all successes and failures are yours and yours alone. Anyway, just my two cents, but find a use for all the extra time you will have.

https://www.amazon.com/What-Every-BODY-Saying-Speed-Reading/dp/0061438294

Is this the book you are referring to?

Also, what comedy shows do you recommend, for multiple reasons I've been trying to look for them for some time. :)

I discovered this book a long time ago in this community, and now I'll pass it forward to you: http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Sex-Men-Making-Meditation/dp/1594773114

It talks a lot about PE and anxiety, and the benefits of cooling the sex down. Our view of sex is a rock hard penis hammering a vagina. The author of the book defends that the penis is most sensitive on a semi-flacid state.

Personally I still couldn't practice everything the book preaches, but it's a great reading and have a lot of new concepts that I would never have imagined.

Oh yea, those are also great recommendations.

By the way Mark just released a new book that's pretty fucking awesome. I haven't finished it yet but so far it is basically a compilation of all of his ideas.

https://www.amazon.com/Subtle-Art-Not-Giving-Counterintuitive/dp/0062457713/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1483378133&sr=8-1&keywords=the+subtle+art+of+not+giving+a+f---+mark+manson

Small things does not show right away. Small things + time = huge improvement. Your comment above reminds me of the content of the book: http://www.amazon.com/The-Slight-Edge-Disciplines-Happiness/dp/1626340463

Keep it up!

I mean you got certain tribes around the world that treat No Fap like a Religion because of the benefits that it brings .. let them Fap, you'll just be standing out more above the crowd...effortlessly. Im working on dates right now, so when I reach up in the 70 to 90 days and above , I got some real ass to transmute my sex energy on. Speaking of Sex Energy, this book has helped me out and understand the power of No Fap..peep it out

http://www.amazon.com/Harness-Power-Energy-Accomplish-Anything-ebook/dp/B00I467IIE

The Tao of Health, Sex, and Longevity

Edit: I would also add that if you actually get blue balls, actual soreness and/or pain in your balls from delayed ejaculation, then masturbation is a great response. I have no idea what would happen if you don't masturbate but it seems like a bad idea. You're only supposed to get blue balls when you expect to ejaculate and then don't get to for whatever reason. Barring coitus interruptus, you are probably experiencing a disconnect between body and mind, i.e. you are getting horny and you don't know how to deal with it. Over time you will learn how to deal with it and the fapping will decrease in proportion to the improved body/mind harmony.

Edit edit: Read this little rant I posted on r/seduction regarding porn. Sorry I'm new to this subreddit so I don't know what the attitude around here to porn is, but personally I'm more anti-porn than I am anti-fap (of course too much of either is bad).

OP, I don't know you, but I know you deserve better than this girl. She's isn't as awesome as you think she is. She might get her shit together someday, but she is not where you need her to be right now. Don't start relationships with people and expect them to change. That never works out.

As for advice, I recommend reading "Models: Attract Women Through Honesty." This book will tell you everything you need to know about courting women.

Here's a link:
http://www.amazon.com/Models-Attract-Women-Through-Honesty-ebook/dp/B005EOTH24/ref=sr_sp-atf_title_1_1

This is the slight edge. There's a book about it: https://www.amazon.com/Slight-Edge-Turning-Disciplines-Happiness/dp/1626340463

It's not about getting better in a day, it's about getting better over the course of days.

You should definitely check out Mindfulness in Plain English, by Bhante Gunaratana http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Plain-English-Anniversary-Edition/dp/0861719069/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1369080789&sr=8-1&keywords=mindfulness+in+plain+english

I had the same questions, as to where exactly to start, but this book introduces you to one of the main schools of meditation in a very simple jargon-free and PRACTICAL way, as opposed to theory.

Yea, I can't remember the name of the book. Just kidding, one google search found it..

But the example they gave was of someone biting their nails, and they gave this girl a notecard. And every time she wanted to bite her nails, she was supposed to mark the notecard. But what you said about triggers is true because I remember them trying to get her to realize what sensations, restlessness, nervous, itchy fingers, whatever it was that she felt that then led her to bite her nails. When she felt those things, she was supposed to mark the card.

The idea I guess is that habits are so ingrained in us (I think they're part of the reptilian brain, whatever that one is called, the one near the brain stem I think), that it is easier to change some part of the habit loop than try to eliminate the whole thing in one fell swoop.

Here's a book that helped me get into meditation: https://smile.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1594773114/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?qid=1457031752&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=making+love+meditation&dpPl=1&dpID=51d4Flq-lfL&ref=plSrch


Second book is correct

http://www.amazon.com/Tantric-Sex-Men-Making-Meditation/dp/1594773114

I follow the instructions in this book: https://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-English-Bhante-Henepola-Gunaratana/dp/0861719069

That is based on the Buddhist tradition, as simple as it gets there.

They have taken the elements from Buddhist meditation and stripped it down a bit. Here is an example of an simple instruction:

http://i.imgur.com/2GehUR4.jpg


The absolute basics:

Sit still, spine erect without back support, focus on the breathing, when you get distracted by a thought or sensation, go back to the breath, repeat. Do it a couple of minutes every day and see where it take you.