Best products from r/PMDD

Hey, I hope you're doing ok! Honestly, breakups with the PMDD and anxious attachment have been a nightmare, so it's super important that you're good to yourself! It's really hard to reprogram to not seek anything from avoidant people, it's so triggering and just becomes a cycle. It sounds like you went through that a lot in that relationship, and it's probably not the dynamic you want. And both people have to be onboard to really fix a relationship. So tough! I empathize. If you can, focus totally on yourself and let the relationship go, at least for awhile. That's advice I wish I had taken. I feel like when we have PMDD we end up taking the blame for relationship failures but I also feel like, how hard is it for partners of people with PMDD to have some compassion? I know it's not easy to live with on either side, but I feel like avoidant people or toxic relationship situations use PMDD against us and don't acknowledge our suffering. Plenty of people on here have understanding partners, so it gives me hope.

As for the Xanax and using it for sleep or getting rebound anxiety, I think a sleep routine could be helpful. Get yourself some nice comfy pajamas, a nice facewash and maybe some melantonin (I'm partial to the gummies) and/or magnesium (something like this one) and get into a book or podcast, something that isn't screen-based. Give yourself like an hour for a pre-bed routine and put on your pajamas and power down, even do one of those youtube yoga bedtime routines (I like the videos by Adrienne). That was one of the most helpful things my therapist suggested I do. I also keep Tylenol PM or a sleep aid like Midnite on hand in case I feel like too wound up, which usually happens for me around PMDD time. Mine lasts about 10 days too.

I try to save the Xanax for times when I'm feeling super aggro and either can't calm down or I feel like I'm going to snap at people at work. I use weed for when I'm feeling that way at home. Basically, I control my environment as much as possible and work on keeping myself happy and developing interests or social connections that make me feel better rather than worse. It's a learning experience to see what helps and what hurts, and how those two things get confused sometimes. And when I can't control the PMDD or what's going on, I take Xanax. But once you figure out things in your life that might be making the PMDD worse or trigger the anxious attachment, I think it will get a little easier.

Gosh. So very sorry.
To just highlight a few of the points other posters make:

• it's incredibly difficult to notice that this is a pattern when it's happening to you. When someone is incredibly upset, we don't generally question whether there's an underlying reason we're more likely to get triggered. It feels like we're legit mad at the trigger. And it feels like the scope of the response is justified. If there's a lot going on, it might be hard to get the distance to see that there's a pattern.
  
  
• I know that I'm incredibly sensitive to the idea of being "crazy". "Crazy" is a word we use to devalue people. "Crazy" people don't make important decisions. "Crazy" people aren't trusted. "Crazy" people lose their autonomy. Being hijacked by hormones for half the month sounds a lot like "crazy" and that is downright terrifying. It's terribly unfortunate that we've got this stigma wrapped around this problem, and the stigma makes it a lot harder to seek help, and a lot harder to have open conversations with people about it.
  
  
• pointing out the good times has never helped me. It's like discovering that your employee hasn't been doing any work for the last three weeks and when you confront them about it, ready to fire them, they point out that they've worked for you for years without a problem. You're unlikely to say, "oh, yeah, that's right. My bad. This will pass." You're more likely to think that maybe they've been pulling this shit on you for years and you haven't noticed.
  
  
• if she's talking about divorce and gas lighting, listen to her. She's saying you have a relationship problem. Relationship problems happen to literally Everyone. It's not possible to have an equal relationship with someone without going through some of this. Relationshipping is HARD even without PMDD added to the mix. Remember how, at your wedding, everyone who was married said, "this is work. A LOT of work."? This is is what they were talking about.
  
  
• as much as I dislike feeling personally hijacked by my hormones, I have come to appreciate that if there's something that's really bugging me, it WILL get addressed at that time of month even if the rest of the month I'm sweet and easy going. Your wife is no wilting flower. She has a strong will to survive and if you can step back, you'll see an incredibly powerful woman who is trying to figure shit out. (She's coming into her power, so to speak.) This version of her is also eminently worthy of your love. And woah, what an incredible ally to have at your side! <3
  
  Here's the fantastic news: you don't have to get a divorce. You don't have to go to therapy. Your wife doesn't need to be confronted or medicated or fixed. These are, of course, options, but none of these options will get you back to the way things were.
  
  Getting back to the way things were isn't actually an option.
  
  Let that sentence percolate for a minute. You're likely to have a lot of emotional response to that fact, and, if you're anything like most people, you'll spend most of your life denying that fact. But you're different than you were when you were a kid. You're different than you were before you had kids. You are growing and changing all the time. It makes sense that your relationship needs to grow and change too.
  
  Getting back to the way things were isn't actually an option.
  
  But, that fact can set you free. You CAN find new ways to love your wife, live your life, and you CAN address some of the things that have cropped up in your relationship.
  
  It's incredibly powerful to realize that you have the power to change your relationship dynamic by changing how you respond to her, how you respond to yourself. Having love and compassion for your wife starts with having love and compassion for yourself. And from a place of love and compassion, real growth and change can happen. You are worth it. Your family is worth it. Your wife is worth it.
  
  Check out "Feeling Good Together" by David Burns. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0767920821/ref=sxts_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527002252&sr=1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65
  
  And "Be The Person You Want to Find" by Cheri Huber. https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0963625527/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1527002335&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=be+the+person+you+want+to+find
  
  
  

I had written this huge reply for you but by the time I got to the end of it, I felt most of it may be irrelevant for you and everyone else who may read this post. I'll be happy to pm it to you, but I fear you may think it's a bit off-the-wall.

For more immediate relief though, I've tried a high dose of vitamin D3. This article has some great info on the differences between vitamin D and D3, how they can help your body and how much to take http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/02/23/oral-vitamin-d-mistake.aspx

I started taking 10,000IU's a day (2 gel caps in the morning) of this brand https://www.amazon.com/dp/B002EA99HE/ref=twister_B001J4YN72?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 and by the end of the second day I had a calmness wash over me. My mind stopped cycling and I was able to relax and "breathe," if you know what I mean. I haven't had an anger outburst since I've been taking them, when I would have several a day. I was always feeling like I was in a state of being attacked and paranoid before I started taking it. I am not a doctor but the difference it made to me was amazing. It also made my unrelenting depression MUCH more tolerable and I was able to have motivation to get some things done again. However, I've only been taking this for about a week so far. I really want to see how it affects that time of the month, which has not come yet but is about to.

I hope you can get help from this sub. It has been a great support for me. Feel free to pm if you want to talk more.

I hope it helps! The only foods I've noticed don't help me are sugar and other processed grains. If you're still craving something sweet I highly recommend the Atkins brand sweets! They taste amazing and many have little to no sugar! A lot of them also have a good amount of protein!

A word on gluten though, unless you have Celiacs, gluten is fine. There is no such thing as gluten sensitivity. Now you can be allergic to wheat/rye while not having issues with gluten specifically though! Simply switching to whole grain breads helped a lot for me!

One thing that might help your cramps too are herbal supplements! I'm trying this tincture out soon (it's in the mail) but have had great success using other supplements with the same herbs(though I take them more for the mood stabilizing effects). I don't like taking a bunch of pills though so I'm trying out the tincture route. A lot of the reviews specifically mention it relieving cramps! Good luck with the elimination process! Feel free to PM me if you ever need someone to talk to! :)

I used this one from the IAPMD website for six months and then took it to my doctor to get a referral to a gynaecologist.

It was ok for that purpose, but now I track just using a month to view paper calendar (like this ), and note down any symptoms I feel. I use the month to view as it means I can look back to the same time in previous months easily and see patterns in symptoms. I also note down anything that could have exacerbated the symptoms so I can hopefully spot patterns for self care in future.

I honestly think that the biggest help for my symptoms has been good tracking. It helps me avoid planning stressful events when I’m likely to be bad, and helps me see that what I’m feeling may not be real.

The posts on this subreddit are awesome in identifying additional symptoms of PMDD which you may not have attributed to PMDD before.

This is my magical combo.

I swear by it. It is pretty much my new religion.

I'm a little obsessive about recording habits and symptoms. I've found when I combine all of these, my symptoms can be cut in half or better, and werewolf time is significantly shorter (1.5 weeks to two days or less). It's a life-changer.

​

• 100mg oxaloacetate daily- Used to use AOR Benagene, switched to Jubilance because it's cheaper- Taking this every day, all month, has made the biggest difference by far
  
• A few krill oil capsules with a meal daily- Jarrow brand or whatever's cheap online, most are made by the same manufacturer anyways
  
• Ashwagandha and Rhodiola 1/2 a week before and during PMDD window- I take a double dose of these every day right before and during the entire window.- It seems there might be a better effect spreading the dose throughout the day, but not sure yet. Only tried this for two cycles.- I use this Vitamonk blend, but anything with a high quality, high dose ashwaghanda+rhodiola has worked for me in the past.
  
• Less than two glasses of wine or cocktails per day- And no beer, ever. Especially crappy beer.- Drinking more than this, especially anything that induces any sort of hangover, anywhere near PMDD window, throws everything else to shit.
  
• At least one 45 second burst of high-intensity exercise daily- More is probably better, but as long as I get at least one heart-pounding, super intense burst per day, every day (including during PMDD time) it makes a world of difference. This is probably because I have an office job, so if I don't go to the gym, without this I get zero exercise.- All I do is, right before showering, run up and down my apartment stairs until my heart is pounding. If I can do at least that, every single day, symptom intensity goes down significantly.
  
• One avocado every other day (or more)- Not sure if the benefits come from the healthy fats for bolstering general brain health and resilience, or the fact that avocado goes well with the carby things like chips and toast, so by adding it I have less blood sugar ups and downs than I would have had otherwise. Probably both.

I feel the same way!! My boyfriend is like “it’s not even you, and sometimes I don’t even think you remember some of the episodes.” I do remember them, but I snap out of it and am like “I’m good now, chill everything is fine. It definitely seems like a bad dream. I’m terrified to change my birth control. My gyno wanted me to and convinced me at the appointment, and I called and cancelled it. I am on low-ogestrel, and I don’t think it has negatively affected my mood. I was so over the anxiety attacks and racing thoughts I was willing to try anything, but I was too afraid it would make my mood worse. The Prozac has honestly made my life liveable for the first time in 2-3 years. I have also tried a supplement call New Mood Onnit New Mood, Daily Stress Formula with 5-HTP, L-Tryptophan, and Vitamin B6, 90 Count https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00K1JQBWQ/ref=cm_sw_r_sms_c_api_1PQ0Ab006XVZ1 . It really did help during my PMS. I would look into that as well. To help relieve my PMDD, I have also tried breathing exercises and listening to the song Weightless by Marconi Union on Pandora https://www.pandora.com/artist/marconi-union/the-ambient-zone-just-music-cafe-vol-4/weightless/TRqdghl3PPXnqtK?part=ug&corr=24292111 . I know some of it sounds like hippy shit, but i always say that even if it helps a little bit it’s worth it! Oh, and the BEST thing I ever did for it naturally is CBD oil. I don’t know where you live for marijuana laws, but a 1:1 CBD oil tincture would stop anxiety attacks like a natural Xanax. During my anxiety attacks last week, I took a walk in a nature park and colored an adult coloring book. I just try to change up my thoughts as much as I can.

I take this lemon balm capsule that’s a life saver. I know it sounds stupid but it’s actual super calming for me, it’s like a mild Xanax. Very cheap too so you might find it worth a shot.

Nature's Way Premium Herbal Melissa Lemon Balm Leaf, 1,500 mg per serving, 100 Capsules (Packaging May Vary) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00020HQU0/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_B8rUDb0TCQRTE

P.S. in the link below - this stuff is great if you can get some before you go. They also sell it in individual packages on amazon, or you could find it at a grocery store/health food place. Magnesium in this form on the go for me has been a lifesaver during PMDD week. I just pour it in a water bottle. 2 teaspoons. They have it in different flavaz too.
👇

https://www.amazon.com/Natural-Vitality-Magnesium-Stress-Original/dp/B000OQ2DL4

Someone on here found a lot of help with this supplement: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQJVHHC/ it may or may not work for your gf but certainly worth a try!

You can test to see if you are ovulating with these. I'm not sure if it would tell you, but they test for a specific hormone so I think it would work. Then you can know a little better when pmdd would hit. you could probably track it with a period tracker app like clue too.