(Part 3) Best products from r/TwoXChromosomes

Update:


Thank you all for your suggestions!! I bought a few of the ones mentioned here as well as some others. I went a little overboard, but I figure I can space out the gifts for later in the year, and some are for her little brother too.

1. Nancy Drew (1-5) I LOVED these when I was younger, they're such a classic and Nancy's take charge attitude taught me so much.
   
   
2. Little Pea (for her brother) A cute little kids book about a young pea who has to eat all of his candy for dinner, so he can have veggies for dessert! It's so charming and silly and is a fun reversal for kids who don't want to eat their veggies :)
   
   
3. The Planets in Our Solar System (Let's-Read-and-Find-Out Science) Thanks for the suggestion /u/tectonicus!
   
   
4. The Daring Book for Girls - a fun reference for knowledge and classic kids games, always ideas for fun stuff to do!
   
   
5. Getting To Know The World's Greatest Artists - These art history books for kids gave me such a decent foundation in art history that when I finally took it in college I got my first A+ at a university level. Not to mention, having that knowledge made my time at art museums for field trips and such so much more relevant as I grew up! Also, I give these books full credit for my success in Jeopardy studio auditions :)
   
   

• >Van Gogh
  
• >Monet
  
• >O'Keefe
  
• >Da Vinci
  
• >Rockwell
  
• 
  
  
  
  
  (She's French born, so I made sure to include some American artists in there too.)
  
  

6. The Paper Bag Princess - another one of my favorites that my dad used to read to me when I was younger. I loved it because when the Dragon strikes, it's the princess who has to outsmart him to save the bratty prince :)
   
   
7. The Magic School Bus Lost In The Solar System, and The Magic School Bus On The Ocean Floor. Classics! Thank you /u/tectonicus, /u/mariposamariposa, and /u/caemin!
   
   
8. The Book with No Pictures by B.J. Novak - couldn't tell too much about this one, but it's supposed to be very clever and leave a lot to the kid's imagination, fun to read out loud!
   
   
9. Annie Oakley: Young Markswoman (Childhood of Famous Americans). Another book I enjoyed as a girl about a young woman who who "broke the mold" - stepping outside of social boundaries and working hard at something she was incredibly talented at.
   
   
10. The Way Things Work - This one looks great!
    Thank you /u/mariposamariposa, and /u/moration!
    
    
    Edit: For the commenters saying I should just give her princess stuff if that's what she likes - I have and will continue to. This year I spent over 100 hours making her an Elsa from Frozen dress for her birthday. This should be proof enough that I encourage and share her enthusiasm. http://imgur.com/a/ga9DQ

NOTE: i am not condoning copyright infringement. darjeelingdarling asked for internet sources, and much of the pua material is difficult to track down. i encourage people to financially contribute to content creators. if you follow the instructions here, you get an email with with a whole bunch of free downloads.

here's neil strauss on the view. it's a good intro, because he's ever so slightly in the hot seat.

for reading material, i would start with neil strauss's the game (and for those who can purchase the book). it gives a pretty sane perspective on the whole thing from someone who was positively affected by it. it has some techniques thrown in there, but it's primarily a story.

here are community archives mentioned in the game.

also, just search torrent sites for pua. i watched most of this and this. mystery is a douchebag, but i've learned a lot from him. style (neil strauss) is pretty decent. it's interesting that one of the like 5 guys in style's workshop is gay. who is that guy exploiting? :)

to me, the guys who feel they are tricking women into sleeping with them are losing. they think they need to trick women, because they don't think a woman could like who they are. mystery, douchebag though he may be, believes he is good enough, and he just has to attract women's attention, and communicate his personality.

the good thing about pua material is that it points out all these things that don't work, and gives alternatives. it gives you ways to approach women, and encourages you to develop your own based on the same principles. it encourages you to go out with a friend or two instead of going out alone to hook up. it gives you a simple rule set to follow when your heart jumps up into your mouth and your brain locks up. it teaches you how to construct a true story about yourself that communicates values you want to communicate. those can be any values you want to communicate. it teaches you how to read a woman's comfort level, and how to respond. it teaches you how to escalate touch in a way that feels comfortable to the recipient. it teaches you how to diffuse a situation with another aggressive male and not look psychologically weak. it teaches you how to use body language effectively to communicate social dominance or not appear too intensely interested. it teaches you to not treat a woman you're interested in with kid gloves, rather treat her like a friend or any other human being.

some of this may sound negative, but many complaints that women have about men that approach them are addressed above. in general, women are far more adept socially, and since women are allowed to touch other people in this culture, they know how to do it. guys aren't really allowed to touch each other with any tenderness whatsoever, or even really treat each other very kindly, so courting a woman is difficult. there's so much involved that you have to get rejected 1000 times before you learn social norms.

negging, the oft-misrepresented favorite of casual d-bag puas everywhere, is mostly about complimenting a woman without making her feel pressure. it includes teasing, but much in the way we will sometimes tease our friends with whatever we feel we can get away with with without hurting their feelings, you have to make sure you're not going overboard. teasing people relaxes them, and they can tease you, and everybody's happy.

that's not to say there aren't a whole bunch of idiots. but i always told my ex that if you hate things because idiots do them, you have to stop reading, doing yoga, eating, and drinking water. driving's out. and so is going to school, because that place is full of idiots. :P

i dunno. i think it's interesting. and i think women would benefit from consuming some of the material. you can learn a lot about how most people react socially, and recognize puas more easily and bust their balls. :)

You need a multi pronged attack!

First off, stop saying you want to lose weight. You want to lose fat. If you lose fat but gain muscle, you'll end looking sexy and fit. If you cut your calories too much and don't lift weights, you'll look underfed.

Did you know that it takes a month to build a habit? If you can start even one healthy habit now, and stick with it a month, you're much more likely to continue with it, because it will become a part of you.

Pick and choose, decide which will fit with your needs and schedule. You can make one change at a time and still make progress.

• Move more. I'm speaking of walking and stairs. You've already gotten a good start with this on the stairs, continue it! Park at the far end of the parking lot and walk to the mall from there. If you're close enough, walk to work, the store, whatever. This is not a workout, this is the new you. The fit and confident woman that enjoys walking.
  
• Join that gym and use the free training sessions you get. You should get at least one. In that session, talk to a trainer about your diet and what you should be working on. This will be a sales time, they will try to get you to buy sessions. Ignore that if you can't afford it, and use the time to get information. Tell your trainer that you're serious about losing fat, and ask to be shown how to lift freeweights. That will get you the quickest results.
  
• If you have a question on how to do something at the gym or need a spot, grab a trainer that's standing around not doing anything. That's what they're there for. Even if you haven't paid for a session, they'll usually show you how to do something - they don't want to get sued because they wouldn't show you and you hurt yourself.
  
• Cut down drastically on processed foods. If it doesn't come from the dairy, meat, seafood, or produce section, it's a processed food. Well, except nuts. This change will impact your life to a degree you won't believe until you do it for at least a week. Try new veggies! Foreign markets are great for this, you'll discover some really interesting foods you'd never heard of. Asian markets tend to be dirt cheap, as well. Don't be afraid of meat, especially if you're working out.
  
• Instead of thinking of this as deprivation, think of it as a way to broaden your horizons. You don't have to eat less, you can eat more if it's produce. You can learn to make some really wonderful dishes this way, and explore some new cultures. Your friends will start speaking of you as a really good cook, or even a gourmet chef :)
  
• Get a vitamin d test, and supplement accordingly. Vitamin d is necessary to build muscle, some recent studies show that an inadequate intake can lead not only to depression, but to higher bodyfat.
  
  My current favorite resources:
  
  
• stumptous. This woman got me into serious lifting. Browse around her site, see and hear real women that lift and love it.
  
• The Female Body Breakthrough. It's a book, I got it from the library and ended up buying it. Recommended by the previous source. This has the simplest to follow diet I've ever seen. I have been following it since mid November, and have been extremely happy with the results. I've lost fat, feel great, and am very rarely hungry. I've actually stopped craving carbs 90% of the time, and I used to be like you in that regard. This book can let you take control of your body like you've never believed possible if you take it seriously.
  
  I used to think that I had no control over my weight due to pcos. I tried lots of different things to take the weight off, nothing worked until I started walking daily and eating less processed food. I plateaued, then started lifting, which has given me a very nice tone. I still have some fat to lose, but the diet has helped quite a bit with that. You can take control, you just have to want it bad enough.

I'm sorry for some of the responses you've received on this thread.

I think it shows insight into yourself and that you have compassion for your partner that you're interested in your own mental health. Keep up the good work!

u/LadyWithCats' advice is top notch. Sliding scale therapists can be found. I sincerely recommend asking your parents for help, much like LadyWithCats advice. Sometimes our parents don't do all we'd like to support us, though, and you'll have to pursue some things on your own. In either case, I suggest a fair amount of reading.

I recommend acquiring a workbook so that you can practice some mental health skills. Much like seeing a physical trainer, it doesn't matter what shape you're in when you show up and start such a workbook, you're going to walk out in better shape when you're done. Emotional growth doesn't stop once you reach 18—it never really stops. Workbooks require patience in the face of what doesn't look like much progress at first. They can be frustrating—just like a physical trainer. Stick with it. :)

It's always good to see the strengths of what you possess as well as the weaknesses. One strength of people with borderline traits is they are more expressive of their emotions than the average person. They are often in tune with how they are feeling from moment to moment, which is something that can elude others. This makes it easier for other people to attune to them and connect with them.

I am sorry you experienced that, sometimes people are just cruel. Hopefully they'll grow up a bit and realize having hair on your upper lip pretty much means nothing other than you're a mammal. I have a mustache too, and with my dark hair and light skin it can be pretty visible.

I have tried to wax it a few times but broke out horribly each time. My skin is pretty sensitive. At this point I think I am going to get a facial trimmer...I have been looking at this one as it has pretty good reviews and is on sale for $9.99. I wish I had a better answer, but you're definitely not alone...don't be down on yourself about having perfectly normal hair, but I hope you find a solution that helps you feel better.

If you do run into them again I would do your best to not look phased even if you are, don't feed the trolls as they say. The things they are saying speak volumes about them and very little about you.

Honestly I had this same problem a few weeks ago, and did all of these things but none worked for me. I strongly recommend Color Oops, which is gentle on your hair and pretty much a lifesaver. It works best when a) used soon after hair dying (as in, not six months later) and b) going back to lighter color.

Good luck!

Maybe check out The Five Languages of Love. It's a great book that helps couples understand affection and how to keep each other happy. Even if he won't read it, it should give you some good tools for how to have healthy conversations about this with him. I really love the book, and it's helped me understand what I need in relationships a lot better and how to communicate that (geez, I sound like a commercial, but for real, I love the book). Good luck!

I'd like to recommend the book The 5 Love Languages. I'm guessing you and your fiance may just have different ways of giving and receiving love and affection. I also recommend crate training your dog or if possible getting him a fenced-in outdoor area where he can blow off steam. Good luck!

There's a lot to it. If you're looking for something straight forward by actual researchers but written for a lay audience try Attached. It's super helpful and full of exercises to figure out your attachment style and that of partners. And also to work on better communication. https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Science-Adult-Attachment-YouFind/dp/1585429139

It's not one thing that someone does that determines whether you're avoidant, secure or anxious, you have to look at their behavior as a whole. But some of the things avoidantly attached people do are:

-talk about how great their ex was

-allow little things to build up and then explode

-make disparaging comments about their partners

-have difficulty with resolving conflicts - because resolving a conflict generally creates greater intimacy

-walk away during a conflict - my partner actually ran for the bus while we were discussing whether to have a sleepover on my birthday. It was so absurd all I could do was laugh. -_-

-dwell on negative aspects of a person - finding fault about something that's not actually important like how loud they chew, etc. is a way of maintaining distance

-talk about doing things like planned trips, or other long term signs of commitment but then those things will never actually happen

-say they're not ready for commitment while being in a relationship for years

Their independence is the most important thing to them so they don't want to depend on anyone or have anyone depend on them. so they start to get close to someone and then pull away.

Basically they need a lot of space because they're not comfortable with intimacy. It freaks them out. But often they're not aware that this is their attachment style and that can be a much bigger issue than just that they're avoidantly attached. Even then, it can be hard if their partner wants a lot of intimacy.

It is scary! But this does not prove you are pregnant. Without a test, you are getting worked up and worrying yourself over potentially nothing. The mind if very powerful.

Those symptoms are also associated with other things as well as pregnancy. You always have a linea nigra. And usually it does not get darker until around the 23rd week of pregnancy. Your hormones are unlikely high enough for that to happen now.

Take it one step at a time.

Take a test asap. You can get a test at the dollar store. Amazon has them on prime. You might be able to get them same day.

Then, once you know the real answer, you can make a plan. Come back here and post and people can help from there. Planned Parenthood is a great resource if you don't have a lot of money. Your insurance might cover some of it, but PP can help you with that.

If you have to sell some things and borrow some money. A baby is way more expensive than an abortion. If you are pregnant, you will have to do what it takes to find a solution for yourself.

Be easy on yourself. Many of us have been there, and you will be ok. You are in my thoughts.

And not that you asked, but you might want to consider an IUD. It's a more reliable option than other forms of birth control. It might give you some peace of mind.

You madame, are genius! I'm getting an IUD later this month, but have been period-less on Depo for YEARS. Just ordered a pack to help ease my mind when I question if I'm experiencing side effects from my birth control or if they're actually symptoms... Bless you ❤
Similar version (US): Https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VT30C8/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_7eGIzb8Z7KG1Z

I think you've gotten some good advice here. I just wanted to throw out two books that have been really helpful to my husband and I and are not touchy-feely, the-husband-is-always-wrong, maybe-you-need-the-jesus texts.

The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work If you would like, I have an extra copy of this and could send it to you for free.

For Better: The Science of a Good Marriage

I've been using natural and organic deodorants for about a decade. I've pretty much tried them all (or close to it). Hands down the best natural deodorant I have ever used (and still use every day) is by ORGANIC 101. They are USDA certified Organic (so you can actually trust the ingredients), they use zero baking soda (so no rashes), no aluminum (or "alum" which is used to to fool customers), it wont stain clothing, and works all day for me, unless its over 100 degrees or I work out at the gym (to be expected though). I cannot recommend it enough. All their scents are legit but lately Ive been using the Lemon Haze and I love it.

.

If interested maybe check it out. They also offer a 30 day money back guarantee

https://www.amazon.com/ORGANIC-101-Certified-Extra-Strength-Deodorant/dp/B01N0ZYGXP/ref=sr_1_40_s_it?s=beauty&ie=UTF8&qid=1495663797&sr=1-40&keywords=natural+deodorant

Hey, I felt the same way up until very recently, and I finally sat down and tried to figure out why exactly I was so bent on retaining this title of "virgin" and I realised I didn't have a good reason. This might be the case for you, or maybe not, but if you want to have sex, you don't need to let it hold you back. On the other hand, as the other wonderful ladies here have said, don't feel like you must have sex asap.

I started reading The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti right after I lost my virginity and it opened my eyes to a lot of things about how our society covets virginity and helped me realize that it's okay to not be "pure." It might help you. :)

Bi-Polar Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder? If it is Borderline, please read books SPECIFIC on this, not for Bi-Polar as there are notable differences in how to handle the illness.
https://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1502724289&sr=1-1&keywords=borderline+personality+disorder

Did her doctor diagnose her? Is she accepting of her mental illness and is she aware and able to work on it? How long have you been married? How old are the kids?

My husband's ex-wife was loosely diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder). Every time a doctor got enough insight and started to see her lies and manipulation of the story, she'd find a new doctor that would tell her what she wanted to hear, so she never got officially diagnosed. Her BPD causes things to be very black and white. You either agree with her (and she changes her views/opinions very frequently so you must keep up!!) or she cuts you out/off entirely. There is no agree to disagree, no civility or humanity in interactions.

You must get yourself and the kiddos some counseling. If she wants counseling, obviously get her some. But my guess is she has a few moments of clarity here and there, and sees what a monster she can be but for the most part, she villainizes everyone around her and she's convinced she's blameless.

You haven't provided a whole lot of information but if you'd like to add more detail, I'd be more than happy to listen or advise. I also think you should post this on r/Askmen because I have read a lot of stories on there that are similar to this.

Best of Luck with your situation!

Oooh, I see you found the Pickup Artist subreddit. -_-;; My take on this "philosophy"? The men subscribing to this sort of devaluement and objectification of women do not learn to have healthy relationships because they view women as conquests / trophies / just numbers (in terms of how many, and worth how much "she's a 6 out of a perfect 10" etc).

The attitudes and behaviors suggested in the article are not conducive to healthy relationship formation, but they unfortunately tend to appeal to many hetero-male "forever-alone" Redditors with promises of attracting a great quantity of women, rather than on improving the quality of current/future relationships and self.

What bothers me even more about the Pick Up Artist (PUA) community is that some advocate "strategies/techniques" that are not based on consensual relationship and sexual behavior, for example, making a woman feel guilty so she'll go on a second date, attempting sex with very drunk women, and even "Neuro-Linguistic Programming" phrases and hypnotic suggestions! This is unethical, immoral and non-consensual (aka fast track to date rape). It trains men (often the young and impressionable) to view women as the sellers and men as the buyers of sex as a commodity, and how to con women into and out of bed and unhealthy relationships. Pickup Artists do not care about women as people, they care about women as pussy.

After finding a male friend's copy of The Game on Amazon.com and wiki article in 2007, I researched the topic and the more I learned, the less I liked the sometimes-outright misogyny. I have completely avoided that male friend since he tried PUA techniques on me and I could tell he lost all respect for me as a person.

If there isn't already a subreddit out there dedicated to helping men who want to pursue healthy relationships with women, and perhaps combine that with a PUA-Anonymous type recovery group], perhaps we could create one.

I think the fundamental problem with the attitude in OP's linked article is the absolute lack of respect for women as human beings, and also that it teaches men that their entire self-worth is determined by how many women he has had sex with, nothing else. This is not healthy for anyone involved. If both people are really just seeking a no strings attached consensual (read: not drunk or high or coerced or NLP'd or lied-to etc) adult sexual / romantic relationship, then by all means go ahead. But for men who are looking for more than a short-term, primarily-sexual fling, PUA-type thinking is especially damaging, and the PUA community is hostile to them as well (the focus of OP's article). I think that the PUA community doesn't respect women, but it also does not respect men as anything more than the number of notches on their headboard.

• Seduction Community wiki
  
• The Seduction Community on Reddit
  
• The "best game" story on /r/seduction that made me nearly throw up in my keyboard:
  
• ^ He's referring to THIS Tyler Durden, not the one from Fight Club he named himself after.
  
• You'll probably want to read through their primer guides and FAQs in order to understand the profusion of abbreviations and jargon used in the above tale.
  
  (Edit: grrr formatting)
  

There is an AWESOME color remover called "Color Oops", you can buy it at places like Walgreens and such. Here's info from Amazon. You HAVE to follow the directions precisely for it to work. I was able to strip off semi-permanent (or permanent, can't remember now) black dye and get back to something semi-normal that I could then re-dye with something lighter.

It was the best thing ever. Totally saved me a trip to the salon!

This sounds more like borderline personality disorder or severe bipolar disorder, though I'm not a mental health professional. There's a great book called Stop Walking on Eggshells that might be worth checking out. That link is to a blog that talks about the book, but it's also available on Amazon.

Even if you can't get help for your mom, you can get help for yourself in dealing with her. If it's an option, I'd highly recommend seeking out therapy to help you learn to cope with your interactions with her. Is moving out and living with another family member like a grandparent or aunt/uncle an option?

Easy fix/Medical fix: Use a hormonal birth control method to control or eliminate your periods. I use lo loestrin fe continuously. I used to use errin (the mini pill). I haven't had a period in two years and I love it.

Hard fix/Behavioral fix: Dialectical Behavior Therapy is series of exercises and practices designed to help people control their emotions. It used for people with PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder, PMDD (premenstrual dsymorphic disorder), and anyone with strong emotions that they need help controlling. You can sign of for a group class, do one on one therapy, or even learn by yourself from a workbook. It won't make your emotions go away or solve the underlying problem, but it will give you better tools to deal with it.

I think you need to talk to a doctor and see if there is a medical fix first. This is affecting your functioning at work and socially, so it's important to get help.

> I enjoy giving blow jobs even if I'm not sexually aroused

The problem here seems to be that you're seeing the problem through your lens, not his. In other words, you're comparing his response to what YOU would do, not why he's refusing to do it.

You might find a lot of value in this book: http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797

I found it amazingly insightful, especially in helping communicate together. It contains exercises that you can do together, so it's a together-book, not something you read in isolation. Good luck, hopefully you guys can work together to find a solution that works for both of you, whatever that is.

There are a few pads I would suggest for your sister. One package for every day use such as Always with wings and an overnight pad , which helps when we sleep. The directions are on inserts in the packages and she'll be just fine :) If she's cramping I advise advil or motrin over tylenol. You're doing great, big brother!

You may want to look into getting a quality epilator. Here's the one I use. I LOVE IT for my legs. It does smart the first few times, but after that it doesn't hurt and the hair comes in less frequently.

It's pricey, but definitely worth it.

Sure. I got Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder and Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds and Build Trust, Boundaries, and Self-Esteem. Both books reference each other and tie together well, although they're by different authors.

I'm so sorry. I'll let other people give you advice on the surgery issues -- and I'll read it quite closely, as I'm getting a major surgery soon, too. My surgery is related to uterine ridiculousness, so, on that note, I can spreak to your question about pads with maximum coverage. The absolute best amazing why-did-I-only-just-find-out-about-these pads I've found are these: http://www.amazon.com/Always-Extra-Heavy-Overnight-Flexi-Wings/dp/B002KAL6NI

(I used to love and adore the super thin ones, but I can't use 'em anymore.)

I have super sensitive skin and can't wax or use depilatory creams, and I use one of those little electric trimmers (like this one but it's an off brand bought very cheap) every so often.

I think you would be amazed at how many women deal with facial hair. Take a good look around at the women you see during an average day. Normally, you're not looking at them for facial hair, but I bet if you focus on it, you'll see it and realize that most of them just don't care.

I think it's easy to be critical of this person, and it's fair criticism too. That said he's probably suffering as well, his fragile ego probably comes from a place of fear and insecurity. Most people want to feel secure and no one wants to live in fear.

What you should do is totally up to you, how much do you care about this person? Do you think they can take advice? Do you think he might want to change the way he interacts with partners?

This book called "attached" might be helpful if you do want to try to help.

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help YouFind - and Keep - Love https://www.amazon.com/dp/1585429139/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_NJ7CzbR70MP8Q

Right, I have a bit of a terrible memory so here are some... not all of them have a woman as the main but generally more than just 'supporting' or 'girlfriend' roles :)

Darwin's Radio by Greg Bear. This is part of a series and I'm pretty sure this is the first in that series with Darwin's Children the next one.

The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson.

Ender's Game.

Mainly my favourite authors are Greg Bear, Greg Egan, Neal Stephenson, Stephen Baxter, Philip K Dick - the usual crowd. Do you have any recommendations?

I have been using this:

http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B006NXRD44/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1367453531&sr=8-2&pi=SL75

It's fantastic!

I love the towel tips

I'm not going to touch your MRA question with a ten foot barge pole but I can help you with PTSD. I found it really helpful (in a revelatory way) to read [The Body Keeps The Score] (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748) by Bessel Van Der Kolk, and to use CBT and mindfulness to supplement my [EMDR] (http://emdrassociation.org.uk/whatis-emdr/) work with my therapist.

Neal Stephenson's The Diamond Age: Or, a Young Lady's Illustrated Primer. It actually has two main characters, only one of which is female, but she's awesome!

Alright, here's the deal.

If you want quiet and not-embarrassing, you cannot beat the Wahl Coil. It's nearly dead silent (I mean so silent that if you turned it on and stop across the room from it, only a person with good hearing would even pick up the faint humming noise it makes). Furthermore, it's non-phallic and lots of people use it for actual muscles massage, so if you're worried about your toy stash being discovered it's significantly more tame looking than a realistic penis vibrator.

The Wahl Coil is like $20-25 and you can buy it anywhere (Amazon, your local Bed Bath and Beyond or other department store type place that would have back massagers, Wal-Mart, etc.)

If you're looking for a phallic vibrator, however, I can't recommend the LELO line of vibrators enough. They're not cheap (most of them are around $75+), but they're incredibly well built and you'll get more enjoyment out of one of them than you would a chest of cheaper toys.

This reminds me of my favorite book when I was growing up, The Paper Bag Princess . Yay for empowering young girls!

Hitachi Magic Wand for deep thrum

Or the Wahl "Massager" if you need something a bit more quiet

I have both and like each very much. This is my second wand, the first having finally given up the ghost after five wonderful years together. :)

I think she's talking about this one

EDIT: Just read reviews, yeah that's the right one.
EDIT2: Wow, downvoted for helping.

I have an IUD (Mirena) and also double up by using condoms. And I still get nervous about the whole thing even living in California and not... oh idk.. Alabama

But that's about as good as you're gonna get it. What you can do to help you feel better, is use pregnancy tests once in a while. You can even buy the strips in bulk off of Amazon

This is the epilator I have: http://www.amazon.com/Emjoi-AP-18-Emagine-Opposed-Epilator/dp/B001GS6OB4/

The two sides spin in opposite directions, so the direction I'm pulling it in doesn't matter as much. Sometimes I go up, sometimes down. Mine didn't come with a sensitive area cap and it's huuuge haha - so if I hold it in the correct direction of the hair growth I can't get it into the bikini line area. The only trick I've run into is that the hair in the top center of my mons grows evrry which way, so I turn the epiliator in a circle to get
everything.

To add to this, there's a wonderful book about attachment:

Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find and Keep Love by Amir Levine et al.

ISBN-10: 1585429139

ISBN-13: 978-1585429134

Paperback

Kindle

I'm sorry that happened to you. You deserved better in your life. I wanted to mention this. I hope it helps.

​

https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1539353941&sr=8-1&keywords=the+body+keeps+the+score

This sounds like an irrational level of anxiety for this (and there's nothing wrong with that, we all have our irrational fears that we can't do anything to stop). Would it maybe help if you tested regularly? I've seen that as a trick for people who have similar anxieties, they buy the cheap test strips in bulk (like these: https://www.amazon.com/ClinicalGuard®-Pregnancy-Test-Strips-Individually-Sealed/dp/B007VT30C8) and test monthly or even weekly. Although that tends to be more useful in places where abortion is a more viable option. It would still help regularly confirm that you're not pregnant, and between the pills and condoms, you're beyond relatively safe.

The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti- I highly suggest reading it. I think it breaks down what you're saying into manageable bites and organizes concepts pretty well.
http://www.amazon.com/Purity-Myth-Americas-Obsession-Virginity/dp/1580052533

You can also buy multi packs of tests from Amazon for cheap. Always useful for the paranoia. The exact same dollar store tests are like 89c at walmart.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B007VT2OQG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_2ZURzbJTGRD89

That sounds like it might be the Sqweel? Judging by some reviews, it's not really all that good. If you want to try it, I would suggest getting it from a place with a satisfaction guarantee or something similar.

I honestly think the concept is not that well executed. The appeal of oral sex comes from the texture and the variety of movements for me, so I think that it would get boring a bit too fast for my taste. It's very hard to simulate oral sex overall :/

Side note: if you are perhaps looking for clitoral stimulation, I know a lot of people suggest the hitachi, but I find that can be a little bit bulky and intense, so I much prefer the wahl.

For dealing with nighttime leaks, I have found a foolproof leak-proof method. These pads + biker/volleyball/spandex shorts. And I have a waterproof allergy protective cover thing on my mattress. Never leaked at night again.

For daytime, I wear these pads plus black pants that have stretch to them. I also make sure to take ibuprofen throughout the day to help with not only the cramps but I seem to get less clots on days I take it around the clock.

Also, frequent bathroom trips.

Gottman is highly referenced within relationship counselling stuff, and focuses on principles of positive relations, with no gender roles or religion. I don't know anything about this particular book, or others, but could be worth a starting look.

You would love this book: The Purity Myth. I haven't gotten very much time to read it, unfortunately, but it's about exactly what you're talking out - how protecting young girls' virginity and purity and even abstinence-only education hurts everyone by emphasizing sexuality and de-emphasizing personal worth. If you're only good because you haven't had sex, what happens after you do? What happens if you never do?

> because she rarely said I love you in my language.

Five love languages book.

Yeah, I have this epilator. I rarely get ingrowns from it on my legs or underarms. I get far fewer from epilating than from shaving. I don't have much hair on my legs or my underarms though, so that might be part of it. I don't use it on my nether region though because it really irritates the follicles. But, so does saving. So, I just trim down there (luckily my partners are happy with that).

Have you tried going to therapy? If you can't afford it, consider checking out this book or another like it.

Yup, have shaved my facial hair before as well! In fact, I did so earlier today to record a presentation for school, hah.

I have PCOS and grow hair in some frustrating places, but this product has been a lifesaver. I don't have any issue with bumps which I generally get from shaving (or using conditioner to shave, ugh, even with oil as the bottom layer). And you can get a rather close shave considering that it is a trimmer - I have a tiny bit of friction at the end of where my mustache would be and nada under my chin where I get my coarsest hairs. It also has another razor head specifically for eyebrows!

Er, actually, they are cheap if you get them in bulk. (50-pack, 60.)

And yes, there's very little difference; they're FDA-regulated. The main thing is that some are a little bit more sensitive, which can give you a few more days warning, but also more false alarms.

You can also get combo packs of ovulation and pregnancy detection, but some people think that takes some of the fun out of it.

I totally get it. I’m in Texas and it’s not super easy here either (but not NEARLY as restrictive as these morons are trying to make it now). There’s a ridiculously slim chance I’ll get pregnant again, but I still take a test every 3ish weeks, just in case. Especially because I skip my sugar pills to avoid having a period.
try these. 25 for under $10 I used them when actually TRYING to conceive and got a positive at like 9 days post ovulation, 4 days before I even missed a period. They’re what most doctors offices use.

You can buy a product called color oops to remove the dye. Most drugstores sell it.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0012JY4G4/ref=redir_mdp_mobile/180-7381760-6285053

This book has helped me a lot with understanding these same issues in my own relationships.

The Purity Myth by Jessica Valenti

You should get her The Paper Bag Princess.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/0802473156

Second this! Used for $4.

Also was he literally yelling at you? Like raising his voice? I know some times people say yelling when they mean the person was just being a jerk.

But either way that's abusive.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1572246901/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1504389244&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&keywords=stop+walking+on+eggshells&dpPl=1&dpID=419gffQNpnL&ref=plSrch