(Part 2) Best products from r/adultsurvivors

1. Medications, but only if really needed to get one stabilized enough to do the next six things on this list: Find a board certified psychopharmacologist in your area by using the clinician locator on the Psychology Today website. Getting psych meds from a GP or primary care doc can be useless or even risky. Psych diagnoses, meds and med interactions are just too complex now for most GPs and primary care docs.
   
   
2. Support Groups: AA, MA and/or NA if one is using intoxicants to try to cope with emotional pain; ACA, EA, SIA and CoDA... where you will find others in similar boats who have found explanations, answers and solutions.
   
   
3. Books and academic, professional websites including Mayo Clinic, WebMD, NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health), NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness), and even Wikipedia (when everything asserted is solidly documented with citations). Accurate information is power.
   
   
4. Psychotherapy: I currently use Ogden's SP4T as the interoceptive 9th of the 10 StEPs of Emotion Processing, but had good results over the years with several of the CBTs including REBT, collegiate critical thinking, schema therapy, and CPT, as well as DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT, MBSR, EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, and NARM.
   
   DBT, MBCT, ACT, MBBT and MBSR are terrific for symptom management. EMDR, HBCT, SEPt, SP4T and NARM are first-rate for memory-reprocessing, sense-making and detachment from the conditioning, programming, etc.
   
   To find the clinicians who know how to use these psychotherapies, look here, and here, and here, and (for DBT specialists in particular) here. If you dig a little on each page, you will be able to see which therapies they use. Most MD / psychiatrists, btw, are not therapists themselves (they are medication specialists), but can refer you to those who are, and are often -- though not always -- excellent sources of referral.
   
   
5. Mindfulness Meditation: Try the Vipassana-style? (For a lot of people with anxiety, this stuff handles anxiety chop chop. Not sure about depression. Many of the modern psychotherapies for anxiety are actually based on it now.)
   
   
6. Therapy Workbooks: I got a lot of lift-off by using inexpensive workbooks like these, and these, and these, and these. And because RAGE (towards unsupportive parents, as well as the "identified abusers") is both understandable and likely, DBT, MBBT, and ACT all provide inexpensive workbooks for anger management. See this, and this, and this, all of which I have used and can recommend.
   
   
7. Moderate exercise: Because it is the single healthiest of the distractions one can use to yank oneself out of the paradigm for a while... and it can help to "massage" the brain so that it responds more quickly to psychotherapy.

I've got to admit that I'm satisfied with hearing about their misery after victimizing someone they are supposed to care for and protect. You are absolutely right, you may not be able to choose your blood but you can always choose your family. It's going to take time and dedication to the process of healing. Sometimes you'll have to sacrifice other priorities because your health and recovery are worth it, because you are. :)

I know with being in school that you might be sick of reading but there is a very good book for trauma survivors called Healing from trauma. It came recommended from my group trauma therapist, something that all of us read within the group (at our own pace). It might help validate some of your feelings/emotions, and assist you in the recovery process. Priority #1 is to get into therapy, which you've already made a crucial first step towards.

http://www.amazon.com/Healing-Trauma-Survivors-Understanding-Reclaiming/dp/1600940617

I think you CAN detect them, at least sometimes. I do. There are certain characteristics that my "spidey senses" pick up on that I feel in my gut.

I'd suggest the book [The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence](http:// https://www.amazon.com/dp/0440226198/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_eiY3Db87WATP1)

I recommend this book

I think this is it. I'm going back to the library on Monday and I'm gonna recheck who it's by.

For men, specifically, I'd recommend:

Victims No Longer: The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse by Mike Lew

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Abused Boys: The Neglected Victims of Sexual Abuse by Mic Hunter

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Don't Tell: The Sexual Abuse of Boys by Michel Dorais

Your family sexually abused you. She violated your body, your boundaries. She ignored your protests. She gaslighted you. She mocked you. As an adult, she failed to protect you. This is not okay, not then, not now, not ever. That is sexual abuse, and it was wrong of her to do. I am very sorry you had to go through this. I am angry for you.

Went through a similar experience with my family, and you’re not alone. Feeling like you’re gross, dirty, nauseated, silenced... it’s sadly all too common with sexual abuse survivors. I’m sorry. I went through EMDR & therapy to work through my trauma which has helped a lot, so I’d def suggest that. Also try to get your hands on this book and this book . <3