Best products from r/askMRP

Lifting will give you some test boost, but will not make a miracle. Your test is pretty low for your age, maybe you should consider TRT. If you go the TRT route, get the BEST doctor you can get, if you screw with your hormones, depending on what you do, theres no going back. And research a lot before doing it. Read books, good articles. Clomid is a nice help for now.

Some things other than TRT to check:

• Check your vitamin D levels. Make sure its way above 30 ng/ml. If you supplement with vitamin D3, make sure you also take vitamin K2 (research about this).
  
  
• Eat brazil nuts, red meat. Whole eggs. Brocolli is high on a compound that lowers estrogen naturally, eat a fuckton of it. Eat only real food, something like paleo style is good. Make sure you are getting enough healthy fats, you need it for hormones. This will also help with fat loss. Also check on intermittent fasting, theres research showing it increases growth hormones and lots of other benefits.
  
  https://www.amazon.com.br/Complete-Guide-Fasting-Intermittent-Alternate-Day/dp/1628600012
  
  
• Make sure you are not overdoing volume at the gym. Lifting HARD for 1h30 is too much unless you are on the juice.
  
  
• Make sure you have enough zinc. Consider taking ZMA before bed or take a good multivitamin.
  
  
• Sleep well, reduce stress, make sure your cortisol levels are low. Look into meditation.
  
  http://www.artofmanliness.com/2013/01/18/how-to-increase-testosterone-naturally/
  
  https://www.t-nation.com/pharma/complete-guide-to-t-replacement?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=article4341
  

Okay. Welcome.

It looks, to me, like you have become aware that the Disney princess ideal marragie - the happily ever after with no work - is a lie.

Good.

It also looks like you have discovered the right place.

Good.

And that you have not read it all, nor do you understand all the principles, but you are READING and LIFTING.

Good.

Keep reading, keep lifting.

Right now, learn the basics. Simple stuff like acta, non verbal. Three examples:

1) ACTA, NON VERBA

"I told my wife that I am not suffering through her bullshit for another 5 years expecting everything to be OK ... I detached successfully and told her I wanted out of the marriage ... I only speak to her about my children and nothing else."

---> Right now she sees you as a low-value man. Expect every ultimatum to be responded to with her genuinely believing it is a get out of jail card.

Now realize that she is your sparring partner, not your soulmate. Why TELL her you plan to leave? Dude, she can plan to build a narrative against you. She can now see a lawyer first. She can drive the bus.

I would STFU about all relationship stuff with her, good and especially bad. Hopefully she assumes your idle threat was an idle threat. Then GET BUSY. Work on yourself. Get yourself back in good physical shape. Work on your diet. Become the kind of person people want to be around. Enjoy the kids. If and when you decide to punch out, DO IT. Don't threaten or do some passive-agressive "I'm not talking to you" game. Which leads me to #2.

2) MRP MEN ARE FUN

"I detached successfully and told her I wanted out of the marriage ... I only speak to her about my children and nothing else."

Dude, MRP men are fun. We have awesome lives. We get stuff done. People want to be around us. We project strong, positive energy, so much that distance is a form of punishment.

Not at first. Most have an anger stage. That's what STFU is for. Change the subject, don't be butthurt, talk about something else.

My point: Don't distance your wife and punish you. You are not valuable enough yet (in her eyes, or, given your alcoholism, probably in yours) for that to be a punishment. Instead, be fun and positive. If you do divorce in 12 months, she'll feel like she is losing something. That won't happen if you are strategically tactically no fun guy.

I'm not saying pursue her. I'm saying when you're in the room, you're fun. If you have to fake it, fake it.

I REALLY struggle with this right now. I grok it intellectually, and yet being in the same room with ConstantlyAngryPerson (TM) (C) (R) it's hard to stay positive and fun.

3) Stay Married for a bit while you figure stuff out

Don't rush to file papers. Work on yourself. Get out of her frame. Work on yourself. Build your own life.

Next Steps for you

The next step is probably to understand these things above as problems and mistakes, intellectually. Over time, the time it dawns on you that you did a BluePillMisDeed will shrink. Eventually, you'll recognize it while you are making the decision, in time to make the RedPill Decision. Hopefully, the RedPill option will become habit.

I hope that helps.

Welcome, man. AskMRP is the right place for now, I think. Continue to post here and if you want to be challenged the next step up (which is really just make plans and keep them) consider the OYS thread on /r/marriedredpill

Oh, also, consider Married Men's Sex Life Primer by BluePillProf.

https://www.amazon.com/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK/

$5.00 on kindle.

Tricky question! "Self improvement" is important, but it's not as big a thing in the female spaces of the pill-o-sphere. Most of the books we discuss in RPW are more to do with relationship skills, and possibly fall outside of 'self improvement' per se. By their nature, they're more suited to women who are already open to the ideas of male/female nature, complementary relationships, etc. It depends what you think your wife is open to.

"Surrendered Wife" is probably the best bet, IF you don't think the title/cover will turn her off AND the Christian basis isn't going to be problematic. Make sure you get the actual book, not the one that's a series of stories of women putting the principles into action.

Outside of TRP, a book I've found super valuable that's more about self-improvement for women who aren't necessarily focused on it is "The Happiness Project" by Gretchen Rubin. Specifically because I think a lot of the problems in relationships comes from women not caring for themselves properly. Combine it with a beautiful planner/journal and pen (Kikki K is my favourite brand) and you have a gift that is very "I love you and want you to be happy" but also "here are tips to make your/our life better."

Hope this helps!

Oh I typed all this for you my dude but these dastardly bullies caused you to delete it.

​

Hope it benefits you or another ENTP stoner:

​

What caught my eye was the Myers-Briggs test: I also (usually) test ENTP. Just wanted to say I think the Reddit subs seem to do it a serious disservice:

​

A) It is a management tool. It is not meant to enable some rando's life as a lovable eccentric. You should be shoring up the weaknesses it shows, not jerking off to how creative you think you are (not that you can stop yourself amirite? Ha!), and

B) It is not a tarot card reading of your soul. I get profiled regularly, by professionals, using whatever method is in vogue at that moment and while I absolutely see the value in the tests, it is limited, it is contextual and it will vary over time.

​

It is not so much "revealing" your personality as a prediction of how your behavior will manifest in a given context. MB being particularly general. For example, all my ENTP result tells me is that RIGHT NOW, I likely have too many projects going on and/or am managing my time poorly.

​

So based on your results, I would recommend you get out of your comfort zone and focus on active productivity exercises. Far from being something unsuited to you: they are likely just what you need. Anytime I dial this in tight, my life has a night and day improvement.

​

7 Habits is the granddaddy of course.



Unchained Man has a great time management system. Actually he refers back to Covey's 7 habits and explains why and how he updated the principle for a digital era. The rest isn't "bad" but its pretty standard 4HWW/TRP/Digital nomad type stuff. You could literally read Chapters 8-11 and get a great deal of benefit.

​

4HWW fuck I hate this book. And it's probably dangerous for lazy fucks. But Ferriss has nuggets of good advice on productivity and time management.

​

More conceptual reading:

Do the Work;

The War of Art;

The Power of Habit;

Rework;

On Form - some tips, although heavily weighted to glorify salaryman life;

One Minute Manager;

Extreme Ownership has helped a lot of dudes here. Personally I despise wading through the military waffle for two or three pages of content but the message of owning every aspect of your life and not accepting low standards from yourself or others is good (Hint: that means after you quit weed, (after a reasonable interval) you can and should expect your lazy wife to too).

​

Corporations have invested a great deal of time and money in training me but honestly most of the valuable things I implement are on that list.

​

Atomic Habits is on my current reading list. Check out this post (and comments) with some concepts from it.

• sexual chemistry - Fleeting honeymoon phase
  
• loyalty - Male quality, read women in love
  
• trust - You must be new here, a ring offers no trust, and you better have it before marrying
  
• family dynamics - not sure what this means
  
• financial dynamics - costs are dynamic, yes.
  
• parenting strategies - lead your fucking house
  
• religious affiliations - Church seems to loved divorced chicks, see Manosphere for more insight
  
  You're new here, read, lurk, then post

The other posters here seem to have decided that you're the problem here. Maybe you are. ? You have to judge that.

However, I really recommend this book. It's referenced in the sidebar, but hidden a little. Personally, I consider it to be the virtual bible of this sub:

https://www.amazon.com/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8

That book describes an entire process you can use to improve yourself and finally put your relationship on the right track. If you cannot fix it, it recommends a process you can follow all the way through ending the relationship if needed.

In short, you are the leader in this relationship, whether you know it or not. And women absolutely do follow the lead of the man most times. You need to focus fixing you and your behavior though before you can expect changes from her. Once you've made those fixes, use the process in the book to help her take things to the next level.

Even if you do end things with her, I still recommend following the MAP process in the book. It absolutely will leave you in a better place than you seem to be now.

>Her last LTR was very controlling, so she always tries to gauge whether I'll try to control her

That is a lie told to men who see disrespectful behavior and instead of bailing, they try to make her stop. You can't control her, you can only control yourself. This was not a shit test. Shit test is also known as compliance/fitness test from book Married Man Sex Life Primer. This was blatant disrespect and if you're not married you should demote her to a plate, ie start dating other women. If you live together, start looking for a place.

You think this is overreaction on my part? You need to look at what she does, NOT what she says.

1. She prefers to read romance books than to have sex with you. They usually have an asshole that the protagonist falls for.
   
   
2. She has for a while not fucked you so that you spend time online trying to find a way to fix it.
   
   
3. She is openly flirting/texting with other man while spending time with you...and blatantly tells you that she is planning on spending time with that man on a work trip that they will be taking next week. That by the way is called Please Break Up with Me!
   
   You are obviously new and did not read the books listed in Married Red Pill sidebar. I know you hate reading books, you were whining about it in your post history. At least read The Best of Rational Male - Year One. No more mr nice guy is also very short. You could read that in less than a day and that's a real eye opener.
   
   I agree with some newbies who are whining here about others calling them faggots, etc. It wasn't like that back in the day and it makes it harder for men to actually get the message but mods condone it so it goes. The sidebar though is not calling you a fag and it was created with the idea of helping men. It certainly has helped me in my marriage as it has helped many others. If you're going to ignore the many useful replies, at least do not ignore the sidebar.

Some others here have recommended the chapters on code, mission and goal development from the Unchained Man book https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HCZ97F5/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

​

I read through it last night and it's pretty good and might be just what you need to get focused on something. The time management stuff is good too, basically a GTD David Allen "lite" approach. Being the MRP forum you will have to get past his preaching of polyamory, though he raises some thought provoking ideas. Maybe in a year I'll be more open to having a harem.

Your Two Good Choices: Oak, or Rock by /u/man_in_the_world


Also /u/bluepillprofessor's excellent book Saving A Low Sex Marriage will give you some great insight as well.

So are you attractive enough to follow you or her friends ?

Tip- the sidebar would tell you to stop competing and let her choose

Excellent book

this won't hurt you either


Concentrate on 'Womanese"

Just FYI, my wife was cut off of all contact for living with me before marriage, guess what ? I was and still am the prize

> No major debts except a mortgage, but I'm a complete newb with money.

You're doing fine, keep it up!

This is a great starter: https://www.amazon.com/Dave-Ramseys-Complete-Guide-Money/dp/1937077209

Most people borrow too much and use credit cards they can't pay off the same month and get buried. Just don't do that and you're 15 years ahead of most people.

For insurance and investments, there are SO MANY to pick from it's dumb to take advice from people who don't know your goals, background, history, etc.

I'd start here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/9ex1v7/lift_faggot_lift/

Then all this

https://www.amazon.ca/Manosphere-New-Hope-Masculinity-ebook/dp/B00D74DQ8E

https://www.amazon.ca/Red-Queen-Evolution-Human-Nature-ebook/dp/B006O4227U/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1483461928&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=mat+ridley+red+queen

https://www.amazon.ca/Practical-Female-Psychology-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6

http://www.returnofkings.com/misc/The-Solomon-Group.pdf

If anyone can find where yareally ended up, would be appreciated

http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/antidumpsmachine.pdf

https://www.amazon.ca/Warriors-soldiers-soul-Terrence-Popp-ebook/dp/B009SQHZIM

https://www.amazon.com/Day-Bang-Casually-Girls-During/dp/1463765045/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_14_t_0?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=0Y5D0CFXP2QZ9NE47NG5

You should not go to a main event until you're ready. Focus on reading the sidebar, lifting, and MAPing. My wife used to ask me to do stuff like that all the time - recommended reading: "practical female psychology." That book discusses the phases of control in the betaization process, and one of the phases is basically having you at her beck and call with endless meaningless tasks.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B00RR6RNO6/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1481604097&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=practical+female+psychology&dpPl=1&dpID=31x3q3Nk8sL&ref=plSrch

She sounds what I call Low Self-Esteem "Good girl" archetype (in contrast with Low Self-Esteem "Bad girl" archetype), after having read the book Practical Female Psychology
http://www.amazon.com/Practical-Female-Psychology-For-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6

Have a look at these:
http://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfriends-the-book/fearful-avoidant/
http://jebkinnison.com/bad-boyfriends-the-book/type-anxious-preoccupied/

And browse through some of Sepean's submmited posts, you may want to start here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3ukgo4/the_real_mrp_and_you/

I pretty much replied the same way in this post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/40mpja/recurring_pattern_that_concerns_me/

so you may want to read that.

https://www.amazon.com/Practical-Female-Psychology-Man-ebook/dp/B00RR6RNO6

You can get it on kindle from the uk store.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Saving-Low-Sex-Marriage-Seduction-ebook/dp/B01BGZO1WK

Where are you in lifting goals? BF% etc?

>wanted to give her some comfort.

stop this shit right now. you are so far up her ass (frame) that you can see daylight. your entire victim puke reeks of no frame. your entire life revolves around making her happy.

STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW. YOU ARE THE PRIZE NOT HER.

Your top priority should be monk mode right now, reading and lifting. if you dont know what to say/do, STFU. spend time on the boards and read some of the shit that happens when you have no frame.

The sooner you realize and then actualize that YOU are the prize, the sooner she will and you can get back your balls.

NO EXCUSES. READ, LIFT, REPEAT.

Also, you should also pick up Bluepillprofessors 12 steps of dread. If you dont want to buy the in depth breakdown of the 12 steps.

here is a link for the lazy

you have a lot of work ahead of you and you are not even at the anger phase yet.