(Part 2) Best products from r/askMRP

No, it's not necessarily you. RP has a distinct group of people in it who have a distinct set of opinions. And if you look online, the women who are the most vocal about sex will be the most adventurous - having had sex with lots of men, threesomes, bdsm'ers etc. They are also the women that men are most likely to have casual sex/one-night sex with, which may skew men's view of what 'most women' like.

Some women do like rough or BDSM sex. But also many don't, or don't want or need that in order to gain the maximum satisfaction. Sex comes up in convos with my girlfriends quite often, after they've had a few drinks ;) They are very varied in what they like and don't like. Hard/fast/rough can make the pelvic area go numb, but some of my friends like it anyway because it means he's getting off or/and because it feels sexy/hot to them. And a bit of that for a change can be fun. But there's generally not enough sustained contact for orgasm. Most women can only orgasm via oral (during sex) because it's slower and uses sustained contact. If they orgasm via PIV, then generally it's slow and deliberate - he has a lot of control and knows what he's doing and what she likes.

Personally, if a guy slapped, choked, pulled hair etc during sex, then I'd find that super weird and ask him to stop. Out of my friends, one said she liked it, and we know her husband and he's a nice guy, so we assumed they're into BDSM-lite. A couple of my friends are into real BDSM. So it's very, very varied.

Basically, research says women vary a lot more than men in their sexual anatomy and accordingly in what they like: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1476762090/ref=rdr_ext_tmb

Slow can be good if it's done right: https://www.amazon.com/Slow-Sex-Craft-Female-Orgasm/dp/0446567183

Bottom line is, if you want vascularity and less fat covering your muscles, you've got to shed the fat. This is where I'm at myself right now. Keep your diet tight and lift heavy. It's hard to gain muscle and lose fat at the same time....I'd say don't worry so much about muscle size while you're dropping fat. As the fat comes off, you'll look bigger despite being smaller. Keep grinding, provided your current grind is progressing.

With regard to programs after you "graduate" from SS, Variations of 531 are what I do when I'm smart enough to stick with what works. It's a great non linear program to use once you're trained enough that strength gains have plateaued and aren't progressing at the same weekly rate as Starting Strength prescribes. Don't just look up a 5/3/1 template, though. Read the book. Hell, read all of the 5/3/1 books. Wendler is a great read, and his books pack in a shit load of great training wisdom.

The Boring but Big 5/3/1 variation is a good one - although right now I'm doing [531 for Hardgainers] (https://www.t-nation.com/training/5-3-1-for-hardgainers). It's similar to BBB in that it includes a good amount of volume. But I prefer the way the work sets here use sets of 5s rather than the typical 5/3/1 layout. For me, this strikes the perfect balance of work sets, heavy volume, and accessory work.

I'm with the others here wondering how the hell you are squatting 455 and DL 305, though. You should be able to damn near clean 305 if you've got a 455 lb squat. Are you doing actual barbell squats to parallel or below? Or is it leg press or quarter squats or something? If your squat is legit, that's awesome - and I'm happy for you. But what you are describing is about as disjointed as a guy who presses 225 and benches 225.

If it's true that grip is the limiting factor to your comparatively weak DL, I'd recommend doing your Deadlift heavy sets with straps (so you get the benefit of the heavy deadlifting). And then all other sets - say, anything at less than 80% - use a clean grip. Farmer's walk suggestion was also good. And get some fat gripz and mix them in on any accessory work you do.

1- she is not an HB 8 take of the goggles, pull her off the pedestal (cheating is not attractive)

2- Your frame is for shit (you are thinking you might be guilty of "imposing on trust and privacy" by verifying and you find out she is still receiving messages


You have 3 kids, one is an infant ? And, you honestly think she would feel violated if you confronted her ?

You may have read your whole list of books, but, let me explain a dose of reality, you have not made the content yours


"This most recent exchange ended with him saying “Love you”. My wife replied with “Thanks, Love you too”. "

"and my wife returned with an “I love you too”, which I know my wife would just say is a “friendly” thing, as she does say “love you” to lots of different friends and family members, but this did not sit well with me.

absolutely unacceptable. hard boundary crossed

Read

Read

Read chapter 27

What I would do, you wouldn't have the stomach or guts for, but then again, most men aren't me



last statement - I pray for your son and medical issues, I also pray for you to internalize the sidebar and draw some boundaries. Most importantly, for self respect. Good Luck

You are changing the course of your ship. So I'd say "Steady as she goes, Cap'n."

I have a 6 year old daughter. She and I differ on opinion on many things. She thinks that potato chips make a great healthy meal. I do not. We don't "fight" over this topic. I make dinner and we both eat it. She can voice her preferences for a bowl of sugar with a cherry on top, but we are having chicken with rice instead. My daughter respects me and accepts what I decide.

Fighting with my daughter, even if I win, hurts my position of respect. If a fight is inevitable and unavoidable, then I face it full on and I make damn sure I win, but I don't go seeking out the fight.

From your description it sounds like you are honestly on the path to a life of happiness. You're not there yet, since sex isn't plentiful yet, but you're moving in the right direction.

Recommended readings include:
http://www.amazon.com/The-Married-Life-Primer-2011/dp/1460981731
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-God-Method-2nd-Edition/dp/0557036488

It is great to hear you have made it through 5th week mark. It means the habit is probably a little bit ingrained into your life style. That is a huge victory.

Speaking of the injuries, try to minimaze them by having a good form. It is easy to say, hard to acchieve though. The strenght training is a long term activity, take your time ..

I have been lifiting for some time (still sticking with 5x5) and the form perfection is a neverending story. I bought [Starting strength] (https://www.amazon.com/Starting-Strength-Mark-Rippetoe-ebook/dp/B006XJR5ZA/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483370221&sr=1-1&keywords=starting+strength) book two days ago. It is a good book adressing the barb bell lifts (100+ pages about squat etc.) in order to get better technique. The book is very detailed and I tend to skip pages, it is a great source nevertheless.

There's a lot going on here. You have seven ten question marks in your post:

• What exactly should I want?
  
• I have read a lot about motivation and I think most people are motivated by social status. They are aiming to gain social rank. For me the problem is that social status only exists if you interact with people. That is, if they treat you inferior or superior, right?
  
• People cannot treat you as superior or inferior if they hardly interact with you, right?
  
• Therapy for stopping drinking?
  
• Better treatment for depression and drinking at the same time?
  
• I am at my fourth psychiatrist, just how long should I shop around?
  
• What would change if I was super obese?
  
• Similarly, what would change if I managed to get actually fit?
  
• Maybe my sex drive would return. Maybe. In which case what, divorce wife?
  
• Cheat on her?
  
  Look, I'm not sure you're going to find the right answer here on this forum. Answers here, in fact, might be dangerous. You need to be treated for alcoholism and depression. Or if you feel you can't find someone to treat you, you need to focus yourself on improving in those areas through your own study. Start to make headway there and other things will start to fall into place. Have more days sober than drunk, have a will to live, bring some hobbies, drive, and passion back in your life, and then maybe we start thinking about how to improve your marriage.
  
  I'll leave you with a book that helped me reframe my thinking about alcohol. I've recommended it here before and most men agree. This Naked Mind.
  
  Good luck.

I'm going to give you an alternative perspective.

The 'Stay Plan' is the same as the 'Go Plan'. Regardless as whether you're with her or not, you must work on you. Having her as the 'sharpening stone' to hone your Frame and MPoO does add a measure of value to your path and your mission. This woman WILL continue to test your Frame, she's doing it now with all the strong emotion. Use her as the metric to your progress.

Contrary to the other voices, there's no urgency here and you have the better hand. Do what it takes to make your hand better. If that means going to another state for a brief, measured period to 'sweeten to pot', then do not lightly take that off the table.

Get your head on straight, retainer a lawyer, and build your plan.

Given your circumstances, the next book you should be reading is The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene. Like right now!

Listen, if you ever hope to have real anal sex with her, you need to commit to a 90-120 plan of anal training her.

Anal is all about relaxing the muscles and getting use to the feeling. This takes time and effort.

First thing is you need an anal training kit, a quality water based lube, eventually an enema ball and an assortment of cock rings.

The first step in the process is going to be getting her use to the external stimulation. This is where you must have frame. IMHO you need to clearly and overtly state your intentions that you want to try this with her, and are going to guide her in the process.

You cannot be a faggot here. No one is going to go from no anal to taking a full cock in there and enjoy it, and want it more than once. This is where 99% of men fail in getting anal from their woman.

The process goes like this: (I am going to assume you are ok with eating ass)

You need to first get her comfortable to external stimulation. This includes your tongue and a very wet finger. You need to start doing this every single time you have sex, but under no circumstances do you enter yet.

After you have trained the initial reaction of touch away from the area, you are free to start going for insertions. There are two positions I would recommend. Her on her back with her legs up with her hips on the edge of the bed and doggy. Make sure her ass is high and head low.

I prefer the back to start. You will be able to see her face, gauge her level of fun and it honestly makes her feel a little less like a whore in that position as well.

As you move into insertion training it is important for either you, or her to provide clitoral stimulation during this process. It keeps her mind off it and helps her relax. It also builds an Oxytocin connection between pleasure and anal, which will benefit you later.

Keeping your nails clean and maintained is critical if you are going to do this. You also need to be prepared to see shit on your finger, and possibly smells as well. This will be fixed later on, as you progress up the ladder to the point of using an enema ball before butt play.

The anal trainer kit I linked has one plug that slides over your finger. This will make it feel nice and smooth inside her vs you finger.

Lots of lube, and go in slow. DO NOT fuck her ass. The point right now is to just put it in, and hold it. This is going to start training her anal sphincter to not want to clamp down when this happens, which will allow you to move onto more fingers, etc.

This process should be done for 3-5 weeks, as often as possible. DO NOT get ahead of yourself and try a bigger plug or your dick. YOU HAVE to invest the time to properly train her sphincter to be able to relax, and allow her brain to build that muscle/brain connection so she can relax it herself.

If you are interested in butt play for yourself (you should be) now is the time to start experimenting yourself. Do it to yourself and get used to the sensations. What you feel is basically what sees feels. Being able to empathize and coach her thru the feelings goes along way.

Once she is taking that finger like a boss, I move up the plug size. I do not go for multiple fingers yet. The reason plugs are a thing is cause they go in there and sit. Their job is to train the sphincter.

At this point I would move onto putting a plug in her and then fucking her vagina. Let her feel the DP sensation, and be prepared to have your mind blown as well. Do this for another 2-3 weeks.

At this point she should easily be able to take a finger and a small plug in her with no issues and leave it in there for 10-20 minutes at least. Again, make sure lots of lube!

The next phase is to move her to the medium plug. This is where I start to consider using the enema ball to get clean first, as this plug is going to be longer and thicker. You will have to guage her interest in that. Make sure you use warm water, and again I would highly recommend doing it to yourself first so you understand the process. LPT: As it is inside you and your squeezing the ball to get the water inside you, DO NOT let go of the ball until you take it out. If you do the vacuum in the ball will suck everything out of your ass into the ball and it will be nasty and hurt. Keep the ball compressed until you pull it out.

Before you move onto the final plug and/or your dick you need to get the enema part figured out. Getting your shit pushed up hurts, and it will kill all your progress.

NOTE: NO WHERE in any of this have I said "fuck her ass" All you are doing is putting something in there and it stays. We are still training, she is not ready for in/out penetration yet.

Once you have gotten to the enema part, and the large plug and we are good there, you can fuck her with it in there, and she can have it inside for 15-20 minutes you are free to go back to fingers and go for two.

Now is your chance to ever so slightly "fuck her" ass with your fingers. SLOWLY! there should be 1-2cm of movement TOPS. That is about 1/2 the length of your finger between your knuckles. LOTS OF LUBE!

By this point, you should be 90-120 days in the process of training her.

When you believe she is at her sexual peak of the month, I would go ahead and plan to try for penis insertion at this point. You will need to warm her up down there. Start with a finger, to a plug, fuck her with the plug.

You will be able to gauge if her ass is "in the mood" or not. There are nights when my girls ass is DTF, and nights where it is not. YOU HAVE to have the self control to not fuck and ass that isnt in the mood to be fucked.

I like to use a cock ring when doing anal. I already have diamond hard erections thanks to Test/Tren and daily Cialis, but everything helps. You cannot fuck an ass with a limp dick.

Your goal for your first insertion should be to just slimpy get it all the way in and hold it. SHE IS NOT ready to be fucked in the ass yet. Slide it all the way in and let it rest in there. Allow the sphincter time to learn the size and sensation of it.

By this point, if you have both mentally and physically prepared her for this, my girl actually with orgasm when I slide it in her ass.

Do not ever make it about fucking her ass. You are fucking her. So have your fun for a min or two, pull out, use a baby wipe to clean yourself off to be safe then go back to fucking her and finish anywhere but her ass. This is important for the first few sessions. We are mentally training her to be a slut, not a whore and there is a difference.

Hygiene is important. Clean yourself. Never go straight from anal to vagina or oral, even though they do it in porn. A2M and A2V is not good.

Once you have anal trained her, you should have a girl who actually loves to get fucked in the ass, which is honestly rare. The vast majority of women who do anal do it but don't like it.

All of these steps can be applied to you as well. Like I have said before, anal on a man feels great (no homo)

And if you really want your mind fucked, put a small plug in your ass, while you fuck her in hers.

Here grab this off Amazon.

The gift of injury your gonna love it, and you could use an inspirational story.

Dr McGill has already been mentioned to you. Hes the best there is. Do his big 3 movements the second you can perform them pain free.

Hang in there man.

5x5 is a great body of training to do as maintenance or for beginners coming in looking to move up into heavier lifts.

But as a long term program, it lacks focus and intensity for advancing past intermediate gains. There are many programs you could use, Mark Rippetoe wrote an excellent book about strength training, I suggest you check it out.

Starting Strength

First of all, you don't need to run. If you like it, great. Keep doing it if you want. But losing weight is 95% a function of diet.

To stay not fat, get your diet squared away. I assume you already have done to some extent, by virtue of losing 40 lbs. I'd bet this is more due to your diet than to your running. Anyway, read this and do it. And make sure you get 1 g protein per lb body weight. When you start lifting heavy, your body will be begging for protein.

With regard to lifting, read the intro section here: https://stronglifts.com/5x5/#Introduction

Do it for a month. Use that month to get acquainted with the Bench, Squat, and DL.

Also during that month, Buy and read this: https://www.amazon.com/Simplest-Effective-Training-System-Strength-ebook/dp/B00AJ8CIQM and READ IT. DON'T JUST GO OUT AND DOWNLOAD A 531 APP AND THINK YOU GET IT.

When you finish the book, read this, and then implement it:
https://jimwendler.com/blogs/jimwendler-com/101065094-5-3-1-for-a-beginner

531 beginner program leaves a lot of space to continue your running habit. Just don't go overboard on the running. (The 5.3.1 %s and terms like FSL will make sense after you read the book)

Guys, especially guys here, will tell you that you need to wreck yourself every time you train. "You MUST Go to failure!", "You need more volume!" It's terrible advice and is not advocated by professional strength & conditioning coaches. It is not necessary. You are not a Navy Seal. You are not an NFL linebacker. You're not in a Gatorade commercial. (also note - NFL players & SEALs only wreck themselves on rare occasions).

You just need to show up each day and progress. Nobody expresses this more matter of factly than Wendler (the author of 531)- so it's important to READ THE BOOK and understand the training principles.

This will build a base of strength. You need that base of strength before you even think about anything more specialized or more aesthetically oriented.

>I'm not familiar with that book but my assumption is that it's similar to the Mayo one since it seems to be from PHS.

Is this the book?
http://www.amazon.com/Mayo-Clinic-Guide-Healthy-Pregnancy/dp/1561487171

>I'm not sure what first time mothers are like over there but in the US there are various camps trying to pedal one thing or the other and all sorts of infighting. It's super confusing and overwhelming.

Haven't heard of that over here to be honest. What kind of thing are they pedalling?

Hmm, I don't remember her not answering any. We had a few drinks and were both relaxed, and it was in good fun so she didn't resist.

That author has a more game like book, maybe try that one?
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1089551703/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_mTMLDbKZF59NT

I for one think there can never be enough alpha on your shirt but everyone under estimates the under wear. https://www.amazon.com/fashion-wolf-underwear-boxers-shorts/dp/B01ERC3PWQ Just look at the way the snout shows the bulge.

Anyways. After a long hard day of choreplay I like to chill out with the alcohol free beer my wife has approved for me. Really hits the spot.

Hijacking this top post to recommend everyone who’s not familiar with psychedelics yet to read this book before experiencing them. It’ll answer most of your questions and give a good idea of whether you’re ready to have a positive experience.

https://www.amazon.com/Psychedelic-Explorers-Guide-Therapeutic-Journeys/dp/1594774021