Best products from r/hapas

this is on my read list.

This Strange Idea of the Beautiful, François Jullien

>In This Strange Idea of the Beautiful, François Jullien explores what it means when we say something is beautiful. Bringing together ideas of beauty from both Eastern and Western philosophy, Jullien challenges the assumptions underlying our commonly agreed upon definition of what is beautiful and offers a new way of beholding art.

>Jullien argues that the Western concept of beauty was established by Greek philosophy and became consequently embedded within the very structure of European languages. And due to its relationship to language, this concept has determined ways of thinking about beauty that often go unnoticed or unchecked in discussions of Western aesthetics. Moreover, through globalization, Western ideals of beauty have even spread to cultures whose ancient traditions are based upon radically different aesthetic foundations; yet, these cultures have adopted such views without question and without recognizing the cultural assumptions they contain.

>Looking specifically at how Chinese texts have been translated into Western languages, Jullien reveals how the traditional Chinese refusal to isolate or abstract beauty is obscured in translation in order to make the works more understandable to Western readers. Creating an engaging dialogue between Chinese and Western ideas, Jullien reasseses the essence of beauty.


https://www.amazon.com/This-Strange-Idea-Beautiful-French/dp/0857420100/

side note, Thomas Henry Huxley's On Evolution and Ethics is considered to be the first modern books to be translated into Chinese, so there's that cheery tidbit.

I think you need to revamp your entire skin routine to resolve this. Rule #1, be gentle, not only in exfoliation methods whether those be physical or chemical, but also you should pay attention to the chemicals you are putting on your face (ie products that are conflicting each other and if anything you're putting on your face is even what you need).
I would suggest washing with CeraVe for dry skin (it's inexpensive, super gentle, feels great!). Use a Konjac sponge if you don't have a Clarisonic (if you do use a Clarisonic only use the softest level of brush head and maybe only do it once a day properly meaning use a lot of water and plenty of cleanser to get the proper slip going on to not over aggravate your skin).
Only use mildly warm water, never hot, do not ever scrub your skin. Just gently exfoliate if doing physical exfoliation. You will need to do some form of gentle exfolation to remove the dead skin regularly.
If you wear make up start doing double oil cleansing. If you do not wear make up just ignore this sentence lol.
When you're done washing your face if you're going to bed: get an antioxidant serum to help support your skin, then layer a very good moisturizer, and then a "sealer" so a face cream that works that's heavier on top of that, maybe even add a few drops of oil to your final cream layer.

Go to bed: wake up, wash gently, pat dry, anti oxidant serum, daytime SPF at least 20 or more. If you find your SPF is too drying then you need to search for one that has some oil in it probably. I suggest using Supergoop Mineral for that.

I know it sounds like a lot but it really isn't. The main thing is just getting your products lined up and then wash/dry/apply. It just takes a few minutes, I promise, and your skin will look amazing.

If your skin can tolerate it- I'd try adding some AHA's to your routine also like a glycolic acid treatment a few times a week.

I've noticed several people ITT wondering at why an African woman would make a film that seemingly offers no advantage to her (or even puts her and other African women at a disadvantage) dating-wise.

It's also possible this documentary may not have been made with the intention of promoting black men with asian women, but it happened anyway because quite a few of these men do end up with locals.

But this phenomenon being described - women of other groups recommending non-asian men to find asian women, definitely happens too.

If you look on Lily Petals World's videos (A Korean youtuber now married to an African man from Kenya), especially the ones about why she loves black men, you'll see even a few black american women in the comments encouraging her and saying how cute it is.

Maybe such women just have a very low mateguarding instinct; either they are simply used to seeing men dating out (I hear this is a common experience for African-American women) and accept it, or don't see it as a threat to themselves, like if they were also desired due to a racial fetish (As could be the case with the filmmaker).



A lot of people (not referring to you guys ofc) tend to assume that Africa is home to a monolithic entity of black people. Even some black americans think this way (usually afrocentrists) but this is most assuredly not the case. There is division and even tension amongst Africa's various nations, racial and ethnic groups.

The creator of this film is an East African Somali. Apparently East African women fetishise West African men (Particularly Nigerians) and vice versa. Who knows, she could even be seeing a West African man in China. This may be of help explaining why she made such a documentary.



Nigerian forum discussing dating Somalis. The general consensus seems to be that Somali men with Nigerian women is not as common for cultural reasons, yet the opposite happens frequently in places where the two populations intermingle (e.g. The US). One poster remarks that Somalis and other Horn Africans are like the "Asians of Africa" (because apparently their penises are tiny):

http://www.nairaland.com/1247834/nigerian-women-marry-somali



(From a Somali forum) "Lately Somali girls marry Black guys, but are not happy":

https://www.somalinet.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=202415



Article about the growing trend of Nigerians dating East African women:

https://web.archive.org/web/20130427045735/http://vibeweekly.com/features/1030-that-nigerian-man-will-never-marry-you-a-warning-to-east-african-women.html



This also happens with women from neighbouring Ethiopia. Usually it's Ethiopian women who are praised for their lighter features:

http://www.nairaland.com/2429410/ethiopian-women-nigerian-men-pics

http://www.nairaland.com/1584523/nigerian-women-vs-ethiopian-women



A Nigerian man wrote this book which oddly focuses on demonising black american women while reocmmending black american men to date out:

https://www.amazon.com/Negro-Wars-Examination-Destroyer-Community/dp/1517655153/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1474643458&sr=8-1&keywords=Negro+Wars

*****

Some Somalis also have creation myths about Arab men coming to Somalia from the Gulf and starting local clans by intermarrying with Somali women.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Habr_Awal

>Sheikh Isaaq Bin Ahmed was one of the Arabian scholars that crossed the sea from Arabia to the Horn of Africa to spread Islam around 12th to 13th century. He is said to have been descended from Prophet Mohammed's daughter Fatimah. Hence the Sheikh belonged to the Ashraf or Sada, titles given to the descendants of the prophet. He married two local women in Somalia that left him eight sons, one of them being Abdirahman (Awal). The descendants of those eight sons are the what is known as Isaaq clan today.

> Your spirit seems very well adapted for the life you led.

I think so too. Thank you.

> You appear to be on several levels of woke higher than everyone else. I don't think you appear sad, you'd lived your life with a quiet dignity.

Thank you! :) You're really very kind. Quiet dignity is what I'm aiming for, so I'm ecstatic.

> I'll check out Life of Pi.

Suraj Sharma turns in a great performance in Ang Lee's film, but I strongly recommend reading the book first. There's a big twist that's a gut punch in the book, but a bit confusing in the film. The book also has a lot more explicit discussion of religion.

> Have you seen The Fountain?

Never. Only Aronofsky films I've seen are Requiem For A Dream and Black Swan. I'll definitely make sure to watch The Fountain along with Noah and Pi. Aronofsky's incredible.

> Let me know if you're interested.

Thank you for the invitation, but I'm generally not interested in or particularly good at small talk. I do like to PM the occasional /r/hapas user, though.

Very good story. I'm like you, I had the privilege of having a grandmother who was born in the late 1800s (actually, a great-grandmother). Anybody who grew up around those types of people are likely to have been positively influenced by them. This woman never had a car in her life, walked everywhere she went, did lots of hard work well in to her late 90s, like gardening all summer, lifting heavy stuff up stairs, etc.. Those types of people who grew up without electricity, air conditioning, soft beds, etc, are on a whole different level. Regardless of race.

I agree that you tend to develop sense of superiority compared to normal people, when you grew up hard, or succumbed to hard conditions at some point in life. To the point where you begin to see "hard work" as something that you actually need, like air or water. Also, what really inspires me about the older generations is how they didn't gorge themselves on food, in fact, they ate very little, and were surprisingly strong for their size, even in old age.


One guy who really inspires me is Hiroo Onoda, a Japanese soldier who lived in a jungle for almost 3 decades. I highly recommend reading his book about his experience. He was one of those "old guard" people who lived hard and long, and "did the impossible" as an everyday thing. Patience, persistence, stoicism... All attributes that have been totally lost in many countries, since WW2.

https://www.amazon.com/No-Surrender-My-Thirty-Year-War/dp/1557506639

Refreshing comment and some good examples. Cool to hear not that many immediately go into full denial or uncomfortably-try-to-divert-conversation mode and shit like that.

As for that second last point, seen that book before but this one is much more impactful and better.

That last paragraph is basically just - for those other white guys - them mostly just unknowingly feeding you some of that "privilege" (at least in Anglosphere) as they'd likely not have listened had it not been another guy like them who's not a minority and looks like them etc. - reminds of that Tim Wise guy who talks nonstop on 'white privilege' a lot at colleges and has books about it yet the whole irony of it all that most just can't see is that they're really only listening to him about it cos he's white like them. Had it been a Black guy for example up there talking about 'white privilege' instead - most likely all the white guys would wail about it and go into full denial mode and/or try to leave promptly etc.

I am super big into skincare and beauty products in general.
When it comes to dry skin, I found that this product works the best.

I generally spend a lot on beauty, but with moisturizers, a 10 dollar product is just as good, if not better than a small 80 dollar glass bottle from Nordstrom.

If you are wanna spend some more time and money into getting better skin, I can give you advice on face masks, cleansers, anti-aging cream, and exfoliating products.

http://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

tell them at an early age who they are, that they are mixed and they will be different. tell them that this this is ok and they don't have to be like everyone else

after that generally good parenting applies

no helicopter parenting, encourage physical exercise, instill good self discipline, don't stress on education too much, don't let schooling get in the way of education, let them find a passion and support it. do vaccinations.

I just came across this old 1989
book with a similar plotline

https://www.amazon.com/Guest-Honor-Irving-Wallace-ebook/dp/B00FWGJYQ8

If he had been just another married man, and she a beautiful woman...it would have been just a passionate affair. But he was the president.

MATT UNDERWOOD — President of the United States, a man about to risk his office...and his life — for love.


ALICE UNDERWOOD — The First Lady, a former Miss America whose lies could kill an affair or cause a world crisis.

NOY SANG — Ruler of a small nation, a woman so lovely that a president could do the unthinkable...and the forbidden...to have her.


HY HASKEN — Investigative reporter, he was after the story of his career — illicit love, powerful alliances, and murder.
RAMAGE — CIA director, his covert operations might be in America's interest...or they might be deadly games of power.

Once in a century a great — and dangerous — love can change the course of history. This was such a love.

I've been using american crew fiber and it's the best product I've tried. I want to try gatsby matte wax next though people seem to like it on amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Gatsby-Moving-Rubber-Grunge-Mat/dp/B000V2ACIM/ref=sr_1_1_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1474742231&sr=8-1&keywords=gatsby+hair+wax+grunge+mat

Yep... I'd say you got about a 1/3 odds, depending on location, political views, empathy, cultural respect. You get those down, and there's a very high chance your kid will be fine. Fuck those up tho... and there's a risk they're going to get the answers to life's questions from somewhere else. Recommended reading: Raising Mixed Race by Sharon Chang. Get's to the heart of what you want. No "you're so progressive" fluff... just a nice distilled "what do I do with my biracial kid" book.

Sharon Chang (a hapa) wrote a great book about raising half asian kids:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466/ref=sr_1_cc_1?s=aps&ie=UTF8&qid=1482567027&sr=1-1-catcorr&keywords=sharon+chang

She also has a blog here:

http://multiasianfamilies.blogspot.com/

This sub is a little crazy for everyone, pretty much TLDR: kids of white male and asian women deal with self esteem issues while growing up. While kids of white women and asian men usually don't.

Apparently one of his accomplishments was speaking at the Hapa Issues Forum. Looking that up. Its basically a college hapa club that collapsed. Real qualified.

I don't argue with him on some aspects. I totally believe in hybrid vigor and that hapas and other mixed race people have biological advantages over monoracial people.

However i realize that humanity doesnt live solely within biological confines. We are an intelligent species and therefore we have a society and culture. We give certain races and traits value regardless of what biology has to say. Therefore even though hapa men can be biologically superior we can also be socially inferior.

He posted here because he didn't know what /r/hapas was and thought he could sell a few more books. Take a look at the reviews for his book: https://www.amazon.com/Breeding-Between-Lines-Interracial-Attractive/product-reviews/1569808023/ref=cm_cr_dp_qt_hist_one?ie=UTF8&filterByStar=one_star&showViewpoints=0 Tons of one star reviews because everyone knows hes spouting pseudo-science bullshit.

That's my concern too. I've seen this book recommended on this sub, and after reading reviews and an interview with the author, it's on my reading list. Check it out, because it seems like it will be a good resource for future parents of multiracial children.

I'm glad I took Spanish in HS, though I need to brush up on it. I feel a good command of verbs are the cornerstone to the latin languages, this book helped me a ton: https://www.amazon.com/Spanish-Verbs-CD-ROM-Audio-Verb/dp/0764197975

For "Asian males" who want to improve their English skills, here's a solution:

https://www.amazon.com/Amazon-Exclusive-Hooked-Phonics-Complete/dp/1604991771

2nd thought. It's purely from a persuasion/copywriting perspective. I read this book a few years ago and one of the steps before writing is to imagine what opposition the reader could have before buying your product (or accepting your conclusion) and address it in the main text in descending order from most to least important.

For you I'd guess it's #1 establishing you are not a troll and not racist #2 establishing the facts that you proclaim are actually true

a black woman is directing the a movie where a black woman loves a nazi hitler youth guy

http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2017/02/amandla-stenberg-defends-her-nazi-romance-film-on-tumblr/

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1235187/

who are writing novels with black women loving white racist men

https://www.amazon.ca/Nazi-His-Lady-Forbbidden-Interracial-ebook/dp/B00J6NAEYE

http://www.goodreads.com/list/show/91188.White_Racist_Falls_for_Black_Woman_BWWM

I would check out scholarly type books and articles as well as:

https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Mixed-Race-Multiracial-Post-Racial/dp/1138999466

https://www.amazon.com/Part-Asian-100-Hapa-Fulbeck/dp/0811849597

for hapa specific. Even reading on the internet about asian racism would probably be helpful.

https://www.reddit.com/r/hapas/comments/49j42u/its_just_a_joke_is_it_tho/

Read this thread I made about the incident.

If you don't mind me asking, are you white or asian? Feel free PMing me that answer.

>I'm also skeptical of, or at least biased against, the idea that my wife married me for social-status reasons. She's far from socially undesirable herself, and is smart enough to get into a medical specialty that'll allow her a far higher income than mine in a few years.

Just the fact that she has higher earning potential than you, solidifies my bias that Asian women marry for whiteness. Whiteness itself is social status is a racist world. A lot of the stories in this subreddit are of Asian women who had high status, marrying down for white men. Just this past month, there was this Ivy league-educated woman from an upper class family marrying a deadbeat cook. There's also this woman who had a masters degree and came from a wealthy Chinese family who was bankrolling her deadbeat white boyfriend who ended up killing her. The definition of internalized white supremacy that leads to WMAF means that Asian women will hold lower standards for white men, because having a white spouse and future white kids is something thats valued by these women. Yea, your case is not as extreme as the two I mentioned, but this is the racist world we live in that you benefit from as a white man.

For anyone who plans on having half-Asian kids, I will always recommend this book by Sharon H. Chang: Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World, and her talk. The author is hapa herself, married a hapa, and has a hapa son, and her book published last year is the most comprehensive work out there on mixed Asians. You should understand that your children will considered Asian by society, as dictated by white society, but they will struggle to identify as Asian too. They will have little to no representation, and as parents of hapas who are monoracial, you should educate yourself, instead of blindly believing myths like that your kid will not face racism, that people will not constantly be questioning your children's label to them to rank them in society based on how white or how Asian they look.

Raising Mixed Race: Multiracial Asian Children in a Post-Racial World (New Critical Viewpoints on Society) https://www.amazon.com/dp/1138999466/ref=cm_sw_r_other_awd_xqp-wbGP6GQAV

Hey, I would say that there are a lot of folks here who are just letting out anger. But there are a lot more resources today for raising biracial kids. Check out the book Raising Mixed Race