(Part 2) Best products from r/hsp

Absolutely, a lot of what you've said has been my focus on the past few years, finding a delicate balance. Also finding tools that help. Meditation is an obvious one, but Kava tea has been helpful too. It is a nervous system depressant sometimes referred to as "nature's xanax". Probably sounds crass, but it's true. It's not like chamomile tea, this stuff has a proven active ingredient that works almost immediately. If you're interested in it this is the batch i just ordered and this is the shaker cup I use(although i don't use the ball it comes with). Use a blender with warm water for 2-3 minutes and pour through a strainer for best results. If you are interested and have questions about it I've become a bit of an aficionado on the topic so let me know.

Have you tried any kind of mindfulness practice? Meditation, deep breathing, autogenic training, guided imagery, that sort of stuff? Doing these things regularly can sort of bring down your baseline level of anxiety, and then doing something like deep breathing in the moment can help calm you down when you're having anxiety.

That time when you're alone for a while would be an excellent time to do some meditating. If you'd like some resources for how to meditate, let me know and I'll dig some up. :)

A good deep breathing technique is to just close your eyes, breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, then breathe out through your mouth for 8 seconds, focusing your attention on the sensation of your breath entering and leaving your body. Some people find it helpful to have words they think of while breathing, like I say "here" while breathing in and "now" while breathing out.

You can find videos on YouTube for guided meditations, autogenic training, or guided imagery.

Also, how about ear plugs, like these?

You are not alone in feeling this way. The way I think of it is I feel like I have the wrong kind of interpersonal Velcro for most people, so they just don’t stick like I perceive most other people stick to each other. It’s understandable for this to make one feel defective, and very alone.

I try to twist it and think of it as an advantage, I think the upside to this means that you can be capable of tremendous self-sufficiency. Invest in you. Take care of yourself even when you want more than anything for someone else to take care of you.

I’m also prone to beating myself over the head with painful facts like “everyone always leaves me”, “nobody loves me like I love people”, etc. these feel so true because you might not have instances to contradict these “facts”. But in truth this is a fallacy summed up as “what you see is all there is” by Daniel Kahneman in Thinking, Fast and Slow link. Just because everyone has left doesn’t mean everyone will always leave. There are billions of humans and we happen to be a tiny percentage who have this sensitivity, there are still millions of us and millions more who have the empathy and imagination to understand us to some extent. Don’t give up. Good luck.

Great post... I agree with almost everything you wrote, and your conclusion: Having a great inner life, cultivating yourself, etc. Our problem with relationships is that we don't understand the "games" 80% of men/women play in our culture. I find HSPs are generally good in most areas, once they discover and embrace their traits; however, HSP men (I can speak only of my experience) have a highly unrealistic, romanticized notion of finding "the one" or a "soul mate", putting women an pedestals, etc... Those are just beliefs that don't match with reality/biology. It sucks to realize this, but it's true... I talk about this in my latest video (see comment somewhere in this thread). Don't give up or get cynical. Align your life paradigm up with reality. For example, you wrote "Many of the things i did weren't for myself but for her sake" ...it seems counter-intuitive, but this is actually not wise. You give your power away, and in so doing, most women actually lose respect for you. Haven't you seen situation where a guy treats a woman like shit, but she can't leave him? The relationship is all about him, but she will not leave...even when guys like us are right there, willing to be in relationship. Now, I'm not saying it's ok to treat women (or anyone) like shit, but what is that dynamic? Why does it work the way it does? Why are nice guys ALWAYS in the "friendzone"? We have incorrect beliefs about male/female interaction. In fact, reality is 180 degrees different than what you were taught/learned growing up. Don't even think about dating until you read the following book. It will change your life in the area of relationships and self-empowerment...

The Rational Male: Rollo Tomassi
https://www.amazon.com/Rational-Male-Rollo-Tomassi/dp/1492777862

I found these amazing sports bras on Amazon that are comfy and actually give the classic bust shape instead of just smushing my ta tas like my old workout bras did. Sounds like they might be what you're looking for, and it's totally risk-free since they do free returns!

I recently bought these fruit of the loom bras on amazon. Originally for just wearing around the house, but they are super comfy and flattering and I wear them all the time now.

I’ve also gotten one similar to the one you linked at target. They have bralettes like that.

you’re welcome this might be a good read for you

I would work on enjoying your time alone and if you’re bored figure out what would change that or what you would rather go do learn to separate your emotions and desires from the status quo around you your satisfaction goes deeply beyond whatever group of people you are in

maybe work on how you present yourself too conversationally online etc I think the things you like are what a lot of people like and I don’t see stigma unless you’re some forever alone gamer nerd

also be careful of how you talk about yourself and your circumstances language like disgust me, people are fake, whatever else of this defeatist attitude seeps out can be a real turn off and you want to be as authentic but also as attractive as possible (especially since you have such little dating experience)

meetup is a website for groups of people with shared interests to have a meetup about that and get to know new people

Here I go writing a huge wall of advice when you just needed to vent. Anyway, good luck and feel free to ignore the following paragraphs:

DISCLAIMER: I am not a psychologist or counselor.

It's really not that strange to imagine someone saying something to you, especially in a noisy place. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to invalidate your (or anyone's!) feelings, but I would like to suggest that perhaps there's more going on than the immediate situation, emotionally speaking.

Are you especially afraid of doing something wrong in public or of social awkwardness? (Or is there anything else about the situation that often triggers seemingly unusual fear/anger/frustration/etc?) I believe that this may not be just HSP, but also some kind of trauma. (Which tends to be a pretty good guess, because virtually everyone is traumatized in some way.)

In any case, I find that the best way to deal with these feelings is to not fight them or flee from them. If you can, try to embrace the feeling completely, go through it and see where it takes you. Try not to think too much, just let whatever comes come naturally. Be warned though, things could get much worse before they become better, but they always do.

A good question to ask yourself might be: "What's the worst thing that could happen [if people think I'm behaving odd/hallucinating]?" And the thing that comes to you might just be something awful from your childhood.

And I'm convinced the same goes for hearing voices. I found Eleanor Longden's TED talk on the subject quite enlightening. Basically she says that any voices you hear tend to represent repressed/unacknowledged emotions or needs. Were you alright? Did you just need someone to ask you that for some reason?

I can't really hope to teach you how to deal with traumas over the internet (assuming you actually need to). In my opinion Ingeborg Bosch's theory of Past Reality Integration offers the most practical and widely applicable set of tools to deal with these things on your own or with the help of a therapist.

I like Vibes. They dim the noise and are super discrete. Vibes High Fidelity Concert Earplugs - Hearing Protection Ear Plugs Noise Reduction for Concerts, Fitness Classes, Motorcycle, Sensory Disorders (Tinnitus Relief & Autism) - As Seen on Shark Tank https://www.amazon.com/dp/B018WPOQSG/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_Dac4Db08AA53H

This thread is awesome- I'm going to check some of these suggestions out!

I've been using sleep bras like these for a while now and I they're really comfortable and supportive enough although not at all a sportsbra.

https://www.amazon.com/LectroFan-Fidelity-Machine-Unique-Non-Looping/dp/B00JU8P8VY

My roommate tosses and turns pretty much all night and the noise of her bed frame creaking would pull me out of even the deepest sleep. (Dont even get me started on when she would have her boyfriend over!!!)

Fortunately this thing has cured it all. Good luck to you!

I keep a space heater in my bathroom specifically for the getting out part. I turn it on right before getting in the shower. I installed a faucet that let's you set the temp knob separately from the on/off knob so once I find my ideal temp I can simply turn the knob on/off without having to adjust the temp every time. This faucet combined with the space heater makes for a pleasant showertime. When I get out, I towel off with a very soft bamboo fiber towel in front of the space heater as if it were a hand dryer, in this case a body dryer. The heater only runs for about 10-15mins per shower so it doesn't cost much to use it this way.

At some point I discovered earplugs, and now I wear them everywhere. I recommend these, they're super cheap and comfortable:

https://www.amazon.com/Howard-Leight-Visibility-Disposable-LL-1/dp/B0007XJOLG

Just catching up with reading . . .
Good luck with adjusting your diet regarding tannins! That's very interesting info. If eliminating tannins doesn't work, perhaps you'd like to check out info on adrenal fatigue. It sounds as though that could be an issue too. Just a thought . . .
http://www.amazon.com/Adrenal-Fatigue-Century-Stress-Syndrome/dp/1890572152/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1464133745&sr=8-3&keywords=adrenal+fatigue

I found these bras a while ago and absolutely love them. They’re super comfy!

These headphones were a game changer for me: Sony Noise Cancelling Headphones WH1000XM3: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07G4MNFS1/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_FF9EDb56RHNNK

They are pricey but the second I put them on I knew it was worth it. Also great for traveling on planes and such.

They do really well at blocking out even most voices, especially if you have some music playing.

You could see if your company will buy you some but my guess is they will try to get away with something cheaper and/or it will take 2 months to process the request.

Wow! Thanks I'm going to check them out! These are pretty good on top of standard earbud headphones when I want to listen to music but not at ear-splitting volume: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01KBZDB4K/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o08_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1

Yoga helps when I do it, which sadly has not been all that often lately. Are you suggesting to the HSP that they go to a class? Like, in front of people? HSPs usually don't like exercising in front of people. I have never been to a class for that exact reason.

I started with this DVD and have some others in her series. They're very easy to follow & you learn the basics. But like californiabound said, you can't force someone to do something they don't want to do.