(Part 3) Best products from r/infertility

Hey! Yes! Exposure therapy is a thing! As a therapist specializing in anxiety disorders, I can attest to it!! I would say though, that best practice for treating anxiety no longer supports the "downregulating" model. Sometimes that can subtly teach us that we can't handle our anxiety and need to make it go away, when actually the anxiety itself is harmless, but sometimes convinces us to do maladaptive things (like avoid needles). This article in huffpost isn't perfect (again it sort of talks about needing to 'control' anxiety, rather than accept and be willing to experience it) but it gives a decent overview of the process. They also link to a book that can be used to help yourself do exposure therapy.

/u/ttctoss I think that you are very brave to challenge yourself to do shots!! My husband has a needle phobia, and despite this being my area of expertise, we haven't tackled that (I've learned not to try and treat your family). Best of luck to you!!

Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about your two blocked tubes, but well done on you and your OBGYN for having the tests done early! Having a diagnosis is a very good thing.

Here's the major problem with your diagnosis: The surest way for you to get pregnant is IVF, with or without surgery to remove your blocked tubes (probably with). However, most insurance doesn't cover IVF. Insurance probably would cover surgery to open your tubes, but this is a technically difficult surgery with a mediocre success rate, your risk of ectopic will be higher than normal, and you won't know whether it worked until you've tried for several more months. The screwed up insurance system in the US sets up a lot of perverse incentives for couples with infertility, and this is just one of them. Dr. Sher writes briefly about this dilemma in his book.

Anyway, definitely visit an RE, as everyone else says, and if they recommend surgery to open your tubes, ask about their success rates. It may end up being a good choice for you.

Though my HSG showed no blockage, I eventually had both tubes removed due to subsequent infections (it's complicated). I had IVF in February and it appears to have been successful. It's been one of the most unpleasant ordeals of my entire life, but the end is in sight for me. I wish you the very best luck. Please keep up updated.

I’m with you!! I’m a pretty normal-sized 5’4.5” person, but I weigh 145. I keep comparing myself to the size I was when I got married at 22 (125lbs), and I tend to be on the higher BMI side. But I’m very strong for being a woman/my size so I try to remember that :)

This is the scale I have! I’ve had it for two years and I like it a lot. The app is pretty good and of course it connects to health kit if you’re and apple person.

Hi - totally biased response here. I have twins (5 yrs now) from putting back two and I have also made the decision (during a subsequent FET) to discard an embryo so that I didn't have another set. (And I had healthy full term babies - more on that later...) To this day I regret throwing a good one away. I didn't want to do it at the time but I felt pressure from my husband, the RE, everyone to not risk twins again - I was also told the chances of more twins were 40%+. Not true - the cycle failed. Nor did I have twins the next time when I put two back.

My RE always asks - what would be worse, not getting pregnant or having the twins? That is the question you need to ask yourself.

Regarding a healthy twin pregnancy - there ARE things you can do to help your twins be healthier - if you put two back, please read When You Are Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads by Barbara Luke. (http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Edition-ebook/dp/B003V1WTXQ/ref=dp_kinw_strp_1) If you follow her guidelines (short version - eat A TON early in the pregnancy and eat more protein than you really want to) you up your chances of not delivering pre-term and having good birth weights. Your age and overall health also should be a factor. But again, that's IF you end up pregnant with twins.

Best of luck - this is tough decision, I know. I'll be thinking of you.

ETA: Feel free to PM me if you have more questions.

> Anybody know where I can buy a sleepmask and earplugs that will only let my alarm in instead?

These are my go-to ear plugs:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00XW0P84I/ref=oh_aui_search_detailpage?ie=UTF8&psc=1

I actually just set my phone to vibrate and my phone to loud. It ends up waking up my husband who in turn wakes me up.

However, I usually have my husband put in headphones. We watch Netflix through the play station and the controllers on the play station have a headphone jack, so he can listen through that. Then I could put on a sleep mask, but the light doesn't bother me.

> In better news, I 'said yes to the dress' this weekend. I have mixed feelings about it, but it's off the to-do list.

This is exciting! Would you happen to have a link to a picture of dress (assuming you got it from a shop that has a website). If not, still congratulations! I'm sure you'll be beautiful.

As shitty as your doctor is (glad you're peacing the fuck out) I am dying that you're gonna show up like "joke's on you!"

I relate hard. I'm Jewish, and my wife is part-Italian (grew up with her Italian mom), so the food thing is huge. We've been on a low FODMAP diet since April, and I've lost 27lbs (also due to fixing health issues) -- part of this has also included what basically amounts to a diabetic diet (keeping carbs under 50g, as low sugar as I can manage, on top of the low FODMAP restrictions). It doesn't have to be boring! Pack lunch for yourself if you're not already, it makes sticking to your diet a lot easier.

Snacks: a metric fuck ton of fruits and veggies, every day -- my favorites are berries (they have a lower glycemic index), kiwis, baby carrots and grape tomatoes. Pair with some cheese (because you have PCOS I will say -- don't do a lot of dairy, it'll create mucus in the body and make shit like ovulation harder) and almond crackers.

Lunch/dinner, with a special eye to Italian style dishes (these are all gonna be low FODMAP, so you can change anything that's GF/no garlic if you'd like): Chicken cacciatore, Korean beef (pair it with zoodles!), skillet lasagne (I do with ground chicken, and ricotta cheese instead of cottage cheese and it's amaaaaazing), "Asian" meatballs (again with zoodles -- make a big batch and freeze), chicken meatloaf (if you want to cut down on calories, skip the bacon on top -- it sounds a bit weird but it's SO good).

Breakfast: I do a lot of smoothies -- just frozen fruit, milk (I get Fairlife because it has extra protein), peanut butter POWDER (only 50 calories in powder form, as opposed to 200+ regularly), and collagen protein powder. The protein powder is important, because protein will keep you full longer -- I love this kind, because you absolutely cannot taste a thing, and it provides a ton of protein. During weekdays/rush, I do Chobani Less Sugar yogurt and berries.

Good luck! You show that doctor who's boss ;)

Unrelated mod note: we ask that folks not have "TTC #1" in their flair, because we do not allow the mention of living children -- so folks can't have "TTC #2", for example. This way, the field is level for everyone in the sub. Could you please remove it? Thanks!

But aren't the patches designed to release a steady amount every day for seven days? Hrm. I know there's at least one pharmacist on this subreddit but I don't remember their username!

Apparently petrolatum based stuff works well. Vaseline was okay, baby oil (mineral oil) was better, and goo gone (the blue medical version) has been the best! Although this stuff actually has better reviews on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B000E5BKVE/

If you're interested in some supplements to try to help, I have my husband taking FertilAid for Men, MotilityBoost, fish oil, and L-Carnitine. He also smokes quite a bit - not heavily - but definitely enough for it to be a cause for concern from me at least. So I've been pushing him to take other measures to be as healthy as possible. Good luck. Hopefully your next test will give you better results!

Medication definitely has a role to play. Having negative previous experiences in therapy is tough but a lot of it does come down to fit and really wanting to be there (as opposed to sent there by mom or some other well-intentioned person). I think you guys are definitely not on the same page when it comes to the role of dreams and part of it that is down to your personal histories, part of that is down to how dreams were approached in your families of origin and part of that is your history together. But people change over time and the conclusions both of you came to years ago may no longer be relevant. Even if he won't go to therapy, can I encourage you to pick up John Gottman's book. He talks in there about reconciling dreams and provides some examples and exercises that a couple could do.

I will (always and forever) recommend There Is No Good Card For This if folks want to explore their empathy and compassion more. It's more focused on close relationships, but I think it easy to extrapolate out to more casual or professional relationships.

It may go with out saying, but greeting every new colleague with "so do you have kids?" is loaded and kind of inappropriate (unless maybe you are surrogates? sorry my brain lives there now). I read the advice somewhere else along these lines, NEVER ask someone if they have kids... either they will tell you they have kids (if they want to) OR mention your own kids and they will pile on. I thought that was a good alternative approach that doesn't put people in an uncomfortable situation.

I'll also add that the "do you have kids?" question often borders on sexism as well. I get asked it WAY more than my male peers from what I can tell.

I also suffer from migraines and really struggled during treatment.


I found my migraines were at their worse at the beginning of new medication (estrogen, progesterone, gonadotropins... didn't matter, they all sucked), but lessened after the first week. Hopefully this will be the case for you, too. My RE said Sumatriptan (Imitrex) is safe to take during treatment and pregnancy if this is a medication that helps you. My PCP recommended daily magnesium supplements (400mg), which I do believe reduced the frequency of my migraines. I also bought a headache hat so I could at least be mobile during migraines. I loved it so much I bought a second.


Sorry you're going through this, but hope some of these suggestions help!

Yes, I totally get that. Someone in this sub recommended "Navigating the Land of IF" and so I bought it for myself and husband to read. The book frequently uses an island as a metaphor, and one part stuck out to him. It was something to the affect of you're on the same island, but the weather might be different on different sides of the island, which is okay. You shouldn't try to make your partner have the same weather you're having. He was like "huh. I guess I kind of do that when you're down and I'm trying to be optimistic. I guess I should just listen." YES. I certainly don't want him to be sad because I'm sad, but being realistic about this whole situation is important. And when you're so far down, any bit of optimism seems like unrealistic rainbows and fairy tales.

Oh, I wish mine was that easy! He's a very practical guy, not into sports or cars or games (some games but not a huge gamer). Most everything he wants we just buy because it's practical stuff. So, I had a shirt designed like a hoodie that he wanted, but the shirt was MUCH cheaper and I got to make it look better. =P And I ordered [this] (http://www.amazon.com/How-Speak-Wookiee-Intergalactic-Communication/dp/1452102554) after seeing it at Target. And I'm making him a [man crate] (http://www.mancrates.com/), but cheaper and with more stuff: jerky, trail mix, his favorite Bert's Bees, freeze dried fruit. Trying to think of more stuff, but it's actually A LOT. His birthday IS Valentine's Day so that's why he's getting so much. =P

I've had some good results with this stuff. Helps to calm frizz and smells good.

My go to routine has been to rinse out conditioner like 80% of the way. Flip my head over while still in the shower and lift and squeeze out moisture, then do the same with a microfiber towel or t-shirt. Spritz with leave in conditioner and and add some alcohol free hair gel for curls. Then use little jaw clips to lift up sections near the top of my head to air dry for a bit so it doesn't get too flat. If sections get too frizzy, I sort twist curls with my fingers and spritz with a little more leave in conditioner and it sets that way. BTW, this all is a lot faster than it sounds so I do most of it before leaving the shower!

[cw, someone else's pregnancy]
Friends' baby shower is Sunday afternoon. All the presents are wrapped. (Hot tip: Wish, by Matthew Cordell will make you cry but is a beautiful book for people who are pregnant after struggling)

Pregnant friend's mom just flew in last night, and husband and I are going to spend the next few days remembering how much we love and appreciate our own mothers.

I don't have any advice from personal experience yet, but when I was choosing a clinic I looked into whether I would want to transfer two embryos at one time, since one clinic I looked at had a shared risk plan that didn't allow elective single embryo transfer. Someone on this board recommended I read the book "When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets, or Quads" by Barbara Luke. It gives a very comprehensive coverage of multiple pregnancy, including what to expect during the pregnancy (both anecdotal and quantitative data) and recommendations on nutrition, time off work, etc. for a multiple pregnancy. I felt a little silly reading it without being pregnant, but it was really helpful to me in making a decision. I'd recommend taking a look at it if you are interested. The Amazon link is: http://www.amazon.com/Youre-Expecting-Twins-Triplets-Quads/dp/0061803073/ref=la_B000APSJL2_1_1/192-5989079-8342909?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1412131579&sr=1-1.