(Part 2) Best products from r/infp

I love esoteric stuff!

The 19th century occultist Joséphin Sar Peladan wrote in his work Comment on devient mage:
"Do not look for another measure of magical power than that the power within you, nor for another way to judge a being than by the light that he sheds To perfect yourself by becoming luminous, and like the sun, to excite the ideal life latent around you—there you behold all the mysteries of the highest initiation." There's merit in that.

Mind you many esoteric subjects as well as occultism are riddled with a lot of bullshit and many critics take advantage of that to discredit it altogether - but there are gems to be found.

I'm reading a book at the moment called Learning Ritual Magic: Fundamental Theory and Practice for the Solitary Apprentice - it's quite interesting.

Any reading recommendations and resources will be appreciated if linked in this thread. Things like mentalist and good magic tricks (not cheap gimmicks), showing people cool stuff and having them ask "how did you do that?!" is really enjoyable and people remember it.

Start here for some cool entry-level stuff. There are many more sites like it. Do some research on what skills you need to also score some jobs that are work from home, or that give you lots of free time, or that generally just seem like a "wow I can get paid to do that?" type job. And just assign yourself homework. Even if it takes years, eventually you'll be competent enough to apply to some things from self education, or otherwise maybe find a more traditional educational path the get you where you want to be. You have your entire life to find a niche to fill in this thing we call society, and you may find some niches where people are just like you--doing what they do, but living for life more than anything. It's about the journey, and maybe you'll find that niche at age 59, but between now and then you'll have some awesome memories about all the trial and error, experimentation, exploration, and realizations. Just poke around, see what happens!

EDIT: I'd totally recommend some fun, INFP fitting books also--not work related, but more "how to fit into the world related". The first one I finished last week and it makes me think about how society can be all a game, and extremely hard to escape from, even if you go to the fringe. The second two I read one summer, 8 years ago, and they completely shaped my worldview and decision-making about who I want to be.

My suggestions:

• Ishmael by Daniel Quinn
  
• The Dharma Bums by Jack Kerouac
  
• How to Be Idle by Tom Hodgkinson

ASOUE = A Series of Unfortunate Events (for anyone wondering, I had to look it up)

Curios, what PUA book did you read? Not all are the same, some are written by misogynists who subsequently don't have a healthy attitude towards women. Some have merit. A distinction should be made between 'picking-up' and maintaining a healthy relationship. So in that regard, if you read PUA material or are interested, I would implore you to read books that address cultivating 'inner-game' foremost.

I'm by no means an expert. Though I can recommend some good books that you will find helpful or insightful at the very least.

The Rational Male – Preventive Medicine, by Rollo Tomassi
Rational and pragmatic, the book explores the intergender and social dynamics of each stage of women's maturity and provides a practical understanding for men in dealing with women in those phases.

Models: Attract Women Through Honesty, by Mark Manson
Models is the first men's dating book ever written on seduction as a purely emotional process rather than a logical one, a process of connecting with women rather than impressing them, a process of self-expression rather than manipulation. It's the most mature and honest guide on how a man can attract women without faking behavior, without lying and without emulating others

Hope this helps.

You're INFP, yeah? In addition to creativity, you've got inner values that make you somewhat rebellious and individualistic. Embrace them!

When writing, doubt anything that comes out a little too easily. If it's an idiom, it may be a cliché. If it's a witty turn of phrase, you may have heard it somewhere else before. If it's a word, don't worry; just go with it. Unless you're doing it deliberately, you run the risk of losing your originality.

Think slowly and read and re-read your writing to ensure that it evokes over and again the precise feeling you want it to, or stirs the thoughts you want it to. Whether through wordplay or painting the picturesque, poetry depends on precision in vocabulary, richness in vision, and an eye and an ear for detail.

In matters of technique, to make your words so effective they flutter off the screen and slap you in the face, I recommend brushing up on your rhetoric; there are books that break down the subject a bit easier, and for the past couple months one of the mods at r/OCPoetry has been running a "Poetry Primer" on specific rhetorical devices and poetic forms (et al) using examples from the subreddit.

And whenever you can, practice! Practice makes perfect. Perfect makes poetry. And poetry makes power.

Henry James. The very height of linguistic English romanticism. "Portrait of a Lady"

I adore James. And he was a master of punctuation; I challenge anyone else to create a paragraph of two entire pages that is perfectly cogent.

James was a literary romanticism god.

Bonus edit - My college English prof hated James. When he found out I loved HJ, college prof gave me all of the James books in his personal library. I was elated, I still have them. :)

https://www.amazon.com/Portrait-Lady-Penguin-Classics/dp/0141439637

Just be cool. Whoever this girl--or anyone you ever know--wants to introduce to you, just say hi and talk to them. A great book for you to read maybe is How to Win Friends and Influence People. Contains very basic info/suggestions about how to treat people like they matter. It's no great mystery. Just takes practice. And comfort with yourself.

As an ESTP, man, you gotta practice that E. Kinda funny you'd be asking introverts about how to be an extrovert. :)

> Hahaha, very amusing as I was just thinking the same thought to myself! "I don't think I quite meant that sentence like I stated it, perhaps I need to re-evaluate what I actually mean." It's more like, we've given certain words too much power? I feel the thought in my head, I'm just struggling to articulate it exactly. Because if you asked me "Do words have power" my answer would be "yes." This is a contradiction, seemingly. I suppose what I'm saying is that we give specific words too much energy or power, or perhaps it's even deeper on a language level? Some are trying to change our language into something that I feel is less useful to us? Or that sometimes I feel that our language is being hijacked in order to serve a specific agenda, and force dialogue into certain channels? I shall keep pondering what I actually mean...

Ok, that made sense, and I would agree. Certain words and ideas hold more power than they "should." That's a very interesting, very complex topic. I'm not sure what I mean by should, but for example, screaming terrorist on Sept 12 2011 probably held a different meaning that day, and for many days following. I don't mean that it actually "had a different meaning;" it would be more accurate to call it a different effect.

> Back to that peculiar situation we sometimes find ourselves in, where there are two truth's in opposition to one another. The reason I'm beginning to see isn't that it's necessarily the universe that holds the two truths in opposition, but our own language that defines things rigidly, that makes things seem in opposition to one another, but in reality are part of a greater whole.

Yes. 2x yes.

I've mentioned Wittgenstein a couple times here before, but if you want to make headway on language and its usage, you should try reading his two works Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus and Philosophical Investigations.

I've been eyeing the Tractatus in my pile of books, but honestly my mind is not yet advanced enough to understand it to the degree I feel it deserves. But maybe you might find it worth the read regarding language and its usage. He was huge on word games - not playing them, well maybe, but I think he had a truly holistic understanding of language.

EDIT: And while we're on the topic of language, since I cannot seem to escape the Being-Becoming duality, I instead attempt to embrace it to the extent that it furthers my understanding of the world.

Let's take the sentence "I don't know that yet." The most important takeaway from that sentence is that it does not read "I don't know that." The expectation of future understanding exists when you include the word, sure, but does expectation of future understanding not exist if you exclude the word 'yet'? The answer must be no, and it's quite easy to prove so, but to leave it at that would be folly. Does not including the word 'yet' have an implication regarding a trajectory of the mind and body? Why did that person not say the word yet? Do they not think understanding may come in the future? The man that says 'yet' is already thinking with energy into the future, and as such, I tentatively argue that the inclusion of the word yet, its mere inclusion, has consequences on whether or not you will achieve whatever came before 'yet'. Alternatively, the man that considers future understanding and excludes the word 'yet', purposefully or not, must in some manner be limiting himself.

So, does the man that says 'yet' and attains that future understanding exist as the man who was going to know, always going to know, or does that same man exist as the man that knows because he said 'yet'?

Ultimately, I see man as trying to separate himself from language, but that is an ignorant perspective. Ignorant of the vast interconnectivity of EVERYTHING. Oh there is so much to say about language... I would say other than trying to answer why there is something and not nothing, language might be the most complex and befuddling topic in existence.

A lot of tarot readers are also deck collectors. :)

I order my decks online, typically. There is a Waite-Smith mini deck (in a tin) available from Amazon for only 10 dollars, and I highly recommend getting a physical deck if you can. The deck I linked has really nice coloring too, it's on my wish list. :)

Etsy has a lot of the fancy indie decks, but you'll be paying ~$40 and up for a deck.

Go to Aeclectic Tarot to find deck reviews, or look up "tarot deck collection" on YouTube if you want to see what people have in their own collections. YouTube is my favorite way to learn about decks!

Edit: You can also get nice decks from bookstores, even Barnes and Noble - that's where I got my Shadowscapes Tarot. Since you can't look at a deck in the store, I recommend looking it up online to see if you like the cards.

I made a point to write down just general compliments I've gotten over the years. People are reserved about their compliments in general and it helps to have them all laid out to remind yourself "Oh yeah. I am loved!"

Having more than one girlfriend tell me I was the best boyfriend they ever had is probably something I'd forget, and certainly needed to hear as a younger man. Because I live in a very Type A city where i thought I must be an undateable loser because Im not an alpha earner. Typical INFP thinking - hard on ourselves and blind to our strengths. It never even occurred to me that I had something to offer others couldn't. Also learning to date women that complimented my personality more so than just my idiotic libido. Like projecting idyllic girlfriend material onto some girl just because she had nice eyes and a dope donk.

Anywho - Start a compliment list. Because not everyone says "I love you" with words - there's 5 languages of love, not 1.

http://www.amazon.com/The-Love-Languages-Secret-Lasts/dp/080241270X

Mine's wordless and touch. I don't need to hear "I love you" as much as I need to physically feel it. A touch of the hand without a word said. An intimate look from across the room - make my INFP ass feel understood. Had a girlfriend make my road rage magically disappear simply by touching the back of my neck and stroking my hair.

Blowjobs help too.

I would suggest 12 people is too much for anyone to manage. The basic rule of thumb I have always related back to is no person should be responsible for more than about 7 people directly. But if you are stuck with the 12 with then my first thought would be to quickly identify 1 or 2 of those people to sort of run a small team within your team. I guess this depends what you do for work, but maybe silo'ing the team into some unofficial groups might make it easier?

I am a team leader. I look after three-four people currently. Very manageable. I have previously been in a position of managing a larger team and found it very daunting as well. Smaller teams are better are way better for us INFP people. I have been fortunate enough to have been involved in quite a bit of business coaching/leadership training over my years. This stuff is invaluable if you can get in on it, and don't consider it a once only affair. Keep revisiting this stuff to keep it fresh and give you new tools.

Also, a book recommendation. It's short but very good. http://www.amazon.com/Who-Moved-My-Cheese-Amazing/dp/0399144463

Haha bro you're good. They probably scoff at your eating healthy efforts because you're in fine shape. I've put on a little chub to deal with the cold (I'm a tshirt+shorts all year round kinda guy) and when I mention working it off again people laugh at me and say I need to get bigger. Obviously they mean muscle rather than fat, but that's beside the point.

In terms of your face, I'm a straight dude so I can really give no actual help but you look fine to me. Girls seem to dig the John Snow look.

When you're talking to girls about yourself don't use words like "transitional period." Ask them questions about stuff, and if they ask you questions keep it to the point and as cheerful as possible.

In fact that's the one bit of "brutal honesty" I can give. Put a smile on that face.

I don't know how old you are, but you look about my age. I'll chuck a picture of me up when I can wrangle one to show you what I mean.

Sorry for the poor quality, I have an Ace 2 :(

I dive in 14 degree Celsius water, so I need the insulation. Under a shirt it's barely noticeable. In summer I get into shape more but for the mean while I like it where it is. Get one of these and you're sorted. This will do far more good than eating habits. (They help too though)

Me with similar expression and pose as the one in your photo. Phone isn't in the right place but who cares.

Look how much a smile and body language does!

So, in summary.

1. Don't talk about healthy eathing and transitioning and whatnot. Ask her some questions, answer her questions to you. I know it's easy for us INFPs to off on tangents, so try and stick to the point.
   
   
2. If you're really worried about your body shape, bulk up rather than slim down. EDIT - just realised I'm an idiot and this is what you meant in the first place. The following advice works regardless. 30 bucks 28 bucks for that bar. Pick a doorway, and do whatever - pull ups, chin ups - to exhaustion (until you can't do any more) every time you go through it.
   
   
3. Smile + shoulders back + good posture. You'll They'll see the difference.

HEY!! i know this was a month ago but i totally forgot to respond hahah. im sorry fam.

I never had to walk too far. I think the farthest I walked was like across a small town. Maybe a 30 minute walk? Only because the on-ramp to the interstate was terrible so i walked to the next one. Which coincided with me getting rid of a SHIT ton of things I had in my backpack it was so heavy lmao.

I had: (after getting rid of shit)

-ALICE pack i bought off ebay for cheap.

-2 shirts, 2 pants, 5 boxers, a few pairs socks, hat sleeping bag & bivvy bag + small tarp.

-100 aleve pills. antiseptic cream, a few bandages and tape for larger injuries, nail clippers, shitty disposable razors, small water purifier


-1/2 gallon water. (id recommend more if you're going thru the middle states.)

-a small alcohol stove I had made out of a soda can

-some oatmeal, chia seeds, few clif bars (for hunger emergencies) ((although people give you food ALL the time, and dumpster diving is a good backup as well))

-my cell phone + [spare battery] and a small solar panel I got as a gift.(https://www.amazon.com/Anker-PowerCore-Lipstick-Sized-Generation-High-Quality/dp/B005X1Y7I2/ref=lp_7073960011_1_1?s=wireless&ie=UTF8&qid=1467750711&sr=1-1).

-silcock key for opening up the taps on the side of buildings

-Harmonica (if i were to go again id probably bring a uke or tiny guitar instead)

Im sure there are other things I brought as well i just dont remember.

Strangers were AMAZINGLY helpful. So many friendly people, got a shit ton of free food.

I had ~1k ish saved up. Didn't really use it much.

It was August - november ish VERY hot.

Couch surfing ended up being all friends, although many of them being only internet friends prior. Honestly I chickened out of the hitchiking real early, which I think would have led to way crazier sleeping stories if i hadnt. heh

I just got broken up with, but reading this book and doing a great deal of self-reflection and self-loving has helped me look forward to imagining and building the rest of my life. There's a lot of fun to be had, I just think INFPs tend to escape into dream worlds when we are not sure where to go next. Just choose one thing you want to try, and take it from there! I've always dived back into researching fun things to do, and seeing the adventures that it will unfold. It helps me stay out of the stupor.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00EGWFMA6/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1

At 27 I did. Wish I knew sooner because my life has been improved dramatically by acknowledging who I am rather than who I think I should be (which was largely determined by others' expectations of me).

If you want to deep dive, I'm a huge evangelist concerning the personalityhacker podcast/website -> https://personalityhacker.com/

You can find some INFP-specific podcasts on the site which can validate a lot of things in your life.

There are also some neat books that I think are great introductory/overview material to this area of study that you can probably find at your local library like the ones below. I recommend them to people that I think find MBTI-related study interesting/want another lens to look at themselves with.

(My favorite broad introduction to types. Hardly technical but accurate, I believe)
https://www.amazon.com/What-Type-Discover-Who-Really/dp/014026941X/

(Career focused one)
https://www.amazon.com/Do-What-You-Are-Personality/dp/031623673X

(One that talks about the theory in general but gives interesting suggestions on how to communicate with different types [note to self, look at what you need in conversations under your section to get your needs met conversationally])
https://www.amazon.com/Art-SpeedReading-People-Speak-Language/dp/0316845183/

(One that talks about personality types for children but can still be used to be insightful for yourself)
https://www.amazon.com/Nurture-Nature-Understand-Childs-Personality/dp/0316845132/

(Excellent book about just infps)
https://www.amazon.com/Comprehensive-INFP-Survival-Guide/dp/1945796154/

Warning: if you're an INFP and you start looking at information about other types, you will probably be constantly debating in your head as to which type you are. This is normal.

I think the best thing an INFP can do with such self knowledge is to a build a life to get their needs met without being righteously indignant (i.e. a jerk) about it when faced with resistance