(Part 2) Best products from r/jobs

Hey, I'm glad to see that you've been able to get a fresh start after a really difficult struggle. I'm honest when I say congratulations!

Here's the great news, its never too late to start over or to begin. You made it out alive -- always remember how far you've come even if now you feel like you have nothing. You're a valuable person and now is the time to remember that, and take your first step in the right direction. Also, there are some other subreddits to check out and where you can ask this question in. I don't know what you were addicted to, but some subreddits deal with people with addictions and they may be helpful in giving you suggestions like: /r/stopdrinking . (Even if you weren't a drinker, they still may be able to help you out with good suggestions).

I'd recommend starting small -- look in your local area for lower skilled jobs: restaurants (servers, dishwashers), retail stores (cashier, stock room worker, sales), grocery stores (cashier, stock room worker, bagger), or other local small businesses for administrative work (secretary, office assistant). Get dressed in khakis (or the dressiest non-jeans pants you own) with a nice button up shirt. Shower, comb your hair, brush your teeth, look presentable -- and look for local businesses that are hiring and confidently ask if there are any positions available. I suggest smaller businesses and applying in person because they'll be more interested in hiring somebody that they'd get along and who can do the job, versus a larger company who would want somebody with on point experience.

Here's why I recommend starting small:

(1) You'll get a paycheck

(2) You'll get a routine

(3) You'll start to socialize, and meet other people

(4) You'll grow some confidence in your sober life

(5) you'll have the time to figure out what interests you


Why I recommend not going for a certificate yet:

(1) You don't know what your interests are

(2) You're taking a gamble on getting a certificate and landing in a career you may like.

(3) It may be difficult for your sobriety to handle that kind of stress


Also, go to your local library, or bookstore, and see if you can find any good books on personal growth, and careers. (What Color is your Parachute is a great book -- talks about finding work for the first half of the book, but the second half has exercises that you can do to learn about yourself and learn about what interests you (The author makes a new edition every year for like 30 years, maybe you can buy / rent an older version for cheap). I'd really recommend taking the time to learn about your interests -- other people might be able to recommend some other good books about personal growth (I liked The Road Less Traveled). I know you're not in the US/UK or a developed EU country, so this may be a challenge to get these books in particular, but I'm sure if you have a local library that they'll have a section for self-help / personal growth / careers. Read voraciously.

You've lost some time, sure, but I really don't think now is the time to be impatient and jump right into a career path without at least laying a small foundation of working and self-discovery.

It depends on your country / location, but there may be some governmental support you can receive either in the form of money, or in the form of job support -- like a local municipality's job website, or local city's jobs bureau or something where they will help you land a job. Further, since I don't know where you live (you don't have to tell everyone) -- I wouldn't even know what certifications to recommend if that's the path you're absolutely set on. I don't want to recommend something to you that you or I don't know whether you'd hate or not.

Lastly, look for a local sobriety group, like Alcoholics Anonymous or something similar. It will be a good way to not only stay sober, but to network. I've worked for people who were in AA, and they tend to help others in the 'program' by helping them find work.

Best of luck, I hope this was helpful.

A lot of people have been recommending the book Never Eat Alone by Keith Ferrazzi.

I'll recommend that book. That book is about how to do social networking right.

It's not going to Business Networking Events (TM) and eating bad hotel food while engaging in a phoniness contest.

It's about just building relationships with people, and cultivating friends who'll help you out when you're in a spot. This, BTW involves being a Good Guy Greg who'll help others in a spot, and making yourself available for such things.

Some of Ferrazzi's tips:

• Cultivate generosity. Not just being able to give in an act of generosity, but being able to graciously accept generosity. The second part is something I find really hard.
  
• Develop your network ALL THE TIME. Not just when you're job hunting. When you begin the job hunt, you want a network already in place that will help you out.
  
• Don't be phony. Really, networking is just being sociable. Look for the kinds of people you like hanging out with, and hang with them. If you fake it, it won't work.
  
• Jerks get flushed out of social networks, so follow the Law of Wheaton.
  
• Give, don't just ask. Like I said, Ferrazzi says the key to success is generosity. Doing volunteer work, say for charities, is a damned good way to jumpstart a social network. Also, if someone is doing something generous for you, accept graciously. Don't keep score on favors. Just pay it forward.
  
• Follow-up. Don't be too obnoxious about it, but when you make contacts, keep in touch with them. I have a hard time with that part.
  
• Share your passions. Don't just go to the Business Networking Phony Luncheon. Go to something you love, and are passionate about. Like sci-fi? Go to sci-fi conventions. Like sports? Go watch or play your sportsball game of choice, and find friends who do likewise.

> A useful asset would seem to be someone the company couldn't afford to turn away. An unpaid intern is use a valuable resource to exploit. How do you reconcile these ideas?

Both the company and the employee should be useful assets to each other. (Or, if you're more cynical about it, both the company and employee will be mutually exploiting each other.)

One of the top-selling business books - Good to Great says that the best leaders "Confront the brutal facts, but never give up hope." It's talking about CEOs, but you can apply it to new grads just entering the job market. Brutal facts for a new grad:

• You have less experience and fewer tangible skills than anybody else on the job market.
  
• You lack a track record or any public information about your past accomplishments. It's hard to convince a hiring manager to trust you when you have no data.
  
• You lack connections and a network of people that have worked with you before.
  
• You often lack a conceptual framework for what professional success in the working world looks like or what employers are looking for.
  
  Balancing that, you do have some assets:
  
  
• First and foremost, you have time. When you're a new grad, your whole working life is ahead of you. Many companies hire new grads specifically because they hope that they will get a long, fruitful career out of them.
  
• You're often willing to work very hard and try new things.
  
• You have few commitments as a young 20-something, meaning that you have freedom to take bold career moves like relocating, or the ability to work extra hours to complete a project.
  
• If you completed a 4-year degree, you have demonstrated the ability to show persistence and follow through on something challenge.
  
• You hopefully have decent social skills and experience hanging out with other people.
  
• You often have better technology skills than older people, and are more in touch with recent cultural developments than them.
  
  If you want to approach your career strategically, you should leverage the assets you have to convince other people to give you the assets you need. You do this by giving them what they want and asking for things in return. So pretty much all of the advice that the OP gave is about highlighting the assets you have:
  
  
• When you request a face-to-face meeting with a hiring manager, you have a chance to demonstrate social skills and ability to work with people.
  
• When you do this politely but repeatedly, you show persistence.
  
• When you go for the hiring manager instead of HR, you show that you are thinking of what others need and not what you need.
  
• When you talk face-to-face and offer to shadow the team, you demonstrate time and flexibility.
  
  In return, you should be looking to acquire the assets that you don't have, so that you are not so disadvantaged in your next job hunt. For example:
  
  
• By entering the workforce, you learn tangible skills that you can apply to a future employer.
  
• You get the brand name of your previous employer, which makes future ones more inclined to trust you.
  
• You can build a network of people that are personally acquainted with your skills, all of whom have their own networks of personal contacts.
  
  The OP suggested going blue-chip, which is the traditional advice. I personally didn't - I worked for a couple startups, founded my own, and then ended up at Google, relying much more heavily on skill development than the brand name. It doesn't actually matter - your actual career path will depend heavily on the opportunities that are available to you. (I wasn't looking to end up at Google, for example, but they said "yes" and I figured it was an opportunity worth taking.) The important thing is that you very honestly take stock of what you lack as an employee and then take the steps to acquire that, using all the resources you have available to you.

With the little description you gave about the role and what it entails, I'm not sure if I can be of assistance on that front. I would assume they would train you properly if you've gone through the correct channels to be legitimately hired (work visa, housing, etc.). I think you need to prepare for the move rather than the position. You do not want to get there and realize you are missing something.

However, I've lived abroad working/living in South Korea and preparing for an overseas move is universal regardless of the position. So here's some advice:

• Pick up a book regarding the customs and work culture in Hong Kong. Here is one and here is another. It's important to note that Asian cultures view work and employee/boss relationship very differently than The West. Too much to explain here, but a google search will provide you with some insight.
  
  
• Do you speak Cantonese? Are you a Hong Kong national or descendant that expatriated? How are your language skills? I would assume you must be near fluent if it's a retail position. Regardless, brush up, practice, and study. English is widely spoken there, but you'll be missing out on the deep culture aspect if you cannot communicate effectively with the locals. Communication = Trust.
  
  
• Get all your documents in order and get multiple copies made of everything. Copy: Passport, Visa, Birth Certificate, SS Card (or equivalent), Driver's License or ID, Contract Information, and anything you deem important. Store these away in a plastic folder that can seal with a string thing
  
  
• Do you know who your boss is? It's pretty customary in Asia to bring your boss a gift from your home country. It can be something local from your region/city or something national. I brought my boss in Korea a bottle of decent bourbon not available overseas and always brought him another one when I visited back home. I was loved. Chocolates are good.
  
  
• Speaking of treats, pick up a big bag of mini snickers, twix, or whatever, and give it to a flight attendant as a gift for doing their job and taking care of everyone. Don't give it to them as you are walking on the plane, but get off your ass right before the flight or when you're a cruising speed and you see one of them in the galley. Just say, "I have something for all of you working this flight. Thanks for what you do." Then, go back to your seat without any expectations. Trust me. They may load you up with booze and give you special treatment. But do not expect it.
  
  
• How long are you working over there? You'll be able to pretty much get anything The West has in Hong Kong for the most part. It won't be hard to find products from home, but their expense may be absurd. If there is anything you cannot do without (toiletries, clothing, shoes (might be hard getting big sized shoes), etc., pick them up now.
  
  
• Change money at a bank near your house now. Check the exchange rates first. I would bring at least $800 in cash just in case shit hits the fan.
  
  
• Are you bringing credit cards and debit cards from your home country? For the love of God, find a credit card/debit card that does not have foreign transaction fee or ATM fees. There are plenty, but I don't know where you live so figure it out and get on it ASAP.
  
  
• Do you know where you are living? Are they providing housing? Do you have a stipend? If not, figure it out or book yourself a room at a cheap hotel or hostel until you do.
  
  
• Say goodbye to friends and family. Hug them. Enjoy the new experience.

First and foremost: congratulations on your recent success! That is awesome to here! I also love your attitude because you are willing to be proactive and go the additional mile to give value back to the company. Very applaudable.

Like a lot that has been said, they hired you for a reason and the training will be important. I would ask questions and really engage them specifically items that are going to be related to your job. Really learn how to do things the right way and what they require. Keep asking for feedback and be open to receiving any feedback while maintaining your attitude.
here is a couple of books to help you understand that goes on in the minds of managers and how you as an employee can help them which in doing so you will help yourself with promotions, more money, experience, etc.
https://www.amazon.com/Minute-Manager-Kenneth-Blanchard-Ph-D/dp/074350917X
https://www.amazon.com/59-Second-Employee-Second-Minute-Manager/dp/0595145000/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1481768362&sr=1-1&keywords=59+second+employee
This will assure you success in your job! Keep growing and keep learning! Best of luck to you! :)

I learned all on my own. Granted I don't do a whole lot of object-oriented programming on a day to day I do write scripts 75% of my time, mostly in PowerShell, some in VBS and even Python.

Python is HUGE in IT. If you look up any job at Google/Microsoft/Pixar/Rocksteady gaming/etc. right now, they prefer you know Python. There are a ton of free tutorials all over the web to browse through but I learned off Codecademy because you can code on screen as you learn.

The bad thing about graduate degrees for people like us that realize what we want to late is the prerequisites. Most graduate programs require you to have a certain amount of mathematics, entry level programming, or equivalent experience before you're accepted, if not a CS undergrad degree. You may have to take classes that don't count towards the degree just to get into the program which, to me, isn't worth the time/money.

I did find a MCIS (Masters of Computer Information Systems) program through Colorado State University (online) that looked slightly promising for me. It does require a certain undergrad GPA, and a GMAT test however but will consider those close. All that being said, I still don't have a Masters and I'm debating going for one like the above. I only really want one because I'm 29 and feel like I'll start losing brain power if I don't consume everything now, like a mid-early-life crisis for nerds I guess lol.

The biggest thing that I could tell you to do right now is to stay motivated. Maybe find an entry level position somewhere and while you're there start working on your programming skills. Don't limit yourself to strictly programming but learn electronics and how software, hardware, and electricity work together. Maybe invest in a Raspberry Pi (like this one) and build something neat using these tutorials. All the while you're gaining a ton of IT and IT Custom Service experience (which you'll never get out of, even as a programmer).

Please feel free to hit me up anytime for any help. :)

EDIT: Sorry so long o_O

I replied to this when it was cross-posted in r/careerguidance, and it looks like it was helpful, so here is that same reply for r/jobs:

TL;DR: Structure an argument on values, not on blame, when stating why you are looking for a new job.

There is no way to 100% accurately describe an employer and have the interviewer "get it"... maybe in extreme situations. Like, "Why did you leave Heaven's Gate?" "They were a cult!" "Ah, right!"... but in most situations the company's internal reputation NEVER leaves the walls. This is especially true for people who patronize the business or are colleagues. The impression they get from colleagues at conferences, the impression they get as customers, etc., is never the same as the impression the people working inside the building get. Think ESPN- seems like a great place to work! Those commercials are fun! But for a while it was hell to work there.

As an interviewee you could NEVER accurately paint that picture without them possibly doubting you and thinking you are being sensitive, or worse, someone who "always has problems". You know? The person with their car always on the fritz and they are feuding with an uncle, and they never get the benefit of the doubt. Too many people are just damaged goods and it makes recruiters/hiring managers standoffish. Hearing blame makes them think "uh oh. someone with complaints!"

So, what is left to talk about? Focus on you. What are your professional goals? How do you work? Where were these things misaligned in your job? Some examples (and the subtitles)

>"I found I had very little metrics, which made it difficult for me to determine where to prioritize work. I like to plan my workflow with purpose and have goals in mind." (SUBTITLE: I never know what my manager wants until they come screaming in to my office).
"When I manage projects, I am best at [area 1, area 2]. However, I found myself needing to build the infrastructure within [area 3] to be successful and it was spreading me too thin. I want to find a job where I can excel in my areas of expertise by coordinating with other departments" (SUBTITLE: I had to do my job AND 9 other peoples jobs)

Obviously you'll word them according to the right situations, but basically, use "I" statements to focus on what you had control over and how you worked. Then, focus on why seeking a new position is the right solution. If you do it right, the interviewer draws the conclusion you wanted them to draw without you saying a word. I did this once and the exchange went like this:

>INTERVIEWER: "Sounds like management wasn't supportive of your efforts? That must have been frustrating"
ME: "Oh. Perhaps. I just know that I prefer to have clear objectives to measure progress on. Once I have that, I can run independently on a project with a team. But periodically, having a way to check in on progress keeps things moving in the right direction".

It is no longer an argument about blame. It is an argument about values. How do your values differ from your past employers? Make sure you state this truly... and not cloak blame inside value

>i.e., "Well, their values are they are a terrible place to work and don't know how to treat employees" vs. "I'm looking for a place where I know I can progress in my work, achieve great things and be able to share that with a team".

Reading between the lines, I can get the sense that your old employer did NOT give you that. If they press, "And did you not get that in your past job?" Then you can stay diplomatic with a wink, "It has certainly been a motivating factor in finding a new job".

ALSO: I replied to a comment in there breaking down argument tense a little more.

>politicians do this best because they know their rhetorical devices. arguments fall in to three tenses:
>
>(1) Forensic, past-tense, aka 'blame' - who's fault is it? let's review the history...
>
>(2) Demonstrative, present-tense, aka 'value' - this is a politicians world because it gathers a sense of community and tribe. Convince someone on a values-based argument and they will vote for you or hire you
>
>(3) Deliberative, future-tense, aka 'choice' - this is an argument about making a decision. it is something you'll utilize in the workplace as it weighs options against each other. in an interview, you can't do that very well because you don't know what you are weighing yourself against. So, choose an argument (argument meaning position) that centers on values
>
>Source | I highly recommend this book for people entering management or environments where critical thinking, decision making and "office politics" will have a big presence

​

Here recommendation I saw on this sub a few days ago. This method will take a long time to finish, but it WILL find something for you.

If you are seriously unemployed, then finding a job should be your full-time job. 8-hours a day of working on your resume, writing letters, and submitting applications.

---

United States Bureau of Labor Statistics: Occupational Outlook Handbook. Go thru it. The ENTIRE thing. It is a list of effectively every single job title that is reported via payrolls.

You can find the full text on bls.gov, or if you prefer a book you can find print editions quite easily, and public libraries should have one on hand in their reference books section.

Read EVERY SINGLE summary. Note down every job description that looks interesting and/or you qualify for. You should end up with a couple dozen options.

Now take those ones you are interested and pair down your options until you have around a dozen job titles. Research into those titles extensively. How is the average salary? Experience needed? Growth prospects? Size of industry? Who are the major companies in those industries? How is the workplace? Is relocation normally covered? How do you get into that market?

If you honestly took the hours to do that research, then you should have a strong direction to look for.

You should be working a full-time work week searching for a job. Spend an hour or so on every application, try and customize your resume and cover letter to each specific company you apply for.

---

This is very much the brute force method of job searching, but it serves as a great answer to "I don't know what to do next."

Kudos to you for wanting to expand your horizons, and specifically looking at areas that companies and business owners often care about. It's good to read up on them, but to be honest they probably won't sink in unless you're dealing with those topics on a weekly or monthly basis. That said, if you need a resource, check out this book: http://www.amazon.com/Ten-Day-MBA-4th-Step---Step/dp/0062199579

Instead of trying to read it cover to cover, go have coffee with your boss or someone in finance. Try to see what the higher uppers care about this year. They may say profit, but is it revenue or cost? Or maybe it's market share? If your company is publicly traded, take a look at the income statements and then look up stuff you don't understand in the book or online. Pay attention to free cash flow, if a company is on the decline, the free cash flow can indicate how dire the situation is.

Ultimately what's most beneficial is to develop a good financial intuition: knowing what the company cares about, and knowing the implications to your department or your job.

I feel you, I hate those days. It really, really bugs me when I feel dismissed or ignored because of my position. Especially when our jobs give us so much visibility and insight that no one else there has!

What has helped me is leaning into online admin groups and resources. I'll try to find a few articles that gave me a better perspective and share later.

EDIT: OK BACK with some resources that have been very helpful for me lately!

"I Have Never Nor Will Ever Be A Subordinate" - OfficeNinjas - I was struggling for the first year in my current role (OM with added EA duties after hire) with insecurities about how powerless I felt in my role as admin, etc but this article was the beginning of reshaping my mindset. Also, OfficeNinjas runs some "Admingling" networking events in the US. I went to one and truthfully, I'm not sure how practical it was but it was nice to meet other admin types and expense the ticket to my company for the free drinks and food. :)

​

From there, I have been looking into other leadership resources. How To Lead When You're Not in Charge was recommended in an EA group. Just warning that the author writes a lot of Christian perspective throughout his points (this caught me by surprise) but his insights still hit nicely.

​

I also found Facebook groups surprisingly helpful! I'm in State of the Office Manager and State of the Executive Assistant and while there's a LOT of fluff content, it's very nice to see that admin struggles are the nature of the position. Before, I would get down on myself believing that if I were just "better", things would be better so it's been healthy to commiserate with a peer group. Especially since a lot of us are the only admins in smaller offices. OrgOrg is another group that can help with figuring out policies, catering issues, etc.

​

Hopefully, some of this helps. I really, really, really feel the same frustration when you're busting your ass to create other peoples' successes in the org and you never feel the appreciation come back, or you're still perceived as "just a secretary".

​

If anyone else has more resources/books/groups to share, I'm all ears! Are there any Discord channels out there for admins? Could we make one?

Listen to them more than you talk. A lot of young interviewers tend to not know how to direct the interview, panic, and just ramble about benefits and job duties. At the end you have no idea about that person's work or experience, you'll just know vaguely if you get along with them. Kind of.

So ask a question and calmly wait for the answer.

Psychologically, most people respond to diagonal seating best, as opposed to sitting directly across from them.

Another big thing- ask a question, then a deeper question, then a deeper one. "Can you describe a time you gave great customer service?" ... "What about that experience stuck with you the most?" ..."If you were in a future similar scenario, is there something you would have done different?"
--Most people will have an automatic response to the first, but the second and third can really teach you a lot about the person.

But to be honest, if this is retail, what you should be looking for mostly includes ability, longevity, and personality. If they are competent to do the job, will stay more than a few short months and don't have a finicky schedule, and have the right characteristics for solid customer service, everything should pan out. Chipotle has an amazing list of "13 characteristics" for hiring in their stores. Since I really adapted them (y'know, when I worked there), I've never really hired a "bad" employee.

Skills can be taught, personality can't.

edit: Book recommendation, it's been pretty useful to me- The Truth About Managing People

I have three pieces of advice for you after reading your entire post.

1. This is the most important one - Read this book (and do the activities) by SriKumar Rao, it can and will change your life. Note it's also available in an audiobook format: https://www.amazon.com/Are-YOU-Ready-Succeed-Unconventional/dp/1503318109
   
   He also has authored other books that I would recommend but start with this one.
   
   
2. You listed three bullets of options you thought you had, I can tell by reading them definitely don't do number two about doubling down. It won't work. More on this in the aforementioned book.
   
   
3. If you do want to start a business may I recommend starting an AirBnb. It's still a niche market with relatively easy startup, the biggest hurdle for most is the ability to acquire a piece of real estate they can rent. If you can get that it's a great business to run and doesn't require as high a bar of entrepreneurial skills as most others since the company AirBnb takes on a lot of the work for you (like the marketing piece and finding customers).
   
   Best of luck. Read the book!

You need to write! Write and write. It’s a discipline. Sit down every day and write. Get published. Write more.

Use your job to save up and purchase your own computer, a copy of Final Draft and The Hollywood Standard. And don't forget a Mission Impossible leather jacket hoodie to wear while you're writing. :)

Start a movie review blog. Write articles for IMDb or Rotten Tomatoes. Join or create a screenwriter's group in your area. That's what sites like Meetup.com are for. Review each other's work on a monthly basis. That kind of thing is great for motivation and camaraderie but at the end of the day you still have to sit down and write until you have a product to pass along to those who would buy, publish or produce it. Copywrite all your work.

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.”
― Margaret Atwood

We all have to do that job of just getting the bills paid until we work our way over to what we enjoy. You need to build up a small portfolio of your own writing you can share to score that creative writing job. Or a portfolio of screenplays to start getting leverage for a writing contract, etc. Watch Limitless again and remind yourself, you already know what to do and how to do it. Good luck!

Highly recommended reading- Buy-In by John Kotter

It's an excellent read for anyone interested in the practical application of psychology & sociology knowledge in the business realm.

http://www.kotterinternational.com/book/buy-in/

Economics reading - Freakonomics

This was required reading in my Leadership course (for my MBA), with good reason.

https://www.amazon.com/Freakonomics-Economist-Explores-Hidden-Everything/dp/0060731338

You are on a path towards higher management and leadership.

From this point forward, the answer to the questions "do you think I made a good decision signing up for the post-graduate studies? Will potential employers look at it and consider this diploma as worthy?" will forever more be a resounding YES!!!!

High quality post graduate certifications, higher degrees, and continuously striving to learn, be better, & adapt to an ever changing business environment are hallmarks of those who are successful (& expected/required of those who are considered for higher level positions) in the business/management realms.

Edit: look for a post graduate course on leadership. If your employer is large enough, they may have an agreement with a respected University to offer discounts or special classes to their employees, & may even offer classes onsite. Sign up for them!

Meetings. Lots of meetings. My main responsibility is to analyze the business process for a particular aspect of a company's operations and see how IT systems can improve it. So I'll first interview a number of employees, from worker bees to executives. Then create diagrams and data models to document the abstract and functional business process. Finally I work with the development teams to design the IT system supporting that process. You have to enjoy figuring out how things work, getting into the details of what data gets passed around. Also meeting facilitation, a lot of group discussions on how to improve things. I started as a developer, moved to architect, then requirements gathering, and combined all that into becoming a Business architect. The most valuable skill I bring is an ability to gather and understand how both IT systems work and how business processes work. I mostly specialize in commerce, order management, and payment systems.

A lot of my job is relationships. Meeting people on the business and asking what they hate about how something works. Being interested in a developer's baby they created and how it works. Always asking questions and documenting. A lot of 30 minute conversations at happy hour result in a user story that saves a person hours of time at their job.

One tip I give all my BA's is don't just know what your system is supposed to do. Also learn how the other systems work too. When you know how all the other systems work, you can better understand how to fit your software into the overall ecosystem. You also are building those relationships to other development teams that come in very handy later.

Here's my favorite book on writing user stories to get you started. User Stories Applied: For Agile Software Development

Ah, you're a lady. I've noticed that women tend to be a little more wary of coming off as pushy or greedy when asking for a raise, but asking for what you deserve is not greedy at all. If anything, your manager has been greedy for not offering you a raise already when you clearly deserve it, but can you blame him? Right now you're a bargain.

Rather than just saying, "about that raise", I suggest you confidently ask for a particular amount. Your friend makes 25k more than you right, and you think you are equally qualified? Then by all means ask for 25k, and do it with confidence. At this point you have proven your worth and you are not going to be easy to replace.

I've had to coach my own wife to ask for a raise more than once and she's always surprised when it works. I don't want to give you an excuse to put this off any longer... but I found this book useful before asking for a raise, Bargaining for Advantage: Negotiation Strategies for Reasonable People, but really all it's going to tell you is to figure out what you can reasonably ask for, and then to ask for it with confidence.

> I'd probably weigh that advice more than "random internet comments" considering that this subreddit is used for job search advice and help

True, very true.

> You come off as brash, cocky, entitled, and overall, not very humble.

See...I still, I don't know. I really, truly am not those things to the extent that I come across here. Hell, I've had a bunch of people praise me for being humble in real life (which is a bit ironic). So...I don't know.

> I don't know if it's a good idea for you, but what helped me reduce my cockiness was reading Dale Carnegie's "How to win friends and influence people". You may think that this book would make you even more cocky by title alone, but after I read it the first time, I learned which of my actions came off as cocky, annoying, and off-putting. I applied what I learned and became a much better person than I was before. The book focuses not on the "How" so much as the "Why". That's also what you should focus on so that you can change yourself- "Why did these events unfold as they did and How can I become more like that?" The book is very applicable to your interest in the business world, so please take the time to read it.

I've been meaning to read that book for awhile, so it's nice to see a recommendation for it here.

I also recently bought a book titled The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism, which hopefully will help me as well.

Start with Secrets to Winning Office Politics.

I also like Dealing With People You Can't Stand.

Do not read these at work!