Reddit mentions of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill

A mirror, for instance, will reflect both angry faces and smiling ones. The very quality of the mirror allows countless images to arise, yet none of them belongs to the mirror. In fact, if the angry face were intrinsic to the mirror, it could be seen at all times and would prevent other images from arising. Similarly, the most fundamental qualify of cognition, the luminous quality of the mind, is what allows the arising of thoughts and underlies all of them. Yet none of these thoughts belongs intrinsically to the fundamental nature of the mind. The experience of introspection shows, on the contrary, that the negative emotions are transitory mental events that can be obliterated by their opposites, the positive emotions, acting as antidotes.

excerpt of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard.

I'm that to try to convey that you need not be disgusted with yourself. Your thoughts are not you. You just are, and that's that.

Are you eating some whole natural food? Exercising a bit? Getting some sunlight? These things can't cure every depression, but I have a hunch that many mental health issues are rooted in poor nutrition.

If you fell and broke your arm, would you go to the hospital? Mental health is more invisible, but just as legitimate.

It seems that you're finding yourself feeling purposeless and empty. This is generally indicative of a lack or purpose and something that makes you feel satisfied. (That's deep analysis, I know.)

The answer to this situation cannot come from outside of you. The ways other people fill their free time is mostly irrelevant to the fact that you don't feel a deep connection to the things you're doing with yours. The fact that I write in my free time doesn't mean that it'll feel the least bit meaningful as an activity for you.

It's also relevant to consider that your sense of happiness and satisfaction come as much from how you're doing any particular activity as what it is. Two people can be doing the exact same thing, one finding it a miserable slog, the other finding it a true delight. You can only rely on your preferences and your ability to enjoy whatever it is you're doing, everything else is irrelevant.

If you'd like to find greater joy in your life right now, I'd encourage you to take some time to slow down and look at all you've got. See all the things you enjoy but don't even notice. Things like settling into bed after a long day, like waking up before your alarm and getting to get 20 more minutes of sleep, like that first bite of your favorite food. Also consider how fucking awesome your life is. Seriously, 200 years ago you wouldn't have had the luxury of encountering your problem. More than half of the people in the world today don't have the luxury of your problem, etc. Seriously, we can easily lose track of it, but I feel pretty certain that if you have the resources to spend time on Reddit, you're better off than probably 99% of the people that have ever been alive.

I feel like I spent about five years in something resembling the state you describe. I was varying degree of lost, confused, uncertain, and unhappy. No single book, nor person, nor idea is powerful enough to snap you permanently out of it. It comes down to your facing your issues, evaluating them honestly, and taking the steps necessary to get meaning back into your life.

This book helped me a lot. So did keeping a file of quotations I stumbled across that really resonated with me. So did trying new things and seeing what I liked, and didn't. So did doing my best to see what was good about the current situation and facing it with my full attention.

I hope some of this was helpful.

I'm glad to help. In that case I suggest also reading Happiness by Matthieu Ricard and The Four Immeasurables by Alan Wallace.

A little background: the four immeasurables are four virtues that according to Buddhist traditions you can train without limitation (that's why they are called "immeasurables"). They are these:

• Loving-kindness: "the wish that all sentient beings, without any exception, be happy"
  
  
• Compassion: "the wish for all sentient beings to be free from suffering". It is the other side of the coin of loving-kindness.
  
  
• Equanimity: "not to distinguish between friend, enemy or stranger, but regard every sentient being as equal". Note that this doesn't mean that you will love your family only as much as you love a stranger. It simply says that you accept every person as equal in dignity and respect.
  
  
• Altruistic joy: "is the wholesome attitude of rejoicing in the happiness and virtues of all sentient beings". In other words, to feel joy when you see something good happened to somebody else.
  
  Ignore their Buddhist context if you want. Just follow the simple meditation techniques that cultivate them; I'm sure you will find they are compatible with your existing faith (or lack of it).
  

A great talk by a great man. His book, "Happiness" is also excellent.

Has anyone read his book, which was mentioned in the article? http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258

I would suggest some reading or youtubing on meditation. Matthieu Ricard is great for this sort of thing.

Matthieu Ricard on happiness/meditation:

• TED talk
  
• Book

www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258

I took isolation to an extreme degree. I just did everything wrong, had the worst predispositions and behaviors, for achieving happiness, flourishing/properly developing as a person, attaining a sense of fulfillment:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Happiness-Hypothesis-Finding-Ancient/dp/0465028020
http://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258

Unfortunately I'm not exaggerating. Unsurprisingly, giving realistic answers, I score near the maximum on symptoms of depression, minimum for fulfillment/satisfaction with life/flourishing and lasting/general happiness.

The shattering point was when I had driven myself to full isolation and took a shroom trip; something I had extensively researched, having first grown them at age 17/18 with information from the shroomery, although at the time I had no desire to consume them, and was using for personal development/introspection, to see if there could be anything gained from the experience, or just the enjoyment of it, something so far from ordinary reality. It was mild, and I don't blame it for what occurred, it only brought things to the surface. It was a recurring theme in the past, I was really trying desperately to find an alternative to the need for relationships, people in my life, denying there was a problem. I was confronted with an accepted how unhappy I was and that I was never going to be happy like this. This lead to a depressive spiral.

That's just an overview, it really isn't relevant to the vast majority of people. I am a psychological trainwreck, an abnormality, aberration.

1. it brings truth
   
   
2. because what happens to you has almost nothing to do with your internal state of mind (or very little). it's all how you perceive your reality. you are as you think. to see this you need meditation.
   
   
3. meditation is mind training. it is only part of the puzzle.
   https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258
   
   
4. refer to 3
   

Autogenerated.

[Senior, read over a year ago] I have read some introductory books on Buddhist Philosophy: The Book of Joy, Monk and the Philosopher and Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill. AMA.

I'm not religious and I read these books to get a glimpse of Buddhist philosophy and understand how they see life. I guess I've been searching my self in these books. I'm NOT an expert but these books have affected my life to this day (read them about a year ago).

Since then, I have read books like Man's Search For Meaning and Destructive Emotions.

I'll try my best to answer any question, but I don't mind if other "seniors" will answer as well! That would make the discussion much richer actually.

Books in question:
The Book of Joy (https://www.amazon.com/Book-Joy-Lasting-Happiness-Changing/dp/0399185046)
The Monk and the Philosopher (https://www.amazon.com/Monk-Philosopher-Father-Discuss-Meaning-ebook/dp/B004KABESI/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1523017368&sr=1-1&keywords=monk+and+the+philosopher)
Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill (https://www.amazon.com/Happiness-Guide-Developing-Lifes-Important/dp/0316167258)


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