(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best christian men issues books

I feel you man. It is definitely hard when you start a new chapter in your life and you have a lot of things to focus your attention on other than church/God.

Not to sound calloused, but being someone who was raised in a baptist church, I totally know what it feels like to just "go through the motions". Now is the point in time in your life that you will have to question your beliefs and start forming your own. That's what I am in the process of doing right now.

That said, I am slowly finding that everything I was originally taught growing up in a baptist church I am inclined to believe. There are still a lot of unanswered questions, but the bible has a lot of history behind it. Apparently, there's enough evidence to strongly suggest that Jesus did exist, but the big question is of course whether or not he was the son of God. In that case, Jesus was either a crazy liar, or he was who he said he was. All things considered, I find it easier to believe that Jesus was telling the truth.

Just straight up reading the bible can be hard. For me, it's hard to know where to begin, and I don't really feel like I've made any real "progress" after I get done reading if I just pick it up and read for a few minutes or so. Recently, however, I've been going through a great book called [Disciplines of a Godly Man}9http://www.amazon.com/Disciplines-Godly-Anniversary-Complete-Study/dp/1581342861) and writing down the questions and answers at the end of each chapter. It is a way for me to quantify my progress and my growth, and I actually feel like I'm getting closer to God and closer to the man that I want to become.

I don't think that there's a lot of value in reading the bible from front to back just for the sake of reading the bible. I think it's much more useful and productive if you have a goal in mind, and for me, it's becoming a more Godly man. That book follows scripture very closely, so I keep my bible close by to read along with it. I don't think you should just read books, but I think that a good book that references scripture frequently can be a valuable tool in one's growth.

I told my dad this when I was 18 and he was very awkward about it. I totally get the fear of talking to the man who raised you about something you are ashamed about. That's a massive step in getting better!


If I can offer a few ideas

The acronym H.A.L.T.S. stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tried, Stressed

These are the common triggers for wanting to looking at porn.

I also recommend these two books

Falling Forward

This is semi expensive but very very worth every penny

Get Naked

The title is supposed to bother you. I know the author and wrote this many years ago, but he is intense. Very very very sober and free.

http://www.imanalive.com/

This is the most powerful men's group I have ever seen (I relapsed but and back on the horse) and they will definitely help you. The most impressive group of men I have ever known.

OK, there's two books I recommend for you. http://www.amazon.com/The-Game-Plan-Attaining-Integrity/dp/0849906334 Joe Dallas is a walking talking miracle IMO. He's done some great things with his life.

Also http://www.amazon.com/Every-Mans-Battle-Winning-Temptation/dp/0307457974/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1458108893&sr=1-3&keywords=every+man%27s+battle

This one is really good too.

Age: 47

Currently reading:

Diary of Saint Maria Faustina Kowalska: Divine Mercy in My Soul

The Cold Dish: A Longmire Mystery

The Cook's Herb Garden

Mary: The Church At The Source

Interests: running, bicycling, bikepacking, travel, dogs, religion.

Masculine Mandate by Richard D Phillips
Manhood Restored by Eric Msaon
Family Shepherds and Family Driven Faith by Voddie Baucham
Shepherding a Child's Heart by Tedd Tripp

'Finishing Strong: Going the Distance for Your Family' by Steve Farrar

I read it because of a mens church small group I was in. It's the only non-fiction book I've ever given to my friends to read.

https://www.amazon.com/Finishing-Strong-Going-Distance-Family/dp/1576737268/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1525368660&sr=8-1&keywords=finishing+strong+steve+farrar

>What I'd like to find is some biblical Resources, sermons, passages, scripture, discussion, or anything that describes and advises on masculinity that doesn't center around marriage.

Here's some man books I've read that don't center on marriage and are good. Given your non-denominational background, I'd imagine these books are books which have been read by people in your congregation. I read this as part of a biblical masculinity class I took at my church before even dating my wife.

• Tender Warrior by Stu Weber
  
• Six Battles Every Man Must Win by Bill Perkins
  
  Those offer a good biblical treatment to counterbalance the "you're not a man until you're married" line.

I read a little book called Biblical Manhood once. Found it on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Guide-Biblical-Manhood-Randy-Stinson/dp/0615469426/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1465011079&sr=8-2&keywords=biblical+manhood

I think I remember it being a fairly encouraging little read.

This book is religious (not my thing), but it was given to me as I didn't have a dad during my teen years. I found the concepts really helpful.

You Have What It Takes

I'm reading a book right now called "Why Men Hate Going to Church" (because my dad read it and wanted me to read it so we can talk about it. It's made for some interesting discussions.). The basis for the book is that much of the reason the many men don't go to church (or don't like going there) is that much of church is suited more for the stereotypical woman than for the stereotypical man (the author doesn't use the words stereotypical) with the music styles, more touchy-feely aspects to the service, lecture style preaching, etc. Some of the ways the author recommends making church more "man friendly" is for the pastor to use very concrete examples, possibly with props; to make things more visual and to use humor. Perhaps this pastor has read this book and is using the ideas within it to try to make the church more "man friendly".

Get this book...you’ve burned out. Please read!

Reset: Living a Grace-Paced Life in a Burnout Culture https://www.amazon.com/dp/1433555182/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_896QAbJBEMZN0

The answer you seek can be found (but not limited to)here, here, and here.

Not exactly sleep but on a slightly related topic of ministry and burnout:

Zeal Without Burnout by Christopher Ash: https://www.amazon.com/Zeal-without-Burnout-Christopher-Ash/dp/1784980218

Reset by David Murray: https://www.amazon.com/Reset-Living-Grace-Paced-Burnout-Culture/dp/1433555182

https://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Was-Airborne-Ranger-Following/dp/1601426925

Take a very careful look at the ratio of men and women at your community events. It is common for the ratio to be 55% women and 45% men. Until that ratio is correct to be much closer to 50/50, your community won't grow.

Source: Christian Denomination Growth rates by % Gender. Any denomination over 60% is losing #'s, and under 60% is stable, and the only denominations that grow are almost exactly at 50%.

Religious culture in North america is very female oriented, and thus, suffers generally from lack of male participation.

Read: Why Men Hate Going to Church 2nd Edition. Much of it is relevant.

The role of a warrior is to kill the enemy on the battlefield. If Chief G did what is alleged in this article, he should be prosecuted. This, sadly, is not an isolated incident for the US military in the GWOT and there are reasons this is happening.

At Mighty Oaks we talk about why this is happening because we end up dealing with the aftermath of it. I like to frame this issue in terms of Mind-Body-Spirit balance as it explains a lot about the differences between us and the islamic enemy. Comparing these variables in the context of warfare is useful.

Mind: Education, training, access to intelligence information, technical proficiency: US wins easily
Body: Fitness, nutrition, PPE, access to medical care/rehabilitation, access to supporting arms (CAS, arty, tanks, etc.) : US has overwhelming dominance.
Spirit: Willingness to kill/die, societal level support of the mission, recognition of the spiritual aspect of war, explicit religious motivation: Muj easily wins.

You might say, "So what?" Well, we are 17+ years into this conflict and despite our massive dominance in Mind/Body, we remain unable to defeat/demoralize this enemy and we have fought them to a stalemate at best.

Looking at the Spirit variable:

Willingness to kill: Our guys are willing to kill the enemy on the battlefield, but the enemy is willing to murder women and children, set people on fire, lop off heads, and throw gays off of buildings.
Willingness to die: Our guys are willing (in many instances) to sacrifice their lives to save their comrades, but the muj are willing to kill themselves only as a means of killing many of us.
Societal level support: US civilian support for the GWOT is a mile wide but an inch deep while muj are fighting for their actual homeland.
Spiritual warfare/religious motivation: US forces are largely completely ignorant of the spiritual aspects of war and there is no discernible religious motivation for our end of the conflict, but Spiritual Resilience is essentially the entire strategy of the muj and their leaders frame the conflict explicitly as a holy war.

What is the Spiritual aspect of war? When the decision to take a life or to offer one's own life is made, this is a Spiritual transaction. The Mind/Body are part of the execution, but in the final analysis, this decision is a Spiritual one due to the finality and gravity of the outcome. At the societal level (West vs Islam) there are a very different set of parameters in place that "govern" what is acceptable conduct in war. The West (like it or not) has its foundation in Judeo/Christian ideals in the sense that our laws and culture are heavily influenced by this construct which acts as a restraint on behavior, meanwhile, a muj can take a cell phone video of lopping off a dude's head and show it to their kids certain that they will be seen as a hero. Underlying all of our massive Mind/Body advantages, is a real Spiritual insecurity because our guys are left to wonder how it is that we have all of this firepower, training, and discipline and yet the enemy seems unintimidated by this and is seemingly willing to throw their lives away in the pursuit of killing us.

Add to that the barbarity and cruelty that the muj are more than willing to commit in pursuit of their goals and we have a situation where our guys become disgusted, hateful, and subsequently resort to vengeance at times as a reaction. This Spiritual "hole" our warriors have is often filled with affiliation to Vikings, Apaches (Red Team), Spartans, Centurions, etc. Whatever rudimentary understanding our guys have of these ancient warrior cultures (authentic or not), the historic brutality of these cultures is used by our warriors to gird them against the very obvious Spiritual advantage the enemy clearly has. And it makes our guys vulnerable to shit like what Chief G is accused of.

99% of the time, these instances of US forces crossing the line is known only to the individual or the members of the unit and is not reported. That's fine (Spiritually) while deployed or working in a military context with plenty of fellow warriors around, but it has profound consequences down the road when the warrior is no longer serving, isolated from comrades, and alone. We hear from our students all the time that, "If my family knew what I did over there, they'd think I was a monster." Setting aside the war crimes aspect of this, these warriors cannot ever speak of these things once they are out, and most never discuss them when they are in the service because they are violations of our deepest cultural norms (and also illegal). So these guys, who know they have done something unjustifiable, are left to simmer with this understanding and it causes a lot of problems in their lives. Substance abuse, domestic violence, divorce, bad financial decisions, separation from children, etc. are debilitating outflows from a real and seemingly unaddressable Spiritual crisis.

Returning to my initial statement, our warriors are taking the enemy's barbaric actions personally and it is tainting their motivation to do their job as killers on the battlefield. Killing the enemy does not have to be personal (although it is very difficult when brothers are lost in battle), and it is the lack of understanding regarding the Spiritual aspects of warfare that is responsible for this. I have gone on too long here already, but if you want to read an incredible work on this, go buy Ephraim Mattos' book City of Death about the Free Burma Rangers in the battle against ISIS in Mosul.