(Part 2) Reddit mentions: The best christian personal growth books

I understand where you are coming from, and the point of this post was not to convince you that God exists, but to explain how a Christian that believes in the bible can honestly believe that all other religions are false and why that would make sense to them.

For the first point, God did imbue his followers with something that they can easily prove insurmountable to those forces, and that is the Holy Spirit. All other spirits bow to the name of Jesus and the followers of Jesus have power over them because of this. I have seen this first hand, but I cannot ask a stranger who has not witnessed this to believe that.

It is not consistent in other religions because they are lead astray by many different demons that all have their own will. They are doing a good job of keeping most of the world in the dark, but there are hundreds of millions of Christians in the world and God knows that not everyone will believe in Him.

I quoted the bible simply to show that Christianity can explain all other religions. If you do not believe in any religion then that doesn't really matter to you, lol.

Now there are many reasons why I think you should believe in Jesus but what you accept or not is up to you. Have you ever studied anatomy or genetics? I think it takes more faith to believe that random molecules just came together for no reason to form life on this earth, and from what we know scientifically just here. If you study physics and quantum physics you will realize how little how greatest minds really even understand the basic laws of our universe. Science has no answer that can explain why we exist, why the universe exist, or many other things, but Christianity does. If you study genetics and anatomy you can see the brilliant design and engineering the God of the universe has. If you believe in Christianity you know why the universe and all its laws were created, and know that you exist for a purpose. If there is no God you are a pointless collection of molecules floating through space on a rock making no impact on the universe. Your life is brief and pointless and exist for no purpose. Understanding Christianity helps you understand so many things and gives you hope and a purpose, because you actually have one! We are made up of neutrons, electrons, and protons, and those are made up of quarks. The God of the universe created all energy and matter in the universe, all of it. With enough power you can rearrange those atoms into whatever configuration you want. It is scientifically possible that with enough controlled energy you could form a person from the molecules of dust by rearranging the atoms. We are just made of atoms, which are energy. With a God of unimaginable energy anything is possible, including not being restricted by the force of time. The Christian God is not restricted by time and can exist at all points at the same time. This is a very hard concept for humans to comprehend which is why concepts like the trinity, and God knowing your actions before you make them, and how He reacts because of that, it so hard to understand. Understanding the concept and mechanics of time helps you understand how God operates. There is so much proof and testimony out there about why the Christian God is real if you wanted to find proof you could. I could go on and on about so many of these topics but there is not time for all of this!

If you want some basic proof that you can trust in Christianity read The evidence for Christianity https://www.amazon.com/Evidence-Christianity-Josh-McDowell/dp/1418506281.

There are many people who can all testify that God is real and have seen it, but that is what other people. There is a book that just came out called The Case for Miracles. https://www.amazon.com/Case-Miracles-Journalist-Investigates-Supernatural/dp/0310259185. There is evidence there but if you don't want to believe it you can always find a reason not to.

I shared my testimony on this post so you can see why I believe. I believe because it is rational, scientific, and I have see multiple proofs for myself. If you cannot find it I can share it again.

I love Christianity because our God is actually real and still at work today. I believe because I have encountered him multiple times in supernatural experiences, and I am not alone in this. Many people encounter God, and it is something that I really want more people to see, so they can have something real to believe in, and not just the words of another person. Look at what the apostle Paul actually had to say about that:

1 Corinthians 2 New American Standard Bible (NASB)

Paul’s Reliance upon the Spirit
2 And when I came to you, brethren, I did not come with superiority of speech or of wisdom, proclaiming to you the [a]testimony of God. 2 For I determined to know nothing among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. 3 I was with you in weakness and in fear and in much trembling, 4 and my [b]message and my preaching were not in persuasive words of wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5 so that your faith would not [c]rest on the wisdom of men, but on the power of God.

6 Yet we do speak wisdom among those who are mature; a wisdom, however, not of this age nor of the rulers of this age, who are passing away; 7 but we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the hidden wisdom which God predestined before the ages to our glory; 8 the wisdom which none of the rulers of this age has understood; for if they had understood it they would not have crucified the Lord of glory; 9 but just as it is written,

“Things which eye has not seen and ear has not heard,
And which have not entered the heart of man,
All that God has prepared for those who love Him.”

10 [d]For to us God revealed them through the Spirit; for the Spirit searches all things, even the depths of God. 11 For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God. 12 Now we have received, not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God, 13 which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, [e]combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.

14 But [f]a natural man does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually [g]appraised. 15 But he who is spiritual appraises all things, yet he himself is appraised by no one. 16 For who has known the mind of the Lord, that he will instruct Him? But we have the mind of Christ.

Christianity spread because God showed His power by the Holy Spirit, not by mere words or philosophy alone. I am not with you but just online so words are all I have, but I hope it makes you want to seek more. Seek a Charismatic Christian Church and you are likely to see a miracle first hand. There are many Christians that do not believe in the power of God and are more comfortable just learning about Him, so you will not find miracles in many churches, especially not the Catholic or Orthodox church.

I will also share with you what I gain by being a Christian. I know I am loved by the God of the universe with a love greater than any person on this Earth could have for me. I know my God is with me always and will never forsake me. I know I have a purpose and I have no reason to fear. I do not fear death or the opinion of other people. I know I can trust in my God and He will never let me down. I can see how science fits together explain the hand of my God and his universe. I can love others without wanting gain because God loved me first. I do not judge others so that I am not judged myself. I know my human life on this Earth is just a very small sliver of my existence. If I lived to be 120 years old my whole life would not even be a the first page in the story of my life when I will be raised by God and given an immortal body and live in a paradise. This life is only a brief test, and all injustice will be righted. I have freedom in Christ and know that His sacrifice earned my place with God, and not anything that I did or will do. I know I do not have to continually work to appease God or earn my way to anything. I live my life for Christ because of my love for Him and want to follow His teachings so I can be more like him, not to earn anything or avoid any punishment. God has told me many things that will happen in my life, and some of it has already come true. Prophecy in peoples lives is real and one of the gifts of the spirit. I can have peace and happiness regardless of where I live, how much money I have, or how other people treat me. I seek to impress no one and live free. Everything I have is not for me only, but for anyone who truly seeks God and gives their life to him. I want others to share in my joy which is why I share my beliefs and experiences.
I hope this makes some sort of sense, lol!

I made some edits for spelling and grammer. It is hard to proof read the small little reply window.

Hi /u/iwillyes, I'm glad you're here! Let me start by talking a bit about what the Reformed tradition of Christianity is.

The Reformed Tradition is a branch of Protestant Christianity that developed during the Reformation in Switzerland, Scotland, France and the low countries. John Calvin was (and is) the most influential theologian in the Reformed tradition. While we share many similarities with Anglicans, Baptists and Lutherans we are usually seen as a distinct strand. We disagree on the meaning of both Baptism and the Eucharist, for example (in both regards Lutherans are closer to Catholics). Pentecostals and Anabaptist are quite different.

In terms of what makes the Reformed different from other Protestant groups, I love this quote by Cornelius Plantinga:

>>Our accents lie more on the sovereignty of God, on the authority of Scripture, on the need for disciplined holiness in personal Christian life, and finally, on Christianity as a religion of the Kingdom.

That emphasis on the sovereignty of God over all things is in my mind what most clearly distinguishes the reformed tradition. Part of that is understanding God to be sovereign in salvation - what is commonly known as the five points of Calvinism. Basically we believe that because of we are dead in our sin, man is utterly unable to do anything to save himself - even unable to turn to God. It is only through God's grace of drawing us to him that we are able to have the faith that saves us. This means that we contribute nothing to our own salvation - it is entirely a work of God.

In the U.S. there are two main groups of Reformed churches: Presbyterians (the Scottish Reformed) and the Dutch Reformed. Historically Scottish Reformed have put a bit more emphasis on personal piety (the Puritans are part of this group) while the Dutch Reformed have put slightly more emphasis on declaring the Lordship of Christ over all creation. But, we are very, very similar. The Reformed tradition is a deeply confessional one. We hold to historic documents that describe what we understand scripture to teach on a wide range of matters. The Presbyterians hold to the Westminster Confession of Faith and the Dutch Reformed hold to the Three Forms of Unity. While different documents, the two sets of confessions essentially teach the same doctrine.

In terms of churches the large (100k+ members) Presbyterian denominations in the US are the Presbyterian Church (USA), the Presbyterian Chrurch in America. the Evangelical Presbyterian Church, and ECO: A Covenant Order of Presbyterians. The PC(USA) is a more "liberal" church while the others are more "conservative" to varying degrees. The two large Dutch Reformed denominations are the Reformed Church in America and the Christian Reformed Church. There are also many smaller Presbyterian and Reformed denominations. Many of them are part of the North American Presbyterian and Reformed Council.

What complicates things a bit is that in recent years, many Christians in other traditions have started using "reformed" to mean they have a Calvinistic view of salvation, even if they don't fit into the broader reformed tradition in other ways. You will find a lot of Baptists who have a Calvinistic view of salvation, but not of the sacraments or the church, for example. This sub tends to attract both the more conservative branch of the Reformed tradition as well as those who just have a Calvinistic view of salvation.

In terms of books, my number one recommendation for you is Letters to a Young Calvinist: An Invitation to the Reformed Tradition by Jamie Smith. It's a quick easy read best digested in small parts. It does a great job of providing an overview of the Reformed tradition that is accessible, theological, and pastoral. It's aimed at those who have a 'come-to-Calvin' moment from within other theological traditions (Smith was pentecostal), but would benefit everyone.

Also read through some of the Reformed Confessions. The best place to start is with the Heidelberg Catechim and the Belgic Confession. If you want a more modern approach, I'd encourage you to also read the Christian Reformed Church's Contemporary Testimony Our World Belongs To God, too.

Other good "intro" level books:

• Reformed: What It Means, Why It Matters by Bob DeMoor. This is more of a booklet that a full book. It'd be a great option for a newcomers class at church.
  
  
• Deep Down Faith by Cornelius Plantinga. This one is a devotional aimed at young adults, but an excellent explanation of Reformed Faith.
  
  
• Chosen by God by R.C. Sproul. This is the book that made me a Calvinist. Best explanation and defense of TULIP out there. Sproul's The Holiness of God is anothe excellent choice, as are all of his books.
  
  
• Calvinism in the Las Vegas Airport: Making Connections in Today's World by Richard Mouw. Another book focused on TULIP. This one's goal is to show how the doctrines of Grace affect the way we live out our lives and correcting common misunderstandings about Calvinism.
  
  
  Once you feel ready for higher level stuff, I recommend:
  
  
• Reformed Theology by Michael Allen. If you want a book that covers the breadth of Reformed Theology at a deep level than Smith or DeMoor, this is for you (think intro college level).
  
  
• Reformed Catholicity: The Promise of Retrieval for Theology and Biblical Interpretation by Michael Allen and Scott Swain. This book is a clarion call: “to be Reformed means to go deeper into true catholicity, not to move away from catholicity.” A must read.
  
  
• Reformed Dogmatics (Abridged) by Herman Bavink. My appreciation for Bavink grows every time I read him. This abridged version is much cheaper and more accessible than the full four volume edition.
  
  
• Calvin: Institutes of the Christian Religion by John Calvin. This one needs no explanation. Get this one if you want to splurge for a nice reference edition, the Beveridge Translation is available for much less (and free online).
  

I'm suggesting that if these people earnestly believe that they are Christians, and that their behaviors should be guided by the words and ideals of Jesus, then showing them exactly what Jesus said may help you convince them that you being an atheist doesn't mean they have to lose their daughter.

I think you've misunderstood my point. I'm an atheist. The Biblical Jesus espouses a certain set of values, which to my mind, liberal Christians make an effort to adhere to most closely. Conservative fundamentalists instead focus on narrow, literalist interpretations that favor moralism and conformity over the values Jesus promoted.

The point is not that they are not Christian; it's that if they fail to accept you and continue to love you, their behavior would not be Christian, it fall short of the ideals they supposedly value.

The fundamentalist mindset as I see it is this:
-Christians (like us) are Good People.
-People who aren't Christians (like us) are not Good People.
-Those who claim to be Christians but aren't like us (eg. tolerance of gays, talking about love instead of God's Almighty Wrath) are the ones that aren't Real Christians
-Non-Christians are Sinners who must be Saved by getting in their face and intimidating them into becoming Christians (like us)
-Non-Christians who cannot be Turned are servants of Satan who must be shunned and rejected, as they are a threat to our social order and values. (Interacting with them may cause us to question our beliefs)

While a more liberal Christian mindset may be more like this:
-People who act out of compassion and love are Good People
-Christians are taught to be good people by embracing Jesus' messages of peace, love, and forgiveness
-Non-Christians who are Good People should be treated as equals with respect. If they can be gently convinced to believe, great; if not, they shouldn't be forced.
-Those who call themselves Christians but are motivated out of fear and intolerance of anyone different, are Missing The Point.

The reason that your family would react to your coming out with hostility, anger, and either try to force you back into their beliefs or punish you for rejecting their beliefs by forcing you out, is because they are much more concerned with maintaining social orthodoxy than expressing the values demonstrably held by Jesus.

My point here, is that by showing them what Jesus actually said, and making a case that intolerance and hatred of those who are different is decidedly un-Christian, while love, tolerance, and acceptance are among the highest ideals espoused by Jesus (for which you can provide scriptural evidence) you can convince them that rejecting you or being intolerant of your views is not the truly Christian thing to do.

It's the Born Again Christians, the evangelicals and fundamentalists, who see atheists very negatively:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/amer_intol.htm

The same groups view themselves as Christian, but not others.
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_defn.htm

This is a summary of the split between liberal and conservative Christian views:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/chr_divi1.htm

Of course you can't really convince your parents to become liberal Christians. But you can show that their values of tolerance and love for those unlike them, are expressly Christian values.

Something to consider is typical conservative Christian views of Atheists, and how you might dispel those notions:
http://www.religioustolerance.org/atheist9.htm

Here's another book that may be helpful:
http://www.amazon.com/dp/0830706542

I haven't read it, but if the reviews are accurate, it may help open their minds a little, without you being the one making arguments and so putting them on the spot and making them defensive. Buying them a copy then discussing how their choices & attitudes reflect their Christian beliefs, may help open them up to dealing with their hurt, confusion, and sense of loss of you coming out by reacting with love & forgiveness, instead of anger & rejection.

In his book Love, Acceptance & Forgiveness, Jerry Cook describes a church in Washington state that grew in 14 years to more than 4,000 people. The book includes a commitment the people at that church made to each other. It says: "You'll never knowingly suffer at my hands. I'll never knowingly say or do anything to hurt you. I'll always, in every circumstance, seek to help and support you. If you're down and I can lift you, I'll do that. If you need something and I have it, I'll share it with you. If I need to, I'll give it to you. No matter what I find out about you, no matter what happens in the future - either good or bad - my commitment to you will never change. And there's nothing you can do about it!" Today pray, "Lord help me to love like that."

I think we have all made promises to God with good intentions to keep those promises only to find ourselves in a place where we see our complete inability to follow through. Perhaps this is how we finally learn that we are completely in need of His Grace and His strength that is made perfect in our weaknesses? I know I have had several various struggles of habitual sins that only by God's Grace have I been able to overcome, usually with some great lessons being learned along the way. The most common, "Pride comes before a fall!"

I like to trust in my own ability to do things for God. This way I can just pat myself on the back and think, "God aren't you proud of me!?" I did this for you!" Then Jesus will just say that He loves me because He loves me! It isn't based on anything great I have done, or haven't done. Sure, our obedience pleases Him, as we should want to obey Him. But our obedience must come from a place of understanding of our need for Him, thankfulness for His abundant grace, and often with prayers for the strength needed to continue obeying when it becomes so hard to do sometimes!

I just picked up a great new book by John Bevere called "Killing Kryptonite" https://www.amazon.com/Killing-Kryptonite-Destroy-Steals-Strength/dp/1937558118

I am not even finished with the book yet, but John speaks about these habitual sins and how with the grace of God we can overcome! He shares his own person struggles in there with habitual sins too, so it is really transparent and encouraging. :) Maybe if you have some time it would be worth a read and encourage you.

God certainly loves you! I pray you can just grow in knowing how great the Father's love for you is, even in the midst of the struggles we all face. The fact that you even desire to be forgiven just proves that you very much have a heart that desires to follow Jesus! Those who have been "given over" to their sins, as the Bible warns, are those who have severed their conscience to the point where they don't even think that they have any sin. So being aware of our sinfulness is a healthy thing I believe. But we must also be aware of the incredible love and mercy of Jesus in spite of that at the same time! That is where our great joy, peace, hope and every good thing we have been given must come from! God bless!!!

This is pretty misguided sounding to me just skimming it. For example, "If asceticism denies people pleasure from the senses" is like saying "if surgery cuts people open and mutilates their bodies"... The end of asceticism isn't denying pleasure, but getting closer to God, and it is a matter of fact that for most people, sensory pleasure results in distance from God and that is the only reason to give it up. If sensory pleasure doesn't result in distance from God, then there is no reason to give it up. Many times it brings us closer to God, for example if we eat a nice meal due to hospitality, but the fathers recognize that we can consciously or unconsciously use this as an excuse in order to gratify our flesh, so they are even careful about this. Also, sometimes denying pleasure makes us proud and farther from God, in which case many saints (the only one that specifically comes to mind is St. John of San Francisco, but I've definitely encountered this sentiment before) encourage us to not deny ourselves as much, so that we don't become proud (St. John forced a young boy to eat meat during lent so that he would not become self-willed and proud; I have heard a story about a monk being ordered to eat meat by his abbot after repeatedly confessing pride at never having broken the fast). Asceticism is about radically confronting our experiences and values and struggling to remove the bad and make the good grow. If someone simply had pleasurable experiences all the time and for some reason this had no spiritual effect on them, then they would be called to some other, different type of asceticism than the rest of us depending on what came in between them and God.

Some points here, like that we should enjoy what is from God because it is from God, echoes sentiments in Orthodox teaching. There is a story (from the life of a desert father, don't remember which one) about a monk who said he will only trust God, so he won't eat anything unless it comes directly from God. Some neighboring saracen tribes who were hostile to the monks decided to make peace with them and brought a lot of food to them to feast on in reconciliation, but this monk denied doing so because it isn't from God, he said. But it is clearly from God because he did not seek it out, so he was chastised for denying this food. There is also a story I think in the life of St. Benedict of Nursia (but that is a guess) about a monk who was living in such severe asceticism in a cave that he didn't even know what day it was and had no contact with the world; he was revealed to the saint and the saint went to him on Pascha with a lot of food to feast in honor of the holiday, and urged the monk to eat this food he wouldn't normally eat in honor of God. But whether or not sensory pleasure falls into categories like this seems highly variable and individual.

If you are interested in further reading, I highly recommend this https://www.amazon.com/Struggle-Virtue-Asceticism-Secular-Society/dp/0884653730 book. By no means exhaustive or systematic, but it talks about foundational questions regarding asceticism and the worldly response to it in detail.

Also good: http://orthodoxinfo.com/praxis/podvig.aspx

and http://www.stxenia.org/difference.html

I don't know that God has an explicit plan for anyone's life, and if he does, I don't think most things that happen in our lives are some part of a great puzzle that God put together to get us to a particular place. If that were true, then we either have no free will, or every mistake we make takes us further away from that plan and we can never know if we're on the right track.

What God does have is a WILL for our lives, and that is different than a plan. God's will is that we would know him, love him, and serve him. His will is that we would become more like him as a result of being in relationship with him. This is his general will for all people. His will is also what is outlined for all people in the Bible. He offers us a huge book of great wisdom that it is his will that we would follow, because he loves us and it is in our best interests.

But as for specific wills for individuals, God is always graceful and always meeting us where we are. I know of times when it was clear what God wanted me to do in certain aspects of life. When I obeyed those promptings, I found joy and reward in the obedience. When I ignored them, I got less of them. I know that I have disregarded God's will for my life many times, and maybe even for years at a time. I'm sure that if I had obeyed him at 23 my life would be different than it was when I started obeying him at 33. But that doesn't stop him from having a will for my life today and giving me guidance based on where and who I am now, rather than trying to keep pushing me toward some plan he devised before I was born that I am sure I would be woefully far from.

One way people think about "God's plan" is that it is about what career they will have, or who they are going to marry. But I see no evidence of this in the Bible, or in my experience. What makes much more sense is that God probably doesn't care if I am a doctor or a used car salesman, what he cares about is whether I love him and serve him well in whatever career I pursue. He might have made me with the ability to be a great pastor, but I am not on his plan if I become a pastor that embezzles money or molests children; far better to be an honorable garbage man who shares his faith with those around him. It might be more wise to marry this woman than that, but I know that God is most interested in me being a good husband, regardless of who I marry.

I still ask God for guidance all the time, especially in the big decisions. Sometimes I get clear direction, and many times I don't. I think God loves that we invite him into these things, but not if we're asking him out of fear that we are going to make him angry if we choose wrong. In many things he is just happy to give you options and let you pursue what you want in a way that honors him.

I recommend The Will of God as a Way of Life as a great book on the topic, some of which I've referenced throughout this comment.

There's nothing that I consistently read or write every day that's always worked, but there have been a number of things over the years and decades that have become consistently useful to me, and that I always seem to go back to in one way or another.

Journaling, or any kind of writing. I'm not dedicated enough to do it every day, but it's rarely a bad thing. It's also interesting to go back to old writings years or decades later- some of it is still inspiring and useful, some of it is crap. All of it is my history, and that's not a bad thing.

Not really something I've read or done, but supportive online communities have helped me for years in different ways. The very good ones are not only supportive, but kindly call me on my bullshit, and steer me away from navel-gazing into positive action.

There have been a lot of books that have helped me, that I always go back to. I'm not religious, but I've found a great deal of help in reading some authors that are based in a spiritual tradition. When Things Fall Apart is not only a standby when I'm in crisis, but often has helped to clarify my thoughts and feelings about a situation or period in my life, and find constructive ways to move past it. Dark Nights of the Soul has also been very useful. I'm female, so Women Who Run With the Wolves has also been very useful, inspiring, and comforting at a lot of times. Create your personal sacred text has also been useful to me in terms of journaling- it has nothing to do with religion, but a lot to do with spirituality.

About the only daily thing that I've done for a very long time is to get the Inspiration Peak daily mailing, and Gimundo's good news daily update. Sometimes they don't speak to me, some days I find them annoying, but usually it's a good thing to get at least 2 positive pieces of mail a day. And I'm rarely too far away from the Serenity Prayer...at the moment it's on a sticky on my desk, on my fridge (the dinner hour here is chaotic), and posted in my bathroom (bathtime for autistic children can also be stressful). "The wisdom to know the difference" is always something that I struggle with, so it never hurts to have a reminder :-)

In 1901, Duncan MacDougal decided to try to weigh the soul by hooking up the dying to a precise scale. And while science has essentially just shot holes in the method, Duncan had positive results. As these people died, they lost weight—roughly twenty-one grams. He repeated the experiment with dogs and saw no weight loss post mortem. I am not here to shoot holes in his science. I am here to ask the question, what if he was right?

If this experiment proves that the soul exists, there is an afterlife. So if there is an afterlife, something exists outside of this world. And if all that is true, I need to make sure that my soul is going to the right place. 

If the soul exists, a religion is true. And if my math is right, it’s the most powerful system in the body. It’s not necessarily Christianity out of sheer logic here, but it could be.

• If the soul exists, how does it work?
  
• How does it affect the decisions we make and our habits and behaviors?
  
• If the soul exists, how does it factor in to addiction and mental health?
  
• Why is faith the perfect solution for addiction and mental health?
  
• What is love?
  
• How can we love better?
  
• What did Jesus mean when he said "Love your neighbor as yourself”?
  
• How can we fear God?
  
• Why is forgiveness important?
  
• Why is pride harmful?
  
• How can grief be overcome with love?
  
  In this book, I take an original approach at all these questions, and much more. If you think that faith has nothing that it can bring you, you should read this book. If you are wondering how you can use you beliefs to make better decisions, this book is for you.
  
  Soul Science is available for preorder now on Amazon [$0.99]. It drops August 1st.

I think the questions you're asking should be brought to a Bible study leader at your church. Theologically what you're saying just seems a bit off to me and that could be why you're feeling disappointed.

First, there are many Christians and some denominations who don't expect to experience God. When I first became a Christian I talked to a social worker about my spiritual experiences and she later told me that she spoke with her pastor and that God doesn't speak to people in that way. That was 15 years ago and God still speaks the same way to me, but it's clearly something she had never experienced even though she was a Christian.

You seem to think trying harder should get you better results, but I wonder if you're trying to play golf with a basketball. It doesnt matter how hard you try if you're not doing the right thing. Your concepts seem off to me which is why I recommend mentorship.

It's my opinion that God transforms us through the Holy Spirit, repentance and learning through scripture. That means praying for the Holy Spirit to help (specifically to change your heart), confessing your sin to God, taking action to change your behaviour, and memorizing relevant scripture. If your doing those things and still sensing no change then discuss it with an older more mature Christian. Being mentored by someone older and more mature is a Christian discipline.

A book I found helpful for connecting with God is this one https://www.amazon.com/Reconnect-Spiritual-Exercises-Develop-Intimacy-ebook/dp/B06W55GXN3/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1548431763&sr=1-2&keywords=David+sherbino
It uses a practise called lectio divina which is specifically about learning how to hear God speak to you.

Edit: Romans 8:31-39 New Living Translation (NLT)Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love

31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.

35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep. 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

If you think sin is separating you from God then confess your sin and it is gone. Nothing separates us from God, except our choice to walk away.

I just read "The God Delusion" and i'm a 4th year chemical engineering student so maybe my words can be useful.

I think that first you should keep in mind that words like "rational" and "reasonable" and even in some cases "logical" are relative terms. For instance, have you ever heard of the Prisoner's Dilemma? Just in case I'll explain it really quickly.

You and I commit a crime but sadly we get caught. The fuzz takes us into separate rooms and we have two options. 1.) Rat out the other guy 2.) Say nothing. There are 4 possibilities of combinations; We both rat each other out, we both say nothing, or one rats the other out and the other says nothing. If we both say nothing, we both go to prison for 1 year. If i rat you out and you say nothing, I go free and you go to jail for 5 years (or vice versa). If we both rat each other out we both go to jail 3 years. What is the "rational/logical/reasonable" choice? Some would say you should always rat the other out because in that case you always get the best outcome for you. Others would say that staying silent would be the best option because it most benefits both parties.

As far as Dawkins is concerned, I thought that same chapter you mentioned "Why there is almost certainly no god" was rather lack-luster when it came to convincing me of that (although, granted, I'm biased).

Personally I don't think scientific discovery in any way removes the need for a God. I believe that all phenomena in the universe can be scientifically explained, although some may be harder than others. It would be kind of silly if it couldn't. You hear people talk about God as being omnipotent, omniscient, and omni-all-sorts-of-other-cool-things. Thinking of God as this perfect being, it's not hard to believe that he made the universe in such a way that it can be explained. Although if you don't already think of God that way, it wouldn't be hard to dismiss that.

Anyway, your friend recommended you a book from one side, I'll do the same for you on the other. "The Case for a Creator" by Lee Strobel. It's about a journalist who came to believe that science (in his case a lot of it was evolution) removed the need for a God. And so he interviews many experts in specific fields of science to try and come to a conclusion. It's nice because Strobel went about this is such a way that he was looking for the truth as opposed to looking for a certain answer to fit his beliefs.

Hope that helps!


Edit: This book
http://www.amazon.com/The-Case-Creator-Journalist-Investigates/dp/0310241448

So as not to overburden you with recommendations, I'll just suggest one - The Great Divorce. Of course, TGD can be easily gotten in a set with some of the other popular ones I'd also recommend, but TGD is one that I really like because the vision of salvation it presents is a lot richer (and probably a lot more orthodox!) than the sort of disembodied-soul-with-a-harp tripe you get out of popular culture. Seeing salvation as something intrinsically linked to your character and attitude towards the divine, and seeing how that fulfills the Christian message better than merely having a particular epistemic commitment without needing to have that change of character was really instructive to me when I read it. And the bit about things of Heaven being, in a literal sense, more real is even in line with classical philosophy about God as subsistent Being Itself! And it's a quick read, too. I've even got a free ebook link.

(I am going to have to recommend The Abolition of Man too, though, which isn't in the classic box set)

I'm not trying to burst your bubble. I'm a missionary kid, I've had a lot of friends in ministry and missionary work, and I know what it's like to wonder if God is calling you to something unlikely but incredible. You don't have to answer my questions here, but I think they are definitely worth considering. I can understand your parents' reluctance to endorse your going, because there is a lot to consider here.

> in the hopes of setting up a community center/farm/general place of assistance to the local people.

This is not a terribly clear goal. What is the land actually being used for? What is the goal for its use, and how is it working toward that goal?

What are you in school for? Do you currently have any skills that can be used towards the mission's goal? Moreover, are there any locals that can take over the project that is intended to benefit them and their community?

Why did this woman ask you? Do you have particular skills and abilities that others don't? Have things changed in the area since you were there, and if so, how?

I'm not saying that God isn't calling you. But I know that it's really, really easy to mistake what we want to do for what God's actually calling us to do. It's also really easy to fall into the trap of "voluntourism". I would say that, more than anything else, whether you go or not, work on your own spiritual life and make sure that you are spiritually ready to go. There's a great book I can recommend on preparing to be a missionary, written by a guy who spent several decades in Nepal working as a doctor in the Himalayan foothills. It's called On Being a Missionary, by Thomas Hale. It'll help you figure out a lot of good things and prepare for Africa. Hope this helps.

James 3:1 says "Not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness."

Elders are teachers. It's part of the requirement and part of their job title. Now, this isn't the only reason not many are called to be pastors, but it is one reason. The thing is, most Christian men are not called to be pastors. I'd dare say that most do not fit the qualification, and many who do lack the desire. And there's no shame in that. It's not really an office that is desirous for most. It's something God does.

That said - I do know a couple of pastors who had to be convinced of their calling and have ended up being great pastors. One is Andy Farmer, who wrote the Rich Single Life and Real Peace and is a fantastic pastor.

> Basically, how should I approach this matter in my heart?

I would say that you shouldn't rule it out completely. Be open. And pray a lot. Ask God to make it clear one way or another. And speak to your pastors and friends within the church about your thoughts.

But one thing is for sure, you should not feel the least bit of shame or guilt in not desiring to be an elder. It's a noble desire, but that doesn't mean everyone needs to desire it.

I have shared these ideas too, and still struggle with them.
But I have begun to try and pray scripture back to God. I know that I am to pray for God's will to be done, and how can I be sure I am praying God's will? If I pray God's word. There is a book called "Take Words With You" that helps you to pray God's Words in every situation. In addition, I have found the book "Kneeling with the Giants" to be really helpful in opening my eyes to different forms and modes of prayer. These are different and not necessarily at odds with reformed theology - it covers prayer teaching by Martin Luther, Calvin, the Puritans as well as many others worth hearing about. I have found it helpful since reading this to continuously pray "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, Have Mercy on Me a Sinner". It sounds like an empty ritual, but I assure it has helped me to center my thoughts on Jesus and his sacrifice on my behalf throughout the day, and rightly put my priorities in life on God's glory.

I have found times in my life when I don't have the words to pray, that the words of others can be worthy and meaningful and beneficial. I second others who have linked to prayer books like Valley of Vision.

I think God makes promises to us through His Word -- not through feelings in our minds & hearts. I don't think there is any biblical support for God making promises to us through our emotions.

Also, I was deeply in love with a woman about twelve years ago -- she was the only woman I desired on planet earth. A few years later, she married another man and I have been deeply heart-broken ever since. So... just because you want something in your heart does not at all mean that this is God's promise to you. In fact, I would say it probably means the opposite -- it likely means that you have an idol in your heart. (In hindsight, my desire for this woman was, in fact, idolatrous).

"The heart is deceitful beyond all else. Who can understand it?" -Jeremiah 17:9

Listening to messages by Jim Newheiser has really helped me to better understand these sorts of things. He has some great audios on relationships and on how to know God's will for your life. You can listen to them here.

You might also want to check out a book called Gospel Treason which has some really good reviews on Amazon. (Most people find this book to be very humbling).

Also, in hindsight, I now believe that I have (or had) some sort of obsessive-complusive disorder. I obsessed over this girl throughout each day. This, unfortunately, added to my pain. If you find yourself thinking about this girl every five minutes, then it would probably be very wise to see a Christian counselor for these sort of obsessive thoughts. (It will save you from a tremendous amount of pain, trust me).

Lastly, I will pray for you and for your situation. Hopefully God will spare you from the immense pain that I went through.

Congratulations on your journey and welcome to the body Christ-his church. We were created to give glory and praise to our Heavenly Father. I really recommend that you watch some of Andy Stanley’s sermons: https://youtu.be/AJ20w6tHR5c

And read his book: Enemies of the Heart: Breaking Free from the Four Emotions That Control You https://www.amazon.com/dp/1601421451/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_FSB-BbD1971VW

I disagree with a lot of things posted above. I don’t believe God tests us. After all what would He gain by doing so? I do believe that we are tempted by the devil which is often confused as a test from God so I advise when times are difficult commanding the devil to leave your thoughts and presence in Jesus’s name.
Reading and studying the New Testament is important and praying for The Holy Spirit to guide, comfort and educate you continually is also important. A good church is also important as in fellowship with other we grow closer to God. I thank God for you and will be praying for you. Thank you for having the courage to post.

>Should I show next week?

Absolutely. And the next week and the next and the next. This is why I always recommend to those starting a small group, do something you'd be doing anyway.

So if no-one shows, use it as prayer time, bible reading, devotional, etc.

>And no one shows, how late do I stay?

Whatever time the group is set to start and finish at. Seems odd, I know, why not just bail once it is clear no-one is going to turn up, but a small group is a commitment and people need to know if you say 7-8, you mean 7-8, not 7-7:10.

Think of that time less as a commitment to the group and instead as a commitment to God, you're devoting that time to Him.

Always close out by saying a prayer over an empty chair. Pray for God to bring someone to fill it, someone that you can introduce and invite to the group. Do this with the group once you have one, make them involved and a part of the growth of the group.

Grab a copy of Dave Early's 8 Habits of Effective Small Group Leaders (cheaper ebook version), I got introduced to it recently but it is now required reading for our small group leaders and it'll really help, I promise.

Well if you get in touch with him later, if you get a chance, ask him what else he reads besides the bible to find out if it's more like this or more like this. Finding out what he thinks about things besides the bible should give you an idea of where his head is. I guess in that sense, it isn't a very big deal what you ask, but if you can engage him in anything worldly (politics, science, less politicky current events, etc), you're likely to get a better idea of how he's doing.

Maybe I'm taking all of the weight out from what I'm saying by disclosing my Christianity (I have ingenious justifications :) ). But that being said, you're much more likely to feel like you're getting someplace if you're engaging him on specific issues, by talking about things such as negative aspects of social conservatism or the authority of the scientific community as far as describing the natural world is concerned, or even this or that about Christianity rather than attacking "theism". (Not because it's a 'sacred cow' that can't be questioned, but because he isn't likely to respect your views about theism in itself if that's most of what you guys talk about right off the bat),

I asked originally about what your expectations were because if you want to (and if he still likes to have such rangey, high-minded discussions), you guys can knock around on things like this and over time you'll be giving him a chance to see things the way that you do. I just worried seeing your original post all by itself that you might be tempted to make this make or break at the beginning and I was thinking that you might not make that much headway, and wanted to throw in my 2 cents.

Recently a combination of A Praying Life and Spiritual Depression has completely changed the way I pray. Daniel 9 is also beginning to hold a formative place in my prayer life.

You'll be amiss to search for a book that will change your actions... Look for something to help you change the bent of your heart more towards God and God's grace, flowing out of that relationship, will enable repentance and real change.

A risk of contradicting myself, I hold both authors of this book, How People Change, in very high regard. I've only read the first few chapters but it has a good focus. Again, on the heart and its relation to God over and above mere actions.

The late David Powlison’s book on anger, Good and Angry, is perhaps the best book on anger I have ever read, better than Robert Jones’ by a long shot. In addition, he has also written a book called Power Encounters (it’s out of print though) on the topic of spiritual warfare from a Reformed and gracious/non-dogmatic perspective. Both books are pastorally wise and helpful.

If you’re not familiar with David Powlison, he was a biblical counselor and the executive director for CCEF (Christian Counseling Education Foundation). He had made significant contributions to biblical counseling and his wisdom will be missed as he recently passed away. The Lord bless you.

Here are all the local Amazon links I could find:


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Write or read?

If anyone's interested (and in hopes of putting the "Harry Potter is anti-religion" argument to bed for good:

https://www.amazon.com/Gospel-According-Harry-Potter-Spiritual/dp/0664231233/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1510434595&sr=8-1&keywords=the+gospel+according+to+Harry+Potter

https://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Faith-Harry-Potter-Multigenerational/dp/0819233552/ref=pd_sim_14_5?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=0819233552&pd_rd_r=7Z4F6JWW0MXW0GWD5X06&pd_rd_w=55jVa&pd_rd_wg=xWDDV&psc=1&refRID=7Z4F6JWW0MXW0GWD5X06

https://www.amazon.com/Looking-Harry-Potter-John-Granger/dp/1414300913/ref=pd_sbs_14_4?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=1414300913&pd_rd_r=VN2K3B25KAF5VQASJAEB&pd_rd_w=6L98T&pd_rd_wg=qSnuH&psc=1&refRID=VN2K3B25KAF5VQASJAEB

The Gospel According to Harry Potter: The Spiritual Journey of the World's Greatest Seeker https://www.amazon.com/dp/0664231233/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_i_eS16AbG82SCEB

I second the Good and Angry book.

My Professor recommended that book to me, as well as:

Richard Baxter

http://www.bradhambrick.com/?s=overcoming+anger

Uprooting Anger

The Quest for Meekness

and

http://theblazingcenter.com/2014/07/6-critical-truths-to-understand-about-anger.html

Of possible interest:

The Struggle for Virtue: Asceticism in a Modern Secular Society, by Archbishop Averky Taushev (Russian Orthodox)

Case For a Creator.
http://www.amazon.com/Case-Creator-Journalist-Investigates-Scientific/dp/0310241448

Some guy was handing them out on campus. Funny read though.

http://www.amazon.com/Case-Creator-Journalist-Investigates-Scientific/dp/0310241448

So, before you tackle the convo, perhaps read Th Gospel According to Harry Potter. It was written by a woman specifically to address these issues. She pulls out Christian themes throughout the books and relates them back to gospel messages.

http://www.amazon.com/Gospel-According-Harry-Potter-Spiritual/dp/0664231233/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1406179184&sr=1-1&keywords=the+gospel+according+to+harry+potter

Pick up both of these books.

​

https://smile.amazon.com/Small-Book-about-Big-Problem-ebook/dp/B076DHKTZT/ref=sr_1_2?keywords=ed+welch&qid=1548199369&sr=8-2

https://smile.amazon.com/Good-Angry-Irritation-Complaining-Bitterness/dp/1942572972/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=good+and+angry&qid=1548199363&sr=8-1

Oh, is that like the other book by Lee Strobel in which he makes the case for creationism by interviewing people who take the position he likes while ignoring arguments and facts that he doesn't like? Sorry, but that's nothing like objective. Sort of the opposite, really. Somehow, I have a hard time Strobel makes any sort of attempt at objectivity.

My bad memory. Here's the book, which is actually titled The Struggle for Virtue: Asceticism in a Modern Secular Society.

Which James White? I hear good things about Dr. James Emery White, though I have never read any of his works.

This James White is a different story. He's not really a "doctor", all his doctoral degrees come from an unaccredited institution. I haven't interacted with his work too much, mostly because he comes across as a bit arrogant and confrontational in the works I have read. His apologetic work often strikes me as disingenuous, uncharitable, and often pseudo-historical towards those he is arguing against, especially Roman Catholics.

I do have quite a few books I would recommend:

First, I would read the following:

The Heidelberg Catechism, The Belgic Confession, and the Canons of Dort

These are collectively referred to as the "Three Forms of Unity", and are the baseline documents for continental Reformed (Calvinist) churches. In addition, I recommend the following:

Good Introductions

Letters to a Young Calvinist by James K.A. Smith

Calvinism in the Las Vegas Airport by Richard J. Mouw

What is Reformed Theology? by R.C. Sproul

A Little Book on the Christian Life by John Calvin

Digging Deeper

Pilgrim Theology by Michael Horton

The Christian Faith by Michael Horton

The Institutes of the Christian Religion in the 1536, 1541, or 1559 editions by John Calvin. Also available online here

Reformed Dogmatics by Herman Bavinck

Systematic Theology by Louis Berkhof

As well anything by the following authors:

Modern: R.C. Sproul, Michael Horton, James K.A. Smith, Cornelius Plantinga, Alvin Plantinga, John Piper, and Tim Keller.

1800s & 1900s: J. Gresham Machen, Herman Bavinck, Abraham Kuyper, G.C. Berkouwer, and B.B. Warfield

Pre-1800s: Jonathan Edwards, John Calvin, Theodore Beza, and John Knox

Another thing...

Finish Aquinas when you can. (Hopefully) marvel at the ingenuity of the man's reasoning and the tightness (maybe?) of his arguments. Even you don't accept the arguments, at least marvel at their high-level, fundamental reasoning that are specifically designed to avoid god-of-the-gaps.

Then go look at the table of contents of this piece of shit:

Evolution, evolution, evolution. Darwin. DNA is machinery! Darwin. Derp derp! Biochemistry! Darwin was wrong! Evolution. Dembski Dembski. DNA is complex machinery!!! Behe. Meyer. Dembski. Behe. Darwin. Evolution.

???!!!!

THE FECKIN' IDIOTS HAVE ABANDONED THE ENTIRE INTELLECTUAL FOUNDATION OF THEIR OWN WORLDVIEW!!!

My encounters with Aquinas now make me doubly pissed off at modern evangelicals! Not only do they provide shit arguments, but now I know they provide shit arguments when they don't need to.