Reddit mentions of Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People: How to Beat Them Without Joining Them

There are a number of books that I think you ought to read to get a better understanding of office politics and how to cope/deal with them. All offices have politicking going on, and any company that claims otherwise is lying to you. Any time more than 2 people get together, there will be some sort of jostling for power and attention. When that happens at work, we call it "office politics".

Your library may have these, and if you get them, read them at home. Don't ever bring them into the office.

Corporate Confidential. HR is your enemy, not your friend. Gives a number of examples of what will destroy your career with companies, many of which you (and I) probably do without realizing the consequences.

The Passionate Programmer. The first edition of this book was called "my job went to India". While aimed at programmers, the points are to keep your mind and skills up to date as technology and business move too rapidly to let things get rusty.

To Be or Not to Be Intimidated.
Looking out for number one.
Million Dollar Habits. I feel that these 3 by Robert Ringer are very important. If you think his first book was about to intimidate others, you only read the press coverage. If you think his books are about real estate, then you only skimmed them. There are a lot of people in the world who will try to intimidate you into giving up what is yours, and he shows you what some of them are like, and what countermeasures you can use.

The Art of Deception. Bad title - it is about arguments, how to make them, win them and tell if you're hearing a bad one. Used to be called "rhetoric" when Plato and Aristotle taught the subject.

Snakes in Suits. There are some evil people out there. You'll work for some of them. You will be stabbed in the back by some of them.

Bullies, Tyrants, and Impossible People. One book on office politics and dealing with some of the worse sort.

The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work. Some folks are very good with verbal manipulation, this book and the others in the series, cover how to deal with such people.

Winning with People. Most of the books this author writes are about managers and leadership. This book is more about people skills. It will be focused more at managers, but I think it is a good one.

The 48 Laws of Power. They have it. You want some. Light read with anecdotes. I like his other books as well.

Games At Work. Office politics.

It's All Politics. Yes it is.

Moral Politics. Liberals and conservatives, why do they think that way? You'll work with some of the opposite persuasion some day, so understanding where they come from is a reasonable idea. Most books on this subject are insulting and degrading, but I think this one is pretty much judgement-free.

> When I walk by him going to the bathroom, he will stop talking until I walk by.

Do the same. When they come to your desk, always brush them aside with "I'm sorry, I can't talk now, I'm busy working".

Once you're 18 you won't need their approval but you'd need a job to help pay for the transition and having good health insurance (in the US anyway) would be key. Just completely avoid people who judge you in any way. Stay away from bullies and people who don't understand and never will.

The purpose of keeping a journal is to become aware of and start to decode our own thought processes. What our assumptions are, how we're unnecessarily criticizing ourselves. How we can focus on our goals and values instead of getting trapped in wasteful emotional cycles. It can be done in the simplest way, just by jotting a few notes down each day of the strongest negative or positive thoughts we had and reviewing them to unpack their content. So we can drill in a little further to figure out what thoughts are driving us most of the time. To weed out what is self defeating and focus on our motivation. The instructions in the article link are deceptively simple and powerful.

Therapy is n't just for them to listen to you. They can offer you techniques and wisdom to apply to difficult life situations. They help you apply the knowledge that's in books like Calming the Family Storm and Bullies but much faster because you can share what's happening and they give you advice you can start applying immediately. It helps us drop what we're doing that's not working and apply better strategies to our life. So try not to write it off as just a way to "pass a test" so you can get treatment. You only see the therapist as long as you want and if you don't like the first one you see you can shop around. But there are therapists who are trained in multiple overlapping areas such as trans, anger, family counseling, etc. If you live in a larger city you should pretty easily be able to find a highly qualified one.

And remember people work in call centers because they want to help people. The pay is crap. They do it because they are trying to make a difference in the world. One person at a time. Many call centers are predominantly volunteer driven. They really want to help. It's less intimate maybe than a close friend. But your friend isn't trained in helping people in difficult situations. Help lines aren't just a shoulder to cry on. They are there to help connect you to the resources that might be available to you.

Living in your own place changes things dramatically. No one can judge you when you are independent and self sufficient. Hang in there!