Reddit mentions of Courage After Fire: Coping Strategies for Troops Returning from Iraq and Afghanistan and Their Families

Well my first step was to read a whole bunch of psychology papers from academic journals. Because of academic publishing I can't post those, and since I am not at my work computer, I don't have the titles handy.

For books, I started with the 5 Love Languages, Military Edition because my guy actually talked about it with me and it cracked me the heck up that this big strong man was throwing out terms like "words of affirmation" and "acts of service." It was a good read regardless.

I also read:

• Courage After Fire Which is coping strategies for challenges
  
  
• The Dance of Anger because I tend to respond to with anger and that is not conducive
  
  
• Single Girls Guide to Marrying a Man, His Kids and His Ex Wife because the week he was deployed was the week before I was flying across the country to meet his youngest.
  
  I also went through a few traumatic events when I was 18 (raped, mugged at gunpoint, and domestic abuse in three months) and had some PTSD. So while our experiences are not similar, I have been in counseling and reading about PTSD for about 12 years. Between that and yoga teacher training (which includes a lot of eastern philosophy reading) I have an ok handle on the whole touchy feely thing. I just didn't have the military specifics.
  
  EDIT I just remembered to warn you to take this all with caution. I can be a good woman. I can be understanding and supportive and kind and in love, but I can't fix him or make him love me if he doesn't want to. If he needs to be alone, he needs to be alone and all I can do is accept that, offer my kindness when he wants it and treat myself well in the meantime. I can try to send presents and remind him that even if he says he is the only guy "without a family" that he isn't unloved. Treat yourself well too!