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First off, everything I have to say will be said better on the r/fitness and r/loseit wikis. If what I say resonates with you, then go there and read the wikis before posting your questions. They're both very supportive communities, but fitness will remove your post if you try to post a basic question without reading the wikis.

I hate to be the one to break it to you, but "toning" is a myth. You look better by losing fat to reveal the muscle hidden underneath. If you have low muscle, then you will need to build some, but that can wait if you're more concerned about your overall weight.

First, have a clear goal. Do you want to lose fat or do you want to build muscle? It's possible to do both, but figure out which is the priority for now, because one or the other is much easier to do as a beginner. Strength training is great for everyone. Try to do compound movements, like bench press, deadlift, and squat (the big 3), rows, and overhead press, and generally stay away from machines for the first month or two while you work on learning good form. Machines are a crutch when you're a beginner. The first couple months will suck. You will be sore after your workouts. Just power through it. The soreness mostly goes away after a couple months if you are consistent.

Try to get over your dislike of gym environments. They really do help to keep you focused and the act of going means that you are committing to exercising for X amount of time, whereas there are other distractions and temptations at home. It's also nice having access to a variety of equipment so you can try new exercises without sacrificing storage space at home, particularly if you're lifting. Even if you're really not feeling it, commit to 30 minutes of lifting or cardio on your gym days. Your first few months are about building the habit.

Count calories. Seriously, do it. Buy a food scale (they're cheap) and download an app like MyFitnessPal or Chronometer. Honestly log everything that you eat and drink for a week (you'll be surprised at how calorie dense some foods are, but it's better to be aware) and then calculate your Total Daily Energy Expenditure (TDEE) with an online calculator and compare. Be sure to be honest about your activity level. If you work a desk job and don't have any physically active hobbies, then you are sedentary. You will need to eat bellow your TDEE in order to lose weight. 500 kcals under your TDEE is the usual rule of thumb, but talk to your doctor if that gives you a number that is too challenging. Warning: there will be a lot of conflicting information on how much protein you need to eat daily.