Reddit mentions of FranklinCovey The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People 15th Anniversary Edition - Hardcover

For starters, I want to congratulate you on sharing this with us :) Asking for help is a big step forward! I would challenge you to consider what being "independent" actually means to you. Does this mean "isolation"? "Going it on your own"? I would encourage you to read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I think you'll find some valuable, actionable insights :) Best of luck!

It looks like you're trying to jump into a bunch of things at once. That's not a bad thing - you're excited to make changes, and you're ready to take the steps you need to for them. That's great! That said, you're looking to make a lot more changes than most people can keep up with at once. So it might be a good idea to start with small steps that can make a difference.

You seem to grasp part of the solution: time management. The truth is, none of us can tell you how to manage your time. We don't know what your circumstances and priorities are. At best, we can offer suggestions about class-to-home-study ratios and how to plan your day. But anything more than that, we can only really give you some advice and tools that might help.

First, the advice: Time management is mostly about prioritization. Yes, you have to work within a schedule that might not be in your control. You have hours that are dedicated to existing responsibilities, like school, sports, clubs or church activities. But the things that you do outside these responsibilities are at least partially in your control, and that's where the prioritization starts. So here's what I think will help you:

Identify three things you'd like to prioritize in your life. This might include your grades, as you've stated above. You might want to focus on physical fitness, family togetherness, music, spending time with friends, writing, reading, learning skills like coding - that's something you need to figure out on your own. Write down these priorities in a way that speaks to you. For example, you might write "Getting good grades is a priority for me because I want to get into a good college and have scholarship opportunities." Do this for all three priorities.

Your next step is going to be to make small steps to help you show how committed you are to those priorities. You're not going to easily jump from studying 20 minutes after class ends to spending an hour every evening outlining your textbooks. But you might be able to fit in, say, another 15-30 minutes at home when you can look over your notes and check your textbooks for anything that was unclear, and then another 30 minutes to do some of your required reading. You can always add more time and activities later.

Here's where it gets tricky: motivation dries up pretty quick, and studies have shown that people have only a certain amount of willpower, and it's surprisingly consistent. You can only do things you don't want to do for so long before you get burnt out. This is where the prioritization statement I had you write above comes in. That's your willpower booster.

Every time you catch yourself slipping out of the habits you're forming to achieve your goals, you need to pull out the prioritization statements and read them, preferably aloud. Then you have to say to yourself - again, aloud is best - "I am choosing to play video games instead of study because I am not prioritizing getting good grades." This is called cognitive dissonance. The two statements are both true, but they directly contradict each other. Your brain is going to view this negatively, and you will find yourself trying to prove one of the statements false by withdrawing the statement or changing your behavior.

Having the written priority statement will help you to change the behavior instead. The written statement is tangible. You can pick it up and read it, and it won't change. The spoken statement only exists as a thought or as words in the air. Although it may not work all the time, the easiest path for your brain to take is going to be to change the statement that is not written down. You may need to consciously change it to something like "I am choosing to play video games after I review my notes from history class and biology because I am prioritizing getting good grades." This positive rephrasing is in line with your original priority statement, and you'll have an easier time following along, especially because it does not make you avoid the behavior - you're just delaying it.

Now that I've given you my advice (which you can take or leave - I'm an Internet stranger, not your parent or adviser), here are the tools I can give you:

Getting Things Done is a good book for anyone who wants help managing their workload, regardless of if it's school or work. Many libraries carry a copy because it is a popular resource.

7 Habits of Highly Effective People is another well-respected book that is good for self-improvement and habits worth cultivating. It looks like you might be younger than the target audience, so you might prefer 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens, which I would have loved as a teenager.

This list of Apps/programs is useful for different tools and options that are available to help you manage your time and responsibilities. None of them is a substitute for dedication and discipline, but it's sure easier to stay motivated and disciplined when you know where to find all your stuff!

I hesitate to provide a Reddit link, as I know Reddit can be a major time suck if you get too into it, but consider checking out the top posts in /r/getdisciplined for some advice or anecdotes that may help you to stick with your plans, whatever they are.

There's more I could say here, but honestly, it's past midnight where I am now, and I need to get ready for bed. Feel free to PM me if anything in this giant essay I've written is unclear or if you want more information. I'll do my best to help you out.

Good luck! Work hard and stay dedicated.

I infer that you are looking for a secular handle on a normative ethical theory.

Right Conduct: Theories and Application by Bayles and Henley provides a basic outline of essential philosophical thinking from an academic perspective.

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, while authored by a Mormon, doesn't have any religious content that I recall and outlines some very useful heuristics for living a moral life. It's targeted at a general audience.


Meditations by Marcus Aurelius does contain some religious content (though here he's not referring to YHWH), but still has a lot of useful ideas with secular application.

You may also be interested in The School of Life and The Greater Good Science Center.

Good luck.

Good post but it's missing references.

The poster book for Stoicism and productivity mixed together: The Obstacle is the Way

Not sure about the rest but for subjectivity, I'm guessing The Now Habit

Guess for negativity bias Predictably Irrational

Guess for think objectively Succeed

Guess for advice to friends The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I guess this goes to explain my downvote. I'm not really expecting a fully referenced article but it goes to show that either productivity concepts are overrated and can be summed up in one short article or the concepts, as written in the article, is vastly under-represented if not mis-represented.

I'm sure my lone vote won't matter much in the river of upvotes and congrats for giving your site and articles that "Seth Godin" touch but you could do better.