Reddit mentions of Goodbye, Friend: Healing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has Ever Lost a Pet

I went through something similar over a year ago, but kind of from the outside. My wife had the kind of relationship with our dog that you have with yours. She was her dog before my wife moved in with me when we were dating.

Our dog had a few conditions, including a heart murmur, and was deteriorating over years. It got bad and she was exhibiting the same symptoms yours did (specifically, coughing until hacking).

I had to be the support structure because, well, my wife was devastated that she was getting sicker. But I'll tell you what did it. We had to bring her to the hospital for an overnight because she was just getting worse. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't run, or play or anything. She was just coughing. They put her in an oxygen tank for observation and we came back in the morning. She was sitting in this tank, so excited to see us, but she couldn't breathe. We could see, and hear it. It was heartbreaking.

I can't tell you what to do. I don't think you are being selfish, yet, and I can say I understand. This is a member of your family, whom you love and rely on. And you want to hold on to her. But you have to ask yourself what kind of life she will lead if you hold on to her for too long. The best parts of being a dog are living the life of a dog, and if you don't let her go when it's the right time she will just suffer, and then you'll feel even more guilt.

And the only other thing I can say is that, even though it sucks a LOT, you may want to be there at her end. My wife didn't think she could handle it, but when the time came our dog crawled out of my lap and into hers, and I think it made all of the difference.

And keep in mind, there are a lot of things you can do to assist in memorializing her. If you need to talk, reach out.

This book helped my wife a lot afterwards.

Been there, there’s nothing sadder. A good book to read (and it’s a quick read)