Reddit mentions of How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To

I’m glad you found it useful. There are many crazy things and feelings that happen when you’re cheated on and all of them are normal. So it’s good to read around and see how normal your feelings are.

One word of advice: Whatever you do, please do not try to rug sweep this by adding new commitments (kids, marriage, house, car) until everything has been worked out and resolved. It ends up so much worse later on than tackling it head on now.

You’ve been in an emotional car accident and it’s going to take work in recovery to heal from your trauma. Regardless of whether you stay with him or not.

It’s unfair, but even though you didn’t cause your injuries, you will have to do the hard recovery work to heal them. If you reconcile he must help and do all of the right things, but it is ultimately still on you,

This book really helped me figure out the acceptance vs. forgiveness part.

How Can I Forgive You?: The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060009314/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_7rkYDb96Q3J71

I hope you can find some inner peace soon.

https://www.amazon.com/How-Can-Forgive-You-Courage/dp/0060009314

This book! It discusses forgiveness and that not all things should be forgiven (yes, it's true) but how to move on from that and get to a place of acceptance and peace.

Forgiveness is a hard thing, and God is the only one who can perfectly forgive. We're human, and as humans, we harbor anger, mistrust, fear, and all sorts of negative emotions. It's normal, and no it's not going to hinder you from having a relationship with God. There are so many things that are the work of the Holy Spirit, and this is one of those things - it's not one and done, it's a process and a journey, and it may never be perfect or even close to what we wished it would be.

I think you might find the book How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To really helpful. It's not a Christian book, but it does a good job of exploring the topic of forgiveness. Some of the reviewers are Christian, so you can see how they've applied it.

There's this idea out there that when we 'forgive' others, we have to almost be okay with what was done, or invite that person back into our lives, or be all happy and good with them - and that's not the case. Forgiveness is more about reaching a place of acceptance, and letting go of hatred that you might be harboring that is keeping you from moving forward. It's saying that what they did was awful, hurtful and messed up, and that you may never understand it (and it will never have been okay), but that you're choosing to not hold hatred in your heart towards that other person. To release that anger, and let God help you through it.

If you figure out a way to do this, let me know! Struggling with it (both the concept and the act of doing it) doesn't make you a bad Christian, it makes you a human being. And that also highlights the beauty of the cross for us - how challenging forgiveness truly is, and what a gift it is to have it from God.

I found the 'How Can I Forgive You?' book supremely helpful in answering this question, personally: https://www.amazon.ca/How-Can-Forgive-You-Courage/dp/0060009314/