Reddit mentions of Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

Here's some blunt truth for yall. You are part of a marginalized community. Society won't treat you fairly or change during your life. Like anyone in a marginalized community, if you want to have the same things privileged people have, you have to be exceptional. Even if you do become exceptional and escape the marginalization you will not be given credit for how much you've overcome, instead you will be an example of how everyone like you is at fault for their problems. You will have to learn to create your own self worth because all your accomplishments will be seen as the bare minimum in the eyes of privileged people that had none of your challenges.

On the upside, it's worth it. Happiness is worth it, I promise. You have to have faith in that yourself because your journey will be very difficult and you'll need faith in what you're doing to motivate you.

As for practical advice about what to do, I would suggest that maybe the biggest gap I see around here is not physical attractiveness, it's emotional intelligence. That's also something everyone can improve if they care and practice. I recommend you read this book: https://www.amazon.com/Just-Listen-Discover-Getting-Absolutely/dp/0814436471 There's no easier way to get people to appreciate you and to ultimatley get them to do what you want than to truly listen to them. This book is about how you do that. I know the cliche is that all you do is listen to women, but if you're in this forum, I promise you don't really have this skill.

The other tip would be poker. Play live poker. Poker is a game of skill with hugely important life lessons that don't seem to be well learned around here. First, you have to find a game unless you live somewhere with a casino. Finding a hook up is a social challenge and learning to do it is an important social skill. Once you get to the table the game is fundamentally about making decisions and acting with confidence even when you have little to no information to guide your actions and the stakes are high. You also need to learn to read people so you get more information and can make better decision. Those skills of learning to read people and learning how to display emotions confidently that you might not actually feel are super vital to dealing with women and life in general. Gambling is addictive so be careful. Also, you won't learn a thing unless you're gambling an amount of money that matters to you. It absolutely shouldn't endanger your ability to pay the bills but it shouldn't be $1 either.

Good luck and I really hope someone here takes the advice in this thread and does something even though it's hard and even though you're likely to fail.

https://www.amazon.com/Just-Listen-Discover-Getting-Absolutely/dp/0814436471


This book is very, very helpful if you want to manipulate people.

Take a look at the other comment I posted. It covers what some people might be feeling, but there could be other reasons for their behavior.

Maybe it's because of the circumstances in which you're talking to people. It could be your entire city or country. Maybe you're at a place where people don't like to talk or meet others. Maybe there's something distressing that they can't stop thinking about. Even the most charismatic person wouldn't be able to reach most people in those situations. So even if you think that nobody wants to hear what you have to say, there are lots of times where people don't want to hear what anybody has to say.

Maybe instead it has something to do with you. Maybe the things you tend to bring up simply don't interest other people. Or maybe people look at you, and without you even saying a word they already decide that they don't want to get to know you. What could you do to improve how you look or make yourself more interesting? I know that's stupid and shallow, but many studies have shown a stupid amount of benefits of being attractive and beautiful. Hot girls don't always talk about interesting things, but unfortunately they aren't hard pressed to find an audience regardless of that.

I know this all probably sucks to read, but it's great that you're working to grow and improve. And it should be noted that if you keep striving to talk to more people, you will surely find people who will gladly listen to what you have to say. Maybe a few of those listeners will turn into friends. But don't get down on yourself if they don't, most of them won't no matter how interested they are in what you have to say.

I'll end this with a couple suggestions. The first suggestion, as you might gather from the last paragraph, is that you should search for more people to talk to. Like I said in my previous post, this is an unhealthy type of relationship for you. I recommend that you meet more people. I read a book called Talk to Strangers: How Everyday, Random Encounters Can Expand Your Business, Career, Income, and Life, and while it's not a great book, there are a few gems in it. My biggest takeaway from it is that in order to confidently meet people you must believe in four assumptions:

1. The world is a friendly place
   
2. Everyone can be met
   
3. Almost everyone you meet can enhance your life in some way
   
4. You can enhance the life of everyone you meet
   I've found that believing in these assumptions really does motivate me to talk to strangers. The more you experiment with it, the better you get at it. Plus it will expose you to types of people that you might not otherwise interact with, which is beneficial in a lot of ways.
   
   I know this second suggestion will seem illogical considering the title of the post, but I can't recommend Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone enough. I fully credit it for every time I've met someone who seems to enjoy my company. In this post I've listed off a bunch of things that you might be doing wrong, but this book will explain to you how to do things right. It's made a huge difference in my interactions with people, and a lot of people I meet now think I'm charismatic. I fully credit that to this book. Now that I think about it, I'm going to start re-reading it tonight.
   
   Hope that helps.