Reddit mentions of Less Medicine, More Health: 7 Assumptions That Drive Too Much Medical Care

So....while the author's parents were still functional, what plans did they make for disability? Yeah, I know. I got kids! Then one kid dies, and the doctor says "You won't live long without a triple bypass!" and that'll be another $30,000 that you don't have for four years of miserable quality life...or maybe no extra life at all!" And daddy/mommy of no-money and no-plan thinks "It's ok! I'll burden the other kid!"

I know exactly one elderly parent who planned for their own age and disability. ALL the others are doing the worst possible things: begging the children not to put them in one of "those places," squatting on the aging, unmaintained Mommy house, because they just couldn't possibly not have the littles over at Christmas!, avoiding conversations about age and disability, and natch! ALWAYS getting all possible medical care to keep them alive...and alive...and alive...

And then the kids...whoever are left...end up resenting them. Who'da thunk?

This woman's parents were paragons of The No-Plannie-Parent. Did they ever talk to their kid about disability and aging? Never, which is why she couldn't imagine it. Did they maintain good health? Not if their photos are any indication! Did the death of their son inspire any re-thinking of "burden our kids" as a plan? Not a bit of it! Did they manage their money wisely, becoming more frugal as they aged? They could hardly have done worse. A reverse mortgage lets you spend while you stay in the Mommy house! It's a dream! Except when you move out, and you have to sell, and the whole amount comes due. Stupid and self-indulgent, but that's the kind of people the writer describes: "jet setters" who don't have any money in their old age.

We, the CF will end up better off than the childed elderly as we age, because we have plans. We're frugal, so that we have cheap habits and lots of money. We're not greedy for the Eight! Percent! Per year! That the stock market actually does not deliver. We expect to need care in our age, and we have no expectation that we can squat on a giant, high-maintenance Mommy house at 80 because the universe owes us family Christmases. We deal with professional money managers and lawyers, not with our kids who, at best, don't know what they're doing. We anticipate disability and make decisions about refusing life-extending care.

/u/WeetzieBat2020 thank you for the book recommendation, and let me add Less Medicine More Health by the physician who pioneered evidence-based medicine studies at Dartmouth. A great book for end-of-life planning.