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Reddit mentions of Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: The Definitive Guide to Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men and the Women that Love Them
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Reddit mentions: 3
We found 3 Reddit mentions of Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback Girl: The Definitive Guide to Understanding Emotionally Unavailable Men and the Women that Love Them. Here are the top ones.
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Sounds like you are the Fallback Girl, the real thing you need to figure out is why? If you don't figure out what made you stick with a guy like this chances are you will pick another and another.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1450540392/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1509748333&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=mr+unavailable+and+the+fallback+girl&dpPl=1&dpID=51ZVXT19KdL&ref=plSrch
Thank you for responding. I do have someone now that I love and trust and that treats me with respect, we are just going through a tough time and were discussing separating (our 4 yr old has Autism and it is very stressful to balance everything).
I swore I would block him, no access, no explanation, goodbye, or closure.
Then, the last thing I did (I know it was dumb after the fact) was tell him that I should have walked away when he told me he had lied and he WAS seeing someone exclusively. I apologized to HIM for HIM lying to me. I feel like such a fool now but thank GAWD for the internet. I found that their was a book called: http://www.amazon.com/Mr-Unavailable-Fallback-Girl-Understanding/dp/1450540392
and I didn't even read the book, just clips from the 2nd edition, and it all made so much sense that I could FINALLY see that it was my own self esteem that kept driving the responses.
It has been 2, almost 3 days since my little "walk away" message, to which he responded he was "sorry". I still have that pit in my stomach...like I want him to try and contact me just so I can go out on my own terms. But, like you said...giving him NO access IS my own terms. I kept my heart guarded for so long, and I used to refuse his advances and flirt chat. But something about this year made me realize I hadn't heard from him in a LONG time and I excused trying to hunt him down as "making sure he was ok and happy". Pffffft. I set myself up for that one.
I found him through LinkedIn and it started off chatting, talking about meeting up (he is, luckily 4+ hours away) but then it got to "old times" and before I knew it I sent him a picture of my in lingerie I had bought 10 years ago WITH him. #1 because I have worked really hard to get my body to wear it is and I'm proud and get no recognition other than from people who haven't seen me in a long time, but also #2 because I was trying to tempt him. And I ended up exposing myself and walking away with nothing. It's totally degraging.
How do you "Guard" your heart? Maybe I live with my emotions on my sleeve too much or maybe I just jump into old bad habits because that is all I know with him, but I just can't seem to close the door AND LOCK it.
I would love to chat, I am sorry that you have been through this too. No one deserves to be treated this way and I need to stop convincing myself that I can turn the tables and be the one in control. I can't believe that 15 years have gone by and my heart still sinks when I think of this guy. Does it ever end?
XOXO and thanks again for sympathizing.