Reddit mentions of Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (Revised Edition)

Of course you are perfectly normal; the ramifications of an unwanted pregnancy are nothing to be blasé about. However that level of anxiety sounds awfully uncomfortable.

As a 40F, who spent years doing progressively more invasive fertility treatments trying to get pregnant, I would suggest you educate yourself about your body to help ease your anxiety. I learned tons from a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. In order to get pregnant you have to ovulate (which the pill suppresses) and then sperm have to either already be present, or arrive within 24-48 hours of ovulation. So even with complete contraception failure, the chances of conception very early or late in your menstrual cycle are effectively zero.

I personally think that condescending and mean-spirited comments about such a sensitive topic are completely inappropriate, especially in a subreddit that is devoted to Christianity. If you are well-educated about the topic and believe that BillyKangas is making a mistake, then feel free to speak up, but remember that birth control decisions are highly personal and often emotionally charged.

A lot of comments seem to be confusing NFP with the (completely ineffective) Rhythm Method. NFP is a subset of the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM), where the couple abstains from sex during the fertile days. Non-NFP users of FAM use a barrier method (like condoms) on these days. FAM uses both waking temperatures and cervical fluid (and, optionally, position) changes to monitor fertility. Temperature alone will not tell you when you are about to ovulate; it will only tell you when you have ovulated. Likewise, cervical changes alone aren't sufficient to track fertility. Fertile days are determined based on both male and female fertility (whether the sperm could survive long enough to encounter an egg, compensation for possible double ovulation, etc.). The method is highly customizable, as a well-educated couple can be more or less conservative with classifying fertile days, based on how important it is for them to avoid conception. Usually, a woman has about 8 fertile days per cycle. The Rhythm Method is bullshit because it assumes all women have 28 day cycles, with ovulation on the 14th day. This is simply untrue. FAM is effective (when properly done) because it assumes nothing, but simply listens to the woman's body, and can change cycle by cycle.

Obviously, the method is not suitable for all (I might say, "most") couples, since it requires a lot of study to fully understand the method, diligence in monitoring and interpreting your fertility, and a high degree of self-control on the fertile days. I don't think my fiance & I would ever use it for birth control, but I recently read a book covering the fertility awareness method and found it fascinating (It's like 2 inches thick, covers how to chart & interpret what's happening with your lady parts, FAM for birth control, FAM to help concieve, menopause, common gynecological problems and how to spot them early... all sorts of stuff). I've started monitoring my own cycles, not to use for contraception, but simply to understand what's happening in my body. I'm surprised at how clear my hormonal shifts are (I'm not currently on hormonal birth control, going to get a copper IUD before the wedding). I think it's valuable for women to understand their bodies, and to be able to recognize normal and abnormal fluctuations. When I was a girl, all I was told was "you're going to bleed about once a month, this is how to use a tampon, keep backup in your purse because you never know when it'll hit." Your lady parts do not need to be such a mystery.

TL;DR Don't be an asshole, especially about things you haven't taken the time to learn about. To the ladies: Fertility Awareness Method is very interesting, and worth reading about just for the insight into your body.

*edit: messed up the link

Happy to help! If you're interested in learning more about the mysterious ways of the menstrual cycle, and what actually goes on every month, I highly recommend this book. Some women use it to get pregnant, others (like me) use it to identify their most fertile days in order to avoid pregnancy, and some just use it to learn more about their own bodies. I personally wish I someone had handed this book to me when I was a teenager. It's a truly empowering experience to understand your own body, I must say. If you're not quite convinced, check out the gazillion positive reviews on amazon and elsewhere.

I do a combination of Fertility Awareness and Condoms. There's this book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility which I highly recommend. It definitely makes me feel better about the whole situation and I feel very in control of my own body. It's worked for two years thus far.

I do it too, and I can definitely smell it when my period's about to start. Then again, I also spend some time every day feeling my cervix and examining its secretions, so I'm pretty in tune with what's going on down there.

For the best confidence level, she could look into getting an IUD. But, if that's not desirable or feasible, she can get on the pill, and then use condoms and spermicide (I like VCF) and it would be pretty shocking if she got pregnant through all of that.

Also, for good measure, I would highly, highly recommend her reading Taking Charge of Your Fertility: http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0060937645. I certainly wouldn't recommend FAM as a birth control method for the two of you. But I think that a lot of the fear of pregnancy comes from women not really understanding how their bodies work, and being messed up by the fear tactics used in a lot of sex education.

You are in an abusive situation. Get help. Make a plan and get away from him. Change your number, block him on social media, do not communicate with him. He will try to get you back. He will say all the right things to make you think he has changed. He has not. He is unhealthy. He is abusive. You cannot "fix" him. Get out of the relationship as quickly as you can.

Go to the doctor. Do not buy him anything else. Go see a counselor. Do you go to college? Colleges often have inexpensive counseling services. Work on yourself. Love and accept yourself.

As far as your other issue, the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility is very insightful.

Taking Charge of Your Fertility: The Definitive Guide to Natural Birth Control, Pregnancy Achievement, and Reproductive Health (Revised Edition) https://www.amazon.com/dp/0060937645/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_apa_uwrNzbRGYSWS0

Your fertility varies throughout the month. Some days you have a 0 or near 0 percent chance of becoming pregnant, and some days you have a much higher chance. So, it's impossible to come up with a number that will apply to every sexual encounter you have. It's more practical to come up with a rough yearly average percentage.

I suggest buying a used copy of this book to learn more!!! It is extremely useful for understanding your fertility and your cycles and at $.66 it's information anyone can afford!

I would say from this is the source for most people who follow FAM. It is extremely comprehensive.
http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0060937645

This is the website that can accompany the book. I think some people find the forums very useful. http://www.tcoyf.com/

Planned Parenthood and other services that educate about reproductive health will have print materials for learning this service, and there are definitely doctors and other health professionals who educate via workshops etc about this.

Yeah, take a pregnancy test. If she's not pregnant, then don't be concerned, she likely just had a delayed ovulation. Ovulation can be delayed for a number of reasons, like stress. Your wife (and maybe you) might be interested in reading this book http://www.amazon.com/Taking-Charge-Your-Fertility-Reproductive/dp/0060937645

I was amazed at how little I knew about my own body before I read this!!